by Karli Perrin
“I do?” she asks, looking confused.
“Yes, you do. Buzz can help me with the drinks.” Lori rolls her eyes but Sophia simply waves her away and gestures for me to follow her into the kitchen.
“Can we have beer instead of that posh crap you had the other night?” I ask as the door closes behind us.
She ignores me and opens the utensil drawer. “Take a long, hard look at all of those knives, Buzz.”
“Um, okay?”
“Don’t make me use one on you.”
I hold my hands up. “Woah, woah, woah! What are you talking about?”
She slams the drawer shut and lowers her voice. “I know what you did.”
I look around. “Are we filming some kind of crappy horror movie?”
“We can be. I’ve just shown you my knives." She narrows her eyes and points at me. “You promised to leave them alone.”
“Oh, is this about Lori?”
“Of course it’s about Lori. She told me what happened last night.”
I shrug. “Shit happens.”
“Shit happens?” She takes a step closer to me. “You know that I like you but don’t you dare mess around with my best friend. We had to leave the restaurant because she couldn’t stop crying!”
My heart sinks. “She’s upset?”
“Of course she’s upset! She’s riddled with guilt and her head is all over the place. Lori isn’t a cheater but what you did has turned her into one. Why did you do it? To piss off John?"
I begin to pace up and down. "This has nothing to do with him."
"Then why?"
“Because I still have feelings for her. I thought you would understand after our conversation the other night."
"And I thought you were going to give her some space to see what happened with John, not jump into bed with her less than twenty four hours later!"
"We didn't make it to my bed."
She throws her hands up in the air. “One minute she’s talking about moving in with John and the next minute she’s talking about leaving him!”
My heart leaps out of my fucking chest. “Wait...she’s leaving him?”
“No! Maybe! Ugh, I don’t know!”
“Well what did she say? Is she seriously considering leaving him?”
“We’re not having this conversation. I've already said too much.”
“Fine, I’ll have it with Lori instead…”
“Don’t you dare! I’m only telling you because you need to know how confused she is. She’s vulnerable at the minute and you should give her some space to sort her shit out.”
“It's not fair that you're asking me to stay away. Her decision will affect me too."
“I just don’t want you to make this harder on her.”
“I was trying to make it easier for her. I was trying to remind her how good we are together and by the sounds of it, it seems to have worked.”
“She’s good with John too.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Lori’s,” she simply replies, hands on hips, looking like she’s ready for battle.
“Me too.”
“No. You’re on your own side.”
“If I was on my own side, I’d be fucking anything with a heartbeat. I’d be sleeping like a baby instead of staying awake all night thinking about her. Trust me when I say that I'm doing neither of those things."
She sighs as she walks over to the fridge, pulling out several cans of beer and passing them to me. “Please don't hurt her. I was left to pick up the pieces six months ago and I don't want to do it all over again.”
“You won’t have to.” I just hope that it’s a two-way street. “Have you finished threatening me?”
“Threatening you? Trust me…that was just a friendly warning.”
“Jesus Christ. Mason’s got his hands full. Thank god I chose Lori instead.”
She scowls and pushes me towards the door. “Get out of my kitchen.”
“With pleasure,” I mumble under my breath.
“I heard that!” she shouts just as the door is closing behind me.
I head towards the lounge and place the beers down in front of Mason who is scrolling through Netflix.
“Netflix and chill?” I ask.
“How many times do I have to tell you? I’m engaged…and straight.”
“You’re not my type anyway.”
He chuckles. “Then who is?”
“Chris Hemsworth.”
“Thor?”
“Yep. Rough and rugged.”
He bursts out laughing. “You want Thor’s hammer?”
“Yeah to play whack-a-mole on your head. Where’s Lori?”
“What about his brother Liam? You could have a threesome.”
“Nah, he's too clean cut. Where’s Lori?”
“Wait a minute…so you like dirty old men with big hammers?”
I ignore him and walk out of the room to the sound of him laughing.
I head straight for the game room and sure enough find Lori perched on the edge of the pool table, looking at Mason’s artwork. She gives me a sad smile when she sees me. “Hi,” I say as I sit down next to her.
“Hi,” she replies.
“What do you think?” I ask, gesturing to the canvas.
“I don’t get it.”
“If you squint, it kind of looks like a horse riding on a cloud.”
I laugh when she actually squints. “Hmmm, it looks more like a cow standing on the top of a mountain to me.”
We sit in silence for at least a minute. “How are you?” I whisper.
“Not great. You?”
“Fucking miserable.”
Her chin drops to her chest. “Has Sophia just threatened to chop off your balls?”
“Pretty much.”
She grimaces. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. I get it.”
“I just needed to talk to somebody about it.”
“You can always talk to me.”
She shakes her head. “I needed to talk to somebody impartial.”
“Impartial? She’s your best friend.”
