by Wanda Edmond
When she got back, Brandon stood up, looking at her with a glance.
“You okay there?” he asked.
“Yeah. Sorry, I had to get a few things from the store. Don’t worry about me though,” she demanded.
“You know, when you say that, it makes me feel a bit like I need to know what’s going on,” he admitted to her.
She looked at him, shaking her head.
“I just have a lot of school stress right now. Don’t’ worry about me,” she admitted.
“Bullshit. You’ve always been stressed about school, but now you’re acting even more different than before. Tell me Jackie, what’s wrong? Is it cause of what we did? Because I thought that you were kind of happy with everything,” he offered.
“I am…it’s just I have a lot going on right now. I’m really sorry about this, but I don’t want to scare you off. I just need a bit of time. And no, bothering me about this is not going to make it any better,” she admitted.
“Jackie!” he stated to her.
She looked at him, shook her head, and walked away. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with his shitty reasoning. She wasn’t’ going to let this damper her, and she was definitely not happy with any of this whatsoever.
“I just need to be alone. I might go see my best friend if that’s what it takes,” she told him.
“But I’m not going to hurt you. I thought that you would tell me everything that was going on sis,” he stated.
“I do. It’s just, this one might be a bit too much for you. I have a lot of stress right now, and I don’t’ want to talk,” Jackie replied.
Before he could say anything else, Jackie scampered off, heading to her room and starting to shake. She felt anxious, unsure of what she could do about anything. She couldn’t believe that she was actually thinking about stuff like this, about the fact that she was going to have to make a choice about her future, about the kid that she had within her. There was a life within her now, and she was going to have to make a choice. Would she tell her stepbrother? Or would she just let things go the way that they are going? She didn’t know for sure, but she hoped that it would get better as time went on.
Unfortunately, over the next two weeks it got even worse. Jackie tried to get over the feelings, but soon they were ruining her. She continued to feel sick, and soon her appetite was gone, even though she was having trouble keeping food down period. She vomited a lot, but she did it under the guise of she needed to go to the bathroom, and she tried to quietly retch so that he didn’t hear her. She felt bad for not telling Brandon, but it was getting to her. She didn’t feel like telling him straight up that she was pregnant with his kid. That was only going to make things even worse, and she was definitely not in the mood to deal with that sort of thing.
After a few weeks, Brandon did notice that she was looking skinnier. Jackie was at the table, eating a small salad, because it was the only thing she could keep down. There wasn’t’ any dressing on it, because it made her sick. She was picking t it, barely touching it and only eating a few leaves. This bothered him to a great degree, and soon, he spoke.
“Are you okay Jackie? I have never seen you eat so little,” he pointed out.
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” she muttered.
“I’m serious. I’m worried about you sweetie, and I know that you’re not telling me what the hell is going on, but you look frail and thin. I’ve never seen you look so tiny. What’s going on?” he asked her.
Jackie paused, worry fraught on her face. She glanced over at him, but then, she shook her head.
“You wouldn’t understand. Just don’t worry about it,” she replied.
“But I am worried! I care about you Jackie, and I don’t’ want to lose you,” he stated.
“Well, this is something that I’m going through, and I don’t’ want to drag you into my mess,” she replied.
Before he could respond though, Jackie got up, grabbing the keys to her car and heading out. She didn’t want to continue this conversation with him, it would only make things worse. What she had to do was to go see someone who would understand her, and although Jackie hated to do this, she knew just the person, and this person would hopefully ease her worry about everything, and she might be able to come up with a solution to the issue that she had. She hoped that Alex was around, it would make her feel so much better if so.
Chapter 2
Jackie raced over to where Alex worked, a small beauty salon. She was a nail technician, and whenever Jackie came in, if she didn’t have clients, she would do Jackie’s nails. She was a nice woman, but very different from what the normal people would understand. She wore all black and had lavender hair. She usually scared people away, but it added to her charm. When Jackie got in there though, she saw Alex at the reception desk, twiddling her pencil and looking around.
“I know I’m getting paid hourly, but man I would love to go out to the bar right now,” she stated to herself.
“I wish I could too, but I have my own problem,” Jackie replied.
Her best friend looked up at her, smiling warmly.
“Hey there girl! It’s been way too long,” Alex said.
She embraced Jackie, and after a moment or so, she stepped back. She glanced over at Jackie’s face.
“Holy shit you look terrible. What the hell happened?” she asked Jackie.
“Long story. Do you have some time to talk?” Jackie asked.
“Honey, for you I have all the time in the world,” the other stated.
Jackie smiled at that. She was so happy her best friend was cool with her barging in on this. She hated to be such a burden, but to be honest, she needed to talk to a girl right now. Jackie went over to the place where Alex did feet and nails, and soon she was soaking in a tub and had some strange stuff put on her feet.
“This feels good,” Jackie stated.
“I hope it does. It’s some new scrubs that I got. Helps with sores and cracks. So what’s going on? School messing with you?” the other asked.
