by Marie James
He huffs, agitated with my response. “You didn’t give me a shitty life. We had shitty circumstances.”
“So it’s Mom’s fault?” I round on him and sneer. “She did the best she could, also.”
I ignore the clenching of his fists. He hasn’t tried to punch me in over a year, but I know he has as much anger in him as I do. I blame his abusive father for both of us responding with fists rather than words. We learned from the best after all.
“Really? Her best?” I hate the indignant tone in his voice. My own knuckles pop when I roll my fingers into my palms. “You seem to have forgotten the parties, booze, drugs, and a revolving door of men.”
“I haven’t forgotten,” I hiss, hating that I couldn’t protect him from all of it. “She wasn’t perfect, but she’s our mother.”
“Was,” he spits.
“I’m well aware that she’s gone.” My words are pushed past closed teeth, my jaw clenched so hard it hurts.
“What you seem to forget is it was her choices, her lifestyle that put her in that hospital bed.”
I shake my head, even though I know he’s telling the truth. You don’t live the life we have and not think of all of the things that could’ve made it better.
“She chose cancer?”
He swallows before speaking, and I already know his voice is going to tremble. No matter how upset he is or who he blames, he loved our mom as much as I did, maybe more than me since I had to endure that life longer than he did.
“She chose to drink and party. She chose a lifestyle that would make her body prone to disease.”
My anger falls away as the tears roll down my brother’s cheeks.
“Listen,” I rush out.
My hands scrape over the top of my head. I want to reach out to him, pull him against my chest and vow to protect him from the world, but I know I can’t protect him from the pain of losing our mother and the disappointment he feels toward her. I’m unable to placate him because deep down, I feel exactly the same way.
“We’ll stay here. Things will get better.”
“Y-you don’t want to leave?” Longing fills his eyes as he waits for me to answer.
“I’ll stay,” I assure him.
The knock at the door has me instantly wanting to take my words back. I knew I couldn’t just waltz back into this house without at least having a conversation with Jaxon, but I’d hoped for a longer reprieve.
Drew turns and opens the door.
“Hey, Jaxon,” he says as he hastily wipes the back of his hands over his damp cheeks.
“Drew,” he says looking over my brother’s shoulder. “May I have a minute alone with Lawson?”
Drew looks over his shoulder at me. He’s both asking if it’s okay and begging me not to fuck things up at the same time. I give a slight nod and watch as he steps past Jaxon and closes the door behind him.
He stands near the door, not stiff but not inviting either. I can’t get a clear read on how this is going to go down. That alone makes me want to puff my chest and act like a bulldog. Defensiveness has always been my go-to response for most situations.
Silence fills the room, and I can sense his eyes on me. Although my phone is lit in my hands, I’m not seeing a damn thing on the screen. Yet, I refuse to give into the pressure to speak. It feels like an interrogation tactic.
When I look up, I don’t find anger on his face, but the pity is full-blown, and it enrages me. Remembering the begging in Drew’s face, I do my best to keep my calm.
“If you’re here for an apology about earlier, you’re wasting your time.”
He clears his throat as he tries to fight a smile. Maybe staying calm is the last thing this asshole fucking needs.
I make to stand from the chair.
“Don’t,” he says. He’s not loud, but the warning is clear in his voice.
“I don’t like being mocked,” I hiss, but my ass stays in the desk chair.
“I’m not mocking you.” His eyes light up. “The resemblance, the reaction, the anger and draw to a violent response is very familiar to me.”
“I’m nothing like you.” He raises an eyebrow. “We may look similar, but that’s it.”
“You want me to prove that you’re wrong?” I shake my head. I don’t need some long life story from my sperm donor, but fuck if I don’t want to know everything about him. “I don’t mind. I’ll answer any question you have.”
“Father/son bonding?” I chuckle at the absurdity of the concept.
“You’re a man, Lawson. You don’t need some guy acting like your father, but you can’t deny that you need help.”
“I don’t do fucking handouts. I’m not some charity case.”
A smile spreads across his face, and my lip twitches in anger.
He holds his hand up and walks across the room. My blood simmers from boiling when he takes a seat on the last step of the bunk bed stairs.
“I don’t know if you’re aware of what Cerberus actually does,” he says.
“Drugs, guns, and women,” I say filling in the rest.
His eyes widen. “The only thing in this house that can be considered a drug is Delilah’s EpiPen because she’s allergic to peanuts. She’s only a girl, so no women.”
He emphasizes the word as if I haven’t noticed how fucking sexy she is, and I don’t miss the warning either.
“There are plenty of guns, but those are locked up and safely put away.”
“And?” What kind of MC did my mom get involved in?
“We’re getting off course,” he says but doesn’t seem irritated with the diversion. “Cerberus is hired out for missions. We specialize in recovery and extraction. Rescuing people who have been abducted, mostly women who’ve been sold into the sex trade.”
It’s time for my eyes to widen in shock.
“With that responsibility comes the need to know everything we can about a situation. Most everything is digital these days and tracking information is child’s play.”
The hairs on my arms stand on end because I’m beginning to understand where he’s going.
“You researched me?” That spot above my eye begins to twitch in annoyance.
