by J. M. Snyder
Cam started to speak but Emory put a finger on his lips and stopped him.
“Let me finish. When I saw you standing there in the headlights, I knew I wanted you, wanted to leave my self-imposed vow behind. Still it wasn’t that simple. I fought it. But it seemed like something beyond me was directing my actions. When I asked you to come and stay here, it was as if someone else was speaking. When I reached out and touched you, it was as if I were being controlled by some unseen force. Every time I did, or said anything that led to our ultimately being together, I asked myself, why am I doing this? But I kept on. Finally I couldn’t, or didn’t want to resist any longer.”
Cam thought back to the morning before, when they’d stood here, in Albert’s room. How he had sensed the struggle that was going on inside the man. He remembered the sob of release that had escaped Emory’s lips just before he pulled Cam to him, and kissed Cam passionately for the first time.
“I’m glad you didn’t resist.”
“I am, too,” Emory replied. He kissed Cam with the same passion he had the morning before. “I need to be inside you!”
They kissed and caressed. Then Cam slid down between Emory’s legs and took Emory’s hard cock into his mouth. Cam swallowed to the base and then retreated to the head over and over. He licked the groove between Emory’s leg and balls, then took them into his mouth and sucked.
Cam then straddled Emory. Kneeling over the man, Cam got into position, then lowered himself, Emory’s dick sliding easily inside. Cam reached down and ran his hands over Emory’s hair-covered chest. The two men looked deeply into each other’s eyes.
Emory reached out and pulled Cam down so they could kiss.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Emory said when their lips parted. “So glad you are becoming part of my life.”
Cam sat up, ran his hands over Emory’s torso once again, his eyes locked on Emory’s. Emory took hold of Cam’s hips. Cam began to rock back and forth. With each thrust Emory’s cock went deeper. With each thrust waves of pleasure shot through Cam’s body.
“Oh, baby, this is so good, so right,” Emory said as he closed his eyes, his head rolling back and forth on the pillow.
Emory took hold of Cam’s erection, slowly pumping it in rhythm with Cam’s movements.
“Oh, God! Emory!” Cam moaned as he climaxed, shooting streams of milky-white ejaculate onto Emory’s chest and abs.
Emory arched his back, achieving his deepest penetration into Cam’s body yet. He encouraged Cam’s motion. Cam sped up his undulations. Emory sat up and with a deep groan, wrapped his arms around Cam, burying his face in the man’s chest. Cam could feel Emory’s cock pulsating within him, depositing the man’s seed deep inside. When Emory was spent, he lay back, pulling Cam with him. Cam slipped out and the two rolled over to lay side by side facing each other.
Cam let out a tremulous sigh. It was time, time to let Emory know how he felt, time to let go of his reservations regarding relationships, and take another chance on love. “Emory,” he started, “this has meant a lot to me, too. I haven’t let myself feel like this about anyone for a long time. I thought I never would again. Emory, I lo—”
Emory’s phone on the bedside table rang.
“Shit! I’m sorry,” Emory said. “It might be something about the meeting tomorrow. I should take it. Hold that thought. This won’t take long.” He kissed Cam, swung his legs to sit on the side of the bed, and answered the call. “Hello,” he said, his voice sounding impatient.
Cam moved closer and lightly rubbed Emory’s back.
“Yes, this is Emory…Who…? Charlie…? Charlie West? Oh my God! Charlie!” Emory exclaimed, impatience replaced with excitement.
Emory got up from the bed, dislodging Cam’s hand, and walked to the window. Cam felt apprehension sweep through him.
“Yes, it has been a long time…Well, thank you. Yes, she was a good woman…Next weekend…? Yes, yes I can be here…Of course you can stay here with me…No, no trouble, I insist. We can catch up on old times. Look, Charlie, I’m a bit busy right now.” Emory looked back at Cam and winked. “I’ll call you and we can work out the details…Yes, it was great to hear your voice, too and it’ll be great to see you again.” Emory laughed. “Well, you’ll have to judge for yourself. I am a lot older than when we were together…No, I bet you still look great. Okay…next weekend then…Bye, Charlie.”
Cam watched Emory approach the bed.
