by Jaime Savage
BLUE COLLAR GUY
'Are they big'?
LUKE
'They have taken the world by storm. They have three number one singles from their debut album'.
The man downs the remains of his beer and stands up to leave.
BLUE COLLAR GUY
'They are almost as bad as the band my daughter was watching on television the other night. They were singing from showers on the stage while performing live. The world may not be ending but music sure as hell is'!
Luke orders a beer from a disgruntled barman and wades through the sombre crowd. He is soon distracted by a distressing conversation playing out between a number of suited businessmen. The men take it in turns to brag and boast about how they were going to capitalize off the impending financial disaster that was to be the bankruptcy of America and the collapse of her dollar. Their lack of sincerity and their sheer arrogance is sickening. One man claims that he will make his fortune off the gold he owns once the currency finally collapses. Another man is set to profit off the inevitable foreclosures that are set to occur in the housing industry when the economic nightmare plays its course. Another, a senior manager for a global investing and securities firm, is set to make his fortune due to his firm hedging on the downturn of the American economy.
BUISNESSMEN (toasting).
'To the common man'.
Luke skulls his drink and heads back to the bar taking a seat next to a distressed girl who is foraging through a series of documents.
('Never expire' by Gossling plays in the bar.)
LUKE
'You know you could go and throw those documents that are stressing you out into one of the many book burning rallies this country has the privilege of hosting'.
The woman stops her mad scramble and smiles at him. She has a bubbly face and an inviting air about her. We will soon learn that her name is Kristin.
KRISTIN
'I'm failing life'.
LUKE
'Well the good news is that there is a resubmit in just over twenty four hours time in purgatory. The bad news is I might be joining you'.
She beams at him.
KRISTIN
'How old are you'?
LUKE
'Twenty eight'.
KRISTIN
'At this point in your life are you exceeding or behind expectations of where you thought your life would be at'?
Luke starts guffawing.
LUKE
'I love it. There's no filter; let's take small talk and throw it out the window'.
KRISTIN
'Well if you believe all this hoo-hah about the world ending then we don't have much time for small talk'.
LUKE
'Do you believe this hoo-hah'?
KRISTIN
'I don't know what to think anymore. It was only when the comet appeared that everything turned to shit both in my life and on a world scale. It's a bad omen and I'll be glad to see the back of its fiery ass one way or another'.
LUKE
'You're not wrong there'.
Kristin gathers up her documents and straightens them by tapping them onto the desk.
KRISTIN
'I guess I'm just lost. I don't know where to go'.
LUKE
'Why don't you just take all your money and invest it in a liquor brewery'?
KRISTIN
'Not the worst idea I've heard'.
Luke picks up the drinks menu.
LUKE
'Observe as follows'.
He calls the barmaid over.
LUKE (lazily reading from the drink list).
'A doomsday shot?
He starts laughing.
LUKE
'A doomsday shot! I'm legitimately curious now'.
BARMAID (Smiling)
'Be careful what you wish for. I must warn you. This shot is hotter than that comet up there. It's guaranteed to fry your brain and if you survive it your next shot is half price'.
LUKE
'We'll take two'.
BARMAID
'Don't forget that if you survive until Sunday it is happy hour all next week'.
Behind the barmaid is a poster promoting Mateus Mcclure, who only weeks ago-prior to the economic collapse-had been America's favourite son. Mateus is an African American with a crew cut and a thick beard. He is known for his taciturn, composed demeanour. The poster's headline reads: 'The world's last pioneer, the American to stand on Mars'. Someone has graffitied over the poster the words: 'We want our trillion dollars back'.
At the time of departure the ship's captain Mateus Mcclure was adored by not only the American public but billions worldwide. The Virginia native had come from humble beginnings to head the most expensive space voyage in human history. Just as they had with Jesse Johns in the hours that followed his enduring redemption in his final bout in South Africa, the media tried to propel McClure as their new poster boy duping him 'the world's last adventurer'. Only days before liftoff, a special concert was held at the site of the last Olympiad in New York, the pretentiously named 'Stadium of the World'. A record television audience watched the lift off in Florida and in the days that followed the world was gripped by the regular stream of reports surrounding the much anticipated voyage. However, now, months after liftoff, the reality of the deputation had hit home hard. Not only had the expedition been plagued by well documented blunders but the shocking cost of the voyage which had far exceeded even the most liberal of calculations had hit home hard.
