by Beth Wiseman
18
KADE'S RETURN TO HIS OLD LIFE LOOMED OVER HIM like a dark cloud, and in a mere two hours, he’d be home, back to a world filled with shrewd business deals, high-powered luncheons, and enough vanity to choke on. And beautiful women—lots of beautiful ladies interested in a place on Kade’s arm—all with the same selfish pursuits of furthering their own social status. Then, of course, there was Val.
The captain’s voice sounded through the plane, something about arriving in Los Angeles early, but Kade’s mind was elsewhere. He thought about Monica and how her life was cut tragically short. He reached over and stroked Tyler’s head while he slept, knowing that change was not easy for his son. I wonder if Penelope knows how to make tapioca pudding.
The flight attendant stopped her cart in the aisle. “Cocktail, sir?”
Kade shook his head.
He constantly thought about Sadie and how much he missed her—the sound of her laughter, her loving ways with Tyler, and, of course, their hugs at the end of the evenings. And even the firm way that she kept Kade in line. He recalled the way he’d almost lost his cool about Val, but Sadie warned him with her eyes when unsuitable language threatened to spew from his mouth. And she’d always kept a safe distance from Kade, even though Kade often saw the longing in her expression to do otherwise. He smiled as he thought about the way she’d scolded him about his dismissive hand gestures, a habit Kade had just about kicked. Memories of her calmed him, but also tormented him. Sadie could never be his, and that badgered his heart unmercifully, testing his resolve to quiet his troubled spirit.
Kade rested his head against the back of his seat, closed his eyes, and pretended he was back with Sadie in the middle of the blizzard, back in the warmth of her company. There was no sex. No false promises. No pretending. No lies. Just Sadie being herself—honest and pure, loving and kind.
Now he was homeward bound and feeling more destitute than he’d ever felt, with each passing mile putting more distance between the place and the people he’d grown to love.
But knowing he’d go back for Jonas and Lizzie’s wedding gave him a tiny bit of comfort, and he wondered if Sadie would be back for the wedding, and if she’d have Milo with her.
Sadie kept hearing the words pounding in her head. “Your farm has been sold. We can travel to Lancaster County and collect your things soon.”
Milo hadn’t formally asked her to marry him. It was an assumption, and Sadie hadn’t done anything to dispel or confirm it. They spent time together, and Sadie had laughed and carried on as a young girl during courtship. But Kade and Tyler were always in the back of her mind. She knew it would be a sin to marry Milo when her heart belonged to another man. But now her farm was gone.
Sadie waited until Martha and John traveled to a neighbor’s house for supper, declining the invitation because of a terrible headache. She made her way to the barn and prayed silently that someone at Lillian’s house would hear the phone ringing in the barn. She’d never needed a friendly voice more than now. But when there was no answer, she dialed the number to Jonas and Sarah Jane’s house.
The phone rang six times, and Sadie was about to hang up when the ringing stopped. She heard a raspy voice say hello.
“Jonas, is that you?” she said. “Jonas?”
“Who be callin’, please?”
“Jonas, it’s Sadie!”
“Sadie, it’s wunderbaar gut to hear your voice. How are you, my child?”
And that was all it took. She yielded to compulsive sobs.
“Sadie?” His voice was comforting, compassionate. “Tell me your troubles, dear Sadie.”
“My farm is sold,” she babbled while wiping her eyes.
“Ya, it is. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Yes,” she lied softly. “I’ll be coming to collect my things soon.”
She heard a sigh on the other end of the line. “So, you will be staying to make a life with Milo in Texas?”
“Ya.” She bit her lip.
“And this makes Sadie cry?”
“Ach, I’m being silly.” She sniffled, dabbed at her eyes. “Milo is a wonderful man, and he’ll make a fine home for me here in Texas. I’ll be traveling back by bus in two days. I reckon I’m homesick, and it will be gut to see everyone, especially Lillian and you.”
“We all miss ya, Sadie. But we want you to be happy. A gut girl like you deserves to be happy.” He paused. “Are you happy, Sadie?”
“Ya,” she said as convincingly as she could. “Milo is wonderful. He’ll make a fine home for me here in Texas.”
