by Lacey London
‘Is this it?’ I ask, pointing to the flimsy fastening. ‘Is this all that will be keeping me safe?’
‘No! You will also be needing this.’ I take the life vest and eye it up carefully, trying not to be alarmed at the faint hissing sound.
‘All ready?’ An excited Oliver asks, grabbing my hand.
‘As ready as I’ll ever be.’
Not wanting to look up, I keep my eyes fixed firmly on my wobbly knees. The instructor reels off safety instructions, but I try my best to block them out. My nerves are not helped by the fact that the patchwork life vest and dodgy old whistle are my only hopes of survival.
I squeeze my eyes tightly shut as the engine starts to roar. I actually cannot believe that I am doing this. The wind starts to pick up at an alarming pace, causing my feet to slowly lift off the boat. Feeling myself start to sway back and forth, I will myself not to vomit. The last time I felt like this was on a dodgy fairground ride in 1998.
‘Clara! Open your eyes! You gotta see this!’ Oliver’s animated voice travels through the air and I cautiously peel open one eye.
Oh my God! How did we get this high so quickly? Looking down at the sparkling water below us, I am suddenly very aware that the only thing holding me up is a threadbare wire, in a very questionable double knot. There is no way this would pass health and safety regulations back home. Staring out to sea, I try to see the fun side of this. The exhilarating, adrenaline fuelled, exciting side. It doesn’t take me long to decide that this really isn’t for me. Oliver on the other hand, is leaning forward in his harness making me incredibly nervous.
‘Do you have to do that?’
‘Oh come on!’ Oliver laughs and continues anyway.
As I try to find something to focus on to get through this ordeal, a high pitched cackle behind us catches my attention. What the hell is that? Praying that it’s not a goddamn pelican, I strain my neck around. Oh no! It’s worse than a pelican, far worse. It’s Randy and Janie. How are they so close to us? There is absolutely no way that this is safe.
‘Oliver, I’m really not feeling too good.’ Becoming incredibly hot and bothered, I wave my arms around trying to get the boat drivers attention. Not that it does much good with him being nothing more than a mere speck below us.
‘Oliver! I need to get down!’ Bile rises in my throat and I try to ignore it.
‘What did you say babe?’
‘I said, I need to get down!’ Kicking my legs in annoyance, I let out a frustrated squeal.
Only that is not all that comes out. The spinach omelette I had for breakfast makes a break for freedom, swiftly followed by the espresso and then unfortunately, the glass of fizz. For a moment I feel instantly better, only the good feeling doesn’t last long. The ear piercing shriek that follows my unfortunate incident almost makes my ears bleed. Spinning around in my harness, I cover my mouth in horror.
‘Argh! It’s in my hair! Randy! Do something!’
Chapter 17
Wandering around the hotel gift shop, I am relieved to be spending a little time on my own. After this morning’s parasailing fiasco, Oliver took his parents scuba diving, which obviously I decided not to take part in. Being up in the air didn’t agree with me so I really didn’t want to chance going below sea level. Once I had waved them off and expressed my sincere apologies to Janie for the hundredth time, I took myself off on a walk.
Wandering through the hotel grounds, it didn’t take me long to stumble across the coolest, little gift shop. Tucked away near the sea front, I almost walked straight passed it.
Picking up a tiny, ceramic jewellery box, I admire the hand painted Mexican flag. My mum would love this. Flipping it over, I try to convert the cost into sterling. Calculating it to be around a fiver, I drop it into my basket. As I make my way through the shop, I chuck a handful of turtle key rings in too, followed by a shimmering bottle of tequila.
Watching the shop assistant straighten up a window display, I tiptoe over for a closer look. Plucking a purple candy skull from the table, I study it closely, not being able to work out if I love it or hate it. Deciding that I love it, I pop it into my basket before picking up a coral and gold one. Hand painted with shades of vibrant red, it really is beautiful. Satisfied that I have fed my urge for a bit of retail therapy, I dump my chosen items down at the checkout. Impulse buying really is good for the soul. That and it turns out, a dodgy stomach. Result.
