by Heather Boyd
She grimaced. She’d hoped he might have forgotten that business. When she’d met Rosemary during the previous winter, she’d seized the chance to ask some frank questions she couldn’t ask of anyone else. Grayling would never approve. “A personal matter.”
“You were my friend first.” He scowled. “At least I can be certain I’ll learn what it is before Rothwell does.”
Arabella faced the garden too. Merrick had been instrumental in seeing Lady Grayling’s advice put into practice. With Rosemary’s help, she’d been as well prepared as any new bride for what had happened in Merrick’s bed, and it still hadn’t been enough. She caught herself many times dwelling on what they’d done together. She’d been completely unprepared for how the experience had changed her. She could not stop thinking of Merrick today.
“Don’t tell me he knows too?”
When she winced, Grayling stood and walked a few steps away. “For goodness sake, why on earth would you tell Rothwell?”
She stared at his broad back, feeling nothing but friendship for Grayling and mild irritation that he wasn’t taking her silence well. “Because the matter wasn’t something that concerned you.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “Are you ill?”
“No.”
“Penniless?”
Now that was a question for another day. She did not know exactly how her finances stood at the present moment. She would likely need Gray’s assistance, or Merrick’s if they continued as friends, to discover where she stood if she did not want to deal with Farnsworth directly. “Not quite.”
He stared hard at her. “With child and the bastard won’t offer to marry you?”
The terrace door banged behind them and Rosemary hurried out, one hand held protectively over her growing belly. “Grayling, do end your inquisition and lower your voice. Can you not see our dear Arabella’s heart is already under siege?”
“What the devil!” He turned on his wife angrily. “You stay out of it. Don’t give me the business of it not being my business. If not for your interference then I might have been able to solve Arabella’s problem already.”
Rosemary’s lips firmed in a tight line, her eyes narrowed to slits. “Is that so?”
With no way now to deflect Grayling and a fight brewing between them over the misunderstanding, Arabella raised her hands to admit defeat. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, this is ridiculous. I will not have the pair of you fight over who is the better friend. I went to London with the intention of finding a lover, Gray. You certainly would not have helped me with that. I asked Rosemary’s advice on intimacy and she was kind enough to answer my questions. There, now you know it all.”
Grayling spun so fast to face her that he staggered a few steps. His mouth opened, then closed. He glanced between Arabella and his wife and then spun about again and left in a rush, heading for the stables.
Rosemary sighed heavily and sank onto the bench beside Arabella. “Maybe next time he will believe me when I say he doesn’t need to know. From what I’ve gleaned, he sees you as a sister. One never wants to imagine one’s siblings engaged in intimate acts.”
“Perhaps.” Arabella slumped. “What am I going to do?”
“I take it that Rothwell has turned your head around.”
Rosemary just might be the most perceptive woman she’d ever met. “I never said it was him.”
“My dear, you did not have to.” Rosemary shifted closer. “I have eyes enough to see a hungry man staring at what he wants to devour. It surprises me that Gray hasn’t guessed the two of you are involved. You have spent quite a few days with him alone and I’ve never seen a man so reluctant to leave a lady, even in the care of his friends.”
A smile tugged at Arabella’s lips as she thought of Merrick’s protracted leave taking. “He is protective.”
“I think with good reason. What haven’t you told Grayling about the season?”
“Quite a bit. I didn’t want to worry him.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I don’t know that it would do any good.” She sighed. “I failed as a chaperone, was physically assaulted by my brother-in-law, almost forced into marriage with someone I barely knew and didn’t care for at all, then slept with a man who should have been wicked except he claimed to love me.”
Rosemary slipped an arm around her back and hugged her close. “A busy season.”
She glanced sideways. “Far more than I anticipated.”
“Life can be like that,” Rosemary said and then sighed heavily. “I see now why you were reluctant to tell Gray the whole story and why Rothwell has become protective of you. Are you all right?”