“Blade did. He’s our main intel guy.” He watches my face for a reaction. “So I know all about what happened in Texas. I know you still have time to serve and there’s an active directive to apprehend you.”
Unconsciously, my eyes dart to my duffel bag near the door.
“Don’t even think about it,” Jaxon says already anticipating my response. “Running will only make everything worse.”
“I won’t go back to detention.” He nods as if he knew I’d say that.
“I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you don’t even have to step foot back in Texas to resolve this issue.”
“You have dirty cops in your pocket? I mean my PO was pretty cool, but his boss is something else.”
“We’re the good guys, Lawson. I don’t have anyone in my pocket, but we’re well known and have a lot of connections.”
There isn’t a hint of malice or threat in his voice. He’s going to what? Take care of my situation the legal way? That never works, but when I look at him and see the confidence in his eyes, I can’t help but wonder if it’s a possibility. I knew Texas would come after me eventually, I’d just hoped I could run long enough for Drew to be grown before my past caught up with me.
“Tell me what happened,” Jaxon urges.
“Don’t you already know?” I can’t help the anger that rushes out. I may take his offer to help me get out of this, but I don’t have to spill my guts about what went down.
“I’ve been given the summarized version, but I want the truth from you. I’m well aware the police reports are swayed by opinions and personal bias.”
I fold my arms over my chest, keeping my lips tight.
“Okay,” he says with a nod. “Some other time.”
“What do you want me to do?” I ask, hating that I even have to.
“What do you mean?”
“To stay here? What do I need to do to earn my keep?”
“You work, go to school, and finish whatever obligation you have to probation. After that, we can go from there.”
“I’m not going to school. It’s a waste of time.”
He smirks, but not in a way I feel like he’s going to give me pushback.
“GED?” he offers.
“I can do that,” I compromise and don’t feel as angry about giving in part way as I should be. “And Drew?”
“What about him?” Jaxon stands from the bunk bed and walks across the room toward the door.
“I do that, and he’s safe?”
Jaxon shakes his head. “He’s safe whether you hold up your end of the bargain or not.”
“No strings?”
“None,” he says twisting the doorknob. His back is to me, but he doesn’t make to leave. “I’m glad you’re here, Lawson.”
His words take some of the sting out, but it doesn’t fix a damn thing. Drew may be able to blame our mom for everything, but I can’t help but place some of that on Jaxon’s shoulders as well. He didn’t love my mother the way she deserved. He used her and tossed her away. It’s something I’ll never be able to forgive him for.
Chapter 10
Delilah
“What’s he like?” Gigi asks as she looks down at her bikini top. Finding that it’s revealing enough, she turns her eyes to me.
I shrug. “I don’t really know. We haven’t talked much.”
Other than grunts and thigh clenching growling when I walk by, Lawson hasn’t said a word to me in the last week. It’s like we coexist without any actual interaction.
“Really?” She looks across the pool at him. Sitting with Drew on the edge, Lawson swishes his feet through the water. “He seems like he has a lot to say.”
“Not to me,” I mutter.
I’d imagined how my life was going to be after the first twenty-four hours, and how it actually ended up is nothing like I thought. I’d prepared myself for sexual harassment, and sickly find myself disappointed that he hasn’t continued what he’d started the first night he was here. If he didn’t watch me, lick his lips when I walk by, and groan when I reach for stuff in the top cabinet, I’d question if he even knew I existed.
“Does he talk to Sam?”
I shake my head. “Drew is pretty personable, but Lawson has kept to himself. I’m surprised he’s actually out here this afternoon.”
“I’m not complaining,” Gigi says with a small wave of her fingers in his direction when he looks over at us. “He’s got a body most boys would die for.”
Ivy snorts. “There is nothing boy about him.”
I laugh, remembering that he told me the same thing not long ago.
“They seem to be settling in fine,” I say to change the subject from his muscular arms and ridged stomach.
Why can’t he and Drew look alike? I can handle his younger brother’s gangly frame, but knowing now what’s under his clothes is its own type of torture.
“Is he a senior this year also?” Ivy asks as she adjusts her eReader on her lap.
“No clue. I was serious when I said we haven’t talked.” I steal a glance in his direction finding his eyes burning in my direction. His hands run up and down his thighs, and I can feel the echo of his touch on my own skin. I should’ve opted for a one piece.
“I’m sure your dad would know.” She stares, unabashedly in his direction. “All you have to do is ask.”
“I’m not that interested,” I say, making Gigi laugh.
“Yeah, okay.” The corner of her mouth tugs up. “Hot guy living in your house and you’re not interested. Lie to someone who doesn’t know any better.”
“Not everyone is a walking sex fiend,” Ivy says in my defense.
“Yes,” she says pulling her eyes from Lawson. “They are.”
Ivy shakes her head in disbelief.
“Seriously, everyone between the ages of thirteen and thirty thinks about sex constantly. It’s a statistical fact.”
Ivy and I both laugh before Ivy mumbles, “Like you know anything about statistics.”
“Hey, Lawson.”
My eyes dart to the entrance leading into the pool. My dad is standing there looking at the guys.
“We have an hour before we have to take off.”