Later that day, I am sat on the rooftop terrace, sipping an ice cold drink, when my phone buzzes on the table. Seeing Lianna’s name flash up on the screen gives me butterflies. Finally! I have been dying to hear back from her! Jabbing on the message icon, the text pops up on the display.
Clara! I’m in Paris! Dan proposed under the Eiffel Tower! So happy! Call me when you’re home!
Wow! Paris! How romantic! Smiling from ear to ear, I clutch the phone to my chest happily. This is so exciting! It has been so long since I went to a wedding. I wonder what kind of wedding they will have? Ooo! I hope it is a big, white wedding! Checking my watch, I am about to finish up my drink when I spot Oliver coming my way. Really hoping that his parents aren’t with him, I flash him a smile.
‘Hey! Are you feeling better?’ He drops down in the seat opposite with a thud.
‘I am.’ I raise my glass as if to emphasise my point.
‘You sure?’ Grabbing my hands, he stares at me intently, his eyes creased with concern.
‘Yes! I got motion sickness that’s all. Where are your parents?’
‘Dad is taking my mom to Isla Mujeres on a boat trip, so it’s just you and me.’ Kissing my hand gently, he pulls me to my feet. ‘Come on.’
‘Wait! I have news!’ Spinning around to face him, I place my empty glass on the bar.
‘You do?’ Oliver’s eyes light up and his mouth peels back into a huge grin.
‘Lianna and Dan have got engaged!’
‘That’s fantastic! When did this happen?’ The smile stays put, but the twinkle in his eyes fades a little.
‘Dan took her to Paris and proposed under the Eiffel Tower! Isn’t that just perfect?’
‘Yeah. It’s not how I would do it, but it’s romantic.’ Entwining his fingers through mine, we begin walking back to the room.
‘Really? And how would you do it?’ Biting my lip, I gaze up at him expectantly.
‘Ring in the dessert. Definitely.’
What? That is the lamest proposal I have ever heard. He’s joking. He has to be joking. I hope.
‘Anyway.’ Shaking my head to get rid of the pathetic image, I change the subject. ‘What do you have planned for tonight?’
‘Actually, I thought we could stay in and order room service. How does that sound?’
‘I can’t think of anything I would want to do more.’
Fresh from the shower, I dive under the covers and make a grab for the room service menu.
‘Get me the burger. No the pizza, actually, get both.’ Passing over the menu to Oliver, I flick on the air conditioning. ‘Do you fancy sharing a pepperoni?’
‘Sounds good. Fries?’
‘Absolutely. Oh, and get a bottle of bubbles! We are on holiday after all.’ Stretching out on the soft bedding, I make a mental note to order new sheets when we get back home.
‘Do you think that’s wise?’ He drops the menu as his brow creases into a frown.
‘What do you mean?’ Pushing myself up onto my elbows, I look at him confused.
‘Look, I wanted to leave it until you felt ready to tell me, but I don’t want you to be going through this alone.’ Leaning down, he strokes my hair fondly.
‘What are you talking about?’ Perplexed, I roll out of bed and slip on a bath robe.
‘It’s OK. You don’t need to pretend anymore. I know.’ He wraps me up in a bear hug and I wiggle free frustrated.
‘You know what?’
‘I know that you’re pregnant!’ He throws his arms in the air and laughs happily.
‘What?’ Feeling like I have
been scolded with a hot iron, I push him away. ‘I’m not pregnant! Why on Earth would you think that?’
‘Oh, come on! The ravenous appetite, the morning sickness, the bloating. We’ve all noticed it’
‘Bloating?’ Mortified, I suck in my stomach. ‘I haven’t been bloated! Have I?’
‘Why are you fighting this? I’m going to be here for you. It’s gonna be OK.’
‘Oliver! I am not going to say this again. I am not pregnant.’ Exasperated, I stomp towards the bathroom.
‘Alright. Prove it.’
Stopping dead in my tracks, I turn around slowly. ‘I don’t need to prove anything. I am categorically not pregnant.’
‘Then you won’t have any problem with taking a test.’ He slips on his shoes and makes for the door.