Arabella was about to answer when a large hand clapped over her shoulder.
“Who the hell seduced you?” Grayling demanded.
Arabella sat up at the anger in his voice. A hot flush had swept over his features and he looked fit to kill.
“When did you return?”
“Not soon enough,” he growled. “Now answer me. Who do I have to kill?”
Rosemary clucked her tongue. “Really, darling, can you not guess who might have a claim on Arabella’s affections?”
His gaze darted between them and then his eyes narrowed. “Rothwell? Damn him. I’ll kill the bastard when he returns.”
“Oh no, you will not.” Arabella wasn’t about to be bullied by Grayling. She was more than capable of managing her own intimate affairs. “Not when I asked him to.”
His eyes widened, and then his stare became quite unnerving. Was this what it was like to have a brother to answer to? All of a sudden he grinned. “This is perfect. He’ll marry you.”
Rosemary shook her head sadly and stood. “I’ll leave him to you, my dear, but if you need help banging some sense into his head, I’ll do my best.”
Although Arabella had never held back in prior conversations with Grayling, she wouldn’t have minded having Rosemary at her side for this one. “Excuse me?”
Grayling tucked his hands behind his back and began to pace along the flagstone squares. “I should be furious, but there is an easy way out of this situation. I don’t want to lose my best friend, but if he doesn’t propose to you then I’m going to enjoy hurting him. The two of you will simply marry and that will be that.”
“We’ll do no such thing.” Arabella sighed and collected her cup and saucer to put them on the tray for a servant to take. “I don’t intend to marry. Excuse me, I’d like to visit with the children again before Merrick returns.”
“Merrick now, is it?” Gray teased.
“Oh, keep quiet.” She turned toward the house. “It’s not like you’ve never been in a similar situation,” she muttered.
“I’ll have you know I didn’t expect to marry again so soon,” Grayling reminded her as he blocked her escape. “But a very good friend threw the perfect woman at me and I had a second chance to have a fulfilling life. You deserve to be in love.”
Rothwell had claimed her perfect, but she didn’t think that true. There were many things she would change about herself if she could. “It’s not the same. I don’t have the faintest idea of whether I love him.”
His eyes narrowed at her admission. “There’s nothing to stop you being as happy as we are. You just have to be brave enough to jump.”
She sank into a chair. “I’m not sure I am ready to marry again.”
“Then that is an impediment only you can overcome. Rothwell has proven he’s a man of honor by protecting you as he did. I’m not entirely happy about your affair, but only you can decide whether he’s worth the risk of loving.” Grayling leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “If he makes you happy, Bella, then tell me what have you got to lose? You have my blessing, if that helps. Augusta would approve, too, I think. She always had a soft spot for him.”
The casual mention of Grayling’s first wife, Augusta, once her best friend, brought tears to her eyes. She had missed Augusta desperately these past years and longed to hear her opinion. But
Arabella was alone and had to make all decisions about her life without help. Only she could decide whether what she had with Rothwell was love or something far less.
~ * ~
When Stanton Harold Hall came into view, ice formed in the pit of his stomach. For the whole of the trip to collect his youngest half brother, he’d missed Arabella and now feared what she’d say to him about the addition to their outing. At his side sat his father’s last mistake, a boy of eight years whose mother had recently passed and needed a home. The boy would live with him from now until he was old enough for schooling. He touched Danny’s shoulder gently. “Dry your tears and be a good lad while I collect Lady Farnsworth.”
Young Danny sniffed miserably but nodded. “I will, sir.”
“Good lad.” He glanced at Holland’s worried face. “Once the carriage and horses have been seen to, take him for a stroll about Grayling’s gardens. Grayling won’t mind and the boy won’t be in the way there while you await us.”
“An excellent idea.” Holland ruffled the boy’s hair as Merrick left the carriage. “We might even be able to rustle up a sweet cake or two if we ask nicely.”