She laughs and it’s like music to my ears. “You know what I’m saying. Somebody who isn’t directly involved. I have a feeling your advice would be a little biased.”
“Biased? Never. I’d tell you the truth…which is that you should break up with John immediately.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yep.”
“And why do you think that?”
Because he’s a fucking idiot. “How long have we got? This could take a while.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m listening.”
“Number one – he’s a dentist. You must feel pressured to have fresh breath all of the time.”
“No, not really.”
“Well you should. I know how much you love garlic. Number two – he’s five foot two.”
“He’s five nine.”
“Hey, does he need one of those toddler steps to reach the sink?”
“Stop it.”
“Okay. Serious question now. When you wear heels, does he just disappear? Do you have to crouch down and look for him?"
“Not everybody can be a giant like you.”
“You’re right, they can’t. Which leads me to my next point - he has a tiny dick.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Says who?”
“I’m only saying what you’re thinking. You're not exactly in a rush to deny it." She scowls but keeps quiet. "You're still not denying it which must mean that I'm right. You shouldn't settle for a teenie weenie." I grab my crotch. "Especially when you can have this."
"I'm not discussing the size of his penis with you."
"Fair enough. Number four…”
“Oh, you still haven’t finished?”
“Nope. Number four – he keeps a lock of your hair on his desk at work.”
“What the hell are you talking about?
“You know, next to his framed Facebook photograph of you.”
/>
“Oh, you must mean the one you threw in the bin.”
“That’s the one. The one which I took of you when you were in my bed…naked.”
“Yes, you keep reminding me of that fact. Anything else?"
I slide off the edge of the table and stand directly in front of her. “Yes,” I reply, no longer joking around. “He’s not me.”
We stare at each other for a long time and I can’t remember the last time I took a breath. The air shifts, becoming so thick that I can’t see anything but her and the hungry look in her eyes. I have no doubt that she wants me just as much as I want her.
She uncrosses her legs and her dress rides up, revealing smooth, toned thighs. I have to fight the urge to wrap them around my neck like I did last night. I place my hands down on either side of her and take a step closer. “Buzz…” she warns as my thighs press up against her bare knees.
“If you were mine,” I tell her. “I would fuck you right here on this pool table.” A tiny moan escapes her lips. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Buzz, we can’t do this.”
“You mean we can’t even talk about fucking?”
“Last night was…”
“Fucking awesome?” I interrupt.
“A mistake.”
“Making mistakes has to be better than faking perfections...or you know, orgasms.”
She rolls her eyes. “That doesn’t justify making the mistake in the first place. What we did was wrong.”
“How can it be wrong when it felt so right?” I lean in even closer. “Do you need me to remind you how good it felt? How right it felt?”
“No. It was a one-time thing, Buzz. I can't do it again.”
“You can do whatever the hell you want. Whoever you want.”
She closes her eyes. “Please stop making it so damn hard to resist you.”
“Please stop trying so hard to resist me,” I shoot back.
I’m not sure which open first – her eyes or her legs but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that my mouth is on hers.
And her tongue is caressing mine.
And my hand is gripping the back of her neck.
And she’s fisting my t-shirt, pulling me closer.
And my rock-hard dick is pressing into her.
And she’s wrapping her legs around me.
And Sophia is shouting.
Wait…
“What the hell are you doing?” she shouts from the door as she rushes over to us. “No, no, no! Get off the fucking table.” I take a step back and help Lori down. “I leave you alone for two minutes and this is how I find you! Jesus Christ! You are not using my house as your little sordid love nest.”
“I’m sorry,” Lori mumbles.
“You know that I love you both and I love you even more as a couple but you’re with John now. Until you break up with him, I don’t approve of what you’re doing. I don’t like it and I certainly won’t be a part of it. So you can either go home and take your bad karma with you or stay here and keep your dirty little hands off each other.”
I salute her. “Yes, Mom.”
“Go and eat your damn pizza,” she tells me. “It arrived a couple of minutes ago.”
I turn to Lori. “Are you okay?” She nods, still breathing heavily. “I’ll save you some of the pepperoni.” I leave the room but stop just outside the doorway where I'm out of sight.
“What were you thinking?” I hear Sophia whisper angrily.
“I wasn’t thinking” she answers.
“You can’t drop your panties every time he flashes a smile at you, Lor.”
Why not?
“I have no self-control around him.”
“Well yeah, that’s becoming blatantly obvious.”
“It’s like I’m a completely different person to who I was a few days ago. Seeing him has brought back all these emotions that I worked hard to bury. I think I'm addicted to him."
“Addictions are dangerous,” Sophia replies.
“I’m not sure how to quit him.”
Don’t quit me.
“But you want to? Quit him?”
Please don't quit me.
“No, I don’t think I do.” She sighs. “But I know what’s best for me.”
“And that’s John?”