“Ya, ya. You just said that.” Jonas paused again. “Are you in lieb with him, Sadie?”
She couldn’t lie to Jonas, but she couldn’t quite tell him the truth either. “He’s a fine man. It’s all happening so fast, I reckon.”
“Sadie . . .” She could hear Jonas inhale deeply on the end of the line. He took his time releasing the breath. “We can’t force God’s will or try to guess what His plan is for us. It is important that you not let your own wants and needs block out His voice. Listen to Him, Sadie.”
Sadie sighed. “I know you’re right, Jonas.” What a wonderful bishop Jonas would have been. So wise and kind. But Sadie knew Jonas lacked the harsh discipline to enforce the rules, as was expected by the bishop. His heart, though, was always in the right place. She was glad he answered the phone today.
Silence stretched the distance between them, and she waited for Jonas to speak. “I have news, Sadie.”
“About Kade and Tyler?” she asked.
“Uh, no. ’Tis ’bout me and Lizzie.”
“Oh.”
“Ain’t no need to sound so disappointed. My news might shed some light on Kade and Tyler as well. I’ve asked Lizzie to marry me.”
“Ach, Jonas! That’s so gut, so very gut. Lizzie is a fine woman, but . . .” How did this shed any light on Kade and Tyler?
“I know you’re coming home in a couple of days, but I’m sure hoping you’ll somehow be able to be at my wedding. It’ll be a few weeks from now. The twentieth of April is when I’ll take Lizzie as mei fraa, and we’d be mighty glad if you could be here. But I understand if that’s too much traveling too close together.”
“That is a lot of traveling. Texas is a long way from Lancaster County.” Her heart was breaking. “But I want so very much to be there, Jonas.”
“Kade and the boy will be here to see me and Lizzie wed.” Jonas tempted her with his tone.
“I’m surprised,” she said. “I mean, I received a letter from Lillian telling me that the two of you had become friends, but—”
“He’s a fine man.”
“Ya,” she said softly. “How is Lillian and everyone else?” She clamped her mouth tight and fought the tremor in her voice as she wiped another tear from her cheek.
“My Lilly is doin’ fine.” He paused for several long moments. “Come home, Sadie,” Jonas finally said. “Just come home.”
Penelope was standing in the front yard when the cab rounded the circular drive in front of Kade’s house. And so was Val.
Kade sighed from the backseat. Tyler had been restless, fussy, and downright mean during the taxi ride from the airport to Kade’s home in Los Angeles, trying twice to bite Kade. But Kade knew Tyler was rattled by the plane flight, change in schedule, and new surroundings. His son needed stability, and the day had been void of a normal routine.
Kade was exhausted, stressed, and not in the mood to face Val.
“Welcome home,” Val said when Kade stepped out of the cab with Tyler.
Ignoring Val’s extended hand, Kade reached in his pocket for his wallet and handed the driver a hundred-dollar bill. “I’m really sorry about the ride.”
“No problem.” The driver accepted the generous tip, but Kade saw him roll his eyes.
“How big he is!” Penelope rushed to Tyler. “Hello, Tyler.”
Tyler’s eyes grew wide and fearful. “Hug,” he said to Kade. Tyler wrapped his arms around Kade’s legs,
and that one small gesture made up for the entire day. Kade scooped Tyler into his arms. “He’s had a hard day. Hello, Penelope.” He hugged his longtime housekeeper as he balanced Tyler on one hip.
“So good to have you both home,” she said.
Kade took a deep breath and extended his hand to Val. “Hello, Val.” He set Tyler down beside him and grabbed their suitcase. “I need to get Tyler something to eat and introduce him to his new surroundings.”
Val followed a few steps behind. “Penelope found a school for Tyler, but he would have to live there most of the time. It’s the best school for autistic children in the area, and—”
“Tyler will be living here with me.” The thought of anything else caused Kade’s stomach to churn.
“I’ve prepared your favorite meal, Mr. Saunders. I’ve made ratatouille.”