Such was the magnitude of the cost many people felt stifled when the economy collapsed only weeks after departure. Many correlated the cost of the expedition and the economical collapse of the nation. Mateus Mcclure, the golden boy only months before, the final remaining hero in a world ridden with despair was now being hung out to dry. The fragilities of the media were on show for all; the ass kissing had ended and now the media were contempt on turning the man they'd spent so much time and money building up into a pariah. The once hourly updates dried up and the novelty of the inaugural manned trip to Mars ran its course as the realization that bigger, more relevant problems had reared their ugly heads. Average Joe was waking up to the realization that setting foot on Mars was not going to put food on their tables or help pay their growing list of bills.
LUKE
'My name is Luke by the way'.
He shakes her hand.
KRISTIN
'Kristin. So what's the answer'?
LUKE
'42'?
KRISTIN
'Hitchhikers eh'? Do you think the Heart of Gold could be hiding behind the comet? Maybe it could save me from this mess'?
LUKE
'Join a cult and find out'.
Kristin grins.
KRISTIN
'I doubt I would last five minutes in one'.
LUKE
'You never know until you try'.
KRISTIN
'My friend joined a cult in Canada once. She received her first warning for sneaking out in below freezing temperatures one night to get a whooper from Burger King. The warning must have fallen on deaf ears as she was given her marching orders a few days later when the leaders found her passed out lying in an empty baptism basin after a big night drinking contraband'.
They both laugh at this. The barmaid reappears with their shots.
LUKE
'I propose a toast. Here's to Earth, the human race and the back of that dreaded comet'.
KRISTIN
'I wish to add to that. Here's to Hale Bopp's Friend. I hope she's able to find her lover'.
LUKE
'Her lover'?
He starts laughing.
KRISTIN
'You don't know that they're not lovers'.
LUKE
'It's Hale Bopp's Friend. Not Hale Bopp's fuck boy'.
KRISTIN
'Friends couple up all the time'.
LUKE
'No not these two. Hale Bopp's Friend is stuck perpetually in
the friend zone'.
KRISTIN
'You think that's why he's lashing out and terrorizing Earth'?
LUKE (smirking)
'He? How do you know it's a he'?
Kristin clanks Luke's shot glass.
KRISTIN
'Shut up and drink'.
LUKE
'Cheers'.
KRISTIN
'Cheers'.
They down the shots. Luke ushers for refills.
KRISTIN
'I've had more potent shots before'.
Luke re-examines the drink list.
LUKE
'In retrospect perhaps we should have ordered the black mamba shot? or maybe the king cobra..I mean my God have they just tried to fit as many snake related drink names as possible onto one page or something'?
KRISTIN
'Year of the Snake baby'.
LUKE
'We should have listened to the Chinese. We never listen to the Chinese'.
KRISTIN
'We didn't need to listen to them; we just had to look at history'.
LUKE
'Pearl Harbour'.
KRISTIN
'9/11 terrorist attacks'.
LUKE
'The start of the Great Depression'.
KRISTIN
'World War One.
LUKE
'Meeting you'.
KRISTIN
'You think I'm bad luck'?
LUKE
'You could be'.
KRISTIN
'You think meeting the opposite sex brings misfortune? What are you one of these Cold War of the sexes type people'?
Luke shudders.
LUKE
'Please don't lump me in with them'.
KRISTIN
'Well in that case I can safely say I've been waiting for a guy to come and pick me up and lead me away from here'.
Luke guffaws.
LUKE
'They'll take you to room 101 for saying that these days'.
KRISTIN
'Perhaps. Then again, did you see that author last week? He released his controversial novel in two editions; one for men, one for woman. Two books?two middle fingers to the PC police'.
LUKE
'Fine I might let you away for a warning then'.
They both laugh.
KRISTIN
'In all seriousness it's only human nature for people to look for someone to turn to in a time like this. A hero is needed but missing'.
LUKE
'Maybe we're not looking hard enough'.
KRISTIN
'Those who make them become like them; so do all who trust in them'.
LUKE
'Is that another Chinese reference'?
KRISTIN
'No it's not a proverb; it's scripture'.
LUKE
'I haven't heard that before. It's interesting'.
KRISTIN
'It's not really. My mother was a God fearing nut. I ran away from home at a young age but she will take some satisfaction that parts of the scripture she used to regurgitate like a parrot are now wedged involuntarily into my long term memory'.
LUKE
'No kidding'.
The barmaid places refills in front of them. Luke raises his shot in the air.
LUKE
'Here's to religious fundamentalist mothers'.
KRISTIN
'I ain't drinking to that'.
LUKE
'Here's to us surviving the second great depression then'.
KRISTIN
'Send our regards to Herbert Hoover. He did the best he could'.
Luke is about to clank her glass but feints.