“Wow.” Emory tossed the phone on the nightstand. “That was an old buddy of mine, Charlie West. I haven’t seen him since before Arlene and I were married. We used to hang out all the time.” Emory was clearly excited. “He’s coming up to Traverse next weekend. I invited him to stay here. It’ll be so good to see him again. We sure had loads of fun together,” he continued, repeating what Cam had already heard.
Emory climbed back in bed. “Now what were you saying before Charlie called?”
The call and Emory’s reaction to it had caught Cam off guard. He was glad the phone call from this Charlie guy had interrupted him and kept him from making a fool of himself by declaring his love for Emory too quickly. Hadn’t he promised himself he wouldn’t get involved and be hurt again? He needed time to think.
Regrouping, Cam said, “I—I just wanted to say thanks for all you’ve done for me and Magee this weekend.”
Emory gave him a strange look, then said, “Uh, okay. You’re welcome. Like I said, this weekend has meant so much to me. It made me see I shouldn’t be ashamed to have the life I had before I married back again.”
Emory took Cam into his arms. Cam laid his head on Emory’s chest. He took a deep breath as Emory kissed the top of his head. He fought to bottle up the feelings he had allowed himself to have for the man.
After some time Cam drifted off to sleep. He didn’t hear Emory whisper, “I love you, Cam.”
* * * *
Cam sat up with a start. He was breathing heavily. He looked wildly around the room, trying to orient himself. Remembering where he was, he looked over at the man sleeping peacefully next to him.
Then Cam remembered he’d had a dream. He couldn’t recall it exactly, but his old boyfriend Danny was there, calling him names, and mocking him for making an ass of himself by falling in love with Emory when the man was just like Mickey, a cheater. The phone call from Charlie proved it. Cam had tried to deny he had feelings for Emory, tried to deny the phone call had affected him. However, Danny had just laughed.
Cam lay on his back staring at the ceiling, sheet pulled up to his chin. He could feel his heart beating in his chest. The irrational thoughts, those one gets in the middle of the dark night when one is vulnerable to the voice of the boogie man that lives under the bed, assailed him.
What if he’s like Mickey, and Charlie’s just one of a long line of old friends that Emory would be happy to get reacquainted with? Didn’t he say he’d been pretty sexually active before he met Arlene?
And what about his angry outburst yesterday that seemed so much like Danny? Cam turned his head to the man sleeping next to him.
Emory seems to have feelings for me, seems to want to establish something between us. And I do have feelings for him. But he’s never told me he loves me, Cam argued with himself.
But Emory’s so excited to see this man from his past, from before he married Arlene. And, Cam reasoned sadly, there’s no commitment between us. He’s free to do what he wants with whoever he wants. I’ve done it again! Let my emotions cloud my judgement and jumped to the wrong conclusion.
The thought of morning and saying goodbye suddenly seemed overwhelming. Just then Cam felt Mr. Magee jump off the bed.
Remembering they had gone to bed early, earlier than usual for Mr. Magee, Cam thought, He never gets up unless he has to go out.
Cam crawled quietly out of bed. Careful not to wake Emory, the man and dog left the room and went downstairs. Cam slipped on his shorts and sandals, clipped on Mr. Magee’s leash, and took the dog out onto the patio. They walked down
to the dock. Mr. Magee proved that he had, indeed, needed to go out.
While Cam stood looking out over the dark water and listening to the sounds of the night creatures, he thought of when he’d met Emory only two nights before, just a few yards from where he now stood. He looked out to where the raft would be, at the silhouettes of the pontoon boat and cruiser moored to the dock, and over his shoulder at the house looming above him into the trees.
He sighed. Oh well, the sex was great. It’s ending where it started. Just two horny guys getting each other off, Cam thought, trying to convince himself the rest of it never happened.
Cam turned, trudged back up the path from the beach, and went into the house. As he and Mr. Magee started for the stairs to return to the bedroom, a feeling of uncontrollable sadness crept over him.
“Wait, Magee.”
The dog stopped and looked up at him.
“I can’t do this. I can’t say goodbye. I wouldn’t know how to,” he told the dog. “So we’re leaving tonight. Right now.”
Cam hadn’t taken his backpack up to the bedroom, so all his belongings, except his toothbrush, were in the shower in the work-out room. He quickly packed, put on a shirt, gathered Mr. Magee’s food and bowls from the kitchen, and scribbled a note to Emory.
