by Jodie Larson
“What does everyone like on their pizza?” Pax doesn’t even look at the menu. Something tells me he comes here often. Though it doesn’t surprise me. This will be our second date at an arcade. He did warn me he likes to play video games.
“Cheese,” Jayce loudly proclaims.
Pax looks to me for verification. “It might be better to order him a personal size if they have it. Otherwise you’ll be stuck with something simple and plain.”
He smiles as if he understands my double meaning. “Nothing wrong with simple. But if you’d like something different, I’ve got just the thing for you.”
Touché.
“I’m up for something new.”
Jayce looks between Pax and me, his little brows drawing together. “Am I still getting a cheese pizza?”
I kiss the top of his head. “Yes, buddy. You’re getting cheese.”
A tall younger guy walks up, clearly in his early twenties. “Hey, guys. Have you had a chance to look everything over?” His unruly blond hair and tanned skin tells me he doesn’t spend as much time here as I would think he does.
“Yeah, I think we’re ready to order.” Pax looks over and I wordlessly nod, letting him choose. I’m not picky with my pizza toppings. Everything tastes good when it’s baked in cheese. “We’ll get a kid’s cheese pizza and a large drunken barbecue chicken.”
Interesting choice. But I trust Pax’s judgment so I’ll go along with it.
“Anything to drink?”
Jayce chews his lip. I know what he’s gonna ask for before he opens his mouth. “Can I get a soda?”
I shake my head. “Milk would be better.”
“Chocolate?”
Pax pipes up. “A chocolate milk and two Diet Cokes.”
Todd, according to his lopsided nametag, nods his head while writing our order down. “You got it. Should take about a half hour, so feel free to enjoy the arcade. Everything’s included in the price.”
Really? A free arcade? I guess I should have looked at those pizza prices closer. We’re probably going to shell out fifty bucks a pizza to make up for the games.
Jayce starts fidgeting with his shirt. “Mama, can we play?”
“I–”
“Sure, bud. Let’s go.” Pax slides out of his side while Jayce crawls under the table to escape. Normally I’d be upset if someone undermines my decision, but I can’t be mad at Pax for wanting to do things with my son. Jayce even grabs his hand and drags him to the bright lights and sounds across the room.
I follow behind, not wanting to miss the show. They walk by all the machines first, most of them too tall for Jayce. Then they see it, sitting near the wall. A table-top Pac-Man machine. I haven’t seen one of those in years. And it’s the perfect height.
Jayce grabs one controller while Pax takes the other. You’d think he just won the lottery.
“You ready?” I ask, hovering my finger over the start button.
“Yeah!”
Okay, then. The music starts and the two of them play against each other, running from the ghosts and gobbling up as many yellow pellets as possible. At first, they agreed to share the power-ups. As time passed, it was every man—or boy—for themselves.
I practically have to drag them away from the game as I look over at the table and see our pizzas arrive. “Guys, food’s here.”
“One more game, Mom,” Pax says, fully invested in trying to beat Jayce’s score. Yeah, he’s getting his ass kicked by a five-year-old.
I bite my lip to hide my grin. “Come on, guys. Our food is gonna get cold.”
“We’re almost done, Mama.” Jayce’s tongue hangs out the side of his mouth, deep in concentration.
I think I’m back to throttling Pax.
Jayce claims victory, jumping out of his chair with his arms in the air. “I won!”
Pax leans over and offers a fist bump. “Nice job, bud.” Jayce returns the gesture and runs over to give him a hug.
“After we eat, can we play something else?” He looks between me and Pax with expectant eyes.
“If you eat most of your food, we can stay and play for a bit.”
Apparently, it’s a race back to the table because he’s sitting down and dishing himself up before Pax and I get to the restaurant section.
“He’s a good kid,” Pax says, resting his hand on the small of my back. “And for the record, I let him win.”
I look up and smirk. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Okay, I’m back to kissing him.