‘Where are you going?’ Following him out into the hotel lobby, I pull the fluffy robe tightly around me.
He smiles like the cat that got the cream and kisses me on the nose.
‘To get a test.’
8.13am
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Congratulations!!!!!
OMG!! Congratulations!!
More details needed.... I need to know EVERYTHING!!!
sdjnsjvskrnkrnbormblmblfdmbsvksnvb (this is how excited I am)
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Chapter 18
‘There’s a line!’ I screech from the bathroom.
‘There is?’ Oliver’s hopeful voice makes me even angrier.
‘Yes and you crossed it!’ Flinging open the door, I throw the sealed pregnancy test at him. How have I gone from cocktails on the beach to taking a pregnancy test that I can’t even read in one afternoon?
‘You haven’t taken it?’ Looking totally perplexed, he sits down on the edge of the bed and folds his arms. ‘Why?’
‘Because I’m not pregnant, Oliver. Can you please drop it now?’ Curling up in the armchair, I look out to the sunset, wishing all this baby talk would just go away.
‘Fine, but no alcohol until I see a test.’ He shoots me a stern look and shakes his head accusingly.
I am about to fire back a retort when there’s a knock at the door. How could he even think that I would drink if I was pregnant?
‘That’ll be the room service. Pass me my wallet.’ Throwing it a little harder than necessary, I try to hide my smirk when it bounces off his head.
Slipping out onto the balcony, I flop down onto the lounger and look up at the night sky. I cannot believe that he genuinely thinks I am pregnant. Where has all this come from? A girl gets a little motion sickness and suddenly she’s knocked up? Looking down at my stomach, I have to admit that it is a little swollen, but who doesn’t gain a few pounds on holiday? Pregnant, I think I would know if I was pregnant.
The delicious smell of junk food drifts out from the suite, teasing me to come inside. As much as I want to stay out here in an anti baby protest, my grumbling stomach makes me give in. Shuffling back into the room, I take a plate of fries and smother them in ketchup. God, these are good!
‘How’s the pizza?’ I ask, through a mouthful of fried potato.
‘It’s not bad.’ He holds out the slice and I lean over to take a bite. ‘It would be a little better if I knew if my girlfriend was eating for two.’ Giving me the puppy dog eyes, he sticks out his bottom lip.
‘Oh, for the love of God! Just pass me the damn test.’ Throwing down a fistful of fries, I snatch the pregnancy test from him.
As I rip off the wrapper, I pull out the instructions confused. ‘Oliver, this is all in Spanish!’
‘So? Just pee on the goddam stick!’
Half an hour later, I am still sat on the toilet. Both taps are running on high pressure and I must have drunk over a litre of water. Cranky and with a very numb bum, I am getting rather fed up of being stuck in this bathroom.
‘Anything?’ Oliver shouts through the door, for what seems like the millionth time.
‘I’ve got stage fright! You’re putting pressure on me and my bladder doesn’t like it.’
‘Push on your bladder!’
‘No!’
‘Come on! Just try it! If you don’t, I’ll come in there and do it myself. Five, four, three, two...’
‘OK! Alright!’ Sighing with frustration, I push on my stomach.
Not being sure where exactly my bladder is, it takes a bit of random prodding before anything happens. Hurriedly reaching down for the stick, I let out a little laugh. This whole situation is insane. I can’t even believe that I am doing this. After flushing and washing, I take a peek in the little window. Just as I thought, negative.
‘Happy?’ Throwing the stick at him, I pause to see his reaction before going back to my fries. ‘Can you phone down for those bubbles now, please?’
‘It’s really negative?’ He murmurs, holding the stick under the light.
Spinning around in my seat, I’m surprised to see that he looks really upset. ‘I told you it would be. Why were you so sure it would be positive?’
‘I dunno. I guess I just put two and two together and came up with a baby. I’m sorry.’ He chucks the pee stick into the bin and lets out a big sigh.
