by Karli Perrin
“Why did you do that?” I ask with a serious face now. “She won’t be able to write any more books if you kill her.”
“Well I obviously didn’t mean to.”
“She’s probably going to write you into one of her books as a psychopath.”
“I wouldn’t care. I’d love to be a character in one of her books.”
“Even if she killed you in it?”
“I still wouldn’t care.”
“What if you killed one of her other characters?”
She gasps. “No way! I wouldn’t!”
“Who’s your favorite character of hers?”
“That’s a tough one. Probably Will Cooper.”
“Maybe you’ll give Will Cooper some sweets and he chokes and dies.”
“This definitely isn’t going to make me fall in love with you...”
I laugh. “We’ll see about that. Speaking of death, if you knew you only had one year to live, would you live your life differently?”
“Oh great, the morbid questions are back. I’d probably quit my job and go travelling but I’m pretty happy with my life. What about you?”
“I’d have more sex.”
“You mean you don’t get enough?”
I sigh dramatically. “Not nearly enough.”
“Poor you. Let me get my violin out.”
“I hope violin is code for something else.”
“Pass me the pillows so I can throw them at your head again.”
I grab them and sit on top of them. “If you want them, you’ll have to come and get them.”
“Or I could just find something else to throw at you instead.”
“Name something you like about me.”
“You’re very forward, aren’t you?”
“Good answer.”
“That wasn’t my answer. Although I do find it refreshing. I like that you make me laugh. I like that you’re honest. I like that you actually seem interested in what I’m saying.” She shrugs. “I like your face.”
I’m grinning like an idiot. “You sure do like a lot of things about me, huh?”
“Your turn. What do you like about me?”
“Everything so far.” I wink. “You’re my unicorn.”
She laughs. “Okay, sweet talker. Next question.”
“Finish this sentence. I wish I had someone with whom I could…”
“Laugh with. Cry with. Share my life with.”
“And what about - Buzz has a huge…”
“Ego.”
I chuckle. “Is there anything I should know about you? Anything about your life?”
She frowns and sits up a little straighter. “Like what?”
“Anything. We might as well be honest with each other from the start.”
“I’ve only known you for five minutes. You know more than enough.” She seems a little rattled which makes me want to dig deeper but now isn’t the right time.
“When was the last time you cried?”
“That’s easy. Last night.”
“Over what?”
“I had a premonition that I was going to meet you.”
“And you cried tears of joy,” I shoot back.
“You wish. I cried over A Court of Wings and Ruin.”
“A Court of what?”
“It’s a book. I was re-reading it for like the tenth time.”
“Why do you re-read a book? Surely once you’ve read it, you don’t need to read it again. You already know everything that happens.”
“Why do you re-watch the same movies or play the same games? Why do you go on more than one date with the same person? Some books were meant to be read over and over again.”
“I think I can guess the answer to this one. If your house was to catch fire, which item would you save?”
“My books.”
“How many do you own?”
“Hundreds. Three, maybe four.”
“Four hundred? I fucking hope your house doesn’t catch fire. All that paper. Owning all those books is probably a fire hazard in itself.”
“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Okay, we have one last thing to do.” I pat the couch next to me. “Come and sit down over here.”
“Why?”
“You need to look into my eyes for one whole minute.”
“Why? Are you going to hypnotize me?”
“Just trust me.”
She sighs and sits down beside me. “This is so weird.”
“Ready?”
“I guess so.”
“Sixty seconds starts now.”
I tune out everything else around us and concentrate on nothing but her. It feels like I’ve known her for a long time which is a little unsettling. I’m used to undressing women with my eyes but this is different. This is real. I’ve never felt so vulnerable and it’s scary but also exhilarating. After what feels like hours, days, she clears her throat. “Um, I think it’s been longer than a minute.”
It definitely has. “I don’t think so.”
She laughs but refuses to look away. “Are you going to tell me what all of this is about?”
“I read an article in the New York Times a couple of years ago. It was about how two strangers can fall in love by answering thirty six questions.”
She blushes. “I didn’t think you actually meant it when you said you could make me fall in love with you.”
“Oh, I meant it.”
“So you’ve just asked me thirty six questions?”
“No. A lot of them are very similar.”
“How the hell do you remember so many questions? That is seriously impressive but also extremely worrying.”
I chuckle. “I have a photographic memory. It’s one of my many talents. Do you want me to show you what else I’m good at?”
“Remember this - no.”
I lean back and grin. “Don’t worry, I’m remembering everything about this moment. Every tiny detail.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to remember the night you first started falling for me.”
“Is that right?”
“Yep.”
“How many other women have you done this with?”
“None.”
We’re both silent as she tries to judge whether I’m telling the truth. “And the creepy staring thing?”
“Just you.”
