He swished his feet in the water and Nancy couldn’t help but smile. ‘How many children are you away with?’
‘Three including Aiden. My sister has one on the way too.’
‘Wow, another niece or nephew – how exciting.’ Nancy couldn’t imagine having another baby, not when Jack took up so much of her time and energy. She just wouldn’t be able to do it. Not that she ever thought she would be able to trust a man enough again to have children with him. Thanks for that, Pete!
‘Yeah, she’s due in September. Although I hope her hormones settle down because I’m not sure I can take much more of her mood swings – how her husband deals with it on a daily basis, I don’t know.’ He rolled his eyes and Nancy couldn’t help herself, she gave way to the laughter, and noticed she was swishing her feet in the same way Cameron was doing.
He leaned forward to look at Jack. ‘How’s little man doing?’
Nancy turned back to look at Jack for herself. He was watching his favourite programme and she noticed he had begun to swish his feet too. It was comforting to see. ‘Yeah he’s doing OK. He’s not keen on the heat but we are getting through it.’
‘The heat can be tough if you’re not used to it. Aiden used to hate it when he was younger. His mum used to—’ He stopped suddenly, realising what he had said and decided against continuing. They sat quietly for a moment. Nancy desperately wanted to ask where Aiden’s mum was, but it wasn’t her business. The two were clearly separated – no big deal there – although looking at Cameron it was hard to understand why anyone would ever leave such a good-looking man!
‘Well, I’d better get back to the others – don’t want to give my sister any more reason to bite my head off. It was nice seeing you again, Nancy.’ He stood up and left abruptly, leaving Nancy wondering if it was something she’d said. Maybe Cameron’s break up was fairly new and he was still struggling with it, but he’d been the one to bring up the conversation so he couldn’t blame her for that. Maybe she was better off single. Not that dating anyone would be easy with Jack. And Pete was back on the scene now, wasn’t he? She didn’t want him back, but he wasn’t going to make things easy for her. Her life was a bit of a mess.
‘It’s your turn,’ Harriet panted as she plonked herself down onto the lounger and exhaled noisily. ‘Oh my word, that is hard work.’
‘What is? Playing in the water?’ Nancy laughed and shook her feet off as she stood.
‘That little one had me going up and down those slide steps fifty million times.’
‘You know, if you actually go down the slide, you only have to do the steps one way.’
‘I am not going down that death trap – I swear, I would go over the edge. Do you see how fast they go? Not for me, thank you. Did you get drinks?’
‘Um, no. I was chatting to Cameron.’ She slipped her shorts and top off as she spoke, revealing her royal blue swimsuit which had a hole cut out in the back.
‘So, he did come over and speak to you.’ Harriet smiled, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.
‘I might have known you had something to do with it.’
‘I simply said you were sitting over here, that’s all.’ Nancy rolled her eyes and tied her long brown hair up into a bun. ‘Oh, and that you were a single parent.’
Nancy dropped her hands to her sides with a slam against her thighs. ‘Are you having a laugh? Please tell me you’re joking?’
‘What? It’s no secret? You’re here, with a child, and no fella – it’s not rocket science!’
‘I could just be on a girls’ holiday with my friend and her children. Not everyone goes away with their other halves all the time. What if my partner worked in the army or away at sea – then I would have to holiday without him, wouldn’t I?’
Harriet pulled herself up onto her elbows and looked at Nancy. ‘Do you know, I didn’t even think of that? That’s a good point. Which could mean that he might not be a single parent, just because I haven’t seen a woman about.’
‘Actually, I think he is. He’s here with his sister and her husband.’
Harriet sat bolt upright. ‘Oooh, so you had a proper chat then. What else did you find out? Where’s he from, what’s he do, what does he look like with his kit off?’
‘Harriet! The children!’
‘Sorry bubs,’ she said to Isla who was jiggling on the spot, desperate for Nancy to hurry up and take her back into the water.
‘We didn’t really talk much; he went a bit weird at the end to be honest and rushed off. Anyway, enough of this, I’ve got some water slides to go down. Isla, are you ready?’ She gave her thumbs up and Isla squealed, running off towards the water.
