by Tracy Lee
Personal Experiences
By Tracy Lee
Published by: Tracy Lee
Copyright © Aug 24,2013 by Tracy Lee.
Cover Art Design: Sprinkles On Top Studios
Cover Art Illustrations: Sprinkles On Top Studios
Format/Page building/Print Conversion: Princess SO /
Beastie BOOKS
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or locales is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical without the express written permission of the author. The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're selling this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to company from which it was obtained from and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
The unauthorized reproduction of or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright, infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in Federal prison and a fine of up to $250,000.
Warning
This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. And are intended for sale to adults ONLY, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.
* * *
Please be advised as part of this story the main character endured spousal abuse before escaping and setting off into a new life and grows to overcomes her past. Some scenes contain some graphic, dark scenes that are not for the light-hearted. Readers discretion advised.
(Contains: Adult language, sexual MF participation, some violence and explicit scenes of arousal).
Acknowledgments
I just have to take a moment and thank everyone that has contributed something, whether it be reading and editing my crappy commas or if it was the 6:30 am phone call when I had an idea and needed someone to run it by. (I bow with my hand over my chest) Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
To my husband and our children…all 6 of them who have eaten shitty dinners and walked around a "lived in" home until this book was complete. You know mommy's not a good multi-tasker. I love you all bigger than the sky!
To my Trina-Bean…if it wasn't for your words of encouragement and your slight of hand on my ass keeping me full steam ahead, I don't even think I would've ever published this. Keep up the "get it done!" for the next one.
To my Kay-Kay…I swear to god, I will never call it a restroom again! Heheh. I love you with all my heart and since I've known you since we were kids you have earned the right to be that judgmental Bitch that you are when it comes to my work. You hold my heart!
To my Rachel (AKA Nikki) to my Lilly (AKA Jeni) - Thank you both for giving me the friendship of a lifetime! The memories that I have made with the two of you demand to be lived in for eternity. From the cruising back and forth between mud holes and Regency in the Blue t-bird scaring the shit outta each other with the beginning of Ozzy singing "Crazy Train" to sitting at the house playing Asshole and drinking Jim Beam and Mt. Dew (still my favorite!). I feel blessed that I was able to have something so special not just with one of you but with both of you! You both make my soul complete! Love you girls! Nik, no matter how far apart we are or how young we turn (we're so not that age) you're always my sister from another mister, there will always be thoughts of us in the mustang with "horny toad" "Night at the Roxbury" dancing and C and C Music Factory on the tape player! Hehehe. And we always have McDill and Germany! My years with you attached at the hip were tragically too short; I wish we had a lifetime of being teenagers. Your encouragement and love when I thought I sucked at something showed me that I can do anything I wanted to. Jen, Your faithfulness and dependability as a friend is never ending. Never have I met another soul that would be so loyal. May you and your beautiful angels be richly blessed with infinite amounts of love, joy and prosperity for all you have given of yourself. I also some of the greatest memories of all time that have been provided by you; my eighteenth birthday party for one! Muddin' and ALWAYS remember never to use a Jim Beam bottle to try and hurt a burglar. Hahaha! "There's always ghosts in the sofer"
To my Trevor…you will always be the greatest regret I can't take back…your "I told you so" would be music to my ears! Glad you found your happiness.
I need to give a great big hug to Amy Hutchins for all her great advice, encouragement and support. I still owe you a beer, girl!
A HUGE Thank you to Sarah at Sprinkles On Top Studios for putting my kickass cover together; you did an amazing job and I greatly appreciate it!
A Tremendous Thank You to my beta readers; Amy, Jennifer, Rebekkah, Marion!! Love you guys! You're amazing and I'm thrilled you were the ones who got to experience "my first time" along with me. I look forward to many more years AND BOOKS with ya'll.
AND TO ALL MY READERS!
You are the ones who make this worthwhile. To allow me to touch your lives with what is rambling around in my head overwhelms me, heart and soul! I feel so blessed to have you believe in me!
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my children who are the rulers of my universe!
May you find all the joys that this life has to offer; May you avoid a great deal of the misery life attempts to envelop us in. May you find the one that gives you breath and treats you as though you are theirs' as well. May you always have unrelenting strength to hold yourselves up higher than the rest; to be what you have been made to be.
Kyleigh, Kolton, Katheryn and Kenna'D;
Mommy loves you as much as the sky and always remember: they can have your blood, they can have your sweat but never let them have your tears!
