by Tracy Ellen
On the way down in the elevators, I overheard Mac ask Stella if everything was okay. My niece insisted everything was fine. Her voice rose in irritation when she answered her mother, which told me the opposite--everything was not fine, but I wisely kept my mouth shut.
Stella’s style was totally different than Anna’s traditional modern bride. Stella was neo-hippy meets high fashion. Her attendants, Jazy, Sammy, Kate and I, were wearing our hair long and flat ironed straight.
I had the same stylist as yesterday. The bruises on my upper arms were darker today, but she fixed me up again, so that they disappeared.
Stella and I were the first two women done with our hair and makeup. When she realized she’d forgotten the bag with her attendant’s gifts in the suite, Stella said, “I’ll meet you all in twenty minutes at the Bridal Room to get dressed.”
We were putting on our dresses with Stella in the same room we had with Anna.
Betty Jasnik protested, “No, sweetie, you stay here and rest. I’m more than happy to run up there when my hair is done.”
“Or I could go, I’m almost ready,” Mac counteroffered.
Stella hugged Betty quickly and then Mac. “Thanks, Moms. But the walk will do me good.”
I stood up and grabbed my purse. “Hey, Stella, I’ll tag along with you because I need to stop by my suite, too.”
“Okay.” Stella smiled at her friends and Jazy. “Bel and I will see you guys in twenty.”
Billy, my store manager called while we were walking back to the twenty-ninth floor wearing the Bellagio Spa bathrobes. He was phoning his manager counterpart to wish her a happy wedding day. Stella thanked him in a subdued tone, and then passed her cell to me. Billy and I chatted about business at the bookstore. It felt like we had been gone to Vegas for two weeks. Billy laughingly reassured me it had been two days, and nothing exciting had happened at Bel’s in the interim.
Stella dropped me off at my suite. A minute later there was a soft knock on the door. Thinking it might be Luke, I ran to answer it before stopping to consider he wouldn’t need to knock.
Opening the door, I was surprised to see it was Stella. Her dark hair was in a fancy updo and studded with diamond brilliants. Her makeup was professionally applied by an expert. But seeing her wrapped in the thick spa robe and staring at me forlornly with stricken eyes, she looked like a little girl playing dress up.
Stella’s lips started quivering uncontrollable.
“Stella, sweetness! What’s wrong?”
I ushered her into the suite and led her to the sofa.
“I’ve been lying for weeks and I thought I could do this, but I can’t!” She burst out before breaking down into sobs.
I stroked her back, uttering soothing, calming sounds, my mind racing. “Shhh, Stella. It can’t be that bad. Lying about what?”
She sat back, wiping at her eyes while laughing shortly. “Oh, yes it can.” She looked down at her lap, as if unable to meet my eyes. “I haven’t told anybody, but I’m not pregnant.”
“Okay…” I said slowly, feeling my way past the shock. “Do you mean not now, or not ever?”
“Not now.” As if exhausted beyond endurance, she fell back onto the sofa. Her voice was a dull monotone more alarming then the wild sobbing. “I had a spontaneous abortion on the morning of your surprise birthday party.”
“A spontaneous…” I repeated in alarm, picturing Stella’s cha-cha blowing up. “What does that mean? It sounds terrible! Are you okay?”
“I am now, but it was terrible.” Stella gave a tiny shrug. “The doctor says it happens all the time to women in the first few weeks of pregnancy. Normally, you don’t even realize you’re pregnant. You think your period’s late. I guess in the next two weeks or so when you bleed heavier than normal and feel crampy, you think it’s due to finally getting your late period and not because your were pregnant. But something was wrong and my body rejected…”she choked on a small sob, but continued, “the fetus. The doctor said I could have more kids in the future, but something wasn’t right with this baby and Mother Nature stepped in.”
“Oh Stella, I’m so sorry.” I gathered her into my arms, and hugging her tight, asked softly, “You haven’t told Eric George?”
“No,” she replied in a small voice against my neck.
“Why not?”
After a beat while she struggled to calm down, she whispered, “Because of all the wedding plans. I got so caught up and wanted to get married so bad that I didn’t want anything to ruin it.”
