Janet moaned and mumbled contentedly, then rolled onto her side.
He covered her shoulders, switched off the bedside lamp and snuggled into the contour of her body, gently putting his arms around her and feeling the soft velvet skin of her firm abdomen.
Janet awoke feeling slightly disconnected. Her head pounded and the morning sun glared painfully in her eyes. She’d been drunk last night … very drunk. What a stupid thing to have done. She was sure she’d made a complete ass out of herself. How would she ever be able to face him, much less explain her conduct? When she realized that he was no longer in the bed she put her arm over her eyes, feeling even more desolate.
“Good morning. Sleep well?”
She was startled. He was bending over her, and there was nothing derisive in his voice. In fact, if anything it was a voice that sounded like a smile. Still, she couldn’t look at him. “I feel terrible … and ashamed. I must have made an awful fool of myself.”
He took her arm gently away from her eyes and looked at her. “You have nothing to feel ashamed about.”
“Yes I do, a lady doesn’t act the way I must have last night.”
“You couldn’t be anything but a lady. Take it from someone who’s had his fill of the other kind … Feel like a cup of hot coffee? Just made it.”
She nodded, then looked at Bill’s face to see if anything of last night could be read into it. It revealed nothing. She asked softly, “I suppose I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have … last night?”
“Not that I can remember.”
“I hope you know I’ve never been that way before.”
“I didn’t think you had.”
When he left the room she sat up too quickly. Feeling as if her head would blow up, she inched herself to the edge of the bed and stood unsteadily. She took a deep breath, then walked to the bathroom, where she used Bill’s toothbrush and took a long shower, letting the hot spray pelt against her.
She turned the shower knobs off reluctantly and reached for a towel. Bill watched from the bedroom, remembering the silkiness of her hair under his hands as she combed through it.
She came out of the bathroom with the towel draped around her like a sarong and got into bed.
“Here’s your coffee. Drink it while it’s hot.”
She sniffed, then sipped. Ambrosia. And a few moments ago she thought she was dying. “This is delicious.”
“That’s the beginning and end of my culinary art.”
“It’s so good.”
“Glad you like it.”
“Mmmm … I do.”
They sat side by side drinking the hot brew.
“Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Audrey Hepburn?”
“Oh … a few times,” she answered, embarrassed in spite of her effort to sound flip. “Well, did anyone ever tell you that you look like a cross between Charlton Heston and … Gregory Peck?”
“No. What part of me looks like Charlton Heston?”
“You’re making fun of me.”
“I’d never do that,” he said, taking the cup from her hand and placing it next to his on the nightstand. Sliding down into the bed, he lay on his side and put his leg over hers. “God, you smell so sweet.” Between kisses she answered, “You … too …”
For a while nothing else existed except the wonder of exploring each other’s bodies with soft caresses. Once again he drew her hand between his legs, then left her embrace and trailed his lips downward until he found the moist tender sweetness between her thighs.
He discovered places she didn’t know existed as he parted the lips with his tongue. She could scarcely breathe with the onslaught of new sensations, and her heart pounded as she ran her fingers through his hair. When both sensed the moment was right, he moved up to her, thrusting himself deep inside. Janet felt herself dissolving in a warm turbulent sea, her passion rising to match his until both were spent.
How strange, she thought as they lay clinging to each other. A few short Sundays ago her day had been spent in the worst sort of despair. She’d been desperate, compulsive, walking through Central Park like some feline stalking its prey. If she hadn’t defied every convention she’d been brought up with she would never have been here now, feeling so content in Bill’s arms. She snuggled closer and listened to his heart beat. It was a marvelous sound.
“Bill,” she asked softly, “how do you spend Sunday?”
He’d almost forgotten. This was Sunday, the one day his mother lived for. Damn. He wanted badly to spend the day with Janet, the first girl to sleep in his apartment around the clock, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell her that he had to go home and see mama every Sunday. “Why do you ask?” he answered with more irritation than he intended.
Janet was startled by the annoyance in his voice. Last night he had almost begged her to stay after he’d recovered from her declaration of love, and from then on everything had been unbelievably wonderful. But now he was peeved by a simple little question about how he spent his Sundays. She simply couldn’t figure him out.
“I don’t know why I asked … I just wondered what people did for diversion. It’s … that I find Sundays so lonely.”
He laughed to himself … for him loneliness spelled M.O.T.H.E.R.
“Oh, people do different things, I suppose,” he said, trying not to think of what lay ahead for him this afternoon.
“Like?”
“Like … play tennis, skate, horseback riding. I don’t know. I suppose visit … with family.”
“Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Visit? A lot I mean?”
“Well, quite a bit,” he answered reluctantly.
“I think you’re lucky.”
“You do?”
“Yes, I’m very family oriented. I just wish I could see mine more often. Telephone calls aren’t the same.”
Telephone calls … Lord, it was already noon and she was probably waiting right now. “Janet, I’m sorry as hell, but you’ll have to excuse me for a moment … I should call my mother, she’s expecting me for lunch today and if any of us are late she worries herself sick … well, you know, she’s an old lady …” He looked embarrassed.
