by Danda K.
I shrug and admit, “I thought you were gonna finish in my mouth.” I chuckle lightly, trying to make a joke of it, but he knew it would be a big deal. I didn’t even have to tell him. I think Jaxon knows me better than I know myself sometimes.
“I told you I’d never have you do anything you’re not comfortable with, Nyx.” He brushes my hair behind my ear. “I know your boundaries. I would never cross them without your consent.”
I grab his face and kiss him again. He’s fucking amazing. I sigh and ask, “Are you even from this planet, Jaxon Carter?”
He huffs out a laugh and says, “I ain’t going back even if I’m not, baby. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He stands up, and I follow.
“I’m gonna go wash up, maybe take a quick shower. Then I guess we can watch The Nightmare on Elm Street.” I roll my eyes to make a point. “Again.” I walk towards the door, and Jaxon slaps my behind playfully.
Happy.
I. Am. Happy.
Once I reach my room, I hear him singing the jingle from the movie. “One, two, Freddie’s coming for you...” And I can’t help but laugh at how much of a dork he really is.
Twenty-three
Cameron
It’s almost six o’clock in the evening, my shift is almost over, and I’m just wiping down what’s left of the mess from the busy day. It’s Halloween, so I’ll head straight home so Jax and I can go trick-or-treating with Sayeed and Sam, otherwise, they’ll have to wait on me.
I’m not too worried since all I have to really do is throw on a mask and maybe brush my hair. I’m pretty sure Sam has been dressed since he woke up, in anticipation for tonight. Halloween’s the one day it’s socially acceptable for kids to walk up to strangers and ask them for treats, so it’s understandable that he’s looking forward to it.
“Honestly, male on male romance is highly underrated.” Kim shrugs, continuing her rant and pulling me from my thoughts as I clean up.
Her feet are propped on one of our small tables as she sits in the chair, chipping off her black nail polish. Her dark hair is very curly, actually wilder than mine. Her skin has a much more natural peach tone, and she wears nothing but Pantera tees and Vans.
I’ve made two girlfriends in the almost two months I’ve been working here. Tegan is the manager of the Cafe, and Kim works in the fiction section. I was kind of forced to interact with Tegan since she’s my manager, but it turns out she’s super nice.
She and Kim are best friends, but they’re always inviting me along, trying to include me in their duo. We’ve grabbed coffee a few times after work, nothing too crazy. I don’t know what it is about Brooklyn girls and Starbucks, but it’s like a moth to the flame.
I enjoy my job, too. I just make coffee for customers, but I feel like the social interaction alone is a huge victory for me. Having a couple girls to talk to and hang out with sometimes isn’t too bad either.
“And I tried getting Tegan to try an audiobook, but she insists that books are better.” Kim waves her hand in the air in disapproval.
Kim loves everything about fiction books, especially romance, and is extremely passionate about them. She’s in book clubs and runs Facebook groups where they do nothing but share their favorite authors and series and obsess over book boyfriends.
She always tries to get me to read her favorites, and I always refuse. I have enough on my plate with my human boyfriend; I have no space in my brain for a book one.
Hell, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’m actively in a relationship.
“That’s because they are!” Tegan sing-songs, coming from the storage closet holding a box of paper to-go cups, her pink hair bouncing as she does. Tegan is the shortest of our trio, and her hair changes color with her mood. She also has a slight obsession with sugar skulls.
“I don’t have anything against audiobooks. I just feel like reading better fits my lifestyle,” she shrugs. “I enjoy the feel of a book in my hand.”
I look up at her and give her a reassuring nod. To each his own and all, but Kim just waves her off as if she’s crazy.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways...” She takes her feet off the table, probably because Tegan is giving her a death glare, and nods her head towards me. “What do you have planned tonight, Cam?” She examines her curls. “Me and T are heading to a small party. Wanna come?”
And just like every time before, I politely refuse her invitation.
“No, thanks. Jax and I are taking Sam trick-or-treating.”
I continue to wipe down the counter when Tegan chimes in, “Girl, I don’t even blame you. If I had that delicious piece of man meat at home waiting for me, I wouldn’t need to waste any time skimping myself out for these below mediocre fuck-boys.” She fans herself and then makes a gagging face referring to the guys she meets at these parties.
I shake my head and smirk. I don’t respond because I don’t like talking about my relationship. Ever. It’s not that I’m ashamed. In fact, it’s the opposite. I’m just afraid that if other girls know what I see in Jaxon, then they’ll want him, too.
And then maybe he’ll find someone better than me because of it.
Tegan takes off her apron and places it on the hook by the window. “You mind closing out the cash register for me? I want to run home and jump in the shower to get ready for our Halloween escapades.” She does a little shimmy in excitement.
“You got it. Have fun and be safe.” I tell her, and they’re off arm in arm to get into God knows what kind of trouble tonight. It must be fun to be twenty-one and actually be twenty-one.