Emory—
Thanks for a great weekend. I’m not very good at goodbyes. When Magee needed to go out, I just decided we’d take off.
Hope things work out for you…
Cam wanted to write, and Charlie, but thought better of it. He just ended it with, Hugs, Cam.
Cam hated himself for leaving like this. But he realized he’d let himself fall in love with Emory, and he would break down, creating a scene. He didn’t want that.
When Cam had all his things gathered, he and Mr. Magee made their way through the trees to Cam’s Mustang. Magee hopped into the passenger seat, Cam got behind the wheel, and started the car. He backed out of the driveway slowly, without turning on the headlights.
As they drove down the dark road, he glanced over at Mr. Magee. The hound was looking at Cam with his big, soulful eyes.
“Don’t look at me like that. It’s better this way, believe me.”
The dog did not look convinced. And the tear, which ran down Cam’s cheek, showed he wasn’t either.
* * * *
Cam arrived back in the city by early morning. His condo, which had been closed up all weekend was like an oven. He tried the air conditioning, but it still wasn’t repaired. He opened all the windows. Since there was no breeze, he was sweating by the time he finished unpacking. He took off his clothes and hopped in the shower. When that was done he and Mr. Magee stretched out on their bed. The hound had no trouble dozing off. However, despite being up early and driving for four hours, between the heat, his thoughts of Emory, and the weekend, Cam couldn’t relax enough to fall asleep.
How could he have been so stupid as to forget his vow to never again put himself in a position to be hurt? Yet, here he was, feeling the same pain he’d felt with his break-ups with Mickey and Danny. And he hadn’t even gotten to the point of actually being in a relationship with Emory, or letting Emery know he loved him. Think of what he’d feel like if they’d gone further, and Emory had broken Cam’s heart with his old friend Charlie. Okay, so it hadn’t really happened, but Cam could see it coming.
Damn you, Cameron Mitchel, and your fucking habit of falling in love at the twitch of a dick, like some sappy lovesick teenager.
After an hour of being unsuccessful at catching some rest, Cam got up, went to the living room, and switched on the television. The Tigers’ game was on. They were in the first inning and were already losing. This depressed Cam even more. So he turned on reruns of some detective show and watched without really paying attention.
Mr. Magee padded into the room and went to the door. There he lay down with his nose pointing to it, his hind legs spread frog-like—his way of letting Cam know when he wanted to go out. Cam got up, dressed, and took him out for a walk. The heat and humidity were oppressive and added to his feeling of emptiness.
“Tonight is going to be a long one,” Cam told the dog.
And it was. Cam slept fitfully, and when he did his dreams alternated between moments of ecstasy with Emory, and those in which Cam was left watching as, first Mickey, then Emory had sex with anonymous, faceless men.
* * * *
The next morning, Cam dropped Mr. Magee off at doggie day care, then went to the office. He dreaded the inevitable questions from Alan on how his weekend at the Grafton cabin went. It would be bad enough to tell him the A/C wasn’t working, but how would he explain about Emory? And what if Alan or his parents went up to the cabin at some point and talked to their neighbor? What would Emory tell them? Oh yes, I met Cam. What a jerk he was! Cam said to himself as he parked his car in the company lot.
Cam went into the building, got in the elevator, and poked his floor number. The elevator was crowded. A few of the passengers were from his department. They chatted about their weekends and the continuing heat wave. Cam was glad none of them included him in their conversations.
The doors opened. Cam walked directly to his office, not stopping for his usual morning coffee and chit chat in the staff lounge. As he approached his door, Margaret, his fellow programmer, came up to him.
“Good morning,” she said cheerfully. “How was Traverse City?”
“It was okay, nothing special,” Cam mumbled.
“That bad, huh?”
Cam shrugged.
“By the way, there’s someone waiting for you in your office.”
“Who is it?”
Margaret shook her head. “Don’t know, but he seemed kind of agitated. Said he had to clear up some unfinished business with you.”
Cam proceeded down the corridor. He couldn’t imagine who would be waiting for him. He tried to think if he’d done anything that would warrant a visit from the brass. No, he thought, if something were wrong and they wanted to see me, they’d send a memo by email first, not just show up in my office.