Table of Content
Cover
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Epilogue
The End
About This Author
Prologue
May 1979
Recess was always my favorite part of the day when school was in session
that is; spring made it even better. The coolness from winter was still in the Georgia air but you could feel the spit of warmth summer was sprinkling on you as it forced its way closer, which made it just the right time for a good game of tag. The game was always boys against the girls in our little group and it always seemed that the boys were always chasing the girls, it never was the other way around. Having two best friends didn't seem weird to me at all, although, some people would swear that only one could be your bestest friend, in our instance that was not the case. It was always Lilly, Rachel and me; Elleny, Elle for short. There was no jealousy between us; we were more like sisters then best friends. Growing up in a small town where you lived either in the same neighborhood or within walking distance made it so that we were close… sisters close. The boys, now that was a different story.
"Stop pulling my braid, TJ!" I shouted at the top of my lungs while I pouted knowing I was out of the game. Rachel yelled as she touched the back of TJ's shirt. "Tagged him back for ya, Ellie!" I ran over to the sand sideline that bordered what used to be the old high school soccer field, while TJ squatted down catching his breath. "Once this game is over we're playin' telephone. Bear, you'd better tag Rach or else I'm gonna tell'er how much you loooovvvvvveeeeee her." TJ said antagonizing him. "I'mma gunna get her." Bear said through gasping breaths. He got close enough to grab the bottom of Rachel's dress; "Hey!!!" Rachel screeched as she came to a complete stop in front of Bear. She raised her index finger right up to the tip of his nose and waved it from side to side, "No fair, you're not being very nice grabbin' at a lady's dress like that, Bear!" He took a step back to see all of Rachel, instead of just her finger then replied, in his most southern gentlemen accent a second grader could fake; "Awwwhhh, come on Rach, I didn't mean a theeng by it at all…promise".
I was sitting in the sand listening to them bicker while picking up the handfuls of grit and letting it run through my fingers. I needed to decide on what phrase to use for our first game of telephone. Hearing Lilly shriek in that high pitched scream that was above any normal octave on the human range and the scream only dogs could hear; made me jerk back to reality as she came to a landing right next to me. "Ewwhhh, if Curtis Noland touches me one more time, there won't be enough medicine in my next cootie shot to make him go away… yuck!" Curtis dropped down beside her. His eyebrows were raised, his eyes were as big as small planets and his face was covered in obsession; awwwwhhhhh, second grade love. He smiled "wanna play house, Lilly?" Lilly's contorted face turned and looked right at Curtis. Seeing all that boy's emotions right there in his bulging eyes as if he was in a trance, she grabbed both fists full of sand and threw them right in Curtis' face. Quickly, she jumped to her feet and ran as fast as she could go in the direction of our teacher; Ms. Wilde. Wiping the miniscule grit from his face, the expression never changed; even his smile, he blew and spit the sand from his mouth, stood up and continued chasing her in the same direction she was heading in.
My eyes focused back on the field where our game of tag had obviously come to an end, seeing as how Rachel was skipping her way towards me with a wide grin on her face as she repeated "I tagged him, I tagged him" in a nanny-nanny boo-boo tune, just then she turned and screamed at Lilly to come back over to where I was sitting and all six of us second graders sat in a perfect circle, Indian style with hands in our laps. "I'm going first!" I declared to the circle, as I got up on my knees and leaned into Rachel to whisper my secret like it was a plot to overthrow the government.
One by one, each of the others discovered my secret. While smiles on each face got bigger and bigger, the secret continued around. Reaching the last person; Curtis yelled out "I have a behind and I think it's funny!" Everyone in the group laughed and looked at each other; pointing, trying to figure out where and who changed what words and why. TJ looked at me and noticed I was the only one not laughing; my eyes were wide and my lips were tight with just a little shake. I felt like I didn't know whether to cry or scream. At that precise moment is when I lost it. I screamed at the top of my lungs "That is NOT what I said! I said bees live in hives and I like to eat honey! I don't understand what is so funny about I have a behind and I think it is funny, it makes no sense!"
We are from the south, people! We ladies are southern belles with southern charm. We fan ourselves, so as not to drip one drop of sweat onto our beautiful bosoms, even though we have to wear four hundred pounds of girdle and dress. Oh, and don't forget about the men; they are gentlemen. They sit on their front porch in their white suit pants, long-sleeve pinstriped, tailored shirt and pastel colored bow tie; with a sweet tea on their knee as they bask in the hot Georgia sun.
My daddy taught me that.
TJ suppressed his laughter and spun around to Curtis and whispered low in his ear. Curtis' eyes got big and his smile grew wide, as he echoed to Lilly what TJ had said. Lilly's eyes grew even wider as she was repeated the phrase to Bear. As the classified information made its way around the circle, my anticipation grew, what could create this outcome on everyone's face? Eyes bulged out of heads as though they were about to explode. As the anticipation grew, Rachel closed in on my ear to whisper the secret that had everyone stunned and giggling incessantly. I listened as though my life depended on this information. It took a second, but then it hit me what I heard. What tidbit of information had passed around this circle of my closest friends. Arching my shoulders up, as the rest of my body tightened I screeched "I am not saying that, Trevor!"