The apartment is about fifteen minutes from the bookstore, so it’s within walking distance. I haven’t kept Jaxon and the guys waiting for too long, so I decide to walk home instead of waiting for the bus.
I had no intention of dressing up at all tonight, but of course, Jaxon wants us to be Freddie and Jason. He even got Magnet a small Chucky costume for him to wear.
I agreed, but only after a bit of persuasion, which included a few fingers and a lot of tongue.
Since last week we’ve been fooling around all hours of the day and night, almost like we’re making up for lost time.
Obviously, it’s limited, but we spend about every waking minute we’re alone tangled up in each other. I’m getting really good at pleasuring Jaxon, too. I can read his cues and know what he likes. He almost lost his mind with laughter when I told him I learned about blowjobs by watching porn.
The sun is setting, and kids are scattered everywhere in their costumes, going in and out of stores and houses, gathering up their next cavities in big festive buckets and bags. My phone rings and I know it’s Milla now because I gave her a special ringtone. I guess this is the normal thing to do when more than one person actually calls you. I pick up on the third ring.
“Hey, Milla.”
“Hey, bitch! Happy Halloween!” I almost bump into a tiny Groot costume and apologize profusely to its parents.
“What goes on? What are you guys up to?”
“Not much, you know. Just doing spooky things.” I hear a clip in her voice and have no idea why.
“Sounds good…” I respond with confusion. Her tone is starting to irritate me.
“So where are you?” she asks, and my eyes widen. I still haven’t told her I left my dad’s. I didn’t even know how to explain what my life has become, and I didn’t want her worrying. She’s assuming I’m home right now, which is where I would have been had I not left. That’s why her question has me thrown off guard.
I can’t get into this conversation right now, so I lie.
“I’m home, just watching some TV.” I silently shush the world because it’s so damn loud right now.
“Oh, really?” she asks, her voice filled with sarcasm and a touch of anger.
“Yep.”
“That’s funny because I just left your house. And your dad practically growled at me that he hasn’t, and I quote, ’Seen that little bitch since she up and left.’”
> I’m silent. I don’t even know what to say.
“I’m sorry, Milla. I didn’t want to worry you. I had it under control.”
“Uhm, you’re my best friend, bitch. It’s my job to worry. Are you okay?”
I give her a quick rundown on what happened. I explain how I left my dad and met Jaxon and how he offered me a place to stay. To say she’s shocked is an understatement. I just keep it simple, leaving out the part about dating Jaxon. By the time I finish explaining, I’m almost home.
“Oh, my God! I’m so fucking proud of you! We need to meet this Jaxon!” she practically squeals from excitement. I roll my eyes because I know there’s no way out of it. She’s as persistent as they come, almost as much as Jaxon. I agree to talk to him about meeting up with them and hang up as quickly as possible so I can head inside and get ready.
◆◆◆
It doesn’t take long before we’re walking the Brooklyn streets with Sam and his dad while Sam collects his candy. He’s dressed up as some video game character I’ve never even heard of, but he reminds me of Zelda. Jaxon and I walk behind as Sam runs up to a porch with a huge werewolf sitting on a chair by the steps.
Damn, that looks realistic.
Suddenly, the damn thing jumps up and scares the hell out of the trick-or-treaters, Sam included, who’s now running back to us and forgoing candy from this house.
I didn’t jump, though. Not even a bit. I’m used to the monsters.
I’m interrupted from my zone out when Jaxon grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles. We’ve pushed our masks up and are wearing them like hats because it got hot behind them. I look up at him and smile.
“So, you were telling me about Camilla. You told her what’s happening now?” He looks interested. “You told her about me?” Waggling his eyebrows, he nudges my shoulder with his.
“Uh, yeah, I did.” Just not all of it.
“I’m down to hang out with her and Shane. Tell them to come over tonight when we get back.
We don’t have any--” He’s interrupted by his phone ringing. Again actually. In fact, I think this is the third time it’s rung in an hour, and he hasn’t picked it up once. He just quickly looks at it then ends the call.
“You know, if you pick it up, they may actually stop calling,” I say nonchalantly.
He brushes it off. “Just spam calls, there’s no point.” He shrugs and quickly changes the subject.
“So what did you tell your friend about me?” Grabbing my hand again, we continue to walk down the street.
Huh. Interesting.
I don’t answer his question because my mind is running wild with a question of my own. One I’m afraid to hear the answer to.
And for the first time ever, a small feeling in my gut rises. And it’s not a good one.
Because for the first time since I’ve met this man, a red flag goes up.
It’s small, but I see it.
I ask myself the question that’s suddenly eating at every nerve ending in my body.
Did Jaxon just lie to me?
Twenty-four
Cameron
My worries about Jaxon’s honesty were quickly put on the back burner when our doorbell rang with our company for the night.