Pax leans down and kisses the shell of my ear. “You’re beautiful, in case I failed to say it earlier.”
I look down at my beachwear and cringe. After sitting in the wind, I can only imagine what my hair looks like. “I think you’ve been playing too many video games. It’s obviously warped your brain.”
He pulls us to a stop at the edge of the table. “Don’t do that. Don’t play off my compliment like I must be crazy. You’re beautiful and amazing and every day I look forward to learning something new about you.”
Heat creeps up my cheeks as I stare into his beautiful hazel eyes. So deep and sincere; more green than brown with little flecks of gold around the pupils.
I almost forget where we are until a small voice pulls me back to reality. “Mama, you gonna eat?”
Pax and I shake our heads and smile, laughing to ourselves.
“Yeah, buddy. We’re gonna eat.”
I take my seat next to him. I’m impressed. He’s already finished half of his personal pizza. Not sure if it’s the games or playing with Pax that’s his incentive to eat.
Grabbing the serving spatula, I scoop a slice onto my plate and stare. What in the hell is that on top?
Pax looks over and smirks. “Rum-soaked raisins.”
“On pizza?”
He nods. “Try it. Trust me, you won’t go back.”
Raisins aren’t usually my thing unless they’re chocolate-covered or in a trail mix.
I pick up my piece, sniffing it quickly before glancing up and finding Pax’s expectant expression.
Closing my eyes, I take a bite and wait, half-expecting it to come right back up. Only it doesn’t. It’s actually…not bad.
“See,” Pax says. “Trying something new doesn’t have to be scary.”
Him and his logical insights.
“This time.” Each bite, surprisingly, gets better and better. Between the tang of the barbecue sauce and the sweetness of the raisins, mixed with the faint hint of rum, my taste buds don’t know what to think. Sweet and savory? I guess that’s one way of looking at it. Truly it’s the mounds of cheese that pull away from the pizza with every bite that has me sold.
“Every time. The more things you try, the less scary they are.”
Jayce decides to join the conversation. “Yeah, Mama. You always say that.”
Shit. Pax didn’t need to know that. And he doesn’t miss it, either.
“Like minds.”
I roll my eyes and get a second piece of his weird but tasty pizza.
After Jayce finishes his entire pizza—much to my surprise—we head back out to the arcade after settling the bill. Despite my arguments, Pax pays for the whole thing.
“My suggestion, my treat.”
He slides his hand into mine as we chase after Jayce through the arcade, watching him bounce from game to game. It doesn’t bother him that he doesn’t know how to play or whether he’s heard of it. If it’s available, he wants it.
“Anything you want to do?” Pax looks over, still holding my hand with no intention of letting go. A million little butterflies take off in my stomach. Being with Pax is so natural, it doesn’t even phase me anymore when he does things like this, acting like two people who have known each other for years rather than weeks.
Looking over, I see a race car game that opened up. Way back when, I used to be good at these.
“Race you,” I say, dropping his hand and taking off like I’m one of the kids. Pax laughs behind me, as does Jay
ce, though neither are moving fast.
“I’ll help you,” Jayce says, acting like my own cheering section.
With Pax in the seat next to me, it’s hard to focus on the screen. I turn the wheel to choose my car, finally selecting one that had a good ratio of speed and acceleration.
“Ready?” the computer voice says. A digital, scantily-clad woman appears on the screen between our two cars with a flag in hand and the beach behind her.
“Go!”
I stomp on the gas pedal and weave around pedestrians and other cars, trying to catch up to Pax who flew off the starting line like a pro. Damn, I may be rusty at this.
Jayce’s directions aren’t helping as I hit the wall for the third time, dropping all the way to last place. Why can’t this be like Mario Cart? I could really use a blue tortoiseshell right about now.
Needless to say, I didn’t win. Pax leans over, cracking his knuckles as he stretches his arms out in front of him. “I thought this was going to be a challenge.”
That’s it. There’s gotta be something I can beat him at.
