She stared at him in shock. “You can’t buy me dresses! It wouldn’t be proper.”
He sighed heavily. “Who can I buy dresses for then?” There had to be someone he was allowed to buy dresses for. He was the only man in the world who could fall in love with a girl who worked in a dress shop who was worried about propriety. Didn’t women in dress shops all want to find a way to get out of them?
She looked at him with wide eyes, considering his question. “Your sister is the only woman I can think of. It’s not terribly proper for you to pick out her dresses, but it’s not something that would be scandalous either.”
“My sister? Of course. Let’s buy Lily some dresses. Do you have her measurements?” He grasped the idea with both hands, willing to jump right in.
Constance nodded. “Yes, she was here and ordered two new dresses yesterday.”
He smiled at her, taking her hand in his. “Well, then we can order dresses for Lily. Do you have any you would like to recommend?”
She snatched her hand from his, looking over her shoulder to be certain that Mrs. Jackson wasn’t watching. “I know what she chose yesterday, so we can look at some of the other dresses that would look good in her last months, but can be taken in after the baby is born.” She flipped through the book quickly to find the right page. “What about this one?” she asked.
He stared at her face as he said, “Just beautiful.”
Her heart skipped a beat. Why was he pursuing her so relentlessly? What had she done to catch his interest this way? “What color would you like it in?”
He shrugged. “What color would you recommend?”
Constance sighed. “Green? To match her eyes? Lady Lily has beautiful eyes.”
“They were huge when she was little. She was always sneaking out of the house while her governess slept. She wasn’t supposed to, but she hated being inside, and that particular governess hated being outdoors. I almost think she pretended to nap half the time to get Lily to sneak out so she wouldn’t have to go with her.”
She laughed. “It sounds like she was a real handful.”
He nodded, enjoying her laugh. How could he convince her to spend time with him? “She was. I don’t know how Father kept finding governesses for her. She ran them all off one by one. He finally just had my aunt move in to ‘teach her to be a lady.’”
Constance smiled. “It seems to have worked out for him. She certainly acted like a lady today.”
“That’s because you didn’t check to see if she had shoes on under her dress. Anytime she entertains, she’s careful to wear a full skirt so no one can see that she’s barefoot.” Charles shook his head. “Father was mortified.”
She covered her mouth with her hand and giggled. “She sounds perfectly dreadful and wonderful all at the same time.”
Charles smiled, his mouth quirking up slightly on one side. “Yes, she was dreadful to anyone who tried to turn her into a lady, but she was also a wonderful girl. She’s become a wonderful woman. She teaches all the orphans to read and write all the while making them all feel important. She’s going to be a wonderful mother.”
Constance nodded. “She is. I’ve never met anyone quite like her.”
He caught her hand, keeping her from finishing writing up the order she was filling out for him. “I’ve never met anyone like you, either.” His eyes pled with hers. “Please let me take you to lunch today. I want to get to know you better.”
She stared down at the counter separating them, wishing he would stop asking her to do things she desperately wanted to do but knew she shouldn’t. “I just can’t. I’m sorry, my lord.”
He sighed, and left a short time later after paying for all the dresses he’d purchased.
*****
The gifts began arriving a few hours later. The single red rose was first, and she brought it to her nose and sniffed it, running it to the back and putting it on the single dresser in the small room she shared with Alice. Alice waited at the front while she did, claiming she needed to go to the necessary. She didn’t want to get into trouble, but she also didn’t want her employer to see the rose.
Next was a pair of white elbow length gloves, the kind a lady would wear for a ball. She took them out of the long white box they were inside and smiled. She would never have occasion to wear something like that, but she treasured them just the same.
By the end of the day, the counter was covered with many small gifts. A blue ribbon, a book of poems with a page marked in it that she told herself she’d read later, a bouquet of daisies, and lastly, a pretty white shawl. She did her best to hide everything off to one side, but she knew her employer was watching her.
“Do you have an admirer, Constance?” Mrs. Jackson asked in her carefully practiced voice. She’d told Constance that her accent had once been perfectly dreadful, but she’d worked very hard to make it sound like she was from a higher class than she was. Her voice still didn’t have the perfectly modulated tones of the upper class, but she preferred not to work in front of the store anyway.
Constance blushed. “I don’t know what I have.”
Mrs. Jackson looked over the gifts that had been pushed aside. “I need you to ask him to stop sending you gifts here. You may receive them in your room, but not during business hours. It was too distracting.”
Constance nodded, her head down. She didn’t want to get in trouble when she’d just begun her job. “I’ll try.”
“What do you mean you’ll try?”
Constance sighed. “I don’t know how to get a message to him.”
Mrs. Jackson shook her head. “The gifts must stop.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Once she was in her room, Constance looked at Alice. “How am I going to stop him? He’s an earl!”
Alice shrugged. “I guess we need to walk over there and tell him he’s endangering your job.”
“I don’t even know how to get to his home!” Constance felt the panic welling up inside her. She really didn’t want to have to tell Charles that his gifts were unacceptable. She couldn’t lose her job over it, though. It wasn’t like the man would marry her to take her away from her life of drudgery.
