by Karli Perrin
She continues to desperately ride my face. “Please,” she begs. “I’m so close.”
I pull away. “I know you are. Tell me…do you want to come on my face or around my dick?”
“Dick. Now.”
That’s the answer I was hoping for. I unwrap her legs from around my neck and stand up, pulling her into a sitting position. I press my mouth against hers and use my tongue to part her lips. “Can you taste that?” I ask. “Can you taste what I do to you?”
“Yes,” she replies, her eyes full of pained desire.
I pull my pants and boxers down and then kick them off so that I’m completely naked. She looks at my dick and her eyes go wide like it’s the first time she’s seeing it. “What’s up, sweetheart? Did you forget how big it was?”
She rolls her eyes. “Actually, it’s smaller than I remember. Now please hurry up.”
I laugh. “Hmmm, maybe I should make you wait a little longer?” I grab my dick and start to move up and down. “We should probably wait until it’s bigger.” I would rip her to shreds if I was any bigger, but I can’t resist teasing her.
She jumps down off the counter and pushes my hand away. My head falls back as she takes over but I’m way too horny for a hand job. The only way I’m going to be satisfied is by being inside of her. She squeals as I quickly turn her around and bend her over. I push her skirt up even further then grab onto an ass cheek as I position my dick. I tease her with the tip, moving it up and down until she gets impatient and moves her ass back, pushing me deep inside of her. She gasps as I start to move, nice and slow to begin with. If this doesn’t remind her how good we are together, I don’t know what will. She lifts her ass even higher as she lets her arms drop, pressing the side of her face against the counter. I grab the back of her hair, which doesn’t even resemble a bun anymore and increase the pace. She cries out as I pound into her, making up for lost time. I pull her head back so I can look her in the eyes and when her moaning gets louder, I pull out. She groans as I turn her around to face me. “I’m sorry but I’ve waited six months to watch you come again.”
Her eyes are two dark slits. “Then watch me.”
I lift her back up onto the counter and she wraps her legs around me. “I need to hear you say my name.”
I thrust into her without warning and she cries out, pulling me even closer to her. “Oh, Buzz!”
“That’s it, baby. Say my name.”
“Oh, fuck. Keep going. That’s it. Oh, Buzz! Oh, Buzz! Oh, Buzz!”
She comes long and hard and about a minute later, so do I. I look her in the eye as her body shudders. This has always been my favorite part; being so vulnerable when I’m used to having my guard up. Her head flops onto my shoulder and I pull her even closer to me, wishing that we could stay like this forever. “I’ve missed you,” I whisper into her hair.
“I’ve missed you, too,” she replies after a long pause.
We stay like that for a little while and when she pulls away, I see the unmistakable sadness and worry in her eyes. “Oh no, was it that bad?” I joke. “I know I’m a little rusty, but I thought I did okay.”
“I’m sorry,” she says as she awkwardly lifts herself off me. “My head is all messed up.”
“You don’t need to apologize for anything,” I say as I step into my pants and pick up her bra. “We’re in this together.” She jumps down from the counter then pulls her skirt down, smoothing it out as best she can. My dick already misses her and is ready to go again at the sight of her wearing nothing but her skirt and heels. She takes the bra out of my hand and puts it back on while looking around for her blouse. I bend down to pick it up then shake it to make sure there’s no glass on it. “I’m sorry I ruined it,” I say with a smirk. “I’ll buy you another one.”
She shakes her head as she slips back into it. “It’s fine.”
“Do you want to wear one of my shirts instead?”
“No,” she replies a little too quickly. “No. I’ve got a jacket in the car.”
“I think you should forget about the blouse and just wear the skirt. It’s a good look on you. I knew it would be. My imagination never fails me.” I pull her into my arms and thread my hands through hers. “Have you eaten? Do you want to order takeout? I’ve worked up an appetite.”
She grimaces and pulls away from me. “Um, no. I need to get back.”
“What? You’re leaving already?”
“John doesn’t know where I am and I’ve got his car. He’s probably getting worried.”
“Well how about I come with you? We can return the car then come back here or go to your place, whichever you’d prefer.”
She shakes her head as her eyes fill with tears. “I tried to leave, Buzz. I wanted to leave but it was like some kind of thread was pulling me back to you. I got stopped at about five red lights in a row and I thought it was a sign. I needed to be with you one last time.”
My heart sinks and a shiver runs down my spine. “One last time?”
“It was selfish of me. I’m sorry.”
“Wait…are you going back to him?”
“Buzz…”
“Oh, wow. You’re actually going back to him, aren’t you? After what we just did?”
“Please. I don’t know what I can say to make any of this better. This whole situation is fucked up.”
“No. What’s fucked up is that you’re going home to another man while my come is still inside you.” Her face falls. “Did that mean nothing to you? Was it just a quick fuck?”
“Please don’t do this. You know that’s not what it was.”
“No, I don’t know. I don’t have a clue what’s happening. You came here tonight and reeled off a list of reasons why you can’t be with me but then you came back here and practically begged me to fuck you. Forgive me for not being able to keep up.”