I look around, desperate to find something that will give me hope.
Nothing. I suck at video games, always have, always will. Instead, I opt for one of the non-video games in the entire place.
“There,” I say, pointing to the basketball hoops.
“Really?” He looks me up and down. “You don’t seem like you have the height.”
I shove at his shoulder. “It’s not like I’m going against Shaq.” He’s a basketball player, right?
Pax laughs and leads the three of us to the hoops.
“Can I try?” Jayce asks.
I hand him one of the balls. “I don’t think you’re tall enough but go ahead and try.”
To my surprise, Pax lifts him off the floor, holding him high enough to take a shot. “Now he is.”
The ball goes in with ease, leaving the two of them whooping and hollering, slapping each other’s hands, finally ending in a fist bump. He’s turning my own son against me.
“Okay, Mama, your turn.”
I dribble the ball against the carpet—which is useless because it doesn’t bounce—and raise my arms to take a shot. The ball flies over the safety net, hits the front of the rim and straight down.
Pax holds up Jayce again, repeating the same motions as before. With each shot, mine fall short while theirs sinks in.
I give up.
When the buzzer sounds, I acknowledge my defeat. “That’s not fair. There’s two of you.”
Jayce hugs my waist. “It’s okay, Mama. We’ll teach you how to play.”
Pax snorts and turns away. I smile down at my son and ruffle his hair.
“Thanks, buddy.” Pulling out my phone, I glance at the time. “It’s getting late and you need to take a bath.”
A collective whine from the two of them brings a smile to my face. “Do we have to?”
I nod. “Yes. Time to go home.”
We walk to my car, letting Jayce crawl in first so I can secure his seat belt. Pax holds out his arm, wrapping it around my waist to stop my progress around the car.
“You know, I’m kinda dirty too. Wanna take a bath with me?”
Everything clenches south of my navel at the thought of being naked with him. I’m not sure if we’re ready to take that leap yet.
“We’ve had enough firsts for today. How about we save that one for later?”
He smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the corners. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.” Leaning down, Pax kisses my lips, softly, tenderly, not taking it further than necessary in public and in case prying little eyes spot us.
“Did you drive to the beach? I suppose you need your bike.”
Pax shakes his head. “Nah, I walked. I can call an Uber.”
“Get in the car,” I say with authority. It’s not often I use my mom-voice, but it’s ridiculous that he even suggested getting a ride from someone else.
Once we’re all situated, I head down the road, following Pax’s directions to his place. Since I was passed out the first time I went there, and then too focused on the man between my legs the second time, I didn’t remember where it was. It doesn’t shock me that he’s down the street from Grounded. No wonder why he’s always there.
Pax opens Jayce’s door and gives him a high five. “See you later, bud.”
“Bye, Pax. Come play with me soon, okay?”
With a final fist bump, he blows it up as they both laugh. “You got it.”
I step out of the car and stand by the door. Pax traps me with his arms, caging me in while leaning into me.
“When can I see you again?”
I chew on my bottom lip. He frees it with his thumb, only to find it trapped again because I can’t stop fidgeting with him this close.
“My next day off is on Saturday. Weekends are better for me.”
He pushes a lock of hair away from my face, running the finger down my cheek until he’s cupping my jaw, tilting my head up to stare directly into his bright, hazel eyes.
“Then weekends it is. I want them all. Yours and Jayce’s. I had a lot of fun today. More fun than I’ve had in a while.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “But don’t think you’re off the hook during the week. I expect excellent customer service when I stop in for my coffee.”
I laugh, clinging to his shirt while resting my forehead against his shoulder. Every muscle in my body relaxes as he holds me in his arms. This feels more natural than anything else I’ve ever experienced. It pains me to walk away and leave him here.
“No fake smiles. Only the real ones for you.”
Our eyes lock and as we tilt our heads to each other, I close my eyes and let go, feeling the walls crumble around my heart. He swooped in so easily that I didn’t see the fissures until it was too late. Piece by piece falls as he claims my mouth, taking his time to know every inch of space he can find.
