“You never said anything. Why didn’t you? When he died, I blamed you. Why did you let me do that?”
“Jessie, I spent a day in that man’s mind, connected to him, and his thoughts scared me. When he woke up and attacked me, shit, Jess, if it hadn’t been for Kayden, I wouldn’t have survived, but I knew you would never believe me. You thought he loved you and you loved him back. You were so young, but I couldn’t take the chance of having you shun me again. Then when you met Chase, I thought, well, maybe now, but you wouldn’t listen, still wouldn’t listen. It was easier to let the hate build between us than try to love you. But there is more to it. Hell, Jess, I have been jealous of you since we met. You had the family I should have been a part of wrapped around your finger. Our parents, Lance, and even Declan could never seem to look beyond you to see me, so I gave up and quit trying.”
“Shit, Jen, I made that easy for you. What are we going to do now?”
“We are going to move forward,” Jenna took Jessie's hand in hers, “and you are going to swear never to call me Jen again,” Jenna laughed.
“I think I can do that. So, you and Cash?”
“Yep, me and Cash. How do you feel about that? I know you loved him once.”
“Jenna, I was a kid, barely fourteen years old, and Cash was larger than life. He still is,” Jessie said, wiggling her eyebrows in a lewd manner.
“You have no idea,” Jenna laughed.
“The truth is, I wanted to believe what he was telling me, but I didn’t feel the same way. I figured that out when I met Chase. The mating instinct, bond, and connection are so much more than any silly childhood infatuation. I see you know that now,” Jessie said, looking down at Jenna’s wrist.
“Yeah, it’s pretty intense.”
“Chase and I talked last night for a long time, and we both agreed to remain a part of Gemini, pledging our loyalty to Cash. But neither of us will do that unless you are okay with it. I won’t cause you any more pain. If our presences do, we’ll go away.”
Jenna had no idea what plans Cash was making or how it would affect the rest of Gemini. They needed to talk. She wouldn’t mind getting to know her sister better without all the bad feeling getting in the way, but she wouldn’t do it if it bothered Cash. He and Jessie had history, something she and Cash didn’t.
“I can’t answer that, Jessie, I’m sorry we haven’t even talked about it. But I think a good start would be for you and Cash to talk. You need to tell him all about it. How you tracked him for Declan for years. That you were always able to find him, but he thought you were dead. I don’t think either of you can move on unless that happens. Then there’s Chase. I know how I felt when you and the Gunther’s came into my life. It hurts.”
“They are your parents too, Jenna; I know they haven’t made it easy, but they do care about you. I just think the guilt of their actions affected how they dealt with you. I think you need to take some of your own advice and talk to them, put it in the past and move on if you can.”
“Maybe.”
The door opened, and Cash stood there with a tray in his hands, looking right at Jenna. She felt stalked and devoured, all at once. His eyes never moved from hers like she was the only person in the room. She wasn’t going to lie to herself, it made her feel good.
Jessie patted her leg, excusing herself, murmuring, “Alpha” before she cleared the door.
“You were supposed to still be in bed.”
“I am still technically in bed,” Jenna said, motioning to the piece of furniture she was sitting on. She was kind of ashamed of herself but not really when she straightened her shoulders, pushing her breasts out. The nightgown was lame, but it did show some cleavage. She liked watching Cash’s eyes start to glow.
“Hmm, maybe, but I was thinking more when I left you this morning.”
“And how would that be?”
“Naked.”
“That can be arranged,” Jenna said cheekily, “but since you brought me coffee, I think it is going to have to wait for a while. Girls have to have priorities you know.”
“Damn, my mate is choosing coffee over naked fun time. This doesn’t bode well for our future, Jenna,” Cash said, shaking his head and walking over to the nightstand with the tray.
