by Diana Quincy
“Did you enjoy your walk in the gardens?” Toby asked upon reaching them.
“Yes, we had the most delightful time,” Kitty said brightly. “I should like to repeat the experience soon.”
Rand firmed his jaw. “Now that your cousin is returned, I shall take my leave.”
“But there is something of critical importance that we must discuss,” she called after him.
His heart stopped and he turned back to see her amused expression. “I can’t think of what that might be.”
“There is the matter of Vera, of course.”
His pulse returned to almost normal. “Your canine.”
“Yes. Do you mean to keep her?”
“My footman attempted to return her, but it seems she’s grown accustomed to sleeping next to my bed. I trip over her every time I rise at night.”
She tilted her head in contemplation. “Do you awaken often in the night hours?”
Damnation. “Not often,” he lied. “I’ll have the animal brought to you.”
“Perhaps the parting will go easier on Vera if you deliver her yourself,” she said with false innocence. “Mother and I receive on Wednesday afternoons. Will you come and bring her then?”
“You might as well acquiesce,” Toby said. “Kat is decidedly hard-headed when it comes to getting what she desires.”
He forced a response through his tight jaw. “Of course.”
“Brilliant.” She flashed a radiant smile that he felt down to his toes. “I shall look forward it.”
Striding away, he scrubbed both hands down his face. The meaning of that smile was not lost on him. Kitty had just thrown down the gauntlet. She intended to fight for what she wanted and, Lord help them both, she still wanted him.
…
“This is madness.” Fanny shook her head with exasperation as she finished dressing Kat’s hair, readying her to receive callers for their Wednesday at-home. “How can you even contemplate any sort of courtship with the earl after what he’s done to you?”
Kat met her maid’s gaze in the mirror’s reflection. “It’s never really been finished between us. I have to see where this road takes me. If I don’t, I fear I will always regret it.”
Fanny scoffed. “It’ll take you to misery and ruin, mark my words.”
“I don’t believe Edward would hurt me on purpose. He was always a good man.” She’d given the matter a great deal of thought since their encounter at the veterans’ home. “He left because he wanted to make something of himself before we married. He was too honorable to run away to Gretna Green, even though I begged him to.” She ignored Fanny’s shocked inhale. “I don’t know why he didn’t come back for me after the war. There is something he isn’t telling me.”
“Maybe he has good reason for keeping his business to himself.” Fanny tugged a loose tendril into place.
“Ouch!” She rose to keep her hair out of Fanny’s grasp and turned to face her. “You of all people should understand why I must see this through. This time, if it doesn’t work, I shall know it wasn’t meant to be.”
They were interrupted by a knock on the door and a summons from her mother because their first callers had arrived. Kat stifled pangs of guilt when she saw the ever-attentive Laurie was among the first arrivals. Dear, sweet Laurie. Crying off would hurt him deeply, but she truly believed he wouldn’t want to wed her once he discovered her heart didn’t fully belong to him. He deserved a wife who would put his happiness above all others.
The at-home came to an end without Edward making an appearance. Climbing the stairs to her bed chamber, she wasn’t entirely surprised. He’d made it quite clear that he wished to avoid her, although their recent embraces proved he wasn’t unmoved by her. Voices sounded down below in the foyer followed by Vera’s joyful bark. She turned on the stairs and looked down to where Edward stood with a frolicking Vera on a leash. He looked up at her, those dark eyes taking her in.
“Lord Randolph, this is a surprise.” Her mother’s tone was polite, but wary. As an earl, Edward was now deserving of the respect her parents had denied him all those years ago. He bowed low, showing her deference as Kat’s mother. “My lady.”
“Will you join us for refreshment?” Lady Nugent politely suggested, the hesitation in her tone easing. Their at-home having concluded, it would be rude for the earl to accept her invitation, and so he did not.
“No, thank you. I don’t wish to discommode you. I only stopped by to return Lady Katherine’s animal to her.”
Kat had to restrain herself from running down the stairs to keep him from leaving, but she managed to proceed at a discreet pace. “Thank you.”
Vera bounded over to her, wagging her tail in lavish, wide swishes. Kat laughed and bent to welcome the dog, allowing her to lick her chin.
“Really, Katherine,” her mother admonished, her distaste clear on her face. “You mustn’t let her do that.”
Kat gave Vera’s ears a vigorous massage before standing upright and flashing Edward an amused expression. “There’s no harm in it. She’s showing me her affection.”
Edward replaced his hat atop his head. “Now that you two are successfully reunited, I shall take my leave.”
She didn’t want him to go. “Are you certain you won’t stay for refreshment?”
His answer was interrupted by Vera’s whine as she scratched at the front door.
“John,” her mother called to the footman standing sentry in the foyer—all of the footmen were called John no matter their true Christian name—“do take that creature out before she marks up the door.”
“I’ll do it.” Kat seized the opportunity to be alone with Edward. “I’ll walk the earl out. I could use the fresh air.”
Her mother flashed a troubled look between the two of them. And for a moment Kat worried she would forbid it. But then she said, “Very well. Do take Fanny with you.”
“This is folly,” Fanny hissed after they donned their pelisses and hurried down to join Edward.
“I would have a care if I were you,” Kat retorted, unwilling to be deterred. “You might not approve, but bear in mind that Lord Randolph could one day be your new master and the true folly would be for you to cross him.”
Fanny answered with a humph, and all three set out with Vera in tow, Fanny trailing behind. Edward held Vera’s leash in one hand and offered Kat his opposite arm, which she took, happy to have at least this limited physical contact between them.
“You must put any idea of an arrangement between us out of your mind,” he said in quiet tones. “It is for the best.”
“I have decided to tell Laurie I am crying off at the Hobart’s house party in a sennight.” She knew Edward had been invited to the house party Toby and Bea’s mother planned to hold at their country estate. “Will I see you there?”
His arm stiffened under her hand. “No, you most certainly will not. I beg you to reconsider this nonsense.”
She continued as if he hadn’t spoken. Her course was set now. She would see it through. “After I cry off, Laurie can retire to his country estate instead of returning to Town to face the scandal. By the time the Season begins in earnest and he returns to take up his seat in the lords, the uproar will have abated.”
He halted, his face set in hard lines. “We enjoyed a childhood infatuation and nothing more. I will never court you. We will never marry.”
“You are not unmoved by me. I felt it when you kissed me.”
“Physical desire is not love.”
“I will also stay in the country,” she continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “And once my parents become accustomed to my new situation, I hope you will come and visit.”
“I most certainly will not.”
“We shall see.” She took the dog’s leash from him. “We should go. Come, Vera.”
The animal bounded over, nosing up against her thigh. Kat turned to leave, but felt a sudden tug on the leash after she’d gone just a few steps. She turned to find Vera planted by Edward’s side.
“Well, how do you like that?” he said with clear amusement.
“One would think you were her master.” The irritation roiling in her chest at Vera’s blatant defection immediately gave way to a realization. “Perhaps the animal already knows what fate has in store.”
“I don’t take your meaning.”
“Vera seems to understand that you are soon to be her new master.”
His face darkened. “You don’t stop.”
“Exactly right.” She handed Vera’s leash to him. “You would do well to give up the fight.”
…
The unbearable stench invaded his nostrils, the smell of blood and rotting flesh turning his stomach. Rand stumbled away and struggled not to spill its meager contents when he caught sight of the flies buzzing around the pile of severed limbs. All the while, the soldier’s singing played over and over in his mind:
I thought I heard the Colonel crying
March brave boys there’s no denying
Then the other sound joined in, the unrelenting back-and-forth rhythm of sawing. The soldier’s voice grew shriller, yet he continued on.
Cannons roaring—drums abeating
March brave boys there’s no retreating
Love farewell
He went toward the sound. Something dropped with a heavy thud at his feet. Another severed arm. His shoulder hurt like the devil. He rubbed it, but found an empty sleeve where his arm used to be.
