“I love you. I should have told you last night.” Chad searched her eyes. He hadn’t meant to start that way, but he couldn’t keep his heart from spilling out of his mouth. Her wary expression pierced his hope. Patience warred with fury, making him grind his teeth. “You can’t deny we made love last night.”
She tried to shift out of his embrace.
Frustrated but determined, Chad pulled her closer, burying his nose in her hair, holding the pleasure of the apple scent in his gut. The warmth of her against him dallied in his heart, determination to win this fight chasing out the doubts.
“Chad…” Robin stumbled over his name. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what, Robbie?” Chad pulled back, grasping her chin, forcing her eyes to his.
“Don’t do this.” Robin bit her lip, lowering her eyes.
“Don’t do what, Robin? Tell you I love you? That I want you as part of my life?”
“I woke up this morning and realized I can’t do this.” Her eyes pleaded with his.
“Can’t do what? Love me?”
She fought his hold until he released her. She stalked to the back door to stare out. Bessie barked at Rover down by the shed. Multiple barks from the puppies followed. The sun slipped over the horizon, shooting pinks and oranges across the sky. The morning light brightened the kitchen, skipping across the tile floor, accentuating the chill of her distance.
“Tell me you don’t love me.” Chad clenched his hands, anticipation of either pain or pleasure pressing him. She turned and took a few steps toward him, her eyes filled with dread.
“I know you love me, Robbie. I felt it in every touch last night. Don’t deny it because I won’t believe you.”
“I won’t deny it.” Robin lifted her chin, but didn’t say the words he needed to hear.
“But?”
Her shoulders straightened and she sucked in a deep breath, leaning against the counter opposite from where he stood, arms cradling her body. “I’ve loved before. I believed in the big white house, a picket fence and a dog fantasy. It left me pregnant and alone. I won’t ever do that again.”
“Do you think I would ever let you down?”
Chad forced himself away from her, pacing the kitchen like an animal trapped in a kennel.
“I don’t think you’d do it on purpose. But time passes, things change, eventually you’ll get tired of me.”
“How do I prove that I’ll stay?” Chad stared at her, wanting to shake some sense into her, instill some belief in who he was and how he felt. “How?”
Robin shrugged, biting her lip. “You can’t. Don’t you see?”
Chad swiped his hand through his hair, then yelled. “No, I don’t see. I love you. I am crazy about your kids. I wouldn’t mind making a few of our own with you. I want you in my life and want to take care of you and your children for the rest of our lives.”
Robin’s face flushed. “My mother left. My father disappeared. My foster father died after making lots of promises for my future. And the girls’ father…” Robin stopped and laughed, sarcasm dripped from her words. “As soon as he found out I was pregnant, he vanished.” She slammed a fist on the counter. “Prove to me that happily-ever-after exists. I have never seen it, never experienced it.”
He couldn’t find words.
She looked at him, challenging. “No. One. Stays.”
“I would.” Tears flood his eyes, pain crushing his chest.
Robin’s mouth firmed. “For how long?”
“For keeps.”
Robin shook her head. “I have two daughters to think about. I can’t afford to believe another person, can’t risk it. Won’t risk it. I have to take care of myself. I’ve learned how the hard way. You make it sound so easy. But happily-ever-after only exists in Cinderella.”
Chad reached for her hand. “Happily-ever-afters don’t just exist. They’re made. They’re worked out, compromised on, sacrificed for. All you have to do is believe. Believe in us. Believe in me.”
Robin pushed his hand away, her voice harsh. “I can’t.”
“Not can’t, Robbie. Won’t.” Chad heard footsteps, seconds before the twins burst into the room.
“Don’t yell, Mommy.” Boo’s two little fist hit Robin in the back.
Robin turned and caught them in her hands. Lindy stood in the doorway with tears running down her cheeks. She launched herself at Chad. He grabbed her pajama-clad figure and lifted her into his arms.
She gripped his face in her two hands. “Stop yelling, Mr. Chad. It’s not nice. You and Mommy aren’t supposed to fight.”