A tear falls from her eye. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come back. This isn’t fair on anybody.”
I shrug, trying to act like I don’t care. “Stop apologizing. I finally got laid after six months. At least I don’t have to jerk…”
Her cell rings, interrupting me mid-sentence. She reaches into her purse, which I didn’t even know she had, and glances at the screen. She bites her lip and cancels the call. I laugh even though there’s nothing remotely funny about this situation. “Was that him?” She nods. “Well you better run back home to him. I’m guessing you’re not going to tell him about what we just did?”
She looks down at her feet. “No. I don’t want to hurt him.”
“So you don’t want to hurt him but you’re fine with hurting me?”
“That’s not what I meant. He doesn’t need to know about it because it’s never going to happen again. We both need time to move on from this so I think it’ll be easier if you don’t call me.”
In the past, this would have been the perfect hook up but not now. Not with Lori. It’s the complete opposite of what I want to hear. “Don’t call you? So we’re not even allowed to be friends now?”
“We could never be friends, you even said it yourself.”
“So what happens now?” I ask.
“Nothing. We move on and pretend that it never happened.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Please try.”
“It’s impossible to move on from you, Lori. Was that closure for you? Is that what it was?”
“Maybe. I don’t even know.”
“Or did you just want an orgasm? Can he not make you come?”
“Don’t do this.”
“Do what?” I shout. “Don’t feel anything for you after what just happened?”
“You should be used to it by now.”
“Used to what?”
“Fucking girls then moving on with your life. Fucking without feelings.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t use my past against me. That’s not who I am anymore, and you know it. I changed the moment that I met you. Don’t try and convince yourself that I’ll be okay just to make yourself
feel better. When you fall asleep tonight and every other night for that matter, just know that I’m aching for you. Know that it kills me to think about you in his arms when you belong in mine.”
Her tears are falling fast now. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me.”
“Just leave. Go home to your boyfriend.”
“Buzz…”
I turn away from her. I can’t watch her leave, not for a second time. “Go.”
I fall to my knees when I hear the door open and close. It would be easy to hate her right now. It would be easy to hate myself. Hating somebody is easy but loving somebody is the hard part. Love takes courage and now more than ever, I need to be strong. She might have lost her way, just like I did six months ago, but I won’t give up on her. Nothing worth having comes easy.
The next morning, I feel jet lagged and hungover at the same time. That’s what happens when you spend all night thinking instead of sleeping. I probably got around three hours sleep at most and those three hours were filled with dreams of Lori. No, not dreams. Nightmares. Nightmares about her and John being happy together. The one which hurt the most was when she left him and came back to me. It was so realistic; I could feel her in my arms. And then I woke up and it hurt all over again. I was too scared to fall back to sleep so I stayed awake and watched crappy shopping channels. I’m now the proud owner of a twirling spaghetti fork and a heated throw which also doubles up as a dressing gown. Every cloud has a silver lining.
After showering and forcing myself to eat a protein bar, I decide that I need to get out of the house before I drive myself crazy. I call Mason when it finally starts to get light outside.
“Hello?” he answers, sounding half-asleep.
“Coffee?”
“Buzz…it’s six thirty.”
“Exactly. It’s the perfect time to have coffee.”
He groans. “It’s the worst time to have coffee.”
“Why? You sound tired. Coffee will help with that.”
“I am tired. It’s six thirty on a Saturday. Sane people don’t get up this early unless they have to. I’ll skip the coffee but thanks for the offer…and the wake-up call.”
“Anytime. Hey, is Sophia there?”
“Yeah. Why?”
"Is she in bed with you?"
"Yes..."
“Is she naked?”
He hangs up without saying bye.
I hesitate before making the next call. I know that it’s going to lead to a difficult conversation, but I need to hear what she has to say. I take a deep breath and prepare myself to hear some home truths.
“Hello,” she answers immediately.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Why are you awake so early? You’re never up at this time on a Saturday. Are you calling me from a jail cell?”
I laugh. “No, Mom, I’m not in jail. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Me neither and now I know why.”
“Huh?”
“Mother’s intuition. I must have been able to sense that you were awake.”
“Um, sure. Do you want to meet up for breakfast?”
“Could we do lunch instead, sweetheart? I have a meeting with my accountant this morning.”
“Of course. One o’clock at our usual spot?”
“Sounds great. See you then. Oh, and make sure you wear some pants which actually cover your butt. I’ll never understand why people think it’s cool to show off their underwear. What’s that singer called? Justin Beaver?”
I burst out laughing. “Justin Bieber.”
“Yes, that's the one. He’s always got his underpants on show.”
“And how would you know? Have you been insta-stalking him?”
“Instant what?”
“Never mind.”
“Surely he can afford a pair of jeans which actually fit him. Imagine if women walked around showing their panties off?”
“Yes, I can imagine that…vividly. That sounds like the perfect world, Mom.”
She tuts. “And while I’m on the subject of fashion, don’t wear any of those skinny jeans either. They’re just as bad as the baggy ones. You’re so tall, they make your legs look like drainpipes.”
“No jeans. Anything else?”
“No, I think that’s it for now.”