I open my mouth to reply, but I’m not quite sure what it is he wants to hear. We have never really spoken about babies before. Apart from criticising the name choices on Jeremy Kyle, it has been a rather taboo subject for us. I once made a joke about how cute our babies would be and I’ve never seen someone look so uncomfortable. He actually turned a funny shade of green, but he swore it was the prawns. Not wanting another awkward discussion, I decide to breeze straight past it. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I give him a tight squeeze as music floats into the room from the bar below.
‘I love this song! Why don’t we get dressed and go down to the bar? What do you say?’ Planting a big kiss on his sunburnt nose, I dash to the wardrobe in search of something to wear.
‘Have you seen my blue maxi dress?’
‘Actually, I thought I could bring the bar to us.’ He flashes me his usual Hollywood smile that makes my knees go weak, but this time it doesn’t quite match his eyes. ‘Fire up that jacuzzi. I’ll go down for the fizz.’
The door is closed before I have chance to respond. Hearing his footsteps disappear down the lobby, I try to work out why he is so caught up in this baby bubble. You can’t be upset about losing something that you never had in the first place, can you? Shaking my head, I pad into the bathroom and pour an entire bottle of bubbles into the tub and turn on the taps.
Watching the bubbling water, I look around the beautiful hotel suite. Luxury furnishings, champagne on tap, the world’s biggest jacuzzi tub. Why on Earth would anyone want to swap this for sticky fingers, dirty nappies and sleepless nights? Running my hands along the marble sink, I can’t help but think that you would be crazy to want that lifestyle, crazy or drunk. And by the end of tonight, I plan to be at least one of those.
Chapter 19
Straightening out my beach towel, I take a big slug of water. The two paracetamol and hefty dose of Pepto Bismol I forced down this morning have not been much help in making me feel better. Our glass of bubbles in the jacuzzi soon turned into two and then the entire bottle. Even the mere thought of champagne is making my stomach churn right now.
Turning over to get some colour on my back, I take a moment to appreciate the peace and quiet. When he finally managed to drag himself out of bed this morning, Oliver declared today pool day. After chucking the essentials and half a pharmacy into the beach bag, we took our groggy heads down to the pool. Thankfully, Janie and Randy haven’t made it down yet, so we have had a good couple of hours to ourselves.
‘Do you feel up to a drink yet?’ Oliver asks from the pool.
Shaking my head in response, I reach under the lounger for my book.
‘How about a dip then?’ He splashes me playfully as he takes a sip of Corona.
Know
ing that he won’t give up without a fight, I kick off my Havaianas. It’s not even noon yet and the sun is already burning down on us. After twisting my hair up into a messy bun, I run across the hot tiles and hop into the shimmering blue water. Watching Oliver do a few quick lengths, I enjoy the cooling sensation on my toasty skin. As he comes up for air, I try desperately not to catch the attention of the enthusiastic animation team, who are relentlessly dragging people up for a ping-pong tournament on the beach.
‘Did she just say ping-pong?’ He spins around and smiles at me hopefully.
‘Yes she did and no, I won’t. You go. I’ll stay round the pool.’ I stick out my tongue playfully and watch him scramble up the steps before swimming off towards the bar.
The pool is starting to fill up and the gentle music that has been playing all morning has been turned up considerably. Hopping onto a bar stool, I wait for the barman to drag himself away from the busty brunette long enough to take my order.
‘Si, senorita?’ Flashing me a cheeky wink, he leans forwards with a huge smile.
Trying hard not to blush, I order the first thing that comes to mind. ‘Can I just get a sparkling water, please?’
‘Oh my God! I love your accent!’ The busty brunette to my left squeals and grabs my arm hysterically.
‘Erm, thank you’. Turning a violent shade of crimson, I bite my lip and will the barman to hurry up.
‘Are you from London? Do you know the Queen?’ Sliding over until she is almost sat in my lap, her eyes light up like fairy lights.
‘Actually I live around thirty minutes from London and no, I don’t know the Queen. Unfortunately.’ Paying for my drink, I pop a tip into the sombrero hat.
‘Oh.’ Looking a little deflated, she tilts her head to one side and chews the end of a straw thoughtfully.