"Yes you are! Those are the rules and don't call me Trevor!"
"No…I am NOT!!!"
I noticed TJ had moved up to his knees and was leaning across the circle at me "YES… YOU… ARE!!!" he hissed.
Looking through deadly eyes, I could feel my anger growing, finally knowing I was going to have to repeat this horrid secret I murmured "When I grow up I'm gonna marry Trevor Jordan McHale." At this announcement, the whole circle erupted in laughter and started chanting "Ellie and TJ sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. " I, in a bluster got up to leave the group when Bear stood with me and informed the whole group "that's ok Ellie, I'mma gonna be a' marryin Rachel Elizabeth Locke." He leaned in quickly, planting his lips on Rachel's cheek. Disgusted, Rachel got up and ran away singing "circle…circle…dot…dot; now I've got my cooties shot."
As Lilly, Rachel and I were dashing towards the swings; Ms. Wilde blew the whistle and hollered for her second grade class. We embarked on what seemed like a long trek for us, but really the building was just on the other side of the field. TJ ran by us and upheld his stance; "Oh…it'll happen Elleny Jean Barker, I can promise you that."
"Not in a gazillion years, TJ! I won't marry you, tha…that's just gross!!"
"Then I guess I'm never gonna be getting married then."
Chapter One
June 1992
"I can't believe we made it, finally! I thought if Bear stopped one more time for one more thing I was gonna scream."
Rachel informed us as she pulled down the lawn chairs from the back of the truck to hand down to me. Senior skip day had become a yearly tradition for seniors at Richland High. Taking the last Friday of the year off to do whatever you, the senior wanted to do, the six of us decided to make it the whole weekend. Going to the lake, camping, swimming, rolling the trucks in the mud. I may have been a pink princess but I wasn't too good for a mud bog at a local mud hole.
As I stood there in my daisy duke jean shorts, pink tank top and my flashy bikini on underneath, I made sure to get those chairs planted firmly on the water's shore. Alan Jackson's voice was in the background coming from a Ford F-150 Dually's radio singing about being down by the Chattahoochee. I grabbed a long neck of Budweiser and stashed it in the front pocket of my shorts, grabbed Lilly and Rachel's hands and dragged them down to the lake's edge. Stopping abruptly, Rachel, in her sweet Georgia girl accent screeched "Wait, we need more beer then that, once I'm in that chair I aint movin' for nothin."
Coming back up to the camp area, I noticed that there were five coole
rs sitting by the tents that still layed on the ground in the nylon carrying pouch. I looked in the first cooler and saw that it contained all the meat that would be used on the grill for our dinners. I looked in the second one expecting to find beer this time and found that it contained all the snacks and side items to go along with the meats. "Where the fuck is the beer, did the boys drink them all?" I was getting frustrated that we wouldn't find any beer at all when I opened the third one "Aaahaaa, I found it!!" I attempted to pick up the beer cooler myself and found out that it was way heavier than it appeared to be so I asked Lilly to grab the other side of it.
I grabbed one side and handed my beer to Rachel asking her to hold it for me. Looking up from the ground I heard a "swishhhh" of the bottle of beer being opened. I sweetly expressed but yet glared at Rachel "Sweetie, I asked you to hold it, not swipe it."
Laughing a deep laugh she knew what I was saying to her "Keep your panties on there's more in there." Rachel teased, as she sauntered in front of us back down to the water. "Trust me… I know. We stopped at every fuckin' curb store between Richland and here to clean ‘em out of beer. Bear took Bubba's fake ID, and he's gonna be pissed when he goes to use it this weekend, serves ‘em right for not carryin his wallet twenty four, seven."
Bubba is Bear's older brother, he's twenty. They moved here from Louisiana to live with their grandparents so that their pieces of shit momma and daddy could go sell Georgia peaches on the side of every interstate they came in contact with. They turned out to be even shittier parents by naming them Ernest and Willie, so when we met them, we gave them nicknames; Ernest is Bubba and Willie is Bear. We called him Bear because when he was young he liked to give and receive hugs since he wasn't getting any at home. Not anymore though, times had changed, if you valued your life you wouldn't try and hug him. Both Bear and Bubba liked to fight. No one EVER called them by their real names…EVER! No scratch that, one time at a bar, a guy who worked with Bubba thought he'd be a smartass and called him Ernie, which landed him in the hospital and Bubba in jail and jobless.