I chuckle as I end the call. I can always count on my mom to say it exactly how it is.
I walk into the restaurant ten minutes early to make sure I can grab us a nice table, but my mom’s already beat me to it. She’s sitting next to the window and is deep in conversation with another woman who I’ve never seen before.
I make my way over to them, willing my baggy jeans to fall even further down my ass. She stands and waves when she notices me, but her smile is quickly replaced by a raised eyebrow. I don’t know why she’s surprised. She should know me by now. I smirk as I stop in front of her and kiss her on the cheek. “You’re looking lovely today, Mother.”
“That’s because my clothes actually fit me,” she whispers and then gestures to the woman sitting opposite her. “This is my friend Julie from college. We haven’t seen each other in years. We thought it might be nice for us all to share a table.”
I smile politely even though I was looking forward to some time alone with her. “Nice to meet you, Julie.”
“You too. I’ve heard a lot about you over the years.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ve heard some delightful stories,” I say as I sit down next to my mom. “Whatever trouble I was in, you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve matured a lot since then.”
“Have you?” my mom jokes.
Julie laughs. “I have a son a few years older than you. We used to compare notes when you were kids. You were both so cheeky. I'm sure you would have been the best of friends. I’m actually waiting to meet him and my daughter-in-law for lunch.” She giggles to herself. “Look at me getting carried away. She’s not my daughter-in-law yet but I’m sure she will be soon. My son is extremely smitten by her. He’s already mentioned ring shopping. It’s all so exciting! I’ve been out of town so this is the first time I’m meeting her. We’ve spoken on FaceTime but it’s not the same, is it?”
“Is it your Sebastian?” my mom asks.
“No, not Seb. It’s my youngest, Jonathan. Oh look, here they come right now.”
My blood runs cold when I look over at the door and see Lori and John walking towards us, hand in hand. John is her son? This can’t be happening. I must be dreaming. This is just another nightmare. Wake up, Buzz. I pinch myself but nothing happens.
John spots me first. His eyes widen then quickly narrow as he whispers something to Lori, who is looking down at her feet. Her head immediately snaps up and our eyes lock. Everything turns to slow motion as I’m transported back to last night when she was mine. She looks confused as she slows her walk and whispers something back to him. A different emotion flashes in her eyes and I’m pretty sure it’s relief. I cling to it like my life depends on it.
Julie stands up. “Jonathan! Lori! I’m so happy you’re here.” She wraps her arms around Lori. “It’s so great to finally meet you!”
Lori smiles politely. Even though she could give Jennifer Lawrence a run for her money, I can tell that deep down she's feeling just as awkward as I am. “You too, Mrs Crown.”
“Please call me Julie. Before we get to anything else, I want to thank you for making my son so happy.”
Dagger, meet heart.
My mom’s hand finds mine under the table and she gives it a little squeeze. I turn to face her and she nods reassuringly, her eyes full of understanding. Has her mother’s intuition kicked in again? Can she sense how much I’m hurting right now? I never told her why I broke up with Lori, but she saw how happy we were together…and how unhappy I was after we split. Lori is the only woman that I have ever taken home to meet my mom.
“John, Lori, this is my old friend from college and her son.”
My mom smiles. “Nice to meet you, John. And I’ve already had the pleasure of meeting
Lori.”
“Oh, really?” Julie asks. “What a small world! How do you two know each other?”
This should be interesting.
“We have the same friends,” Lori quickly replies.
“My best friend is engaged to Lori’s best friend,” I add.
“Aww, how sweet! When are they getting married?”
I roll my eyes when John pulls a chair out for his mom and then for Lori. Why does he try so hard to be perfect? Perfect is overrated.
“Next spring,” Lori says as she pours herself a glass of water. My eyes fall to her mouth and I watch as she takes a little sip. Memories of last night come flooding back and I picture my name falling from her lips over and over again as I made her come. Awesome. As if getting a hard-on in front of my mother isn’t bad enough, I’m also sitting opposite my ex, her new boyfriend and his mother. My life is getting more and more fucked up by the second.
Julie wiggles her eyebrows up and down. “A spring wedding sounds perfect, doesn’t it, John?”
He laughs. “Yes. A summer wedding sounds pretty perfect too. Or a fall wedding. Or even a winter one. Which season would you like to get married in, babe?”
I wait for her to say winter.
“I don’t think it really matters,” she replies, looking like she wants the ground to open up and swallow her. “But I’ve always liked the thought of a winter wedding.”
Bingo.
“Me too,” John says with a wink. Prick. I grab on to the edge of the table when he adds. “A winter wedding it’ll be then.”
“Oh,” my mom says. “I didn’t realize you were wedding planning.”
“We’re not” Lori says, looking from my mom to me. I’m pleased by her answer until she adds, “Not yet.”
“There’s no need to rush into anything,” I say. “You should take your time…consider all of your options.”
“Oh, I think Lori knows what she wants by now,” John replies, taking hold of her hand.
She certainly knew what she wanted last night and it wasn’t dentist dick.
“Haven’t you always said that you wanted to be married by the time you were thirty, babe?”