Lawson nods, but the look on his face isn’t as tight as it was days ago. It seems my dad and he have settled into some sort of truce.
“Why is your dad dressed up?” Ivy whispers as he turns around and leaves the pool.
“I wouldn’t consider a polo shirt and nice jeans dressed up,” Gigi says. “But he’s fine as hell.”
“Gross,” I grumble. “That’s my Dad.”
“Who’s a total DILF,” Gigi continues. “My dream guy looks exactly like him.”
I watch as her eyes track Lawson as he stands from the edge of the pool. Leaning over, he whispers something in his brother’s ear. I try to swallow past the lump in my throat at the sight of the sun reflecting on his glistening skin.
“I wish you wouldn’t say stuff like that about my father,” I say ducking my head as Lawson rounds the pool.
“He can’t seem to get enough,” Gigi says absently, but she must not be able to tell that even though she’s on full display in a bikini her dad would never approve of, Lawson isn’t looking at her.
His admiring eyes run the length of my body, hand adjusting his package as he walks past.
“Bye,” Gigi says with a tone she seems to catch tons of boys with. “Always great seeing you.”
As hard as it is, I pull my eyes from his body, refusing to watch him walk away. When I look across the pool, I find Drew looking over at us with a wide smile on his lips. He shakes his head and slides off of the edge of the pool into the cool water. The look Drew just gave us makes me wonder what Lawson told him before his epic exit.
“Where are they going?” Ivy asks as Lawson closes the door to the indoor pool.
“No clue,” I answer.
“I think I need to stay the night tonight,” Gigi says almost absently. “I don’t mind digging deeper as far as Lawson is concerned.”
I roll my eyes. Gigi never wants to stay unless it’s because she thinks she can sneak out of my house easier than her own.
“Speaking of staying the night, Rachel texted yesterday and asked if the party was going to be a sleepover this year.”
Ivy snorts and Gigi looks put out. Rachel Grant is the only girl in school she sees as competition. They both like the boys that will undoubtedly break their hearts. They go in with eyes wide open but act surprised when they put out and then are told to get out, each one thinking they’ll be able to tame the bad boys they manage to cage for the night.
“Why would she ask you that?” Gigi practically spits. “You’re not friends with her are you?”
“Not really,” I answer.
“Then why?” Ivy is confused as well.
“Samson?” Gigi asks.
I shake my head. Samson’s obsession with the blonde bombshell isn’t even close to being secret. “I doubt it. Much to his disbelief, I don’t think the girl really knows he exists.”
Gigi narrows her eyes. “Has she seen Lawson? Does she know he’s living here?”
“Ohhh,” Ivy responds dragging the word out.
“I know Sam came home the other day excited like a little Chihuahua. He ran into her at the store, invited her, and she said yes.”
“Was Lawson with them?”
I shrug again. “No clue. Maybe?”
“It’s the only reason.”
“That’s not true. She came last year,” I argue.
“That’s because she found out it was in the clubhouse. She was here for Cerberus, not Samson,” Ivy says.
“Exactly,” Gigi says pointing at her twin.
“Cerberus wasn’t even in town that night,” I counter.
“She didn’t know that, but didn’t sh
e leave after like twenty minutes?” Gigi searches my face for the answer.
“Come to think of it, she did. Samson was devastated.” Pissed was more like it. I think he punched a hole in the wall that my dads made him patch the next day.
“She’s going to go after Lawson. I just know it.” Gigi sits back with a huff and crosses her arms over her chest. “That bitch.”
The realization makes my skin crawl. I’ve never been attracted to anyone Rachel would consider hooking up with, but the thought of her coming onto Lawson makes me territorial.
“RBF much?” Gigi asks with a stupid grin.
“Huh?” I turn my head toward her.
“Just the mention of Rachel and Lawson and your claws are ready to come out.”
“No.” I do my best to relax. My resting bitch face is usually enough to deter anyone, but Gigi calls me out on it every time it shows up.
“You know I hate to agree with Gigi,” Ivy says. “But I could feel the tension rolling off of you, and I’m two feet away.”
“I just don’t want Samson to be hurt. We all know he likes her, yet he’s invisible to her.” I hope they buy what I’m selling, but it doesn’t sound convincing even to my own ears.
“Samson deserves better,” Ivy agrees.
“You can’t tell him that though.” I frown in Sam’s direction as he tries to teach Drew how to do a backflip off the diving board without belly-flopping into the water.
“Kids,” Gigi says with a soft voice like she’s older than my brother. “They have to get burned a couple times before they learn.”
Ivy and I shake our heads as Gigi slides her sunglasses down over her eyes and lies back on the lounger.
“You about ready to go?” My dad stands in front of us, blocking the sun.
“Hey, Pop,” I say looking up at my dad. “Where are we going?”
He shakes his head, his beard full enough to almost hide his soft smile. “I thought you wanted to do the shopping for the party.”
I sit up on my lounger. “Of course I do.”
“Might as well knock it out today.” I nod, excited to get away from the house. “You gals won’t be able to decorate the clubhouse until the morning of. I don’t want the guys to have to live in a teenage hell, or worse, ruin what you decorate.”