She could have kissed his mother. So that’s what he did on Sundays. And just a few weeks ago she’d fantasized that that was his big day for bedtime dates …
Janet dressed while Bill was phoning. Looking at herself in the mirror, she wondered how she was going to walk into the Barbizon with a long dress on. Everyone would know. If only she had a coat she could hike up the dress and tuck in the waistband. Well, it was either lose her reputation or ruin one of her favorite dresses. No more debates. Using a small pair of scissors that she found in the bathroom, she cut the dress to a daytime length and then launched into the surgery of her long satin slip.
She wasn’t going to fool anybody by this, she thought as she surveyed the dismal results. She’d not only ruined the dress and slip but her name would be mud forever. No one would look at the ragged raveled edge of the chiffon and believe that that hem had come undone. Sighing, she went back to the bedroom.
Bill was in such a hurry to get out of there and get Long Island over with that he didn’t notice her dress until they stood in front of the elevator. “What happened to your dress? Moths get it?”
Men, in their fashion, were really so naive. “I could hardly go back this time of day looking like I’d come from a four o’clock wedding reception, so I had to cut it off.”
“By God, that’s right.” That was one of the problems of living in a hotel he hadn’t thought about. “No one’s going to notice,” he said reassuringly. “Just too bad that lovely dress had to be ruined.”
“Do you think so?” she asked as they stepped into the elevator.
He answered by kissing her.
They were still kissing when the doors opened. They walked out of the lobby to the garage across the street and Bill helped her into his Cadillac convertible.
“I didn�
�t know you had a car.”
“Easier to take cabs in the city.”
“I suppose … Bill, do you honestly think I look—”
“Fine, I swear. No one will notice.”
“I hope so.”
Before she knew it, Bill was stopping at the curb in front of the hotel and turning off the ignition. She didn’t know what to say. Thank you for a wonderful … wonderful what? God, she didn’t know what to say, but when she saw that he was about to get out and come round to her side she had another worry. “Thank you, Bill, but I’d prefer to go in alone. It would be less …”
“Of course, I understand,” he said, brushing a strand of hair from her forehead. Taking her to him, he kissed her. “I’ll call.”
She merely nodded and let herself out of the car. Instantly a wave of loneliness swept over her as she watched the car disappear from sight. It was as though she had suddenly been set adrift in an unfamiliar world. She turned reluctantly and went through the revolving door.
With the greatest dignity she could command, Janet strode across the lobby to the elevator. But just as she had feared, she became the focus of attention. The ladies of the Barbizon were making sure they didn’t miss one small ragged thread. She could feel eyes piercing through her, as if they could see everything that had happened to her since last night.
It seemed an eternity before the door swung back. The elevator operator slowly eyed her from head to toe. “Good afternoon, Miss Stevens.” Her tone seemed to say, Well, well, well, Miss Kansas Corn finally got laid.
As Janet stepped out of the elevator at her floor she heard, “Have a nice day, Miss Stevens.”
Her face turned crimson. She ran down the hall to her room and stood fumbling for the keys in her purse. Once inside, she leaned against the door and angrily wiped away the tears in her eyes. God, how humiliating. She threw her satin slippers across the room and ripped off her dress, then sat on the bed blowing her nose and wiping her eyes. She was weary now and felt terribly alone. God, love was pretty awful too.
She picked up the phone and called the old homestead. “It’s me, mom.”
“Janet, I’m so glad you called.”
“Well, I just got lonesome for you—”
“It’s mutual, darling … Do you have a cold?”
“No.”
“Oh? You sound a little stuffed up. Are you feeling okay?”
“Just wonderful. How are you and dad?”
“Fine, darling. Just fine.”
“… Could you and dad come to New York for a few days?”
“We’d love to but your father’s so busy and I don’t think he can take the time. Dr. Sanders is on vacation.”
“I see … Well, then I think maybe I’ll come home next weekend. I want to see you.”
There was a silent moment. “Janet, are you sure you’re all right?”
“I’m sure. Just a little homesick, that’s all.”
“Well, your father and I will be happy to see you. Let me know when the plane arrives.”
“I will. Is dad there?”
“No. He’s at the hospital.”
“I see. Say hello to him. And mom … I love you …”
After hanging up she sat with her hand on the receiver. She felt rotten, and suddenly frightened that Bill wouldn’t call her again. God, he must have thought she was cheap. She hadn’t exactly protested when … the thought made her cringe. She went into the bathroom, let the water run in the tub and lathered herself with the lavender-scented soap. Then she lay back, wondering if Bill had even given her a thought …
He sat at his mother’s table now, having lunch with Harriet and Gordon. He ate mechanically, scarcely hearing a word that was said. It was the usual menu. Fresh fruit salad, capon, hot popovers, vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce. The conversation too was predictable. About how busy Alice was with her children. Getting the boys ready for high school kept her hopping, and Gwen had decided she wanted to attend the Sorbonne for two years. And imagine Randy going to Yale … Good Lord, it had been like yesterday, Violet said, when she had sewn all the name tags into Bill’s clothing and he went off to military school, then to M.I.T. If only Jason could have lived to see their grandchildren grow up. And Betsy … where did she get the stamina to do all she did? It was beyond Violet’s comprehension. Imagine Betsy being president of the …
Bill wasn’t listening. “Mother, I won’t be able to be here for the next few Sundays …”
Silence. Violet sat looking at him. He had been unusually late today and vague with his excuse. But it wasn’t only that that bothered her. He had been silent throughout the meal, sitting there with an abstracted look in his eyes … “I’m sorry to hear that, dear. But I’m sure it must be important or you wouldn’t—”
“Yes, it’s very important. We have a large project going on in Galveston.”