Reaching his door, he took a deep breath and opened it. A man in a dark suit stood behind Cam’s desk, his back to Cam, looking out of the window.
“Good morning. Is there something I can do for you?” Cam asked as he closed the door, still puzzled as to who this man was, and what he wanted to clear up.
The man slowly turned around.
“Emory!” Cam exclaimed, stunned. “What, what are you doing here?”
“You left your toothbrush. I thought you might need it.” Emory smiled and pulled the toothbrush from his inside pocket.
Cam couldn’t suppress an embarrassed smile.
Emory walked around the desk and stood in front of Cam. “Why did you leave?” he asked, his eyes searching Cam’s.
“I…I don’t really know. I guess when I heard you talking to Charlie something snapped inside me and…and…”
“Charlie?” Emory echoed. “What has Charlie got to do with your leaving in the middle of the night without a word?”
“Well, he’s coming up to be with you next weekend. You guys were buddies from before you were married, you were so excited, and I just figured…” Cam said, fumbling for an explanation for his actions.
“You just figure what? That everyone I knew before I was married was a fuck buddy?”
Cam shrugged and lowered his eyes, ashamed of his rush to judgement.
“Charlie’s straight. He and I were just friends. There was nothing between us other than that. And even if there were, after meeting you there’d be no way I’d want that from him.”
Cam felt like a complete idiot. He’d let his insecurities dictate his emotions. “Emory, I’m sorry. I feel like such a fool. You must think I’m a total wacko.”
Emory was smiling. “Yeah, I do.”
“Then why are you here?”
“Isn’t it obvious? It’s because I want to be with you.”
“Why would you want to be with someone who’s flaky
enough to do what I did?”
“I told you. I told you how much meeting you meant to me, how I hadn’t felt like this about anyone in so long. Do you think I’d say those things to someone if I wasn’t serious about you—us?”
Cam just looked at Emory, unsure of what he should say.
“This is about that guy who cheated on you isn’t it? What was his name again? Mickey?”
Cam nodded.
“Well.” Emory put his arms around Cam. “I’m not Mickey. When I make a commitment I keep it.”
Cam returned the embrace, laying his head on Emory’s shoulder. Cam remembered what Emory had said about being faithful to Arlene despite his being gay. Cam should have seen the true character of the man who now held him and trusted him. He raised his head and looked at Emory.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Say what I hoped you were going to say when the phone rang and interrupted you the other night,” Emory said, his warm smile touching Cam’s heart.
Taking a deep breath, Cam started, “Emory, I lo—”
Cam’s phone rang. They both looked at it, then laughed.
“Not this time,” Emory said.
Cam ignored the phone and went on, “Emory Cauldwell, I love you.”
Emory pulled Cam close and kissed him. “I love you, too, Cameron Mitchel.”
After another prolonged kiss, Emory said, “Now, how about I pick you and Mr. Magee up in the jet and fly you up to Traverse City for the weekend?”
“That’d be great,” Cam said with a rush of joy. “Uh, wait. What about Charlie?”
“I already called him. Told him I made other plans.”
Cam smiled. “I heard on the car radio this morning on my way to work that this heat wave is supposed to break by the end of the week.”
“Then we’ll just have to create one of our own,” Emory said as he ran his hands over Cam’s body, before kissing him again.
Heat Wave: Colorado Springs by Michael P. Thomas
This was his first time, but he knew at once it would not be his last. He had friends who couldn’t get enough of it; they’d practically begged him to try it, and when the opportunity presented itself here in the park he figured, What the hell? It was longer than he expected, and so meaty; salty and fragrant, with a tongue-prickling tang. He tried to ease into it, with little licks and nibbles, but he found he couldn’t resist the urge to gobble at it, inch by inch, until, to his surprise and delight, he had the whole thing in his mouth. His eyes rolled back in his head as he slurped and moaned. Hard as he tried to savor every splash of sticky-sweet runoff, rivulets trickled out—he got some on his shirt, he had it all over his chin, and he was pretty sure some had splattered into his hair, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. He knew it was piggish, but as soon as it was over, he craved his next. Any dude who’d never had one of these in his mouth was definitely doing it wrong. His friends were right:
