by Mason, Jolie
“Bout ready to get back to work?”she asked him.
He frowned at her detached tone. “I’ve been working. Catching pirates is no vacation, I assure you. Ari, are you okay?”
She cleared her throat. “I’m fine. Just got my mind on the next run.”
“The next run”, he said comprehending. “You’re leaving.”
A lift blew by with the first of the crates. Caden’s face clouded up. “I have a business to run, Caden. I can’t earn money sitting on my ass”, Ari informed him.
“You can’t get to know your son in space, either.”
There was no way the sadness didn’t bleed onto her face. It felt like a bullet to the heart when he said it so casually. Her son didn’t need her, and she’d wanted it that way, had resigned herself to this way of things, and, here he was, telling her to turn the world on its axis just so she could feel better or sleep at night. She sighed. “I know. Arden and Brinn will take care of him. He’s got you now. He’ll be fine.”
“Without you, you mean. He’ll be fine without you. You’ve decided. And me? Will I be fine without you?” He demanded angrily.
She noticed the crew’s glances as Caden raised his voice. “It’s just a run. It’s not like I won’t be coming back sometime.”
“Bullshit!” he shouted. “Valah, I’ve known you a long damn time. You fly off in this ship, and I won’t see you till we’re both too old to give a damn about sex or marriage or babies, which is what you’re really afraid of.”
“You want to do this here?” she asked glancing around at the workers trying not to stare.
“Why not here?” he yelled. “I cannot believe you would do this again!”
“Again”, she said. “Exactly.” She stomped back to the inner doors, hitting both with a smack of her hands as she went through them to the overly bright hallway beyond. His footsteps pounded up behind her, until he grabbed both of her elbows and slammed her softly against the white wall at the corridor’s end. His mouth crushed hers in a kiss so desperate she thought she’d suffocate.
“Thought we were past this”, he said into her mouth. His kiss softened as her body did. Her hands clutching at his shoulders tightened on the soft fabric when he demanded, “Why?”
She let her head fall back to the wall. “This ship is home. I don’t belong on Taarken anymore. I don’t know what you want, but this ship I understand.”
He licked his lips like his mouth had gone dry. “You don’t know what I want? Fair enough. Let me enlighten you.” His body crowded hers, and she could feel the hardness at her hip, the tension in his muscles. She felt his hands crush her to his body as if he could force her to stay.
“I want always, Ari. Whatever else, I want you morning and night. Twelve years, I loved you. Nothing changed, even when I wanted it to change. You want to make life easier on everyone, I get that, but you have power.” She look away, and he crowded her further still into the wall, until she almost forgot where they were. “You have the power to end me. Walk out on me again, and I don’t know if I have the strength to rebuild. That’s how badly I need you. I can’t wait another twelve years, so are you making things easier on me or you?”
“He’ll never forgive me, Caden.” Tears began to roll down her face. “It was too hard. That’s why I left. Brinn could never really take my place with me here, so I left. I’m supposed to just waltz back in and do that to her, to him? Do you know how often I wished you and I could trade places?” She laughed. “You didn’t know about him. I had to hand him over and pretend to be glad about it. I had to pretend I didn’t miss him and his little boy smell right after a bath. I had to be the one to walk away. Guess I got good at it.”
“He’s already forgiven you, woman. You haven’t given him the chance to tell you because you give everyone space like you’re some kind of disease. When are you allowed to have what you want? Why do you have to give up everything for everyone else?”
He pressed his face against hers. “Please”, he whispered. “Please, come with me and talk to our son. Please, don’t run. This time there’s no excuse, Ari. This time it’s a choice.” He broke her heart with those simple pleas.
“You don’t need me like you think you do, Caden.”
“I need you like I need air. How can you not see it?”
“I can’t fight you apparently”, she said, with her eyes closed. How she wanted to believe she could belong with Caden? She gotten so good at denying hope, smothering it before it bloomed, but she felt it growing again, in spite of her.
