by Will Craig
Humanity’s quest for self-knowledge spans the ages and the globe. From Socrates to Ben Franklin to Dirty Harry, the philosophers and storytellers of each era put their spin on the importance of this two-word dictum. The ancient writings of the Egyptians, Hindus, and Greeks all show that knowledge of the self played a significant role in those cultures.
Know thyself is familiar to most as a Greek aphorism carved into the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. The inscription, located on the wall in the forecourt of the temple, greeted guests visiting the Oracle of Delphi. Pythia, as she was commonly known, spoke for the god Apollo. Her guidance and prophecies made her the most powerful woman in the classical world.
According to Socrates, the most important thing in life is to know yourself. His predecessor Pythagoras felt even stronger about introspection: “Know thyself, and thou shalt know the universe and God.”
Plato, a student of Socrates, added another layer to the legend with, “I must first know myself, as the Delphian inscription says; to be curious about that which is not my concern, while I am still in ignorance of my own self, would be ridiculous.”
Later, the mythology morphed yet again with Aristotle: “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” For me, this iteration is the most meaningful and easiest to remember.
One of America’s Founding Fathers, Benjamin Franklin, added, “Observe all men; thy self most.” Or, if you just want plain talk, Clint Eastwood–style, “A man’s got to know his limitations.”
As a timeless concept, know thyself also appears in Latin (temet nosce) on a plaque above the kitchen door of the Oracle in the Matrix films. As with the guests visiting ancient Delphi, Neo needs to first know himself before he will understand and be worthy of special guidance from the Oracle.
If the wisdom of self-knowledge has been around for ages, why don’t more people heed the time-honored advice? The process may not seem so fun. Plus, it’s hard work. Not to mention you’re likely to learn things that don’t sit well with you.
You are to be commended, though. Not many people are brave enough to go inward and take on an inner quest. Of course, those folks are on the trip anyway, whether they realize it or not; they’re just not actively participating like you are.
So, congratulations! Here’s what you win: You know your limitations, as well as where you excel. You’re able to see yourself in others and appreciate how others want to see themselves. You gain a sixth sense in evaluating how others might behave in certain circumstances, having firsthand experience of how the process works. You have a more accurate assessment of yourself and how others perceive you. You gain confidence in relationships, recognizing that everyone is an apprentice to life, just like you.
Socrates may have been a tad dramatic when he said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Given his circumstances at the time, however, he was likely hoping to drive home a final point. Socrates made this declaration at his trial in Athens. He was charged with “corrupting the youth” and “failing to acknowledge the gods.” He was found guilty and sentenced to death by drinking the potent and deadly poison of the hemlock plant.
Not examining things too much might seem less painful, but it is the coward's way to a slow and sorrowful life. One can take solace in being a follower: complying with directions and instructions, not having to think or make too many decisions. But if you are to be in charge of your life, you must ask questions, challenge the status quo, and take responsibility for who you are and the person you want to become. Too dramatic? You decide.
If you’re somewhat nervous about how much you know—or don’t know—about your true self, relax. You’re not only in good company; you’re halfway to becoming enlightened enough to see over the next ridge. It comes back to awareness and being willing to look at the you down deep and not the you underneath the many masks (and hats) you wear.
Regardless of your apprehensions, begin the process of knowing yourself well or your journey will be fraught with missteps and misdirections. Good places to start are personal assessments. There are scores of personality tests online—some better than others. These profiles sprinkle you with insights and inspire you to think differently. (For insights into Discovering Purpose and Passion, take the assessment at: willcraig.com/gifts)
To fully know yourself is a lifelong journey. Begin by looking inward, and gradually go deeper. Spend quiet time with yourself (as corny as that may sound). Look at your strengths and your weaknesses. Be still long enough to sense the relative silence, and listen to what you might hear for the first time. Review your beliefs and what you stand for. Better yet, consider what or who you would die for. If you’re afraid of what you might see and hear, that’s all the more reason to look and listen. It is the very strife and struggle of coming to know ourselves that gives our lives meaning and significance.
Ask questions. Look for answers. Ponder the stories you tell yourself and others. Ask yourself: What am I making up about my life (what lies am I telling myself)? What and who do I really want to become? If you know yourself from the world inside, you have a much better chance of making sense of the world on the outside.
Know yourself so that when life presents you with enigmas wrapped in anomalies, you already have a good sense of who you are and where you’re headed. You will not be derailed by irrelevant chaos or gratuitous noise. You’ll know what you value, what’s important, and why. This enables you to make timely decisions, enhance your well-being, and make the world a better place. You’ll also be in a better place to recognize the call to adventure when you receive it.
If you are courageous enough to travel this path, you will need time and patience. There is no shortcut (unless you work with a mentor). This is the journey, and the reward is a life well lived. The good news is, if you start now, do the work, and gain a heightened self-awareness, life keeps getting better.