She sent a frantic look Boo’s direction and then looked to his grandmother who stood in the doorway.
Robin stooped to wrap Boo in her embrace.
Boo pushed away and pointed her finger at Robin. “You should tell Mr. Chad you’re sorry, Mommy.”
Olivia shifted in the doorway. “Sorry. They wanted to come back as soon as they woke.”
“It’s okay, Grandma.” His grandmother studied him and for the first time he damned well didn’t care what she saw there.
He was upset. Frustrated. Every breath he took stalled at the pain blocking his throat. The woman he wanted more than his next breath didn’t trust him to make her dreams come true. Her rejection hurt worse than when Gwynne had announced she was marrying his best friend, hurt like every dream he’d ever had was lost to him now. Struggling with his composure, he tightened his hold on Lindy’s soft body.
“You’re right, Lindy. I shouldn’t have yelled at your mom. We were just discussing something.”
“Well discuss nicely, please.” The hopeful look in her eyes made the devastation inside him sink to his toes. He turned his eyes to Robin, but she wouldn’t look at him.
“I’m sorry, Robbie. Maybe we both better think about this.”
“I’m sorry too, but I don’t believe thinking is going to change anything.”
They were at an impasse. She was going to pack up and go back to that little hole in the canyon and he wasn’t going to sleep again with worrying about them.
“I think I should make everyone some breakfast and you two should finish this conversation later when there aren’t so many distractions.” His grandmother raised her eyebrows and pointed at the two little girls.
“Breakfast sounds great, Grandma.” Not that he would be able to choke down anything.
The girls chattered while Olivia cooked and then gobbled down breakfast like there was no tomorrow, oblivious to the way he and Robin eyed each other like gunslingers at the OK Corral. Robin left the table shortly after and he heard the shower turn on. He wanted to slip in there and join her.
“Give her some time.”
His Grandmother’s quiet words had him looking up from his plate. The girls had gotten down from the table and were in the family room watching cartoons.
“I don’t think time is going to fix this.”
“Time fixes everything, honey. You’ll see.”
He let his grandmother fill his cup again. He sipped at the coffee while she cleared the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Lost in despair, he couldn’t find any answers. He sighed, stood and set his cup in the sink. He kissed his grandmother, went to the laundry room and found a shirt and a pair of socks from the dryer. Finished dressing, he jammed on his boots, slipped on his baseball cap and headed for the open market. They were closing it today for the season and he needed to concentrate on something besides Robin until inspiration struck.
Robin worked steadily most of the day to finish the third bedroom. She organized the boxes, deftly labeling each one for contents and destination. Mr. Slade from the Echo Falls Antique Mall had come while the girls were sick and picked out the items he wanted, writing Chad a hefty check. He’d taken many of the collectible items from the dining room and living room on consignment. With Chad’s approval, he was coming tomorrow to pick up everything. Much of the rest was going to the Good Shepherd Church’s rummage sale. There would still be lots of little bits left to clean
up, but she would do that after they’d settled back in at their house. She would work a four-hour shift, three days a week, to match the girls’ preschool schedule, keeping everyone’s contact to a minimum.
She looked longingly at the thimble collection before she resolutely put them in the box for the rummage sale. She didn’t want anything that would remind her of this time. Though she wasn’t likely to forget. The devastation in Chad’s face matched her own broken heart, but the logjam of fear that existed deep inside her trapped the trust like water behind a dam.
Boo and Lindy were subdued too, but she attributed it to still not feeling quite well from the chicken pox. All their boils were scabbed over, but the girls were still lacking in their usual energy. They already loved Chad so much. It was going to be difficult to leave here. Groaning, she sank to the bed and put her head in her hands.
“Whatcha doing?”
She raised her eyes to look in Boo’s little face, pale and scabbed.
“A man is coming today to take a lot of the furniture. I’m getting ready for him. It’s almost the last of what Mr. Chad is paying me to do.”