“Good. Just come see Jace.”
“I have to load the cargo and get the ship scheduled for the Array. I can come then.”
Chiming bells sounded throughout the corridor. She looked up helplessly. “I know. You have watch”, he said.
“I have to go to the bridge.”
“I know.” He kissed her nose. “Go to the bridge. I’ll take care of the planet.”
“I thought you didn’t own the planet.”
“I kind of own the planet. Most of the good parts. Kind of.”
She humphed in his direction and pulled away. “I’ll comm when I’m done here.”
*****#*****
It wasn’t a house. It was more of a palatial estate built in a customized framework to blend seamlessly with the desert landscape around it. That’s all, she thought. Just a tiny little estate.
How was she supposed to fit here exactly? To Ari, the wealthy had always been the predators, preying on all those below them in the food chain. Caden transformed himself into the sole exception she’d ever seen, but this house.. . It was another world. This wasn’t Taarken with it’s rough streets and dirty jobs. This wasn’t her. Her heart sank in her chest.
Ari sighed deeply as they stepped out of the car Caden had sent round for her and Ra’dan. The Sorian boy had been reluctant to come when he’d been asked, so Ari had ordered him into the car. Now, he shared a glance with her that told her they were both more than a little out of place. She hooked her arm in his and began walking up the landscaped walk trailing gracefully into a wide, white open breezeway opulently covered in potted ferns and flowers. A hot spring and oasis of leafy trees and spiny cacti stretched around the house for a mile in every direction, making the house the central feature.
Double doors slid open at the touch of her hand when she went to ring, as if he’d already programmed her DNA into the scanner. “Hmm", Ra said quietly. “You must be expected." He quirked that one eyebrow at her sardonically, as only he could.
The spacious foyer glowed warm in sunset tones. Children’s laughter echoed through the house’s corridors. Rooms mazed before and around her in labyrinthine splendor, a parlor here, a library there. Her hand stretched to touch the dark wood door frame leading into a ridiculously lavish conservatory filled with exotics from all across the Imperium. Her glances fell over antiques and treasures from every culture.
She and Ra’ddy followed the sound of squeals and splashes to a massive, luxurious pool with warm water flowing over a rock formation in its’ center. All the nieces and nephews were swimming and darting about like seals. There was an ornamental fish pond built into the design, she noticed, a sturdy red rock rising out of the water in a small tower to feed the fish a steady supply of fresh spring water.
“Oh, dear”, she whispered.
“Goddess”, Ra’dan said in an echo.
Arms enveloped her from behind just as Caden buried his nose in her hair. “I missed you”, he breathed. She tensed at first.
“Missed you, too.”
Ra’ddy waved at the two of them and made himself scarce. In fact, he moved as if he were being chased by something large and deadly. The traitor. “Come here”, Caden demanded pulling her behind a huge, potted tree with broad, sweeping leaves.
His tongue danced on hers and his hands swept over her body possessively making her relax into him weakly, cupping her breast before she heard the youngest of her brother’s brood screech on a slide. “Kids”, she whispered
in reminder.
“I’ll be good”, he promised with one last twining kiss.
“You neglected to tell me you’d bought a title to go with your pool”, she said crossly.
“No title. Just little old me. I designed it for you. You loved water. It just sort of happened this way. I saw something I thought you’d like, so I bought it.” He tugged her further into the alcove and moved in for another stolen kiss. She just let him because his confession, his matter-of-fact relating of such a fact, threw her.
“Caden, you built this house because I loved water?” He nodded a little and kept a wary eye on her, waiting for her to run screaming, she assumed.
“I love you”, she said finally. What woman wouldn’t? It was too hard to fight this. Caden gave and gave, until she had no choice but to feel loved.
He gave her the crooked little grin she loved, then spun her in front of him using his body to push her along.
“Where are we going now?”, she asked in a whispery voice because that kiss had her thinking thoughts about being alone, about skin on skin. Her breathing grew heavier, even as her heartbeat raced.