Exploring Your Role
In answering the call to adventure, you’re committing to a call for change. If things were going to stay the same, would you really be happy?
Agreeing that change is needed is hard enough. Making the change requires a tremendous amount of commitment and perseverance. Surprisingly, the powers you need are easy to secure if you’re willing to do the work and embrace the challenges presented to the hero within.
Awareness is a curious tap on the shoulder from your traveling companion, the herald. Once you awaken to the need for change, you can’t un-see it. You can deny or refuse the call, but only through quiet suffering.
The herald is a busy messenger. Calls for change are issued on a regular basis from the simplest (fix that darn screen door) to the most profound (am I living my purpose?). Most calls, regardless of the type, are ignored or refused—until they can’t be any longer. When the screen door falls off, you have no choice but to fix it, even though it would have only been a minor repair weeks ago.
Stepping into awareness opens the door to a rewarding inner journey.
Accepting the call to adventure is committing to change.
The only way to discover your destiny is to first
know thyself.
You are to be commended for answering the call to adventure. Like most things that are worthwhile, however, the process of getting there is a lot tougher and so much different from what we imagine. Regardless of how we think this is going to go, rest assured that it won’t be anywhere close to what we envision.
Take comfort in knowing this isn’t necessarily bad. What happens next and what happens further down the path will help you reach your potential and meet your destiny.
Self-Discovery
What calls for change are presenting themselves to you right now?
Are there calls from your past that you have ignored or refused? Do they still tug at you?
What stories are you telling yourself? Are they true or simply comforting?
Beyond the other roles you play (e.g., parent, spouse, colleague), do you truly know thyself?
CHAPTER 7
Meeting the Mentor
“Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.” ~ Master Yoda
W hen the hero of this next story receives the call, it does, indeed require service and sacrifice. It is the call of duty to serve his country.
Not knowing how long he will be away from his family, he enlists the help of his old friend Mentes to watch over and guide his infant son. This turns out to be a smart move.
Our hero is Odysseus, the King of Ithaca, a Greek island in the Mediterranean Sea. It is the 12th century BC and he has been called to fight the Trojans, who aren’t being very nice and are not playing fair.
An oracle from Delphi reveals that the city of Troy (in what is now western Turkey) will fall to the Greeks. Indeed, the city will fall, but the Trojan War will last ten years before finally culminating in one of the biggest “gotcha’s” in the history of warfare: the Trojan Horse.
The Greeks have been fighting for years to conquer Troy, but the city is impenetrable. In a last-ditch effort, they build a huge hollow wooden horse, fill it with soldiers, and leave it outside the city gates. The remaining fleet sails off, just out of sight, as if admitting defeat and leaving the spoils of war to the Trojans.
Believing the horse is an offering to the goddess Athena—and not being able to resist such a great toy, after all—the Trojans wheel it inside the gates. In the dead of night, the special-forces unit emerges from the Trojan Horse, and kick butt.
Fortunately, our hero is on the winning side. That’s the good news. The bad news is that Odysseus’s GPS isn’t cooperating, and neither is the rough weather at sea. It will be another ten years before he enjoys the comforts of home.
Back in the kingdom of Ithaca, the citizens are getting restless. Penelope, Odysseus’ wife, is doing her best to raise their son, Telemachus, and keep the many suitors at bay. By this time, most assume that the king has been killed in the war and that Penelope should re-marry, if only because this gives a lucky suitor an instant crown and direct control over—well, just about everything, including Telemachus, the would-be king.
The beautiful Penelope is hip to this and tells the supplicants directly, “I know you just want me for my crowning endowments—now scram.”
As the years pass, the suitors grow in number and impatience. It won’t be long before the kingdom is lost. Telemachus refuses to believe his father is dead and sets off to find him. The loyal Mentes’ expertise and competence are being tested to the limit.
(PAUSE): If you're picturing yet another male role model playing the part of the wise old mentor, here’s a switcheroo.
The goddess Athena is known as the goddess of wisdom, courage, and heroic endeavors—and a cunning companion of heroes. The perfect superhero to have by your side, right?
She is watching Telemachus grow into a man and sees him now stepping off on his quest to find Dad. Recognizing that divine intervention might be necessary, Athena checks in with her father on Mount Olympus, Zeus, to receive permission to intervene. With a few caveats, permission is granted.
In one of the greatest shapeshifting maneuvers of all time, Athena assumes the appearance and role of Mentes, sets off to town to gather a crew of loyal men, and joins Odysseus’ son on his years-long Hero’s Journey.
The caveat that she must obey is to offer only guidance, insights, and assistance. She is never to fight Telemachus’ battles, nor is she to tell him what he should do. Destiny must be earned.
After a very long and arduous road of trials, the young man is reunited with his dad, Odysseus. Father and son return to the island kingdom to overtake the infidels seeking the king’s throne and Telemachus’ birthright. Destiny is realized.