“Oh, Stell!” I murmured, rocking my crying niece in my arms. “You know I’m the last person to understand that kind of reasoning, but I’ll try. Tell me, what were you thinking?”
She hiccupped on a small laugh and sat back. “What can I say? I think I went a little crazy with the whole idea of my wedding. I was so sad about losing the baby, too. I was scared if I told Eric George that I wasn’t pregnant, he’d call off the wedding.”
I nodded. “What changed your mind today?”
Her shoulders started heaving again with quiet sobs while she tried to talk. “It was like I woke up from a bad dream this morning. Now I don’t care what Eric George thinks because I want to call off the wedding. We never would be getting married this soon if it weren’t for the baby. I love him, but I don’t even know him that well.” She wiped angrily at the tears spilling down her cheeks. “I don’t have to get married, do I, Auntie Bel? I know everybody is going to be really pissed at me for waiting so long to say anything. My poor mom has spent so much money and helped me plan everything. Oh God, what will NanaBel think when she hears, especially after the baron has spent all this money, too…”
Her voice broke off at the thought of what she had to face by stopping the wedding at the last minute. I didn’t blame her. It was a daunting prospect.
“Stella, are you positively sure this is what you want?” I forced myself to ask her, even if inside I was happy she didn’t want to get married.
I was extremely sad about the baby, too, but I wasn’t going to be hypocritical about the situation. I was supportive that Stella hadn’t wanted to abort her baby, but having a child at eighteen was never what I wanted for my niece. Nor did I want her to marry a guy just to avoid people being angry at her or to avoid gossip.
“Yes, it’s what I want,” she replied sadly. She lifted her head and repeated more forcefully, “Yes, I’m sure.”
“Alright then, you’re not getting married today,” I stated firmly. “The rest is details. But they’re details we’ll need to handle delicately to avoid hurt feelings as much as possible. The Jasniks are a nice family.”
“They are so nice. Oh my God, poor Lucy is going to hate me,” Stella cried out while I got her a tissue to blow her nose. “So what should I do next?”
I sat down again and looked her in the eye. “This is your deal. You tell me. What do you think should happen next?”
My niece looked a little startled. I think Stella believed I would rush into the breach and start issuing directives how to get her out of this pickle as easily as possible. But my niece is a smart girl used to making decisions. She quickly realized I was waiting for her to tell me the first steps on how to solve her problem and she nodded slowly.
Stella glanced at the time on her phone. “Everyone’s waiting. We’re supposed to be down in the bridal room putting my dress on right now.”
On cue, her phone buzzed with a text, then another.
Her voice sounded a little uncertain. “I guess I should talk to Eric George and tell him what’s happened and call off the wedding?”
“Yes, I agree that is definitely the first thing you need to do. How can I help?”
She thought for a moment. “Could you send Eric George up here? I don’t want to talk with him on the phone, you know how that is.”
“No problem. I’ll go find him now.” I stood up and Stella stood beside me. “I think you should call NanaBel right after I leave. She will be waiting around to begin to FaceTime.”<
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“I will.”She nodded and swiped nervous hands on the sides of her robe. “Would it be right for you to tell the parents what is going on?” She added quickly, “I’ll talk to them personally, but I just can’t stand the thought of everybody waiting around in the chapel wondering what’s going on.”
“I think it should come from you, not me. What I’ll do is send the parents up here a few minutes after Eric George, but before I say anything to the rest of the people.” I chuckled grimly. “You’d better count on talking to them sooner rather than later, especially your mother.”
“You’re right,” Stella grimaced ruefully, “I will. Eric George and I should tell them about the baby together.” She sniffed dejectedly. “All the parents were really looking forward to being grandparents. Would you tell the others in the chapel, so they all hear it at once?”
She still looked exhausted, but by unloading the heavy secret she’d been living under the past two weeks, the pallor of guilty fear was already diminishing.
“I’ll wait and tell them once your mom, Diego, and the Jasniks leave.”
“Thank you, Auntie Bel,” Stella breathed in gratitude as we hugged tightly.
