“I’m sorry. I didn’t even ask. We could have ordered something else.”
“Really, it’s fine.”
“So, you’re a vegetarian,” E. J. said, surprised at her interest in learning more about this woman who ultimately was nothing more than yet another one-night stand.
“Technically, I’m a pescatarian. I do eat fish.” Jinx reached for a croissant and split it open with her knife. She slathered it with whipped butter, then added blackberry jam from the silver serving bowl between them. Without another word, she held it out to E. J.
“Oh,” E. J. said, surprised. Her eyes met Jinx’s as their fingers brushed. “Thank you.”
“Thank you,” Jinx said. “For last night. You were amazing.” A tender smile touched her lips.
E. J. flushed with heat. How did Jinx do that? How, with one look, did she reduce E. J. to a puddle of need? She wished more and more they were still in bed. She shifted the thought. “Ah, so that’s how it’s done.”
“Exactly.” Jinx sat back in her chair. “Was that so hard?”
E. J. laughed. “Maybe I just needed it illustrated.” She took a bite of the croissant. “I take it you do this often.”
Jinx cut off a piece of egg and English muffin. “Every morning.” She took a bite. “This is delicious.”
Every morning? E. J. watched her. “I don’t mean eat breakfast,” she said with a smirk, suddenly understanding.
Jinx chewed and raised a questioning eyebrow.
“I mean go home with women from bars.” E. J. tried to sound casual. She slipped a forkful of her own meal into her mouth.
“No. Hardly ever. In fact, this is only the second time. And the other one wasn’t from a bar. It was from Tutti Frutti’s.”
“Oh, really?” E. J. chuckled. “Then how do you know all the rules?”
“I watch romantic comedies.” Jinx grinned.
E. J. eyed her. She didn’t know whether to believe her or not, but she supposed it didn’t matter. She would never see her again. She didn’t even know why she had asked. Now seemed a good time for a subject change to one with less potential for embarrassment. “So, what do you do that you’re off to this morning?”
“I’m a dog washer,” Jinx said, scooping up more eggs Benedict.
E. J. had never heard of such a thing. “You mean a dog groomer?”
“No,” Jinx said. She rested her arm on the edge of the table. “A dog washer. I wash the dogs, then turn them over to the groomers.”
“Oh. I’ve always thought the groomers did it all.” E. J. sipped her coffee. “Do you like it?”
“I do,” Jinx said, returning her attention to her food. “I love dogs, and it’s more like just playing in the water with them than a job. But then, miraculously, I get handed a paycheck every two weeks.”
E. J. chuckled. “You know what they say. Do what you love and the money will follow.”
Jinx nodded. “I’ve heard that.” She studied E. J. briefly, as though considering her next words. She glanced around the room. “You must love what you do a lot to live like this and not have to go to work on a Friday.”
E. J. thought for a moment. She didn’t exactly love what she did; she was simply good at it. “I don’t actually live this way.” She mimicked Jinx’s eye movement. “This is how I travel because my company makes my arrangements.” She did live well, but saw no reason to share that, and yet, she heard the words, “I live pretty nicely, just not quite like this,” come out of her mouth.
“What do you do?”
“I’m a regional director for a major retail chain.”
Jinx blinked. “So, what do you do?”
E. J. laughed. “I oversee our stores in northern and central California,” she said.
“Really? What stores?”
“I work for Bad Dog Athletic Apparel.”
Jinx’s eyes widened. “I love Bad Dog,” she said, her voice rising in excitement. “Although…” She became serious. “You know there’s no such thing. Right?”
“No such thing?”
“As a bad dog.”
“Ah, of course not.” E. J. laughed. Jinx’s lack of pretense was such a refreshing change from what she customarily encountered.
Jinx leaned forward in her chair. “I saw this shirt in a catalog once. I wish I had it,” she said, her features animated. “There was one of the bad dogs, of course—the German shepherd—sitting with a half-eaten package of steak on the floor in front of him and a woman standing over him with her hands on her hips. And underneath it said, ‘If only she’d gotten stuck in traffic.’” Jinx laughed, her eyes bright with amusement.
E. J. smiled. “I’ve always liked that one, too.” Mostly what she liked right now was the joy in Jinx’s face. “You didn’t buy it?”
“No. I wasn’t in a place where I could.” A shadow at the back of Jinx’s eyes rippled and shifted, then settled again. “I didn’t know there was a Bad Dog store here.”