“I do. I had to go there to take a gift to Lady Lily once.”
Constance thought about it for a moment looking out the window. It would be dark before too long, and she didn’t want to be on the road at night. “How long will it take us to get there and back?”
“Oh, the walk will take about an hour, but he’ll have someone drive us back.” Alice opened the door and pulled Constance outside with her. “The weather is clear. It will be fine.”
As they walked, the two women chatted about their day. Constance was a decent seamstress, but she was needed at the front of the shop, so she knew little about what went on in the back. “All the girls were asking about the gifts and how you know Lord Charles.”
“Did you explain that I just met him last night?” Constance asked. She still couldn’t understand why the man had become so fixated on her.
“I did, and that’s when it got even worse. They wondered what could have happened during dinner at his sister’s house to make him fall in love.”
Constance sighed. “He’s not in love. He hasn’t even told me what he wants other than to have lunch with me.”
“He wants to marry you and show you what a life of leisure is. You can be his countess and sit in the parlor all day doing nothing.” Alice’s voice took on a dreamy quality as she spoke; obviously she loved the idea of a man taking her away from her life of hard work.
Constance laughed. “You’ve read one too many fairy tales, my friend. All a man like that wants from me is sexual favors.”
Alice shrugged. “If you get to live in his fine house with him and he loves you, what difference does that make?”
“I can’t live that way. I know I’m not meant to be the wife of a nobleman, especially not an earl. I need to encourage him to move on and leave me to live my life.” Constance felt her resolve strengthening as she sa
id the words. As the gifts had piled up that afternoon, she’d wondered if it would be so terrible to be a nobleman’s mistress, but she couldn’t do it. There was no stability. If he decided he was tired of her after a week or two, where would that leave her? What about children? She couldn’t bear to have children who would never be recognized by their father. No, she had to stay strong, no matter how she felt about him.
She thought about his brown eyes and her heart began to melt a little, but she hardened it again.
Alice sighed. “He’s the best looking man in the whole county, and even better, he’s the richest. How could you say no to that?”
Constance sighed. “I can’t let myself rely on a man. I need to rely on myself. If I became his mistress, and he tired of me, where would I be? What if we had children together?” She loved the idea of spending her life with Lord Charles, but not as his mistress. She couldn’t do that.
“Then you wouldn’t be alone any longer.” Alice’s voice had a wistful air to it. Obviously she’d thought a great deal about what it would be like to be the mistress to a powerful nobleman.
Constance put her hand through Alice’s arm. “I’m not alone. I have you!”
Alice laughed. “So you do! And when you’re the wife or mistress of Lord Charles, you can hire me to be your lady’s maid. I promise I’ll do your hair just the way you say and call you Lady Constance.”
Constance laughed. “I promise not to hit you with my fan if you get in my way too often, and I’ll always remember your name. I might call you ‘maid’ or ‘girl’ on occasion, but I’ll always remember that your name is really Althea.”
“Oh, so kind of you!”
They continued bantering back and forth as they walked, dreaming up more and more ludicrous things Constance could do once she was Lord Charles’s wife. They were laughing uproariously by the time they reached Marsgate Manor, and Constance found herself suddenly nervous as she stared up at the old house. “I don’t know what I’m going to say to him.”
Alice hugged her friend. “Just tell him that he’s going to get you sacked. Be clear.” She walked to the front of the house and sat down on a bench. “I’ll wait here.”
Constance looked at Alice, and wished she could ask her to stay with her while she went inside, but she knew that was cowardly. She walked to the door and raised her hand to knock, and found it wrenched open before she could. Charles stood in front of her, and gave her a surprised look. “I was just about to come to town to badger you to eat dinner with me.”
Constance sighed. “We really need to talk, my lord.”
He opened the door wider to let her inside. “Come to my study.” He led the way down the long hall, and Constance followed behind staring around the house. She had never seen such a fine home, and she felt more determined than ever to get him to leave her alone. She didn’t belong in his world, and he would never fit in with hers.
He led her to the study, but instead of taking his seat behind the desk, he sat on the couch across the room. The couch was blue with huge overstuffed cushions. He sat in the middle, so she stood looking down at him, wondering where he wanted her. “You can’t keep sending me gifts. Mrs. Jackson is threatening to sack me if it doesn’t stop.”
He patted the cushion beside him, obviously waiting for her to be seated before responding. “Sit with me, and we’ll talk.”
She sighed. “There’s no room with you taking up the middle as you are.” Constance wanted nothing more than to sit close beside him, snuggled against him, but she knew it was a mistake. Before she’d met him, Lord Charles had held a mysterious power over her. Now that she knew him? She didn’t think she’d ever be able to stay away.
He caught her hand and pulled her down beside him, his arm immediately going around her shoulders. “See? Plenty of room.” He leaned over and brushed his lips across her cheek.
She tried to jerk away from him, but he held her against him. “This isn’t proper, my lord.”
“No, it isn’t, and please, call me Charles.” He looked down into her eyes as he spoke softly to her. “I tried to do things properly. I asked if I could drive you home last night. I asked if I could take you to lunch today. I’ve tried everything proper I know to do. Now, I’m doing improper things.” His eyes held hers as he spoke, and he slowly lowered his head to brush his lips against hers.