‘OK, don’t rush back – I’ve got some tanning to do.’
Chapter 15
‘Would you just look at that?’ Harriet looked out over the pool that their room overlooked and then further into the distance. The deep navy colour of the sea, as the moonlight shone over the glistening water, was definitely a sight she would never forget. It was 2 a.m. and she and Nancy had been sitting on their balcony for the last four and a half hours since the children had finally drifted off to sleep.
‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it?’ Nancy said as she sipped her prosecco and settled back further into her chair. ‘Who says you can’t be in paradise when you have kids in tow?’
‘I agree with you but keep the volume down eh? I don’t want to wake the little angels and have to sacrifice my bit of paradise for whinging and fidgets.’
Nancy laughed and pretended to lock her mouth. Harriet smiled at her. ‘Thanks for coming away with me – I know things aren’t easy with Jack and I admit, I didn’t really think about how it would be for you guys. I just saw the chance to take a holiday and grabbed it.’
‘It’s fine – we are getting through it, aren’t we?’
‘You sure are. Even after your shaky start with the kids’ club. What a fucking nightmare that was.’ Harriet laughed and took a swig of her prosecco.
‘Honestly Hari, I was this close to digging myself a hole and climbing in voluntarily. The stuff you have to go through as a parent – it’s crazy. In no other job would you put up with this crap. We don’t get any holiday pay, sickness pay, days off – nothing.’
‘Just an endless stream of screaming, puking and shitting.’ Harriet topped up both their glasses. ‘They don’t tell you that when you sign up to Parenthood for Life.’
‘Hey, it’s not all bad. There are good times too – we have to just take the crappy times alongside it.’
‘Even the puking?’ Harriet raised her eyebrow. ‘If I could erase one thing from parenting it would be the vomit. Hands down, the worst part.’
Nancy shook her head as she gulped her prosecco. ‘No, the worst part is the tantrums.’
‘Are you kidding me? You’re standing in a supermarket and your child starts having a tantrum. What do you do? You ignore the critter. Straight up ignore the bad behaviour – or whatever it is you’re supposed to do according to the imaginary manual that no parent ever gets.’
Nancy giggled.
‘But … you’re in a supermarket and your kid vomits. You’re screwed. There’s no ignoring that – there’s puke everywhere and there isn’t a hope in hell of walking away from that shit. It’s definitely worse!’
Nancy slipped down further in her chair and put her feet up onto the balcony railings, making herself more comfortable. ‘OK, fair enough. You win that round.’
‘Rounds? I didn’t realise we were playing Parenting Mistakes of 2018. I think I am currently the reigning champ of this game having won the title of Shittiest Mum every year from 2014 –when Isla May was born – through to now.’
‘Oh shush!’ Nancy threw a cushion at Harriet, who ducked just in time to see it go straight over the railings and land directly into the pool below. Both girls jumped up as they gasped, looking down at the floating square of fluff below. ‘Crap! Do you think they’ll know it’s from our room?’ Nancy looked at Harriet wide-eyed.<
br />
‘If they do, the bill is coming your way – that was a shocking throw!’
‘Hey! I used to play for the girls’ cricket team at college.’ Nancy pushed out her chest with pride, although she’d secretly hated it when she was there.
‘You have got to be kidding me – with that arm?’
‘Yeah, I only lasted three weeks. They kept putting me way out on field and I never got a look in.’ Nancy sat back down. ‘I do remember one game I played with them, one of the final games I played as part of the team, and there was this guy – Adam – he was the cutest boy in our year and he was the wicket keeper…’
Harriet nodded and picked up a strawberry from the bowl of fruit they were sharing.
‘So anyway, this kid from the other team hit the ball so hard and I was running forward to get it and I dropped it. I was so annoyed, especially as I knew this cute guy was watching me. So I grabbed the ball as fast as I could and without even thinking, I just launched it back to him as hard as I could, not even bothering to look if the runner was back or not.’