“When did you say you were leaving?”
“I didn’t, but on Friday afternoon.”
“You’ll be staying on until the following weekend?”
He had to think fast. She’d call the office to check up. She was mighty crafty that way. She always used to catch him in a lie. But he’d double-check with his secretary. “Yes, mother.”
“Have a wonderful trip. And write even if it’s just a card.”
He had a friend who flew for Delta Airlines. Jack had mailed prewritten cards one or two times before. God, this was so damned ridiculous.
The afternoon moved on slowly as he played billiards with Gordon. By dinnertime he was ready to jump out the window. He agonized through the meal, then excused himself early, explaining that he had a big day ahead of him tomorrow and so forth …
She kissed him good-by as if he were leaving for Siberia, told him to take care of himself and be careful.
He promised he would and was off….
Violet turned to Harriet. “You don’t believe I was taken in by Bill saying he was going to Galveston, do you?”
“Why not, mother? After all, he is an engineer.”
“Yes, of course, but I always know when Bill’s not telling the truth. He’s not very good at fibbing. Never was.”
“Why should he have to do that?” Harriet asked, as though she didn’t know.
“Harriet, Bill’s carrying on with some woman and I think it’s serious.”
“Really? Well, why shouldn’t he?”
“Because he’s far too young. He has plenty of time for that.”
“Mother, for heaven’s sake. What Bill does is his own business, not yours, and you’d better get used to the idea. He’s going to marry one day and you won’t have a thing to say about it.”
“Let’s get back to our game of cribbage.”
The moment Bill got into his apartment he called Janet, but her line was busy. He kept trying every few minutes, but whoever she was talking to was surely long-winded….
The moment Janet hung up after speaking to Kit, she took up her purse and locked the door.
She was a few feet down the hall when she heard her phone, and rushed back, fumbled for the key and unlocked the door. But by the time she grabbed up the receiver the caller had hung up. It had to have been Bill. It had to … The only other possibility was Kit, and she was meeting her for dinner. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she debated whether or not to call him back.
At the very same moment Bill was thinking, damn, first it’s busy then no answer. She must have gone out. Well, he was going to do the same. Have a few drinks. He really could use it after today.
By the time Janet decided to call, he was already in the elevator and halfway across the lobby—and so no answer.
It must not have been him after all …
CHAPTER SIX
BILL WORKED IN HIS office until eleven o’clock Monday night, sending out for sandwiches and coffee. By the time he came up for air it was too late to call Janet. She had to be up and out very early in the morning, so he’d have to wait until sometime tomorrow….
On Tuesday he call
ed Conover’s only to be told that she was out on location and that they had no idea when she’d be back …
Well, he would try about six. She’d probably be home.
Six came, but still no Janet. Well, she did have a life of her own. He tried on and off until nine-thirty. She was out for the evening, the hotel operator finally said. Would he care to leave a message? No, he wouldn’t care to leave a message. She seemed to lead a very busy social life, he thought sullenly …
Having gone to an early dinner and movie with Kit, Janet arrived home at nine-thirty, almost to the moment that Bill had hung up. She asked the switchboard if there were any messages. The operator, who had just come on for late duty, said no.
That night she slept badly. Why hadn’t Bill called? Face it, Janet. You were a one-night stand after all. She was hurt, but if she had a shred of pride left it had to be salvaged. She was not going to call him. She’d made a fool enough of herself. She was beginning to wish she had gone by her upbringing. If nothing else, she’d still have her dignity … not to mention her virginity. She’d certainly given it away fast enough. Well, if she ever went beyond a casual date with another man she was going to make absolutely sure that he liked her as much as she liked … Except that none of these fine resolutions were one bit of comfort now….
On Wednesday, Bill had to be out of town, and negotiations on the contract he was bidding for became so involved that he didn’t get home until midnight. Damn it, too late … He set his alarm for six. He was going to get to Janet if it killed him.
At six-fifteen Janet picked up the ringing phone. “Hello.”
“Hello is right,” he said. “Do you know I’ve been trying to get you since Sunday night?”
Janet’s hand began to shake. All those terrible things she’d thought about him all week … “I didn’t get any messages.”
“I didn’t leave any, I thought you might be too busy to call me back—”
“Oh, Bill, I wasn’t that busy. In fact I wasn’t busy at all.”
“Really? For someone who lives such a Spartan life, it’s strange I could never find you in.”
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