The pair had grown closer by the minute during their journey. He had hoped young Danny would bond with one of the others, but perhaps Holland was the best choice for a motherless boy. It would mean the child was about the town house more often rather than the stables, but at least there he could be kept watch over and would adopt the mannerisms of a gentleman more quickly.
He grinned at Grayling’s butler, Cunningham, as he passed through the impressive double doors of Stanton Harold Hall and then glanced around the dim interior. Grayling strode forward to meet him at the door. “Grayling.”
“Bastard,” Gray muttered. “Come with me. We need to talk.”
Merrick quickly looked for Arabella but didn’t see her anywhere. Although he wouldn’t be comfortable until he’d laid eyes on her again, he reluctantly followed Gray back outside and onto the lawns. When they stopped beside a shady tree, Merrick caught Gray’s arm. “What’s going on?”
“I should ask you the same thing.” Grayling drew closer and Merrick was astonished to see his hands curl into fists. “I won’t allow you to toy with Arabella’s affections.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to deny he was involved with Arabella, but this was his best friend. Her best friend too, and she’d clearly confided in him while Merrick was off on family business. “I won’t pursue her if you’re so set against us.”
“But you’ll ruin her.”
“Not intentionally. Unfortunately, she’s against marriage.”
Grayling frowned. “I cannot understand why. Farnsworth treated her well from all I saw.”
Farnsworth had neglected her, paying no attention to her opinions from what he could discern. Merrick would not make the mistake of doing the same. “I love her,” he said simply. Being apart for the whole day and worrying about how she fared was a new experience for Merrick, though not unpleasant.
“Then propose.”
“I’d rather not have her think it’s because you demanded it, if it’s all the same to you.” He shook his head. “I do have a special license at home.”
“Then use it.”
“I intend to. I was actually on the hunt for a bride while I was in London. I had whittled down my selection to three when Arabella sought my protection. Do you have any idea how fast a man can lose interest in other women once he sees an opportunity?”
“To seduce her? You bloody bastard.”
“To get to know her without society watching.” Merrick shrugged. “I don’t know why you’re so put out with me. It’s not as if I’m trespassing on your territory. Oh, and did I criticize you for marrying your governess, who when I met her the first time went by an entirely different name?”
Merrick was well aware that the current Lady Grayling had an entirely murky past that no one ever brought up in conversation. Eventually he hoped Gray would confide in him.
Grayling scowled. “That was different.”
“You’re correct. The situations are as different as night and day. I will not rush Arabella with an offer of marriage when she is uncertain she wants more. When I do marry, I don’t want to feel my bride chose me because she must. Now, may we return to the house so I can say farewell properly to your charming wife and children? It will be dark soon and I want to deliver Arabella home to Winslette where she’s happiest.”
Gray pressed his lips together and then gestured toward the house. They returned without speaking. Merrick wasn’t unduly surprised about Grayling finding out he’d slept with Arabella. It was reasonable that she’d confide in him. He just didn’t like Grayling’s assertion that they had to wed or else.
They found the ladies in the conservatory, children running around them and squealing. Arabella smiled shyly, fingers twisting at her waist. “You’re back.”
He nodded. Although he ached to touch her, Merrick concluded that being too forward in front of friends might embarrass her, so he reluctantly kept his distance. “A small difficulty. I’ll explain in the carriage if I may.”
“Of course.” They chatted a bit longer and then it was Arabella who claimed it time to go. “I’ve been away so long and there is much to do.”
Lady Grayling took her arm and led her toward the entrance hall. “There always is. Remember what I told you to do tonight. Come back and see us soon. Bring Rothwell with you for a longer visit if you like.”
“I will.” Arabella kissed her cheek, her cheeks burning quite red. “Until next time.” She stole a glance at Merrick before rushing toward the carriage.
“Rosemary,” Grayling growled. “Now what did you tell her to do?”
His wife looked anything but contrite. “An additional lesson. Nothing you’ve not had experience with.”