“Well it always is, but this is a bigger and more dangerous issue that I’m dealing with. It kind of has to do with my future,” she told Alex.
“What happened? Did dad let you go?” she asked.
“Not really, he still supports me. It’s just…I’m pregnant,” Jackie stated.
At that point, Alex stopped, looking over at Jackie with a glance.
“You’ve got to be shitting me,” she told her.
“Nope. I’m telling the truth. I have the pregnancy test in my bag to prove it,” Jackie said.
“No I believe you. You look terrible though. Is it the sickness?” she asked.
“No. I mean I do get sick a lot, but at this point, it’s the anxiety of the whole thing,” Jackie admitted.
“Ahh I see. So who’s the father? I hope it wasn’t some random dude that you had a one-night stand with,” her best friend stated.
“Not at all. In fact, it’s someone closer to me than that,” Jackie stated.
Alex then looked up, scrubbing her feet still but her attention focused on Jackie’s words. She was wondering who in the right mind managed to knock up her best friend, and who Jackie would even allow to knock her up. This had to be an accident, it just had to be.
“Spill it. I’m worried about you Jackie,” she stated.
“Fine. It was Brandon. My stepbrother. He came back recently, and we hit it off really well, almost way too well. I thought I was being smart, but obviously that wasn’t the case,” she told her.
“No shit Sherlock. How in the world did you manage to do that? And why did he knock you up?” she asked.
“It was an accident. I’m not on any birth control, and we didn’t use a condom,” she told the other.
“Well no wonder it happened Jackie. You know better than that. Hell you’ve been to more biology classes than I have, and you know how babies are made,” the other chided.
“Sorry. I know that it was a foolish mistake, but I don’t know what
to do. I’m scared, and because of the anxiety I have, I’ve been unable to eat for the last couple of weeks,” Jackie told her.
“Shit. I’m so sorry babe. But I think you should do the right thing for yourself, and save yourself the heartache of not being able to take care of a baby,” she muttered.
“What do you mean?” Jackie asked.
“I’m telling you to get rid of it while it’s little. I know you’re not too keen about terminating the baby, but abortion is the best course of action. Think about it, you’re not ready for a child Jackie. Hell I don’t’ think you’re even ready for a boyfriend, especially with this shit. The two of you are not together, and I think it’s best if you just let things go the right direction, and you get rid of it now before it ruins you,” she told Jackie.
Jackie nodded feeling number than ever before. She couldn’t believe that this was happening, especially to her.
“I’m scared Alex,” she told the other.
“I’m worried as fuck about you Jackie. I mean, I don’t’ know what to do with you at the moment, especially since all of this is going down. But I think you should do the right thing, and get rid of it before this thing takes over your life and puts you on a bad path,” sh4e told Jackie.
Jackie listened to this. She was right in a sense, but she didn’t know how he would feel about it.
“What about Brandon?” she asked.
“Well he was the one who stuck it in there. I honestly don’t think he gets a say, because even though he’s an idiot, he should’ve used protection. Like come on dude, most guys know about that shit. They know better than that. I think he’s going to use you if you’re not careful,” she told her.
“I don’t’ think he will. But I’m worried about it Alex, I’m worried that if I make the decision without him, he’ll be mad. He already knows that something is wrong, and I know that he has the money to abort it if he agrees with me, but I’m scared that he won’t. And plus, I’m not too sure if I want to abort it or not. I’m worried about my education, sure, but at the same time, I know that I can at least try to balance all of this and actually make it work. That’s what I want to do Alex,” she told the other.
“I know that’ what you want to do Jackie, but think about your damn self as well. You’re going to be carrying this fucking thing, and you need to choose whatever the hell is right for you. I’m not your mother, but if I were you, I would get rid of it while you have the chance, because right now, I can see it all crumbling down. I’m here for you, I just want to think about what is best for you as well,” the other said.
Jackie understood. As much as she didn’t agree with what Alex stated, the woman did have a point. She was playing with fire right now, and this was something that she would just have to face. Still, she knew that the only thing that could be done right now was to ask Brandon about this. She hated to be a bit of an intruder on everything, but she knew that if she didn’t have a decision on this soon, she was going to go plumb crazy because of all of the feelings that she had. That was the last thing that she wanted, and after a little bit of time, she nodded.
“Thank you Alex. I’ll talk to him. I’m going to have to. I know you say that I should make the choice, and when it comes down to it, I will, but I want to go through with this, and I want to have this baby if I can. I mean, I could always give it up for adoption too fi that’s the case,” she told her friend.
“I’m not the maker of your destiny, I’m just telling you what I think. I hope you’ll be able to resolve this soon. And don’t worry about the pedicure and manicure. It’s one the house because you’re my best friend, and I know that you’re going through some serious shit,” she told Jackie.
Jackie smiled in gratitude.
“Thank you. I owe you one,” she told her.
“Well make the right decision, and I will consider that payment,” she stated.