“Oh, I don’t know, I think you should think of it as a challenge, maybe make me want naked fun time over coffee. Coffee is just so…”
Jenna hadn’t gotten any more words out of her mouth before Cash had deposited the tray on the stand next to the bed and had her pinned underneath him, kissing her hard and deep. The man conquered her, no part of her mouth, tongue, and teeth unexplored, leaving her breathless. Cradled between her thighs, she could feel him growing harder. Forget the damn coffee, this was way better.
Jenna was in a daze as Cash nuzzled against her neck, leaving biting kisses, moving further down her body. Jenna could feel his hands pushing up her nightgown while his body moved further down her body. When he stopped, Jenna forced her eyes open. He was on the floor between her legs, smiling. Her nightgown was bunched under her breast, her legs spread open for him.
“Still thinking about coffee?
Jenna was going to say no, but that smiled spurred her on.
“I don’t know, it does smell awfully good. Maybe, I should taste it and weigh my options?”
Cash smiled but didn’t say anything, instead, trailing gentle kisses up the inside of her thigh, the soft brush of his goatee and lips causing her body to break out in goosebumps and a deep need to cum settled in her lower stomach. Coffee was the last thing on her mind.
Cash had a hand planted on the bed on either side of her hips. He was everything—gorgeous, kind, and hers. The bond was allowing her to feel what he did. It was more than lust but not quite love. She could accept that. Right now, she needed him, every part of him. Jenna let her eyes wander, taking in his muscled forearms to his biceps to his strong shoulders, all covered in tattoos. She noticed a bear and several numbers, knives, and roses. The tattoo that started on his bicep and ran up toward his neck intrigued her the most; it was in a language she wasn’t familiar with and surrounded by thorns and barbed wire. She wanted to ask him what it meant, but she lost all track of what she was thinking when his head came down to press a kiss on her lower belly, right above her mound.
Again, his soft goatee brushed erotically against her skin; she loved that goatee. The feeling caused her to suck in a breath, her arousal shooting toward the stars. Her pussy fluttered, begging for more, and Jenna moaned, but he stopped again, just letting his breath linger on her skin. His mouth was so close to where she needed him, but he was holding back. Jenna watched a smile pull at the corners of his mouth.
“Don’t you know to never challenge an Alpha, Jenna?”
Jenna moaned, reaching out to touch him, but Cash moved away.
“I think it’s about time for that coffee, don’t you? Or are you more interested in naked fun time now?”
This time her moan wasn’t caused by arousal but frustration.
“I think that says it all, babe,” Cash laughed softly, his mouth and tongue finding her core. Just barely a touch at first, just enough to have her writhing on the bed. He was teasing her, and Jenna wasn’t sure if she liked it. With his big hands holding her still, she lifted her legs onto the bed, planting her feet on the bedding, trying to show him what she needed and wanted. But his grip tightened, not allowing her to move an inch as he continued to work her with his mouth and his tongue. Cash moved in closer, pushing his shoulders between her thighs. He was so big, her thighs were held wide open to him as he continued to torture her with his mouth, only giving her little touches. Jenna felt his thumb brush over her clit, making her arch under him.
“Yes, please, Cash.”
“That isn’t good enough, Jenna, I’m going to make you beg for it.”
It didn’t take her long to start begging, his talented fingers and tongue taking her to the verge of climax, only to back off and start over again. By that time, she
didn’t even know what she was saying. Please, Cash and some other things left her mouth.
She felt him add another finger, stretching her further, the tiny pinch of pain throwing her over the edge. Her head fell back, and her back arched as she came hard, drenching both of them.
Cash didn’t waste any time before he moved above her, thrusting inside her body hard, deep, and fast. The feel of him inside her, thrusting back and forth, caused her orgasm to keep going. The orgasm was devastating her, but she couldn’t look away from Cash.
He had risen up on his arms, his head dropping, his eyes locked on where they were joined. He watched himself as he continued to pump in and out of her. Jenna was transfixed, seeing the look of raw lust and awe on his face as he pumped into her body, it was the most erotic thing she had ever witnessed.