“Well I’m flattered.” She finally tears her eyes away from mine and I take a deep breath. It feels like my lungs have been starved of oxygen for the past few minutes. She stands up and smooths down her dress. “At least now you know that it doesn’t work. You don’t have to waste your time doing it with anybody else.”
“Aww, that’s cute.”
“What is?”
“The fact that you don’t want me to do it with anybody else. You don’t want them to fall in love with me too.”
“Too?”
I shrug. “Hey, if it was in the New York Times then it must be true, right? The media never lies. Just go with it. Stop trying to fight it.”
“There’s nothing to fight.”
“Give it another month, Unicorn.”
One month later
“This is one of my favorites,” she says before gently kissing my tattoo.
I look down at the little flame which says, ‘raise hell’ underneath it. “Why?” I ask.
“Because it’s perfect for you.”
I chuckle. “Thanks, I think.”
She nods. “You’re unashamedly you. You’re the most authentic person I’ve ever met. You’re honest and passionate and you always get what you want. You raise hell and boy do you own it.”
I smile lovingly at her. “Well now it’s one of my favorites too.”
“You mean it wasn’t already?”
I can feel my walls coming up thick and fast but for her, I knock them down. Only for her. “No, it wasn’t. It takes me back to a dark time. I got it just after my brother died. He always used to say it to me when we were growing
up.” I shrug. “It’s bittersweet. It’s a reminder of what I had but also a reminder of what I’ve lost.”
She leans up and kisses me. “And there’s me thinking that you just walked into a tattoo shop and picked the first one you saw.”
She always knows how to lighten the mood and for that, I’m truly thankful. She’s the light to my dark. The calm to my storm. I laugh. “Nah, I’m very careful when it comes to choosing tattoos. I can’t say the same for women. I walked into the club that night and you were the first woman I laid eyes on. Mason should feel very lucky that I didn’t spot Sophia first.”
She scowls but quickly forgets why when I pull her on top of me. “And now,” I say, lifting my hips up. “We raise hell.”
The next day, I show up at her house unannounced. “Trick or treat?” I ask when she opens the door.
Her jaw drops. “What the hell are you doing?” she asks, eyeing my costume.
“What do you mean? It’s Halloween.”
“I didn’t think I was seeing you until tomorrow. I thought you were working.”
I raise one eyebrow. “Oh, believe me, I’m going to work you so fucking hard.”
I love it when she blushes. “What are you wearing?”
“You seriously don’t know?” I step backwards and spin around.
“Of course I know. I just…I can’t…it’s a lot to take in right now.” She strokes one of my wings. “Where did you even get them? They look exactly how I’ve always imagined them.”
And so they should. I’ve spent the past few days reading and researching the book that she mentioned on the night we first met and paid a Victoria’s Secret costume designer over two thousand dollars to make me some wings. I know it’s crazy but she’s worth it. “Be careful,” I tell her. “You know what happens if you stroke Illyrian wings.”
She gasps. “Wait…did you…no…but how would you know…”
I chuckle. “You’re having a conversation with yourself. Spit it out.”
“Did you read the book?”
“A Court of Mist and Fury? Of course I read it. The second book was much better than the first, in my opinion.”
“Oh my god, I love you,” she blurts out. Her eyes go wide when she realizes what she just said.
We stare at each other for a long moment until a shit-eating grin takes over my entire face. “I told you to give it another month. Now, are you going to invite me inside? I’m ready for my treat.”
“What’s in the bag?” Lori asks as we walk down the street, hand in hand.
“It’s a surprise.”
“Another one? First you surprise me by cooking me breakfast and now you’re taking me on a surprise date.”
“You’re skipping the most important part of our morning.”
“Which time?” she asks.
“I enjoyed them all equally. Although I really enjoyed taking a shower with you.” I wink at her and we carry on walking until we reach the coffee shop.
She looks up at the sign. “Sanctum. Is this where you’re taking me or are we getting coffee?”
I push the door open and a little bell chimes. “Both.” She smiles as I hold the door open for her. Most of the women I know would be disappointed by a date at a coffee shop, but Lori is different. She’s special. I’ve brought her here for a reason and I watch her carefully, waiting to see her reaction.
She gasps when she spots the giant, two-seater beanbags and floor to ceiling bookshelves. “Oh. My. Freaking. God! What is this place?”
“I remembered that your dream is to open a bookshop with beanbags and cake.”
“And it already exists!” she says, looking around the room.
“Not quite. They don’t sell books here, but customers can stay for as long as they’d like and read any of the books in here.” I point to the counter. “And look; there’s cake.”
“I’ve died and gone to heaven. Can I just live here?”
I chuckle. “I knew you’d like it.”
“I don’t like it; I love it! I can’t believe I’m only just finding out about this place.” She walks over to one of the bookshelves and leans her head to one side as she peruses the titles.
“I wasn’t sure if they would have any of the genres you like so I brought back-up.”
“Are you joking? They have thousands of books in here.”