Jackie nodded, feeling a tiny bit better, but still anxious as all hell. She would have to talk to Brandon about everything, and she would need to figure out just what the hell is going to happen next. Jackie knew that she had quite the decision to make, and it was one that definitely wasn’t going to be easy, at least for her. Her life was about to change, and she didn’t know if it was for the better or for worse, but she would do what she felt was right, and she knew that the heart was the final say of what was going to happen next, and Jackie knew for a fact, that although she was terrified of this, she would have a logical conversation with Brandon, and she would at least try to figure out the best course of action for them now, and in the future. She just hoped that it would be an easy resolution, and not one that could put her at odds with the one man that she cared about.
Chapter 3
Jackie felt insecure about all of this. She wanted to tell him, she really did, but she was terrified of what he was going to say. Would he be okay with this? Was it going to all fall in her face? She honestly didn’t know for sure, but when she got home that night, she saw that Brandon was already there.
“Shit,” she told herself.
She didn’t want to deal with this just yet. She would rather spend a little bit of extra time formulating a proper re3sponse to everything, and making her words clear. But she knew that she either wanted to abort it for now, or to give it up for adoption if he got mad. She knew that this would be her fuckup. She should make sure that if she ever does this again, which she honestly doubted more than anything, she would make sure that she did have some form of birth control that she could afford, and some protection so that it never happened again. She wasn’t going to go through with this again if she could help it.
But of course, she was nervous about everything that was going on. She honestly didn’t know how he was going to react. It was either going to be really good, or really bad. When she got home, Brandon looked up at her in an expectant manner.
“You all right there, Jackie? You kind of just ran off,” he told her.
“Yeah. Sorry about that. I’m going through some shit. I’ll probably tell you about it later. Just let me be with my thoughts for now and let me think about everything that is going on,” she told him.
He nodded in assent, looking over at her and smiling.
“Yeah, I think it is for the best that we definitely try to figure out what’s going on. I’m here for you, and if you’re scared to tell me, don’t be. I understand a lot of things, and some of them being the problems that women go through. If it’s regarding school, I can help you study and shit too. I’m not afraid to put a little bit of elbow grease into my stepsister’s education. It helps get the parents off my back too,” he told her.
She nodded feeling nervous about everything. S eh wanted to tell him, she really did, but the anxiety that she had was caving in on her, making her feel worse than ever before.
“Yeah. Just give me a little bit of time. I have to formulate how I’m going to put this,” she explained.
“That’s fine dear,” he told her.
He planted a small kiss against her cheek, and Jackie smiled at him. Shed wondered how he would take the news. She felt nervous to tell him, but at the same time, it almost felt relieving that he would be understanding in a sense regarding this. Sure they would both have to make an executive decision regarding it all, but she was definitely ready for this.
She then went back to her room, thinking about the options that she had laid before her. Those were her thoughts for the next three days, all about how it was going to work out for her and her life, if it was going to be worth it to tell him or not. She thought about a little bit of it, but then, she sighed. It was going to be way harder than she thought it was going to be, and she knew for a fact that it was probably going to test her in ways she never thought possible. But she would do it, she would make sure that she had everything squared away before going through with it.
After a bit of time, she decided that she would tell him. However, before she even got out of her room, Brandon knocked on the door. She got up, heading over
to the doorway and then going to check it. She wondered if he was going to ask her first or if she was going to tell him first. After a moment or so, he then looked at her a she opened up the door, smiling at her warmly.
“Hey there,” he stated.
“Hey yourself,” she replied. She wondered who was going to be the first to ask about everything.
“So, about what’s been going on? What’s happening? You’ve been acting so different that I don’t know what to do about you,” he stated.
She looked at him, realizing that he was serious about this. So he was going to be a bit more forceful. This worried her, and she wondered how it was going to be for him when she spilled it.
“Well first I want to make sure that you’re not going to be pissed if I tell you,” she started.
“Well, I won’t be, as long as you didn’t do something too terrible. The last thing I need is to have a sister that is running from the law. I don’t’ think our parents would be too peachy keen on that shit either,” he offered.
“It’s not that. But it does affect the both of us, and to be honest I’m terrified about telling you,” she replied.
“What’s that?”
She looked at him, trying to avoid his penetrating gaze. There was an obvious reason why she wasn’t too keen about telling him everything. For one, she didn’t know what was going to happen to them, and what they were going to do. He might run away, and then she would be stuck having to take care of a baby, or at least try to get rid of it. But then, there was the fact that she would be having a drastic change in her life, and if he was afraid of it all, he could leave her.
“I’m scared that you might leave me,” she replied. She was trying to hold back from crying, and he could see that.
“I’m not going to leave you. Don’t’ worry about that. Just tell me,” he stated.
Jackie tried to think of any other type of excuse that she could use in order to not tell him. There had to be some sort of reasoning that she could use to get him off her back, but then, she was all out of options. She had to do this, because it was all that she had lefty.