Constance put her hands on his chest to push him away, but found she couldn’t do it. Her hands slowly wound around his neck, and she pressed closer to him. What would one kiss hurt? One kiss to store in her memory forever.
He angled his head and deepened the kiss, his tongue tracing the outline of her lips. When she gasped softly at the feel of his tongue on her, he took advantage and slipped his tongue into her mouth, slowly stroking hers.
She had never been kissed, had never dreamed that a man would kiss her this way. She clung to his shoulders, her heart pounding madly. No one had prepared her for the feelings that rushed through her. Her breasts were pressed against his hard chest, and her body tingled from head to toe.
She broke the kiss, panting softly. “I can’t let you kiss me like that again,” she whispered, surprised she’d allowed it the first time.
Charles sighed. “That’s all I’ve been able to think about since the moment I saw you in my sister’s parlor yesterday. You take my breath away, Constance. You make me think about forever, and that’s not something I’ve done in a long time.”
“It can’t be. I’m sorry. I have to work, and my employer made it very clear that you are a distraction she’s not willing to allow back in the shop. The gifts have to stop as well.” She tried to keep her voice calm and even, but it sounded odd to her ears. “I have to be able to earn a living, and there are very few places in a small village like ours that will hire a single woman.”
“So stop working. Come and live with me. Let me take care of you.” He didn’t know where the words came from. He’d never had a mistress live in his home, and he knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. He couldn’t let her go, though. The idea of her working bothered him. She should be in his home, sitting on his sofa reading books or doing embroidery. She needed to be his. He wanted her to have his child growing within her and another on her lap.
“I can’t be your mistress, Charles. It’s not in my nature. When I fall in love, I’ll be in love forever. There won’t be a stream of men through my life.” She didn’t add that she was already in love, because it wasn’t any of his concern if he wanted her to be his mistress.
“I’m asking you for your forever. Spend it with me. Live here with me. I won’t put you in a house somewhere and forget you. I want you to share my life.” How could he convince her that his feelings were real? He didn’t just want to have relations with her. He wanted love.
She sighed heavily. “I’d love to share your life, but I can’t be untrue to myself to do it.” She stood up. “Please stop sending me gifts.” What else could she say to convince him? He had to stop. She didn’t want to be alone and without a position for the third time in her life.
He stood with her. “I won’t send any more gifts…if you’ll have dinner with me tomorrow night. We won’t go anywhere public if that bothers you. We can have a quiet dinner right here.” He watched her face and knew she was about to tell him she couldn’t. “If you don’t have dinner with me, I’ll send you a puppy to the shop, and we’ll see what happens to your job then.”
“You wouldn’t!” A puppy would destroy everything. She couldn’t have an animal there. She shook her head, annoyed that he would even threaten such a thing.
Charles caught her hips with his hands and pulled her flush against him. “I’d do anything for another moment with you. I’d give everything I own for another kiss. All I’m asking for is dinner. You have to eat. Eat with me.” He knew he was being obnoxious. He just didn’t care if it meant she would be with him.
Constance closed her eyes, knowing she needed to tell him no, but afraid she would lose her job if she did. Finally
she nodded. “I’ll have dinner with you.” What choice did she really have? She could handle one evening alone with him. Right?
His mouth swept down and he kissed her again, this one obviously a victory kiss. He kissed her sweetly, his hands cupping her face as his lips made slow love to hers.
She moaned, wanting to spend the rest of the night right there in his arms. What was this power he had over her that he could make her act so wanton just by kissing her?
When he finally lifted his head, he asked, “Did you walk out here?”
She nodded. “Alice is waiting for me outside.” She brought her hand to her lips, touching them as if they were foreign objects. Never had she felt such passion, and all from one kiss? She would burn alive if he ever did more to her.
“I’ll take you home then. Wait here.” He left the room for a moment, calling to a servant to have the coach readied. “We’d better go get Alice out of the cold. Lily would never forgive me if she froze on my front porch.”
Constance smiled. “It’s not that cold out.” She was happy that he was worried about her friend. She didn’t want Alice catching a cold and missing any work. She was a good friend to her, the first she’d had in a lot of years.
Alice came into the room followed by Charles, and she was rubbing her arms. “That was a long talk!”
Constance blushed slightly. If they’d only talked, she wouldn’t feel guilty at all. Instead, they’d kissed. Would she ever be able to close her eyes without feeling what his lips felt like on hers again? “I’m sorry I left you sitting out in the cold so long. Lord Charles is going to take us home if that’s any consolation.”
Alice nodded smiling as she rushed to the fireplace, still briskly rubbing her arms. “I’m glad we don’t have to make the walk in the cold and dark.” She looked at the older woman. “I told you he’d take us home.”
Constance nodded. “Yes, you did.” She stood beside her friend, across the room from Charles.
Alice smiled at Charles. “You’re practically considered a saint at the orphanage.” She grinned at the look on Charles’s face.
Courting Constance (Fountain of Love) Page 3