“Jace is in the pool with the therapist. You wanna see how he’s doing? It’s going very well. Obviously, a matter of superior genes. He’ll be up and walking very soon.”
That threw cold water on her steamy thoughts. Her son who wasn’t thrilled at being her son. She seesawed from soft, sexy desires to bone chilling fear in about three seconds.
Caden had taken to fatherhood like one of his kept fish took to water. She had no choice but be pushed along toward her gathered family. Her stomach twisted in dread.
She noticed Brinn resting on a patio keeping watch on the water while her flock splashed around like water fowl. She held one hand up to shade her eyes. Ari wondered if Brinn was as peaceful as she looked sitting in the late afternoon sun.
As Caden led her toward the far end of the elaborate pool, she saw Jace’s hair waving in a breeze as he walked between two long, silver bars installed into the pool. Her eyes caught on the glaring surgical scars on his back Two long lines, one jagged where he’d been wounded, one smooth and clean like an incision. He’d very nearly died. That much was obvious.
It was jarring to see the marks on his young body, even when she’d been there to see him pale and lifeless on a stretcher. Her baby had nearly died. Ari put a hand to her mouth to smother the small sound threatening to escape.
“Jace”, Caden called. “She’s here.” Caden let go of her waist to wave.
She walked along behind him, two hands on the one he used to drag her to the pool side. That was when her son’s warm eyes caught hers with a smile and a jaunty wave as he backed up to a lift that would pull him from the water. Hope bloomed in her. Was that welcome on his face?
He rubbed one of his legs with a grimace as they got closer. She heard the therapist scolding, “I told you you were overdoing it.”
“I know. I know”, he groused at the pretty young woman. “Can you believe this old bat?”, he asked Ari. “Never shuts up.”
“Jace!”, Ari said. “I’m so sorry.. .”
The young blonde laughed. “Don’t worry. He’s always harping on my age because he’s such a baby-faced child that he can’t act like a grown up and be patient. I’ve known Jace since we were kids. Well, since he was a kid and I was his much older, much wiser babysitter. Kinda like now actually.” Ari smiled.
The therapist couldn’t be more than in her late twenties, and it was obvious they had a special rapport now that she’d heard this response to her son’s outrageous behavior. For a moment, she’d thought she’d have to redo some of his parenting.
“Is it my fault you’re an ancient hag?”
Ari rolled her eyes. “So ancient. Caden, how do we go on at our ages?”
“I do not know.” He rested his chin on her head and wrapped his arms around her waist securely once more. Jace watched the two of them a bit longer, like he might be sizing up how he felt about his parents embracing one another, then grabbed a towel from a nearby chair. His hover chair moved with little input from him. He had an implant model. Wait. He had an implant model?
“Jace, they saved the implant connections.” She could hardly believe it. That was the one injury she thought would never be repaired after talking to doctors everyday for a week and hearing the worst.
“Yep, I’m more or less intact. It’s just a matter of time. Days even,” he glanced at the young woman preparing to leave. “And then I’ll be free of the spinster harridan.”
She smiled at him over her shoulder with a deep dimple. The girl was lovely, nut brown skin shining with her hours in the sun. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Carnes, he’ll probably need another feeding around two.”
Caden barked out a laugh. “I love that girl.”
Ari watched Jace watching his therapist leave through the doors she’d just entered. The girl’s walk had a bit of extra sway to it, as if she might hope someone watched. Someone in particular. “You may not be the only one”, she whispered and nodded to Jace who looked slightly less jovial now that the girl had gone.
Caden excused himself to see Cara out, and probably manipulate her artfully into dating his son, she imagined with a sigh. He couldn’t help it. He was the meddling mother hen, apparently. She wondered what that made her.
Jace tugged on a simple white shirt to avoid sunburn, while she sat down on the edge of a patio chair. “How are you doing? Really.”