‘What happened – did you get the runner out?’
Nancy shook her head. ‘No, I knocked Adam the wicket keeper out instead.’
Harriet choked as a small piece of strawberry slipped down the back of her throat when she gasped at Nancy’s story. Nancy passed her some water and she gulped it down, steadying her coughs to a steady growl as she pushed down the rogue fruit piece. ‘Are you serious? Is that how you normally get your guys – knock them out and drag them back to your cave!’
‘Haha, I wouldn’t mind but he was proper out cold. Went to hospital and everything to get checked afterwards. The helmets are supposed to protect you from that kind of thing, but my ball went into his visor – which he should have had closed so I am totally blaming him.’
‘Oh!’ Harriet threw her hands out wide. ‘It’s totally not your fault then. The guy should’ve worn his protective equipment correctly.’
Nancy agreed and clinked Harriet’s glass. ‘Hear hear!’
The girls resumed their silence as they gazed over the pool area once again.
‘It really is beautiful here, isn’t it? I could sit here all night and stare at this view. Look, if you lean a little bit my way, Nance, you can see the beach from here. Can you see?’ Nancy did as she was asked and nodded. ‘Isn’t it incredible? Sometimes when I take a second to stop like this, I am amazed at what is around me.’
‘That’s because you spend your entire life with your nose inside your phone or your laptop – there is a world outside of your little stress bubble, you know.’
‘I know,’ Harriet replied but didn’t pursue the conversation any further. She wasn’t ready to have an honest conversation about how much work was encroaching on her life. Not yet. It wasn’t like she couldn’t see what Nancy was doing, constantly bringing up work. She knew her friend was trying to make Harriet see she worked too much.
‘So what made you choose here?’
‘Huh?’ Harriet questioned.
‘Ibiza – what made you book a holiday here? I don’t think I ever thought of it as a family holiday resort if I’m honest – just a party island.’
‘That’s because you watch trashy TV and believe the stereotype. Granted there are elements of this island where you will find the partygoers, but that happens everywhere. A colleague of mine came here last summer with his family and wouldn’t stop raving about it. He was showing me his snaps from the holiday and all I kept seeing was the beautiful blue sea, sandy beaches, laughing children, waterpark and lots of families. It sounded perfect for what we needed.’
Nancy nodded with a smile. ‘Can’t say I disagree.’
‘I wanted to take you somewhere special, somewhere you would enjoy but also where Jack and the kids would have stuff to do too. I know how stressed you are with him so I figured if he had a good time, then you would enjoy it even more. But it hasn’t quite been the relaxing break we both planned has it…?’ Nancy smiled back at her, acknowledging the meaning behind her comment. Harriet hadn’t envisaged arguing with Nancy and witnessing Jack’s meltdowns as part of the holiday itinerary.
They sat for a while just listening to the music playing from Harriet’s phone. The sky was a deep black with the twinkling of stars dotted throughout. They were close enough to hear the sea, which was something Harriet hadn’t noticed before. At this time, in the middle of the night when everything was peaceful, the splashing of the waves was clearly audible and incredibly therapeutic.
‘Hari?’
‘Hmm?’
‘Do you think Jack will be OK?’
Harriet frowned, turning to her friend who had gone from looking bright-eyed and laughing at her cricket story, to sombre and on the verge of tears. ‘Of course, why wouldn’t he?
Nancy shrugged, diverting her eyes back to the sea. ‘I’m scared.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t want him to struggle, like, when he’s older.’
Harriet felt a wave of sadness for her friend. As hard as she found parenting, Nancy was playing a whole different ball game. ‘With you around him, he will be fine.’
‘But, without sounding like I don’t care – because I do, I love him to bits,’ she nodded at Harriet as if to make sure she knew how much she meant that statement.
‘I know you do, hon.’
‘But … I—’ She stopped.