Rand shot up to a sitting position in the dark, sweating and disconcerted, his breathing fast and shallow. The stale smell of cheroot smoke thickened the air, replacing the awful stench of rotting flesh and bone. It took a moment for him to comprehend he was in his bed in the mausoleum on Grosvenor Square and not at a wartime field hospital.
His sudden movement alerted Vera, who’d been asleep beside the bed. She pushed up on all four legs and faced him, her tail held up high and still, as if she were standing sentry. Lightheaded and dazed, he tried to remember why the animal was in his bed chamber.
Agonizing pain clenched his chest and the uncontrollable shaking began. Cursing, he lay back down, curling into a fetal position. There was nothing to be done for it. He’d experienced enough of these episodes to know there was no preventing them. A curtain of terror bled over him, his vision dimmed. He couldn’t breathe.
And then everything went black.
Chapter Seven
“Get down from there! Shoo before I feed you to the horses!”
His valet’s irritated voice pierced the blackness. Something both rough and delicate lapped at Rand’s face. The unmistakable scent of dog’s breath closed in on him.
“Down, you mangy creature. Get away.” Burgess’ voice moved closer. Rand dragged his heavy eyelids open to find Vera’s snout at very close range. Standing over him on the bed, she paid his valet no mind and concentrated on licking his face repeatedly.
Perspiring and shaky, his heart slamming against his chest wall, Rand placed his hand on the animal’s head to push her away in a gentle manner. She allowed it, jumping off with a bark and coming to an alert sitting position on the floor by the bed. Her tail swept back and forth in slow, wide wags, and she regarded him with an expectant expression.
Then it occurred to him what had happened. “Bloody hell. I had another episode.”
“Indeed,” Burgess said in his crisp fashion. His clothing, slightly askew as though he’d dressed in a hurry, was the lone sign anything out of the ordinary had occurred. “Brandy or a smoke?”
“Both.” He pushed to a sitting position, wincing at the throbbing pain in his shoulder. Rubbing the tender spot, he trailed his hand down his arm to reassure himself the limb remained intact. “How long this time?”
Burgess handed him a brandy and cheroot, pausing to light it for him. “Considerably more abbreviated than the last time.” He paused, contemplating the question. “A few minutes at most.”
“Son of a bitch.” Rand threw the brandy down his throat all at once.
Burgess reached for the decanter again. “More?” Still disconcerted, Rand nodded. “Speaking of bitches, that one there” —Burgess tilted his head in Vera’s direction— “refused to be dissuaded from lapping at your face as though it were a sweetmeat.”
He emptied the glass again and handed it back to the butler. Coughing, he swiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “No more brandy.” He dangled his hand off the side of the bed and Vera came right to it. Standing on her hind paws, she balanced her front legs against the bed frame and nudged her furry head up under his hand. “Good girl.”
The animal wiggled her body with happy enthusiasm. He petted her more vigorously, in the playful way he now knew she preferred. “Did I put the fear in you, girl?”
Burgess moved about the chamber, straightening the clothes Rand had draped across a chair when he’d undressed before bed. Even though the valet had comfortable quarters commiserate with his status as the household’s highest placed servant, he still slept in the simple valet room just off the master’s chamber. Rand suspected it was so he could be close at hand during these moments of crisis.
“Did I say anything this time?”
“Nothing particularly distinguishable.” Burgess threw a few logs on the flagging fire in the hearth. Picking up a poker, he coaxed the flames into a burst of renewed energy.
”You’re lowering yourself to tend the fire rather than leaving it to an underling.” Rand spoke in a wry tone. “My episode must have been very bad indeed.”
“Not to worry.” He propped the poker carefully back into its stand. “There are plenty of other tasks I can assign on the morrow to remind the lower servants of their place. There’s no sense in waking the entire household.”