They both knew what she was talking about without her saying, By the way, how do you feel about my being your mother and not just the aunt who never visits?
He shrugged. “I’m a little spun. I won’t lie. I’ve had time to think. Time to talk to Caden.”
She looked down at her hands, clutched in her lap. “Any conclusions?”
“Oh, a few”, he said. “You know, growing up you were a hero to me. You were out having adventures in space. I would read everything you sent to Da. There was nothing more exciting than a letter from Tanta Ari. I loved you a little bit more than the other kids. It’s nice to know why.”
She exhaled a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. “I thought you’d hate me for upsetting your life.”
“There was some of that. Caden let me know what the stakes were back then in a hurry. Besides,” he tossed his towel onto a chair. “I figure it only upsets me to the sum that I let it. Mam and Da raised me. I love them and nothing can change that.”
Again, she breathed out. Jace noticed, raising a brow expectantly, so she explained. “I was terrified. Your mam was like a mother to me through my whole pregnancy. She held me when I cried, and she loved you so much. I was so afraid that this would hurt her most of all.”
“Damn”, Jace looked at her in surprise. “Caden wasn’t kidding.”
“What?” Ari wriggled a little in the seat. Caden had been sharing thoughts about her with the son she barely knew. She wasn’t sure she liked the idea of him selling their son on her.
“He said you never think of yourself at all. It’s like you ceased to exist the day you gave me up, and now, you, his words, almost reflexively worry about everyone else first. I thought there was no way someone could be that selfless, but you actually are, aren’t you?”
She shook her head. “No. That’s not.. .”
Caden’s laugh rang across the air as he threw a ball at her nephew in the water. She looked at Jace who nodded at his father before continuing to speak. “I’m telling you this because I love you. That man would die for you, and never kid yourself otherwise.”
Her son had just offered her his affection and concern, she realized. Jace loved her, and he felt like he needed to give her relationship advice. Sort of a come down for an independent woman. “Who’s the adult here?”
“Cara would clear that up for you in a heartbeat”, he complained, as he leaned his head back with his eyes closed to the sunlight. She watched him carefully, seeing the tension in his face for the second time.
“She l
ikes you, you know.” His eyes popped open. “Relax, you have all the time in the world, kid. She’s right. You just have to be patient.”.
“Hers is limited though. If I don’t hurry up, she could be a corpse.”
Ari grinned at his joke. They sat in a surprisingly comfortable silence.
“I was thinking of turning over the business management to someone else. I haven’t told Caden yet, or anyone. I wanted to know what you thought first.”
“Oh,” Jace said. “Gonna retire in your old age?”
“Something like that. You feel like listening to your old Tanta’s stories about the good old days for a while?”
Jace nodded. “I know how that kind of thing makes you old people feel valuable. I could listen a bit.” Ari laughed, really laughed. It hadn’t been a regular event in twelve years.
Sitting in the sunshine by a pool, she got to know her outrageous son for the second time.
*****#*****
Caden played with the Badu brood, while sneaking peeks at Ari and his son. He looked around at the house he’d been building for almost twelve years, since he’d found this oasis in the wasteland. He’d never have said it out loud, but this is what it had been for all that time.
Family. A family he didn’t have yet. For Ari.
Even as he watched a glowing sunset alone, he wondered how he’d convince her to stay with him. The wasteland, they called this place, but he didn’t see waste. He saw unspeakable beauty in the dunes and plateaus.
He heard the footsteps before Kent even turned the corner. He wore civilian clothes, but no one would ever mistake him for a civilian.
“Where is Ari?” Kent asked.
“She’s upstairs taking a nap. Everything hit her at once, I think.”
“Understandable. What about you? Everything hitting you at once too?”
Only Kent knew what Tallon had done to him in that jungle on Sensor Prime, and he’d finally watched the bastard die. It helped, but it would never completely wash away the memory or the scars.
Caden thought about it before he answered. “Yeah, but in a very good way. I have more than I had, Kent. This house is full for a change.”