Harriet stayed silent as she waited for her friend to continue. She leaned forward and took Nancy’s hand in hers. ‘Babe, listen to me.’ When Nancy didn’t respond, she pressed on. ‘Look at me, Nance.’ Nancy did as she was asked, her hazel eyes full of sorrow. ‘Don’t ever feel you can’t say things to me. You don’t have to put on a show for me – I am your friend and I am here to help you, not judge you. Don’t ever feel like you have to censor how you are really feeling. Let me in, let me help you.’ This was rich coming from Harriet and she knew that Nancy knew that too. Harriet wasn’t one for opening up and saying she was struggling. But this wasn’t about her, at least not today.
Nancy took a breath. ‘I just don’t want to have to always be one step behind him apologising for him or taking control of everything he does. I want him to be comfortable and cope with things without me there.’
‘And I’m sure he will cope. Try not to worry.’ It was a lame response; Harriet wanted to be able to say something to her that would make it all go away, but what exactly was the right thing to say?
‘What if he never learns how to cope with what life throws at him? What if he can’t ever live on his own, keep himself safe?’
‘All these skills come later in life. He will learn them. It doesn’t matter if it takes him a bit longer, he will get there.’
Nancy exhaled, her voice giving way to a little wobble, betraying her emotions. ‘Hari, what if he spends his life unhappy because he doesn’t know how to cope with … well … anything? I’m supposed to be teaching him all these things, but I can’t even take his headphones off without getting it wrong.’ She hesitated. ‘I am finding out new stuff about him all the time which is great but, equally, it makes me feel like I don’t even know my own son.’
‘That is utter rubbish and I refuse to let you wallow in this, Nancy. You’re my best friend and I bloody love you to pieces and I will not let you talk yourself into thinking you’re a shit mum.’ Harriet was waving her finger now, she meant business.
‘But Hari, what if—’
‘Babe, if we spent our lives saying what if, we would never do anything! You can’t run your life on what if’s and if only’s.’ She lifted her glass. ‘You also can’t run your life without prosecco – drink up.’ She tipped her glass and gulped, watching Nancy do the same.
She was the worst person to come to for advice. She saw things in black and white – there was no grey area and there definitely was no room for emotion in her life. But when it came to Nancy, she couldn’t help but be emotionally attached and this was breaking her heart. She didn’t have the answe
rs to her friends worries, but what she did have was more prosecco – that would have to do for now.
Chapter 16
‘Mummy, what does shit mean?’
Nancy pulled her sunglasses off her face and peered at her son, innocently sitting at the end of her sun lounger, his eyes wide in wonderment and clearly unaware of the impact of the word that had just erupted from his mouth. ‘Where did you hear that word?’
‘On a review,’ he countered, still not flinching.
‘A review? What kind of review?’ The blistering sunshine was beating down onto her lightly pink skin, drying off the beads of water from where she’d recently vacated the pool.
‘On YouTube.’
Bloody YouTube, she cursed under her breath. Even with the child filters on, Jack had a way of finding stuff he shouldn’t. The kid was a technical wizard.
‘Show me,’ she said, sitting up and putting her glasses on the table to her left. She took the iPad and clicked play. The video was reviewing a television programme that Jack liked to watch on the discovery channel about ancient structures. The review was presented by teenagers and seemed to be a mock review, rather than a real one. And then, about two minutes in, she heard it.
‘If you like watching programmes about shit that was built years ago – then this will be for you.’
Nancy sighed. How was she supposed to filter videos that snuck in things like this – it was impossible. Maybe she should be watching all the videos first before letting Jack? Although, how practical was that in the world of parenting?
‘Sweetie, just delete that one, I don’t want you watching it. Try to stay to the ones that are done by children. You know the reviews you like to watch that KIDZtV do? Those are fine.’
Nancy handed the iPad back to Jack just as Harriet returned from the bar clutching two cocktails and a bottle of water.
‘Ok Mummy, but what does shit actually mean?’
Harriet snorted. ‘Jeez, what sort of conversation have I just walked back into? I don’t fancy your choice of topic to discuss with your seven-year-old, Nance.’ And then Harriet laughed because they both knew that this would be the kind of slip up she would normally make with her children.
Mums Just Wanna Have Fun Page 9