I told myself I wasn’t going to let someone in, especially someone who I can’t trust to be here all the time. After watching him with Jayce today, treating him like he was his own, something clicked inside. For five years I’ve guarded myself against the world and kept Jayce from knowing what it was like to have another man around. My dad is gone, Craig was non-existent. Not that I wanted Jayce and Pax to meet this soon, but I couldn’t be happier with the outcome.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” With a final kiss, Pax steps back, opening my door and shutting it when I’m fully situated. He waves to us as I pull away from the curb, getting smaller and smaller in my rearview mirror.
“Can we see him again?” Jayce asks, hope evident in his voice.
I smile and place a finger to my lips, still relishing the kiss he left. “Yeah. We’re gonna see him again.”
“The new album is amazing, guys. I think it’s going to be even bigger than the last one,” Linda, the rep, says while leaning against the table. “The final cut should be ready in a couple weeks, but now we have to talk about the upcoming schedule.”
Myles is the first to groan. “I feel like we were just out on tour.”
Don, our manager, smirks. “A year ago. We gave you time to unwind and make the album. Now it’s time to give the fans what they’ve been begging for.”
“Are we waiting until after the new album drops?” Myles’ concern is justified since Tatum still has a few months to go and I know he doesn’t want to be on the road when the baby is born.
Linda nods. “Yes, which will be in a few months. It should give you a few weeks at home with the new baby.”
Relief spreads across Myles’ face as I pat his shoulder. Breck smiles his way while Kade nods his head. I’m sure he’ll work it so he doesn’t miss Lyric’s first birthday, either by making sure we’re home or close by or bringing them on the road. It’ll be summertime, which means Adrienne will be eager to get back to K.C.
“We know you all have busy personal lives and we’re trying to accommodate you for everything. Understand, this is a busin
ess and your job, so we can’t make too many concessions.” Linda is always the downer.
The next few hours we go over tour plans and schedule. It’s not like we were inactive while making the album. We performed several shows in the area, a few venues here and there that were putting something special together and invited us to participate.
Once we’re finally able to escape, Kade and Myles head home to their wives while Breck and I jump in his car and head home.
“Do I even need to ask where you’re headed?” It’s Breck’s new mission in life to harass me about Kylie. “We hardly ever see you at home anymore.”
“You’re never home to begin with,” I retort. “How would you notice?”
“Are you going to invite her over one of these days?” He’s been hellbent on meeting her formally. I’m not sure she’s ready to meet everyone. I’m still trying to get her acclimated to me. Throwing everything at her may be too much too fast.
My phone pings. Perfect timing so I don’t have to answer his question.
“Yes,” I hiss through my teeth.
Breck glances over quickly. “What?”
I lock my phone and shove it in my pocket again. “Scored box seat tickets to the Kings game this weekend. I was thinking of taking Kylie and Jayce since they recently discovered it’s the greatest sport alive.”
“How’d you get those?”
I tap my head. “I know a guy.” Technically we all do. Don was able to pull some strings and talked to one of the Staples Center coordinators, who happens to be a good friend of his. If it was anyone other than L.A., I’d get season tickets, but I can’t. I’ll bleed blue for the rest of my life.
“Nice. They’ll like that, I’m sure. So we can expect you not to be home at all?”
Breck parks the car in the garage and we head to the elevator, hitting our floor. “She lives with her mom and sister. Not to mention Jayce. We can’t do things like have sleepovers.”
“Sure you can,” he says like it’s the most idiotic thing he’s heard. “Takes a little creativity on both your parts, but it’s doable.”
Not gonna lie. Sleeping with Kylie has been on my mind a few times. Only when I’m around her or when we’re making out or smiling at each other across the crowded coffee shop. But her time isn’t exactly her own. We steal time when we can, and I refuse to give her anything less than she deserves. I don’t want a quickie. I want something more.