My heart stops as I wait for her to answer. “Yes.” My whole body deflates. “I know that my heart would be safe with him, but I don’t want to live with any regrets, you know? I don’t want Buzz to be the one that got away. What I have with him is pretty special. I’m not sure I’ll find that with anybody else, not even with John. I told Buzz that I want the white picket fence but what good is it if you’re constantly wondering if the grass is greener on the other side of it?”
“But you’ve been on the other side. You already know whether it’s greener.”
“I can’t compare them. They’re like night and day. I think that’s why it’s so difficult.”
“Well you need to figure out what you want ASAP. It’s cruel to lead them on.”
I jump when somebody taps me on the shoulder. I wheel around to see Mason, his eyebrow raised. “Are you spying on my fiancée again?”
"Again?"
"I recall a time when you were outside her house with binoculars."
"Oh yeah, the time that you were there too.”
“Only because you asked me to. You were the one who wanted to stay there all night just to see if Lori’s date showed up. We nearly got busted by the neighbors. Anyway, stop trying to change the subject. Seriously, what are you doing?”
“Be quiet, I’m trying to listen.”
“Fine, I’ll just ask the girls what you’re doing instead.”
I prod a finger into his chest and whisper, “Don’t you fucking dare.”
“Then start talking.”
“I’ve lost my cell,” I lie. “I just came back to look for it.”
“Your cell?” I nod. “You mean the one in your pocket?” he asks, pointing to it.
“There it is! No wonder I couldn’t find it. Thanks, Brother.” Judging by the look on his face, he’s already bored of this little game. I gesture for him to follow me and don’t stop until we’re at the other end of the hallway. “Do you want to know the truth or the ugly truth?”
“Ugly. Always.”
“I don’t want a lecture.”
“Okay,” he says, looking worried.
“I had sex with Lori last night,” I blurt out.
"Has she ended things with John then?”
I wince. “No.” He closes his eyes and when he opens them, I see the disappointment. “Look, I know what you’re probably thinking.”
“What am I probably thinking?”
“That this is just me being me. Typical Buzz. That this was some drunken fuck or some kind of dick measuring contest but it was neither of those things.”
“Then what was it?”
“It was how it should be all the damn time. It was us. Just us."
“But that's the thing. It’s not just you two. There are three of you.”
“I don’t need the reminder.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”
“Trust me. That smug, sparkly-toothed bastard is all I’ve been thinking about these past few days.”
“Are you having sex with him too?”
“Fuck off.”
“I had to check. Seriously though, your happiness will always mean more to me than any of Lori’s boyfriends, but I don’t want your happiness to be the cause of somebody else’s pain. You need to do the right thing, Brother.”
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder.”
“Yes, Boss.” I follow him into the lounge and my stomach rumbles when I eye the pizza boxes.
“You could try a little harder at work too,” he says, handing me a plate.
“And you could try a little harder to stop being such a dick.”
He places a hand over his heart. “How dare you. I bought you pi
zza.”
“It’s a start,” I reply as I open one of the boxes. I choose the slice with the most jalapeños on and I’m just about to take a bite when a cell begins to vibrate on the table next to me. I look down and see John's name flashing across the brightly lit screen. I throw the pizza back onto the plate and wipe my hand before bending down to pick it up.
“Is that Sophia’s or Lori’s?” Mason asks.
I don’t answer him. Instead, I answer the call. “Lori’s a little preoccupied at the minute,” I drawl.
“Who is this?”
“Come on, John. You should know who it is. We’ve spent a lot of time together recently.”
His voice turns to steel. “Where’s Lori? Why have you got her cell?”
“Hmmm, which question do you want me to answer first?”
“Where’s Lori?” he asks again through clenched teeth.
“She’s busy.” I take a bite of pizza then moan. “Mmmmm, so good. Just how I like it.”
Mason appears in front of me, arms folded. “You’re not trying very hard.”
I wave him away and take another bite of pizza. “Who was that?” John asks.
“Mason.”
“I thought Lori and Sophia were having dinner alone.”
“Well you thought wrong. Plans change, John. People change too. You better get used to it.”
“Put Lori on the damn phone.”
“She’s tied up at the moment.”
“I’m not in the mood for your games.”
“Bye then.”
“Don’t you dare hang…”
I dare. Of course I dare. I end the call then place her cell back on the table in the exact same position as it was. I fall backwards onto the couch and catch Mason staring at me. “What?” I ask, innocently.
“Did you really have to do that?”
“Yeah, I really did.”
“But you’re certain that this isn’t a dick measuring contest...”
“Correct. But if it was, I’d win.”
“I’m a little worried how you would even know that.”
I shrug. “Lori didn’t deny it.”
“You spoke to Lori about the size of his dick? That is so fucked up.”
“You can say that again.”
“That is so…” he stops talking mid-sentence when Lori and Sophia walk into the room. He points to the pizza box, recovering quickly. “Delicious. That pizza is so delicious.”
“The best in town,” I add. “Will you two be joining us?”