“Damn, baby,” Cash growled. Lifting his hand, he put Jenna’s legs over his forearms and stood, the change in position allowing him to push deeper, harder. Jenna loved the growls and grunts he made as he pounded into her roughly. Jenna could feel her second orgasm rising.
“Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” she screamed.
She felt his arms release her legs but was too caught up in the sensations to look at what he was doing. When she felt the warm wet embrace of his lips around her nipple, she sighed, but Cash didn’t stop at that. He sucked on her nipple hard, then bit lightly enough to pull her breast away from her body. As he tugged, she arched under him, her body having a mind of its own.
“Yes. Oh God, yes,” Jenna screamed.
The roll of his hips and the grind of his pubic bone against her clit with each thrust had Jenna climbing toward another orgasm.
“That’s it, Jenna, let go, give it to me.”
She heard his words but was unable to do anything, the orgasm building now bigger than before. She could hear his breath as it sawed in and out of him, felt the slickness of his sweat covered chest on hers as he pumped and thrust into her body. Everything happening caused her body to still, that one moment where nothing existed except for them before it exploded in lights and pleasure.
It only took one more thrust of his body, and she shattered, letting out a soft, low moan as her orgasm rolled over her body. Cash soon followed, pumping into her hard twice, then he went stiff above her. Jenna forced her eyes open, she didn’t want to miss this moment. The muscles in his throat were taut, the veins bulging, his face looked as though he was in pain. Through the bond, she felt his pleasure. When she felt the heat of him coming deep inside of her, his body shaking, vulnerable to her, Jenna knew she loved this man.
His body collapsed on top of her, his solid weight and warmth feeling so good. Jenna wrapped her arms around him tight, letting him know without words she was feeling the same way he was at the moment. She stroked his back, butt, and shoulders. Her fingers glided over his head, and anywhere else she could put them. That just didn’t seem to be enough, so she pressed soft kisses along his jaw, his throat, and ear. It took a few moments for him to rouse enough to raise his head and look down at her.
His hand came up and brushed the hair away from her forehead, then his head dropped, his mouth touching hers in a soft kiss.
“Are you okay?”
Jenna smiled, she was more than okay.
“Not even thinking about coffee right now.”
“Shit, babe,” Cash laughed, “I wanted to give you soft and sweet, but hell, you make me lose control.”
“We have a lifetime for soft and sweet, Cash, I’m becoming a big fan of rough and devastating.”
“Yeah, I think I am too.”
They laid there for a while, neither of them moving.
Chapter Eighteen
Cash moved Jenna until they were laying on the bed more fully and comfortably, neither of them willing to move much more. Cash loved the feeling of Jenna next to him curled up, and he didn’t want to break the moment, but they had so much to discuss, and both of them had a meeting in less than an hour. Cash needed to tell her what had happened and what was going to happen next as long as she agreed.
It was weird to be so connected to someone but not really know them. The things he did know about Jenna he respected. She was loyal, caring, and selfless. She was also a loner who liked to run away from her problems. He planned on changing that. If she was going to run, he wanted her to run to him, nowhere else.
“Babe, we need to talk,” Cash said as he played with Jenna’s hair, sifting it through his fingers, letting it fall, only to put it up again. He loved her cinnamon and vanilla scent and the way that her hair seemed to glow blue in the sunlight filtering into the room from the window. He was surprised when she sat up and leaned toward the nightstand, getting the cup of coffee he had brought her.
“I think I’m going to need coffee to get through this.”
“Babe, don’t be like that, you don’t even know what I’m going to say, yet.”
“Let me guess, it will start with ‘I need to, or You should?’”
Cash pulled her back carefully, not letting the coffee she had in her hand spill but with enough force to let her know he wasn’t happy right now.
“No, from now on,” Cash said, looking her right in the eye, “everything will be, We should or What do you think. Don’t put me in the same category as everyone else in your life, Jenna, because I guaran-damn-tee, I will fight any mold you try to make.”