Kade recalled the eggplant casserole with tomatoes, zucchini, and onions. It was one of Penelope’s specialties. As they all continued up the walkway to the front double doors, he said, “That sounds fine, Penelope.” Then he turned toward her as she walked alongside him. “But feel free to tone things down in the future. Even meat loaf and stew would be fine with me.” He thought about the fabulously simple meals Sadie prepared for him.
“Oh, and Penelope—” Kade walked ahead of her and through the front door with Tyler. “Call me Kade from now on.”
He glanced over his shoulder in time to see Penelope give Val a confused look. Kade didn’t comment. He motioned Tyler ahead of him on the spacious, tiled entryway—an entryway as big as Sadie’s entire den. It felt unusually cold and distant here now.
“Tyler, this is your new home.” Kade watched his son eye the massive room ahead of them. And then Kade began to examine the room himself, making a mental note of all the things that had to go, things that could hurt Tyler—like the abstract sculpture atop a marble stand to the side of the fireplace. Spiked, fluted spurs extended from a solid bronze base and shimmied aimlessly into the air about three feet. Once considered his most prized possession, he now regarded his first piece of fine art as a danger for his son. If Tyler pulled on the marble base, and the sculpture were to fall with all those spikes . . .
Kade surveyed the rest of his house. More sculptures, exotic finds, rare collections, priceless vases, glass tabletops with sharp edges, and the list went on.
“Penelope, we are going to make some major changes around here. There are many things in this house that can hurt Tyler. I want to start selling some of these items, tone things down a bit, provide a simpler atmosphere, one safer for my son. No sharp edges, dangerous sculptures . . .” Kade pointed to the sculpture a few feet ahead of them. “Objects like that.”
“Yes, Mr.—I mean, Kade.”
Mr. Saunders may have been the man who left three months ago, but Kade was the man who came back. He didn’t want to remember the person he used to be. “Penelope, I have some issues to discuss with Val. Would you take Tyler into the kitchen and get him something to eat? If you have any problems, call for me.” He paused. “Do we have any pudding?”
“No, Mr. Saunders.” Penelope blinked her eyes closed, then opened them. “No, Kade.”
“Tyler loves tapioca pudding. Maybe you could make him some soon. But for now, he seems to like bread with peanut butter, and maybe some cheese spread on it. Do we have anything like that?” Without waiting for an answer, Kade said, “Nothing that requires a fork, only a spoon. He likes mashed potatoes also.”
“Yes, Kade.” Penelope held her hand out to Tyler. “Come with me, Tyler.”
“Oh, he doesn’t like to be touched,” Kade said. “I mean, not unless he asks for a hug. And that lunch box he’s carrying, he takes that everywhere. I have a list of his likes and dislikes, Penelope, that I can go over with you later. But no worries. Tyler will be spending most of his time with me.”
“What?” Val asked.
“Tyler, go with Ms. Penelope, and I’ll see you in a minute.”
“Tyler go with Ms. Penelope,” Tyler repeated.
“He knows my name.” Penelope sounded proud as she guided Tyler toward the kitchen.
Kade waited until they were out of the room before he turned to Val and wasted no time getting to the point. “I’m sorry for your loss, Val. About Monica. She was a fine woman, and of course, she’s Tyler’s mother. So my grief and sympathy span several levels.” He paused to see Val’s jaw drop. Clearly, his friend was expecting a verbal lashing. And a couple of months ago, that’s what Kade would have done. “My preference would have been for you to trust our friendship enough to tell me that you were seeing her, but what’s done is done. Moving on, though, I know you have stock in Saunders Real Estate and Development, and a vested interest since your company has done several deals with us. So, I want you to know that I am addressing the board tomorrow, resigning as CEO, and putting my shares up for sale.” Kade fused his eyes intently with Val’s. “I’ll trust you to keep this information confidential until I speak with the board tomorrow.”
Val nodded, and his jaw dropped even further.
“I’m stepping out of the rat race, Val. I want to spend time with Tyler.” Kade began sorting through the pile of mail on the counter at the bar.
“May I?” Val asked. He rounded the corner of the wet bar and helped himself to a glass. “I think I need a drink.” He paused, narrowed his eyes at Kade. “Don’t you need a drink? Scotch?”
Kade realized he hadn’t had a cocktail since he’d been gone. “No, thanks. But help yourself.”