“Will that pay Mr. Chad back for Lindy breaking the clock?”
“Yep. And we’ll be going home.”
Boo’s expression clouded.
“I know you like it here, but we can’t stay forever.”
“Why, Mommy? Don’t you like Mr. Chad?”
“Yes, I do. But this isn’t our home.”
“But it could be if we asked Mr. Chad nicely.”
“It doesn’t work that way, honey.”
“What doesn’t work that way?” Lindy came through the doorway dragging her blanket behind her.
Robin pulled them both into her arms. “I’m almost finished with the job I signed on to do. It’s time for us to go home and for Mommy to find another job.”
“Nooooo.” Lindy whined. “We can’t.”
Her cries made Robin sick at heart. “I’m sorry. But this was always temporary.”
“But we can’t leave Bessie and Rover and Tic and Tac and the puppies. Mr. Chad needs us. He’s lonely without us.”
More likely they would be lonely without him. Robin sighed. Part of her wanted to believe, to stay, to be with Chad for the rest of her life. She did love him. But she couldn’t stand one more time to see love sink to indifference and then die. When he changed his mind, it would kill her. She knew beyond doubt she’d never recover and that put her girls at risk. She wouldn’t do to them what had been done to her.
“It can’t be helped, girls. We’ll leave in the morning. I’ll need the rest of the day to finish here.”
“Mommy. Noooo.” Lindy whined again. Tears tracked down Boo cheeks.
“I know you’re upset. But we’ll be okay.” Robin held them tightly for a moment, then led them back to the sofa in the living room. She wiped their tears and their noses, tucked the blankets around them and put another video in the DVD. She went to the kitchen and poured apple juice for each girl, then went back to the bedrooms to finish her job.
“Mr. Chad, will you give us a bath?” Lindy asked.
Chad looked up from his empty plate. The hopeful expression in her eyes was balm for his heart. Dinner conversation had been stilted and mostly the girls doing the talking. A break from the tension would be a good thing.
Robin stiffened, pausing in the process of loading the dishwasher. “Lindy! I can help you.”
“Please, Mommy.” Lindy put on what Chad considered her best pouty face.
“Yeah, sure. Go get fresh pajamas.” Chad rubbed her head. Both girls hopped from their chairs and dashed down the hall.
Robin walked to the table and picked up their empty plates. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.” Biting his tongue before he added something he’d be sorry for, he went to the bathroom and started the tub. The girls came in juggling fresh pajamas and the bubble bath.
Chad looked at the two faces shining up at him. He didn’t think his heart could break anymore, but when he looked at these two he couldn’t stand the thought of them growing up without him. They’d need someone to help them with their homework, chase off the boys and teach them to drive. Not that Robbie couldn’t do that. Sometimes, though, a father had a special touch.
“Mommy says we’re going home tomorrow. She’s finished with her jobs.” Boo pulled her shirt over her head and inspected all the marks on her tummy. She poked at a few with the tip of her finger.
Robin did, did she? Nice of her to tell him. Damn it.
“We want to stay here, Mr. Chad.”
Chad tested the water to make sure it wasn’t too hot before he looked at Lindy.
“Pleeeasse?” They both whined.
“Come on. Get in before the water gets cold.” They both stared at him with those big helpless blue eyes and he was a goner. They didn’t badger him. They simply looked at him like he was chocolate ice cream with sprinkles.
Helping both girls into the tub, Chad tried to figure out what to say. He used a cup to dump warm water over both girls and then helped each get her hair wet. Taking the baby shampoo, he squirted some in his hand and proceeded to wash Boo’s hair. No words had come to him by the time he got to Lindy’s hair. Finally finished, he went out to the dryer to get their towels and came back to wrap them up, holding his girls close.
“No matter what happens, I love you both very much. I’m not going to forget about you. When you go home tomorrow, that doesn’t mean I’ll never see you again. I’ll come visit and we’ll see if your mom will let you visit here.”