Other than Elena, only Burgess knew of these blasted episodes. He’d been on hand since the first one, not long after Talavera. Although the occurrence of the bouts had dwindled in the two years since Rand had given up his commission, they still struck occasionally with no forewarning.
He massaged behind Vera’s ears. The animal practically sighed with pleasure as she rested her chin on the edge of the mattress. Rand’s heartbeat slowly restored itself to a more normal rhythm. “I suppose I needed this particular episode to slam some sense into my addled mind.”
“Beg pardon?”
He took a deep drag on his cheroot. “I was beginning to contemplate giving you the mistress of the house you’ve been haranguing me about.”
Burgess turned to give him his full attention. “Indeed?”
“This episode reaffirms that it would be folly to take a bride.” Pressure bore down on Rand’s chest at the thought of what he must do. “I can’t in good conscience subject a wife to this madness.”
The valet tilted his head. “Who was the fortunate lady, may I ask?”
“You may not. Suffice to say, I must put an end to her fanciful notions of marriage.”
“I imagine any lady who would release you so easily isn’t worthy of your affections.”
“I fear you might be correct.” He exhaled, blowing smoke high into the air, remembering Kitty’s kind tolerance of the pensioners. “If I explained this madness to the lady, she’s liable to stay out of guilt or misplaced duty.”
“Or an abundance of affection.”
“What sort of drivel is that?” he said more sharply than he intended. “Don’t tell me there’s a romantic soul hidden under all that starch.”
“Perhaps you should relay the truth and allow the lady to make the choice.”
“No.” He spoke in hard tones. “I will never allow that. She deserves better.” The irony of it tasted bitter on his tongue. He’d left her all those years ago because he hadn’t the consequence to take her to wife. Now, despite being in possession of both a title and a tidy fortune, he was even less worthy of her.
“Drivel indeed,” Burgess said in a low tone, more to himself than to Rand.
“What was that?” Rand demanded, even though he’d heard perfectly.
“Nothing at all. Do you want me to put that creature out?” Burgess approached Vera with obvious distaste. “It’s liable to keep you awake.” Vera’s body vibrated with a low growl when the valet got too close.
“She seems to have taken an immediate dislike to you.”
Burgess sniffed. “The feeling is mutual.”
Rand patted the bed and Vera hopped onto the mattress, settling down beside him. “Leave her with me.” He ran a hand down the length of the animal’s body. Stroking her soft coat settled him somehow. “I could use the company. I doubt there’ll be any more sleep for me this evening. Why don’t you return to your bed?”
“As you wish, my lord.”
Rand scowled. “Perhaps Vera could be persuaded to bite you in the arse every time you call me by that blasted title.”
“Perhaps,” said Burgess disappearing into his valet chamber, “my lord.”
Rand settled back against the pillows, running one hand over Vera’s prone form while contemplating the distasteful task that lay ahead. Leaving Kitty to join the war had been agony enough, even when he’d had every intention of returning to reclaim her. This time, he meant to end their association for good. He must find a way to persuade her to abandon her notions of a romantic reunion between them. In short, he needed to do something unforgivable.
Taking a long, slow draw on the cheroot, a plan of how to put Kitty off him forever formed in his mind. Now he just had to find the courage to follow through with it.
…
“Look at Laurie. He has the most well-formed body of any man I’ve ever seen,” Lexie said with an audible sigh of envy. The tangle inside Kat’s stomach tightened into a hard knot. The three women had set up near the lake to watercolor for the afternoon. She looked into the distance, across the lake, where the men were fishing. Laurie stood at the edge with a pole in hand, his strong legs braced apart, his blond hair catching the sun. Soon she must tell him the truth. Normally, she’d do anything to avoid hurting Laurie. Except give up Edward.
“And have you seen many men’s bodies, Lexie?” Bea asked in a teasing manner.
Keeping her gaze on the men, Lexie twirled her sable brush into a fine point. “Since Laurie is taken, I’ve set my sights on Lord Randolph. He’s a little bit on the thin side, but still cuts a fine form.”