“Anything for you, Stell,” I replied back softly. “I’m sorry about the baby, and I’m even sorrier you went through that sad time alone. When you talk with Eric George and the parents, keep in mind no matter how mad or sad anybody gets with you, it will pass. Your family will always love you.”
She nodded quickly and whispered, “I know. I’m so lucky.”
I leaned back and held her by the shoulders, saying bracingly, “Now, you’re absolutely sure you don’t want to marry Eric George today, that he can’t change your mind if he begs? Because I don’t want to send everybody off to the casinos if you two are going to come traipsing through the doors in fifteen minutes…”
She interrupted me. “No, I’m positive I do not want to get married. I want to curl up and die at the thought of hurting Eric George, but I hope he understands.” The tears started again. “I guess I deserve it if everybody thinks I’m acting like a bitchy little drama queen, but that’s my own fault for being so screwed up and waiting this long.”
“Stella, you didn’t do anything wrong that can’t be fixed. We’d all be here for Anna and Reg anyway. The Jasniks aren’t going to be happy if their son is hurt, but they seem like the decent sort. They’re going to understand and everything will work out as it should. Are we good?” At her quick nod, I added, “Chin up, sweetness. Here we go.”
Stella left to return to her suite down the hall. Taking two minutes to shed the robe and put on jeans and a sweater, I went as quickly as possible down to the chapel area. I headed to the room set aside for the groom first.
Eric George was pacing the floor inside while his father and Diego stood chatting. His three friends lounged in chairs, looking grown up in their formal black tuxes, even as they played games on their phones.
I squared my shoulders and pasted on a smile.
When he saw me at the door, Eric George paled. I felt a stab of pity for what he was about to endure. I wasn’t sure how he felt inside about becoming a father, but finding out about their baby was bound to hurt. Eric George was young, too young to get married in my opinion. However, it wasn’t like he and Stella had to permanently break up. If their love was meant to endure, they would work through their problems. If not, it was better to find out now rather than get married to save face and divorce later.
Eric George rushed off to Stella’s suite without another word when I said she wanted to speak to him privately.
I asked Diego, Jerry and the guys to join the rest of the family in the East Chapel while I went to get the mothers and the bridesmaids.
I squared my shoulders twice before entering the Bridal Room. All eyes locked on me immediately.
“Can everybody follow me into the East Chapel?” I asked.
Surprisingly, Mac didn’t question me. Her eyes were anxious, though, as she passed me by with Betty and Lucy Jasnik in tow, and I subtly nodded in response.
Her aqua blue eyes clouded over and her shoulders slumped briefly, but then she straightened. Mac probably had the same suspicions as me that something has been wrong with Stella for days. I knew Mac would always support her daughter, and deep down, Stella knew that, as well. My niece didn’t come to me first out of favoritism. Stella came to me first because she was a good kid that rarely did anything wrong and was ashamed of her behavior. She dreaded disappointing her mother when the truth was told.
Jazy raised her brows, and Kate and Sammy were worried, but none of them said a word as I followed them into the East Chapel. The room was intimately small and, except for the missing bride and groom, full of all our friends and family anxiously talking in low voices and waiting for me to appear.
The chapel was smothered in pure white floral arrangements intertwined with black and coral pink ribbons. Swathes of the flowers and ribbons were draped on the outside of the benches on the aisles. Lavish bouquets in vases filled the deep sills of the stained glass windows.
It was a sophisticated yet charming tableau and I was suddenly depressed it would be wasted. I was grateful for the snowstorm that had cancelled my grandmother’s arrival. This was not going to be fun.
I took a deep breath and looked around, my eyes immediately seeking Luke. As if he sensed I needed him, he excused himself through the throng to reach my side and took my hand.
The warmth of his strong hand clasping mine steadied me and his calm gaze on my face settled me. “Are you alright, Sweetheart?”
“I think I will be once we get through this next ten minutes.” I tried to smile in reassurance, but failed miserably. Not even the devastatingly attractive sight of him in a formal black and white tuxedo cheered me up. Well, not as much as it normally would.