Merrick glanced between them. “Have I missed something?”
Lady Grayling laughed as her husband followed Arabella out the door. “You did, but hopefully you won’t feel so neglected after tonight is over. Good night, Rothwell. Please don’t keep my friend waiting.”
Puzzled, he joined Arabella in the carriage. Holland and young Danny were already seated with her. He quickly performed the introductions and then turned to Arabella. “What lesson did Lady Grayling have to share?”
“Later.” Her face flamed. “Much later, in fact.”
As the carriage left Grayling’s estate, sniffling drew his attention. The boy was still upset, and Merrick was at a loss as to how to comfort him. Arabella suddenly leaned forward and took the child’s hand in hers. “Partings are always hard, Danny.”
The boy nodded, his weeping eyes locked on hers.
Arabella smiled. “When we get to Winslette, you must help me pick a room for you. You may have any unoccupied room for your own tonight as long as you are careful with my possessions.”
Danny’s eyes darted to Holland.
Arabella released him and sat back. “Even the one beside Holland’s. I believe it is unoccupied too, so you are in luck.”
The boy sat back as well and seemed much more at ease. Had he merely been worried he’d be left alone on his first night away from all he’d known? Merrick wouldn’t do that to the boy. He’d lost his mother to illness a few weeks past and it was clear he mourned her.
Arabella caught his eye and he smiled at her. She truly was good to comfort a boy she should never have paid notice to.
Holland cleared his throat. “Shall I inform the men we return to London tomorrow and have the carriage prepared for an early start?”
The return trip would take three days, and then he’d have nothing to look forward to but the boy’s care. Arabella made no protest and extended no invitation for him to stay. He studied her face, looking for signs she disagreed, and saw nothing to give him hope. He nodded but he wished he didn’t have to go. Arabella was all he could think about. He might very well need his brother’s stubborn nature to make him leave her and Winslette behind.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
Arabella slipped inside Merrick’s chamber and shut the door firmly behind her. She was confronted by his bare back, and her pulse raced as she discovered he was completely naked already. She licked her lips as her body reacted. “I had hoped to see you again.”
He tossed the shirt he’d been holding across the room and sat on the edge of the bed. “I considered visiting your room.”
She moved closer to see his face. He’d been silent and watchful at dinner and had only picked at his food. She hoped he wasn’t annoyed with her for telling Gray and Rosemary about them. “Then why didn’t you?”
He shook his head. “I wanted to.”
She stopped at his side and lifted her hand to his hair. When she touched his head, he leaned into her palm. “I wanted you to, as well.”
Finally, a smile. He caught her about her hips and drew her body between his knees. “I’m glad.”
Between them, his length thickened and grew while she watched in wonder. Discovering just how easily he became aroused and how comfortable with it he seemed brought a smile to her lips. She’d learned much about pleasure from him and intended to thank him in a very personal way.
Slowly he toppled backward, taking Arabella with him so they lay on the bed. The heat of his body beneath her scorched her through two layers of nightclothes. She wore his banyan again over her nightgown, but the material was not thick enough to prevent awareness of every inch of him. When she was comfortable atop him, his hands danced over her covered bottom. “You’re wearing my banyan again.”
“I like it. It feels lovely against my skin.”
He wriggled his hand between them and untied the belt. “I like you naked against me.”
“I did notice that.” She studied his face. “I wish you didn’t have to go tomorrow.”
He freed one of her arms from the robe and tugged the tie on her nightgown undone. “I wish I didn’t need to go, too.”
“I suppose you must have much to do for the boy?”
“I’m not going for that reason. The boy will live with me for a while before he eventually goes off to school.” He forced her nightgown over her shoulder and kissed her bare skin. His lips, their startling caress, forced a moan from her throat in response. He chuckled softly, then continued, “I don’t want to ruin your reputation. I’m not sure we’ll avoid gossips as it is, but staying here any longer will only make the tongues wag worse.”