And they all live happily ever after.
For thousands of years now, men and women who follow in the footsteps of Mentes are known as mentors: crucial advisors and coaches during life’s endless tests, tasks, and trials.
Destination – Coaching and Mentoring
As your journey is set to begin, wise counsel is your guide. Good coaching and mentoring are indispensable for a quest of this magnitude. In this chapter, you are introduced to the backstory of mentoring and its various modern incarnations.
Fellow Traveler – Mentor
Joining your entourage—and not a minute too soon—is your wise and insightful traveling companion, the mentor. Coaches and mentors are now, and should always be, key individuals in your life. They have traveled the path and illuminate your way toward life mastery.
The mentor shares experience, imparts wisdom, and conveys values. The mentor is the keeper of folklore, myths, and other life-shaping stories. Think of the wise old woman or man who has walked the path ahead of the hero and knows both the dangers and the secrets of a safe and fruitful passage. Preparing the hero for the tests, trials, and ordeals that lie ahead, the mentor implements training that provides essential lessons for the hero.
Mentors endow the hero with requisite knowledge and gifts that would take a lifetime to acquire. Your gift may be limited to knowledge and wisdom. For longer, more demanding journeys, you’ll need something closer to divine intervention. This gift is one you need to earn. Most often, it is the exact thing you need in your darkest moment. Whatever the gift may be, the most important attribute you gain from it is confidence.
In meeting the mentor, you have access to wisdom that catapults you forward. The benefits of having a consummate teacher, a seasoned guide, and trusted confidant are essential when preparing for your calling. You receive indispensable advice, gain remarkable insight, and develop the confidence necessary for facing your challenges and fears.
Personal Guide – Wisdom
One quality that all of your personal assistants have in common is wisdom. That’s why they’re here. Your guide on this leg of the journey is the master of life lessons, the mentor. The strongest characteristic he possesses is wisdom. As your personal guide, wisdom shares freely—just know that it comes at a price.
Knowledge comes from learning; wisdom comes from experience. Much like the Hero’s Journey itself, the process is one big continuum. We are learning beings, but without taking action and gaining experience, we have no shot at earning wisdom. It is the “been there, done that” syndrome complete with multiple mistakes, many bad judgments, and countless failures.
Greek philosophers spoke more of wisdom than any other topic. The Greek word philosophia means “love of wisdom.” Practical wisdom enhances common sense and facilitates better decision-making. Meeting your mentor exposes you to the voice of experience and a depth of wisdom decades in the making.
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” ~ Socrates
From Wounds to Wisdom
When you end up tripping over life, Oprah Winfrey advises, “Turn your wounds into wisdom.” Unfortunately, my wound was believing I wasn’t very smart. Turning that into wisdom seemed like a long shot.
I don’t know if it was moving around so much as a kid and attending so many different schools (seven before the age of 12) or whether it was, in fact, that I had learning disabilities (as we now call them). It didn’t make much difference; the end results were the same. Not smart. I was “less than” when it came to grades and measuring up to my peers.
What I learned instead was a work ethic—nose to the grindstone with a little elbow grease thrown in. Doing replaced being—that is, doing gratifying work instead of being smart. My wound set up an unreasonable assumption in the form of a shadow belief: “I’m not smart enough, so if I am going to make anything of myself, I have to do more than anyone else.”
The role of the shadow is to destroy. On the surface, it seems nothing good can come from this, but it’s quite the opposite. My shadow belief destroyed my self-worth, and as a result, I was forced to develop other skills and abilities such as doing more and being persistent. The revelation that came from this was that, in my experience, persistence outguns being smart every time.
So, how did I go from being a fa
ilure in school to teaching college and becoming the founder and dean of an educational institution with students from 37 countries?
Mentors.
When the hero is ready,
the mentor appears.
I’ve had many mentors—some formal, most not. Growing up with my perceived intellectual disadvantage, I was attracted to people who were smarter than me (which left the field wide open). If I could emulate one good trait or learn from one bad mistake, I felt like I could earn a work-around. If I could collect enough “earnings,” I could regain my self-worth.
Gifts From the Mentor
Meeting the mentor is one of the most exciting stages of the journey. You understand and appreciate that you’re not in this alone. Life is not a suicide mission, after all.
A good mentor doesn’t need to be a wise old sage; they just need to be a little bit further down the path to carry the torch and guide you to the answers within. Mentors are all the good parts of humanity wrapped into one: trusted confidant, favored teacher, insightful friend, experienced guide, unwavering advocate, adept sparring partner, and enthusiastic cheerleader. Don’t take this to mean that they won’t be challenging or difficult at times. The good ones usually are.
Once you meet your mentor, life is never the same. Mentors most always appear just as you’re about to leave the known ordinary world and enter the unknown special world (in our case, the transition from the conscious to the subconscious). This is when you need them the most as you’re preparing for your quest.