“Can I do anything to help?” he asked, squeezing my hand.
“Yes, stay right here with me and don’t leave.” I don’t know who was more surprised at my stark neediness, Luke or me.
But he didn’t seem to mind and responded by putting his arm around my waist.
I called out, “Okay, I’m not going to pull any punches.” Everybody went quiet. “Stella has changed her mind about getting married and called off the wedding. She’s talking to Eric George right now.”
Anna hugged Reg at her side and cried out, “Oh no, but why?”
Almost everybody echoed her question. Betty Jasnik grabbed onto Mac’s arm with both hands, crying out a loud gasp of denial.
Diego demanded, “Bel, what is going on?”
Little Lucy Jasnik, darling in pink ruffles, long curls, and shiny black Mary Jane’s, clutched her basket of flowers and began crying loudly. “Mom, does this mean I don’t get to be the flower girl anymore for Eric George and Stella?”
Jerry knelt down to comfort Lucy while Betty patted her shoulder and tearfully replied, “I don’t know what’s happening yet, baby.”
I looked at Mac, Diego, Jerry, and Betty. “Please, I know you have a lot of questions, but I don’t have the answers,” I fibbed smoothly. “Stella has sent me to be the messenger and asks that the parents please come up to her suite. Lucy, will you stay and hang with me down here? We’ll practice going up and down the aisle for fun, okay?”
“Okay.” The little girl stopped crying and smiled, revealing that cute missing front tooth. “Can I wear your shoes?”
Surprised, I looked down at my shiny black high heels. “Sure, I guess.”
They mouthed their thanks and the four parents immediately walked out of the double doors.
I balanced with a hand on Luke’s shoulder while I took off one shoe, and then the other. Directing Lucy onto a bench, I pulled off her shoes and left her to it while I straightened up to face the silent group behind us.
It was difficult, but I swept my eyes past the smirk on the ex-cousin’s face, rather than slap it off. She was the only person not bothering to hide her delight at this unexpected turn of events.<
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Keeping my back to Lucy, I spoke in a low voice. “I do know what’s going on. Stella wanted to be the one to tell the parents what happened, but she asked me to give all of you her apologies and explain why they’re not getting married today.”
I glanced back at Lucy, but she was humming as she worked on clasping a shoe and not paying the least attention to me.
My voice choked up and I found it hard to swallow past the lump in my throat. Suddenly, my eyes were overflowing while everyone stared at me in surprise. The surprise turned into shock when my words came out in a strangled sob, “Stella lost the baby.”
“Christ, those poor kids.” Luke pulled me into his arms and we sat down on a bench. He rocked me like I had Stella a few minutes ago. The motion was comforting. “I’m so sorry, Anabel.”
I patted his chest, resting my head on his shoulder.
Jazy came over and sat down heavily, tears welling in her eyes. “Ah, this sucks. Is Stell going to be alright, Bel?”
“I believe so.” I nodded quickly, running a finger under each wet eye. “It happened two weeks ago and she’s seen a doctor.”
I repeated Stella’s explanation of a spontaneous abortion.
Anna burst into tears and Reg sat down hard on the bench next to us. Soon the room was full of sniffling sobs and men solemnly offering their condolences, as they swiped at an eye here and there.
Until now, I’ve never known anybody personally who’s miscarried their baby. I hadn’t realized how deep the bond I felt for Stella’s child had already grown in the short time she’d been pregnant. After my initial practical thought it might be a blessing in disguise due to their young ages, now I was feeling the crushing pain that little life was gone. We’d never have the chance to know her.
I accepted the tissues from Luke with thanks and dabbed at my eyes. A few minutes later, I was composed enough to continue. “After she lost the baby, Stella was hurting and confused. For a while, she couldn’t face the pain. Instead, she obsessed about the wedding and her desire to get married. She feels terrible she waited so long to tell us about the baby, but she can’t go through with the wedding today. The main reason she and Eric George decided to get married so quickly was due to her pregnancy. Without the baby, Stella feels it’s not right for her and Eric George to jump into marriage.”