“We have a lot to figure out, we need to get to know each other better, but Jenna, your days of running are over. I will always find you now, there isn’t a place on earth you could hide from me. Do you understand?”
Jenna leaned back further into the bed, a scowl on her pretty face.
“I don’t want to hide from you, but I’m scared. I don’t know what happened while I was in there with Jacks, but I felt you, all of you. Gemini. But that isn’t the worst of it, I also know Declan and Uncle Matt know what you did too. I haven’t talked to them, but Cash, this is what they always wanted. Giving it to them seems wrong. What they will expect. What they will ask of you, everyone, I don’t know if I can live with that.”
“Do you have any idea why I choose to live alone, so far away from another soul I couldn’t even get you help when you needed it?”
“Tell me.” Cash knew he wasn’t going to like what he was about to hear, but for Jenna, he would listen. He would try to understand, then he would go out and beat the hell out of the people who had harmed her.
“Uncle Matt found me when I was five years old at an orphanage. My file was sealed, but I was deemed unadoptable, something I was made aware of daily. When he took me away from there, I was thrilled. He scared me a little, but he had been so patient and kind, and he brought me Kayden.”
“Kayden Walker, the Bravo Team Alpha?” Cash didn’t know how he felt about Jenna being close to another Alpha. He could hear the affection she had for the other man when she said his name. After the man in question attacked him the same night Jenna saved Jacks, he started to think there might be more to their relationship, and his bear was clawing at him to get free.
“Yeah, that Kayden,” Jenna laughed and patted him on the chest. “Calm down, Kayden is like a brother to me, always has been. I do love him but only in that way, like you do Jacks or Ryleigh.”
That appeased his bear in a small way, but it wasn’t much. Cash still didn’t like it. He still needed to tell Jenna what went down with her so-called brother, but that would have to wait, he needed her focused on where she was now. He needed her to open up to him, so he knew what to do next.
“Anyway, Uncle Matt was gone a lot, so Kayden and I were raised by nannies. But when he was home, he would shower me with affection, gifts, and basically anything I wanted as long as I did one thing or another. I didn’t realize it then, but he was testing me.”
“But you were a child.”
“Yeah, it didn’t matter. He did the same to Kayden, only without the affection and gifts. He demanded it, or there would be consequences. I don’t think Uncle Matt abuse
d him, but he wasn’t easy on him either. More like a very strict parent. Everything pretty much remained the same until I was fourteen and started to change when my gifts started to manifest. Kayden had hurt his hand in the woods, damn, I remember it like it was yesterday. He had been playing with one of Uncle Matt’s knives and cut himself deeply. I already knew he was a shifter and what that involved, I even knew his healing would take over, and he would be okay, but there was so much blood. I grabbed his hand, and my gift took over.”
“Pretty scary.”
“You have no idea. We both ended up on our asses. Kayden begged me not to tell anyone, and I was so scared, I agreed, but Uncle Matt already knew somehow. That’s when the tests intensified; he would bring other children over who were hurt or sick to “play” with me, always saying, “Now, Jenna, you can’t let them know what you’re doing.”
“Fuck me.”
“Yeah, every time I used my gift, I would get weaker and weaker, and I couldn’t let the person go. I would know things about them or know when they were going to do things. I started to refuse; I wouldn’t allow anyone to come near me except for Kayden. That’s when Uncle Matt and Declan brought Jessie and the Gunthers to me. Instant family, the only problem was they didn’t want me. Jessie was their golden child, and I was the one they didn’t want to remember. The one they gave up to get what they wanted. I was this constant reminder of how low two people would go to get what they wanted, and they let me know it. It wasn’t overt, but it was always there. Jessie, on the other hand, welcomed me with open arms as long as I played along with whatever she was doing at the time. It’s funny, I didn’t even know you, but she talked about you constantly that first year. I had this image in my mind, and I always wondered what it would be like if we ever met. I even saw you a couple of times when Jessie was sent out to find you.”
Cash: NAC & The Holly Group (Alpha Team Book 6) Page 12