I take off my backpack and she turns around when I begin to unzip it. “I looked on your Goodreads and came prepared.”
She peeks inside the bag and then squeals. “You did not!”
“I did.”
“You bought them for me?”
“Yep.”
“You could have just picked one!”
“I couldn’t choose. They all sounded good.”
“You read the freaking blurbs?”
“Of course I did. I was tempted to keep one of them for myself. I need to find out what happens when April falls for her teacher.” I raise my eyebrow. “You have a thing for forbidden romance, huh?”
The way she looks at me with so much intensity makes my heart race. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”
“I keep asking myself the same thing.”
She stands on her tiptoes and kisses my neck before whispering, “Tonight is all about you. We can do anything you want.”
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
I pull her closer to me. “My plan has worked.”
She kisses me before taking the backpack from me. “That’s still hours away. What are you going to do all afternoon?”
“What do you mean? I’m going to be right here with you, eating cake and drinking coffee.”
“Okay but you should know that when I read, there’s no talking allowed.”
I chuckle. “That’s fine. I’ll take a nap. I need to make sure I’m fully rested for later. I’m going to put all of your damn book boyfriends to shame.”
When something seems too good to be true, it’s because it usually is. So when Lori sits me down a couple of weeks later and tells me that we need to talk, I mentally prepare myself for bad news. “What’s up?” I ask.
“I’ve been keeping something from you.”
My stomach drops. “What do you mean?”
“I’m sorry, Buzz. I’ve been lying to you and I’m ashamed that I’ve let it go on for so long. I should have been honest with you from the start but I never thought you would stick around long enough for this to be an issue.”
“Just tell me, Lori.”
“I’m not a nurse. I don’t work shifts.”
I frown. “So what do you do?”
“I’m a honey trapper.”
“A what?”
“I trap cheating men. I get hired by their wives and girlfriends.”
“How do you trap them?”
“I mostly flirt with them. I wear a microphone, so their partners receive a recording of them planning to come home with me. But sometimes…well, sometimes I have to kiss them.”
My heart starts to beat a little faster. Okay, a lot faster. “Why?”
“Because I need to prove they’re willing to cheat. I have an undercover photographer with me who captures it all.”
I feel sick to my stomach. “Doesn’t the recording prove they’re willing to cheat?”
“Some women believe that planning to cheat and actually going through with it are two different things.”
“So what happens after you kiss?”
“I go home. I usually sneak out of the back and they’re completely unaware of what just happened.”
“So you don’t confront them?”
“No. That wouldn’t be safe.”
“None of it sounds safe.” I take a deep breath and rub at my temples. “So let me get this straight…you don’t call or text them? There’s no prior relationship? You just turn up, see if they’re willing to kiss you and then leave?”
“Most of the time, yes.” She sighs. “But sometimes we have to drive with them to a rented apartment.”
&
nbsp; I stand up. “What the fuck?”
“If it’s a full trap, I have to try and prove that they’re prepared to take it one step further. I need to show that they’re willing to get into a car with me and drive to my fake apartment. Their partners are usually waiting inside to confront them. We have security there too.”
“I thought you said it was safe.”
“It is. I leave immediately and the guy who drives us there is also part of the security team. They pretend to be cab drivers. I’m never completely alone with the men. I get paid a lot of money, but I wouldn’t do the job if it was unsafe.”
“And what happens when they want to get revenge? What if they try to find you?”
She shrugs. “I wear a wig and use a fake name. I usually drive further out to avoid bumping into the guys that I trap. I haven’t had to deal with anything like that yet.”
“Yet.”
“I’m so sorry that I lied to you. It’s been eating me up inside.”
“If you were honest with me from the start, it wouldn’t have been an issue.”
“It wouldn’t?”
“No. But I have a problem with the lying.”
“I know. I’ve messed up.”
“I need some time to process it all.” This is why I don’t do relationships. I let myself be open and vulnerable for the first time in, well, forever, and this is what happens. “I’ll call you,” I tell her as I go to leave.
“I hope I haven’t lost you,” she says as I walk away.
I pause but don’t look back. I don’t tell her that it only hurts this much because she’s the one who found me.
“Do you want cookie dough or mint choc chip?” I ask, taking two spoons out of the drawer.
“Cookie dough, obviously,” Lori replies.
I walk over to her with a grin on my face. “That’s why we’re perfect for each other. I want the mint choc chip.”
“Of course you do. Why do you think I bought it?”
I place a hand over my heart. “You bought it just for me?”
“Yeah. You owe me.”
“Oh, I’ll repay the favor, don’t you worry about that. I can repay you right now if you want me to.” I sit down next to her and pull her onto my lap. “I’ll repay you all night long.” Her phone rings just as I lean in to kiss her. “Ignore it,” I say before placing my lips on hers. She groans and pulls away. “Lor, seriously. Just ignore it and get back here.”