Jaxon seemed to be his usual self, showing no signs of foul play. I’m starting to believe this is all in my head. Jaxon has never given me a reason not to trust him. Therefore, I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt he deserves. He promised he would never hurt me, and he hasn’t broken a promise yet.
“So, Jaxon. This is such a nice apartment you have here!” Camilla prances around the small space and plops down on the couch. “Tell me everything about you and my girl here...” She points her thumb at me, and I swat it away.
Rolling her eyes, she lifts an arm to shoo me away like the brat she is. ”Anyway...What’s it like living with my best friend?!” She rests her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands as she eagerly awaits his answer.
“It’s been pretty awesome. Cameron’s an exceptional roommate,” he winks at me.
Camilla cannot control her laughter now. She leans back on the couch, laughing hysterically and slapping her knee.
“Listen, I love this girl more than I do most of my family members, but let’s be real, she is quite the handful.” I hit her again, and she reaches over, trying to kiss my cheek.
“Bitch, I love you. But you know damn well you’re not the most social creature, and this boy’s too kind for his own good.”
Shane tries to cover a laugh. Traitor.
“For your information,” I look between the two, “you’re both assholes.” I shrug and examine my bare nails. “I’ve actually become quite a social butterfly lately. I even have a job and made some new friends I hang out with occasionally.” I give her a take that look and stick out my tongue.
“That’s great, Cam, really! I’m so happy for you.” She leans her head on my shoulder. “I miss you so much, bestie. Those bitches better not take my place.”
I give her a tight hug to reassure her that’s not possible. Even though she loves to get on my case, this girl truly loves me like a sister. And she’s the only person in my life that ever has.
The night’s going well, but I keep getting looks from Milla when Jaxon touches my lower back or sits closer to me than a roommate would. The chemistry between us is obvious, so I’m sure she feels it but hasn’t called us out on it.
Milla and Shane decide to crash in the spare room after watching scary movies all night and having a few too many drinks. Jaxon has noticed me pulling away whenever he’s gotten close and seems to realize Milla doesn’t know about us being a couple. He let up on the PDA and is setting up the couch for himself. As much as I’d like to think he’s doing this to keep us under wraps, I’m pretty sure he’s upset I haven’t told my best friend we’re together.
And, honestly, I get it.
◆◆◆
It’s well into the next morning. Camilla and Shane left over an hour ago, but Jaxon still seems off. He was his usual, carefree self when my friends were here, but now he has a frosty bite to his tone.
“So, your friends are really nice.” He goes through the mail by the kitchen counter. “You and Camilla are lucky to have each other.” He glances at me quickly and continues with what he’s doing.
“Yeah, she’s a pretty awesome friend.” I walk up behind him and hug him, pressing my cheek against his back.
“Oh, so we’re doing this now?” he stands still, not reacting to my embrace.
I knew he was upset.
“Listen, Jaxon--” I begin but get cut off.
“I’m only saying this once, Cameron.” He turns around to face me and leans on the counter, crossing his arms. “I consider myself a very patient and understanding person.” He reaches for a piece of paper, crumbles it, and throws it in the trash. “And I’m willing to go through all the highs and lows that life may throw at either of us. I’m willing to do just about anything for you, Nyx. Be just about whatever it is you need me to be...” He runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “But I won’t be your secret.”
I’m such an asshole sometimes. Anyone else would flaunt a relationship with someone as pure and good as Jaxon, but here I am, hiding him from my friends.
“I’m so sorry, and you’re one hundred percent right.” My chest tightens a bit, and I choke out the next sentence. “I’m just trying to navigate my new life the best way I know how.”
He turns around, sensing my sadness.
How much longer can I blame my ignorance? It isn’t fair to him. At some point, I just need to take responsibility for my poor decisions and stop making excuses. There’s no valid reason to make someone feel as if they’re less significant than they really are, especially someone like Jaxon. I know firsthand how this feels. I’ve dealt with it for years from my parents.
“I promise I’ll tell her we’re together.” I pause and correct my statement. “I’ll tell them both.”
The tension
in his shoulders loosens up. He pulls me in for a hug and kisses my forehead.
I look up at him and reassure him, “You’re not my secret, Jaxon. You’re my everything. I just don’t want the world to take you away from me.” A single tear rolls down my cheek, and he squeezes me tighter.
“Nobody’s taking me anywhere, Nyx.” He grabs my face and kisses me. “Because as far as I’m concerned, my entire world is standing right in front of me.”
Twenty-five
Jaxon
Why is this girl calling me again? Ending the call, I put my phone back in my pocket.
I’m in the middle of my shift when Morgan strolls in, dressed to a T with a blue polo, jeans, and Air Force Ones on his feet. He called last week to let me know he’d be in the neighborhood today, so I’ve been expecting him. We’re gonna hang out a bit while I finish up work. Other than Sayeed and Sam, Morgan’s the only other friend I have who’s worth keeping.