Boo dropped her head to his shoulder, leaving a wet mark from her hair on his shirt. “Nooo, Mr. Chad. We’re supposed to stay here.”
Lindy shushed her. Boo bit her lip.
Chad puzzled at the two for a moment and then briskly helped them to dry off. He directed the powder, lotion, pajamas, hair and teeth brushing routine and hoped to God this wasn’t the last time he’d get to do this.
“How about a story?”
“Yeah!” They both shoved their towels over the rack.
Chad helped straighten them and followed them to the living room. The enthusiastic response stirred the determination for him to work this out with Robin. While he settled in the recliner, they selected books from the skyscraper stack. There were lights on in the back bedroom and the sounds of Robin rustling around.
He began to read, mulling over what the girls had said. So Robin was finished with her job and they were going home.
No way in hell!
She wasn’t sneaking out of this house without another conversation about her fears and their future.
He was in the process of transferring the sleeping girls from the chair to bed when a soft knock sounded at the back door. Having already moved Lindy, he tiptoed to the first bedroom and tucked Boo in the bed next to her.
A second knock sounded. Chad reached the door and unlocked it. Tom, dressed in his police uniform, waved at him.
Chad stepped aside to let him in the house. “Are you on duty?”
“Yeah. I responded to a burglary call from one of your neighbors.”
Chad went to the half-full coffee pot and reached for a mug. “Who was it?”
“Anderson Farms.”
“Jed and Marla?”
Tom nodded. “Know them well?”
“Yeah, Marla was one of the first people to welcome me when I bought the farm. Jed raises apples and Marla makes blue ribbon apple pie almost better than Grandma’s. They have four teenage sons; two have worked for me.”
“Thought I recognized a couple of them.”
Chad lifted another mug. “Do you want some coffee?”
“Do fish swim?” His brother lowered himself into a chair and rubbed his face. “It’s going to be a long night. This is the fourth burglary call I’ve been on out here since I came on duty. We’ve had a rash of similar burglaries in town, too. They might be connected.” Tom massaged the back of his neck, exhaustion in every move.
Chad handed him his coffee. “You want something to eat? I think there are leftovers from dinner.”
Tom shook his head. “I ate at Grandma’s during my dinner break.”
Chad swallowed a huge gulp of coffee. “You said there were four families. Who are the others?”
“Lancaster, Bradda and Carey.”
“That wouldn’t be the Lancasters two miles down the road that raise the llamas.”
“That’s them.”
“Is the other Carl Bradda? Raises champion heifers that he shows at the fair? Or was it his son, Luke?”
“Luke’s running the ranch now. Old Carl took off.”
Chad frowned. “Didn’t know that. Don’t know the Carey’s.”
“I’m not surprised. It’s the old Drury place. A woman and her teenage son bought that farm a month ago. They’re from Pennsylvania.”
“What was taken?”
“Usual stuff. Televisions, DVD players, stereos, cash, some jewelry. All house burglaries. Nothing bothered in any of the barns.” Tom took a sip of coffee. “You know, it would help if you damned farmers would lock your doors. The Anderson’s were out to a church function and she doesn’t remember locking the door. Same with the Lancasters.”
Chad grinned. “Don’t have much trouble out this way.”
“No excuse. You should check out the place and then make sure you lock up. Have you seen anyone?”
“We haven’t had any traffic to speak off since yesterday. I’m closing the market tomorrow. They wouldn’t come around here anyway. The dogs would chase them off and with the girls sick, we haven’t left the place.”
“Can you ask Robin?”
“Sure.” Chad rose from the chair. If she’d speak to him. She’d been doing a damned fine job of avoiding him. “She’s in the back room working. I’ll get her.”
If Tom noticed his hesitation, he didn’t say anything. Down the hall, Chad entered the doorway to the back room. Robin was placing sheets and tablecloths into a paper bag for the church sale. His heart clenched and he swallowed against the emotion. “Robbie.”
Pumpkins, Cowboys & Guitars Page 16