LUKE
'You've either been watching too many commercials or you're trying to woo me with your knowledge of dead people that lived a long time ago'?
KRISTIN
'No I'm fascinated with dead people'.
LUKE
'You're fascinated with dead people'?
KRISTIN
'Why have you never wondered what it will like to be dead? It truly terrifies the shit out of me'.
LUKE
'Did your religious fundamentalist mother never teach you the layers of conversation? There's small talk and then'-
KRISTIN
'You've never wondered'?
LUKE
'I have recently'.
KRISTIN
'Do you think it would be like all those thousands of years we weren't here'?
LUKE
'Maybe there's something more'?
KRISTIN
'You think'?
LUKE
'I hope'.
KRISTIN
'What if there isn't? Will it be like being permanently inoculated'?
LUKE
'We are all visitors to this time, to this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love?and then we return home'.
KRISTIN
'That's not Chinese'.
LUKE
'It's not scripture either'.
KRISTIN
'What is it'?
LUKE
'It could be the truth'.
She weights him up for a few seconds.
KRISTIN
'I can drink to that'.
They knock back the shots.
('Never expire' by Gossling ends.)
SCENE: BAR (LATER)
They are on the sparsely populated dance floor. Now that she is inebriated, Kristin is suddenly a lot more flirtatious.
KRISTIN
'I didn't want the song to end, I don't want to stop dancing'.
Luke leads her away from the dance floor back to the bar counter.
LUKE
'I think everybody else in this establishment wants us to stop dancing'.
She playfully slaps him.
KRISTIN
'Who cares about them! The way I see it is that we have two options right now. We can either sit here feeling sorry for ourselves like every other sorry ass in this bar or we can live. Think about it Luke, tomorrow could be the last ever sunrise; don't you want to live like there's no tomorrow? Don't you want to go out in a fury of passion, with no regrets, no worries and nothing but joy? Don't you want to greet the Grim Reaper with a smile cemented across your face'?
Luke nods and takes a sip of his drink. He is intoxicated but hasn't completely lost his wits.
KRISTN
'You know you're very courteous. I'm guessing you're a businessman? You look like a businessman; so orderly'.
She rests her head on her knuckles and gazes into his eyes invitingly. To say that she is forthcoming is an understatement.
LUKE
'I'm here on business yes'.
She moves in closer.
KRISTIN
'Are you staying at the hotel'?
LUKE
'No'.
KRISTIN (enticed)
'You have a place of your own then'?
LUKE
'Potentially'.
KRISTIN
'What is it that you do exactly'?
LUKE
'I work in security'.
The answer confuses her. Her voice has suddenly lost its seductiveness.
KRISTIN
'What like IT security or banking security'?
LUKE (enjoying himself)
'No?undercover security. I know exactly who you are'.
It's the ultimate sucker punch. She forces out some excuse in her shock and bolts from the hotel and within seconds is lost from view. Luke checks his pocket and is pleased to see his wallet is still there. He throws a tip down for the barmaid and walks off. It's an all too familiar situation for some men in recent times.
LUKE
'That girl is a date buster'.
BARMAID
'That would make the third this week. I'll add her to our list'.
Chapter 6
SCENE: MIDTOWN MANHATTEN
(The second verse of 'There is a light
out that never goes out' cover by the Dum Dum Girls plays)
Day turns to night. We see the Luftballoon Zeppelin released from its mooring point atop the Empire State Building. As the nation lies in political and economical disaster teenagers take to the streets to escape the harsh realities of life. With no destination in mind, the young folks congregate on intersection corners alongside the desperate Paparazzi who linger like spiders waiting for something of note to transpire.
A six foot eight, two hundred and fifty pound man wearing a green hachimaki impresses a crowd of on looking teens with his martial arts skills. The man's bangs come down underneath his hachimaki completely covering up his eyes giving him an enigmatic aura. One of his assistants hands out pamphlets to the easily wooed onlookers. The pamphlet is headed 'Learn the most dangerous martial arts moves in the world. Free membership to our fellowship. Take back control of your life'.
We see a teenage girl wearing a neon coloured leotard, spandex leggings and sweatbands skip past the martial arts performer and the Paparazzi. We follow her along the sidewalk lined with street performers of varying degrees of skill levels. It's like the audition rounds of a talent show; in these desperate times people will do anything and everything for money. We see the usual range of buskers; singers, magicians and dancers. In a sign of the times, however, buskers are being more creative and innovative to differentiate themselves from the ever increasing competition. Seemingly anything goes. We see a kissing booth, a real life Ask Zoltar, a robot chess champion and what appears to be a former college professor now lecturing in the street, projecting his notes against a brick wall.