“What happened to you in Lancaster County?” Val filled the small glass and took a giant swig.
“My priorities have changed, that’s all.”
“I’ll say.” Val chugged the drink. “Kade, about Monica . . . I was going to tell you.”
“It doesn’t matter at this point, does it?”
“I suppose not.” Val walked around the bar to where Kade was standing. “Your father started Saunders Real Estate and Development, Kade. How can you give it all up?”
Kade looked up at him. “Just doesn’t seem important anymore.” He motioned around the room. “None of this seems important.”
Val shook his head. “Kade, I can understand you wanting to be a good father to Tyler, but I hate to see you start making rash decisions because you’ve spent a few months with the Amish. What? They brainwash you or something?” Val grinned.
“Yes. That’s it, Val. They brainwashed me.” Kade rolled his eyes. “If you don’t mind, Val, I want to check on Tyler, and I have mounds of mail to go through. I have a lot of lifestyle adjustments to make.” He extended his hand to Val. “No hard feelings.”
Val was slow to grasp Kade’s hand. “I’m glad about that, Kade.”
When Val was out the door, Kade headed to the kitchen to spend some time with his son. He wanted to show Tyler around the place and start making the changes he knew were necessary to accommodate Tyler’s needs
Sadie and Milo sat quietly at the train station, tickets in hand. As planned, they would travel to Lancaster County, where a moving van would meet them at Sadie’s farm, or the farm that used to be hers. Her things would be loaded and hauled to Texas. She sat thinking out how this had gone from a visit to a full-blown move so fast, and with a wedding planned for November. She hadn’t argued against any of it, going along with each of Milo’s suggestions. It was, after all, her chance at happiness.
However, waves of panic surged through her, threatening to suffocate her. She tugged on the neckline of her dress and endured stares from the Englischers. She’d never felt more on edge. She was overcome by an urge to run, and she knew if she didn’t speak up now, it would be too late.
“Milo,” she said softly.
He reached over and grabbed her hand. “Ya?” His profile was strong and rigid, his blue eyes kind, but questioning. A muscle flicked in his jaw, as if the expression on her face brought forth worry.
What a wonderful man, she thought. What a wonderful father he would make. Indeed, he was
everything she asked God to provide for her. She inhaled a deep breath and blew it out slowly.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she finally said.
19
SADIE WALKED ACROSS HER YARD, NO LONGER COVERED in snow like when she left. She stumbled up the porch steps, toting the cumbersome suitcase, and walked into her den. Actually, Lester Lapp’s den. She set the luggage down and looked around. Her first order of business would be to visit with Lester and see about buying the farm back. Lester was a kind man, and Sadie felt sure he wouldn’t hesitate to sell back the property that had been in Sadie’s family for generations. She tried to shake the forlorn expression on Milo’s face when she explained that she wouldn’t be moving to Stephenville.
She’d been home about fifteen minutes when she heard a buggy coming up the driveway.
“Lillian!” Sadie yelled as she ran down the porch steps. “I missed you so much,” she said when Lillian got out of the buggy. “We all missed you too.”
Sadie could barely get her arms around Lillian. She pulled back from the hug and said, “You are huge.”
Lillian groaned. She took hold of Sadie’s arm and motioned toward the porch. Then her friend lowered herself onto one of the rockers. “I know. The doctor said it should be any day. And I’m miserable.” Then she smiled. “But I sure am glad you’re home. I have to admit, I wasn’t all that surprised when you left word that you were coming back—alone—to stay.”
“Why do you say that?” Sadie wondered if Lillian knew her secret.
Lillian shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because this is your home. Or maybe because I wasn’t sure Milo was the right one.”
“But you only met him briefly before I left for Texas. How could you possibly suspect that he wasn’t the one for me?”
Again, Lillian shrugged. “You didn’t have that look. You know. The look a person has when she is in lieb.”
“I wasn’t in love with Milo, but I guess I thought I could be. His family was so wonderful, Lillian, and you should have seen the look on his face when I told him I would be traveling alone and not returning to Texas.” She shook her head. “In so many ways, he was perfect. I hope I haven’t made a baremlich mistake.”
