by Danda K.
I wish things were different. I wish I wasn’t so screwed up, and that I knew how to love all of you, especially that little girl you helped make. But the truth is, my parents sealed my fate long before you were my Charming, and I was your Nyx. And I refuse to seal yours. Be happy, Jaxon. Please don’t ever change. You love deeply, passionately, and unconditionally. Share it with someone worthy of all that. I didn’t want to leave you without a good-bye, so here it is. Remember me, Jaxon, but don’t dwell on me. I wish our story ended differently, but it just wasn’t in the cards for us. I’ll take all of your love with me and hold on to it for as long as my feet rest above the ground.
I’ll more than love you, forever.
-Nyx
I stand up, staring at the flimsy paper, twisting it and examining its edges.
How can something so fragile hold the power to devastate me this way? How can Cameron think this was selfless of her? Doesn’t she understand I fucking need her like the air I’m breathing right now? I feel my heart breaking apart piece by piece.
“You are worthy of all of it! Why can’t you fucking see that?!” I scream into her words, willing her to hear me.
Falling to my knees, I bow my head in defeat.
I sniffle and run the back of my hand across my cheek, wiping away the dampness I find there. My eyes grow heavier with the weight of tears lining the brim.
I rub at my chest, trying to ease the pain. “Why’d you give up on me, Nyx?” I choke out, hoping to get clarity on where I went wrong.
I rest my head in my hands, trying to breathe in the small amount of oxygen that Cameron left me with.
I feel like the world’s collapsing around me. I squeeze my head in hopes of redirecting the pain shooting through every inch of my heart.
How’d I not know she’d do this? I fucking love her! Does she not realize everything I did for her she returned tenfold? Maybe not in the same way, but she’s marked every corner of this house with her memory.
There’s no home for me without her. Once you’ve had a taste of heaven, there’s no settling for life on Earth. There’s nowhere I can look and not see her.
Cameron embedded herself inside my soul then ripped herself apart from it with no warning.
She took a torch to everything we built together and burned it all down in a matter of minutes, leaving me here with the ashes of what she left behind.
What happened today was an accident. Yes, it sucked. My baby girl got hurt, but she’s fine. Cameron didn’t ruin her life because she couldn’t predict the future. She’s fucking human.
Damn this girl, if she would’ve just given me the chance to explain, she would’ve known this wasn’t her fault. I never blamed her or deemed her unfit to be around Emersyn.
If anything, she was making progress opening up to her. But she never fucking saw the positive, no matter how much I tried to shower her with praise, compliments, grand gestures, and encouragement. Cameron never thought she was worth any of it.
I scream, the physical pain in my chest not something that can be fixed with medical intervention. Cameron’s the only one who can fill the hole she left in me, the one she just created by abandoning me.
Just like my parents did.
Just like everyone does.
I stand up, walking over to the entryway to gather her pictures. I look down at the ones visible to me. Even though I wanted to do this together, I need to feel close to her.
I bend down and pick one up, examining the sunset behind the horizon. It’s the beach, of course. The orange sun setting beneath the waves, the darkness following behind.
Just like now.
I look around at the mess of photos and notice most are pictures of the places on her list we visited together, a lot of Camilla, and a couple of them together.
I spot one single photo of Cameron alone and pick it up.
She’s sitting criss-cross on a bed, looking down and smiling, tucking one side of her wild waves behind her ear. It’s a candid shot, probably taken by Camilla because Cameron hates pictures. She’s so beautiful. I can almost feel her porcelain skin through the thin glossy photo and taste her plump bottom lip that always has a hint of Winterfresh gum to it.
She’s mine.
I told her there’s nobody else out there for me. Did she think I was just trying to be romantic?
I fucking meant it.
There’s nobody else I want to share my bed, my heart, my life, or my daughter with. She’s the best thing for both of us, and I’m gonna make sure she knows it. Whatever it takes.
Knowing her, she’s long gone, probably on a bus headed to Tuscaloosa or somewhere off-grid to start over without me, thinking it’s the best thing for both of us. Well, she’s fucking wrong.
If I got home sooner, I could’ve stopped her and changed her mind. It doesn’t matter, though, because I’m gonna find my girl.
And if it takes me my entire life, so fucking be it.
Magnet runs over to me, diving into the photos like a kid jumping into a pile of leaves. Some of them slide further in all different directions, so I start to gather them to avoid any damage. I think I have them all in my hand until I spot one under the glass table by the door.
I bend down to pick it up, and something on it catches my eye. I look closer, having to do a double-take of what’s in front of me. The photo is of a tiny baby, but that’s not the weird part, though. It’s the items the baby has with it.
The sailboat. The grey blanket. The blue bunny.
WHAT. THE. FUCK?
This picture isn’t of just any tiny baby.
This picture is of me.
End of Book One
The Goddess Nyx
Acknowledgements
To my parents Anthony and Denise, I love you both so much and I’m forever grateful for the love and support you’ve always shown me. I’m the person I am today because of you both.
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To my sisters Jacquelyn and Lauren, thank you both for always being the amazing sisters that you are. My life is so much better with you girls in it, and all your babies that I love so much.
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To my Rissy who has been my constant supporter since the day I was born, the greatest Godmother, and forever my person. I love you always, and not a day goes by that I’m not grateful to have you in my life.
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To Tegan and Kim who helped me every step of the way during this crazy journey, showed unwavering support, and accepted my craziness. I’m lucky to have you both and love you so much. Not only are you great friends, you’re both amazing humans. My humans.
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To Renee, Cara, and Krissy who were by my side since the first word was typed for Ties...you girls believed in this story from the very beginning, so thank you!
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A shout out to Brandi Zelenka, my amazing editor and friend. Thank you for taking this crazy girl on and for your endless efforts to help me make this story beautiful!
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And to Molly, you have such a great eye and I appreciate all your work and patience while working on my book baby!
About the Author
Danda K. is a new Romance Author from New York City.
She’s also a wife and mother to three wild little boys. She got her name Danda from her niece and nephews who are practically her own kids. She’s awkward, and her obsession with her cats will never go unnoticed. You’ll likely find her hiding snacks from her kids, binge watching Netflix, or reading. Books give her life, and now she focuses her short attention span on writing her own stories. Even though Danda resides in a big city, she spends most of her time at home avoiding people and hanging out with fictional characters. She has dipped her pen in poetry since she was a little girl but found a love for writing romance. Thankful for her early readers, she enjoys engaging with them and sharing her love for books and favorite authors.
You can email Danda K. with any questions or comments at: [email protected]
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Thanks for reading The Ties That Bind Us (Part One)