E. J. wondered at the subtle diversion but followed it. “There isn’t. I’m here for a family matter.” She lifted her coffee cup to her lips.
“Your family’s here?” Jinx set her fork on her empty plate.
E. J. hesitated. “My son.” She held her mug in front of her. A drop of hollandaise sauce at the corner of Jinx’s mouth drew her attention. She waited for Jinx’s tongue to slip out and swipe it away. When it didn’t, she reached across the table and touched it.
As if in reward, Jinx offered her that slow smile, then sucked E. J.’s fingertip between her lips and grazed it with her teeth.
Arousal flooded E. J. She tightened her thighs. “You have to stop that,” she whispered.
“You started it.” Jinx’s tone was low.
E. J. pulled her hand back and laughed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Talk about something to take my mind off…you.”
A wicked glint flashed in Jinx’s eyes. “Your son.”
The image of Jacob filled E. J.’s mind. She straightened. “Okay, that did it.”
Jinx cleared her throat. “You’re here to see him?”
E. J. took a deep breath and collected her remaining thoughts. “Yes. He’s getting married tomorrow.”
“Really? My niece is getting married tomorrow.”
E. J. tensed. No. It wasn’t possible. Was it? What were the chances?
“Wouldn’t that be cosmic if they were marrying each other?”
Cosmic wasn’t the word E. J. would use. Karmic, maybe—ending up sharing a family with one of her one-night stands. Traumatic, certainly, since no one in her family knew she was gay. She had always been afraid of upsetting Jacob, and there had never been anyone special in her life for it to matter—except maybe Rhonda. But that was over. As much as she was afraid to, she had to ask. “What’s your niece’s name?”
“Tiffany Stanton.”
E. J. blanched and hoped her breakfast wouldn’t come back up.
CHAPTER TWO
The room was silent for a long moment. Voices in the hall approached, then faded away.
At the sight of E. J.’s pallor, Jinx reached across the table and squeezed her fingers. “Hey, are you all right?”
E. J. withdrew and rose. “Yes,” she said. “I mean…I don’t know.” She walked to the window and stared outside.
Jinx waited. She considered their conversation. What was the big deal? Why would it matter if E. J.’s son was marrying Andrea’s daughter? Was it what Jinx had said about being a dog washer? Does she not want her family to know she was slumming it? “Hey, it’s okay,” she said, twisting in her seat toward E. J. “My family’s not like me. I mean, they have money and know all the right people and…you know.”
“What?” E. J. turned to face her.
“Tiffany’s family. They’re like you.” Jinx gave an inward shudder. After what she’d experienced of E. J., she couldn’t imagine how she could be anything at all like Jinx’s sister Andrea, but E. J. seemed to live in a similar style, with her big, high-powered job.
&
nbsp; E. J. grew still. Those gently sculpted features that’d held invitation in every expression, that soft gaze that’d caressed Jinx’s skin, hardened. “I know your family has money, but even if they didn’t…I’m not a snob.”
Jinx fell silent. It was too soon for a reaction like this. The very few women she’d spent time with over the past three years hadn’t gotten this mad until they’d found out the truth about her. “I’m sorry. I just thought…” Well, no need to repeat it. What she’d thought was already out, lumbering around the expensive suite, about to take a dump on the luxuriant carpet. “I’m sorry. My mistake.”
E. J.’s demeanor eased ever so slightly.
“What are you upset about?”
E. J. hesitated. She turned back to the window. “I’ve never told my son I’m gay. No one in my family knows.”
Jinx waited for some further explanation. None came.
E. J. stared out into the morning sky.
“I don’t understand,” Jinx said finally. “What does that have to do with anything?”
E. J. swung around, her arms folded across her middle, her shoulders drawn up tight. Incredulity flashed in her eyes. “I spent the night with you last night.”
“Yeah,” Jinx said cautiously. “I remember.”
“And now we’re going to be at the same wedding, in the same extended family.”
“And you’re afraid they’ll know?”
E. J. gave an almost imperceptible single nod, seemingly satisfied Jinx had finally caught up with her.
“Oh, I get it,” Jinx said. “Well, I was planning to wear my I-slept-with-the-mother-of-the-groom T-shirt, but I’m sure I can find something else in my closet.”
E. J. stiffened. “You think this is funny?”
“I think it’s a little ridiculous. How would anyone know?” Jinx shifted in her seat. “It’s not like we’re going to walk in together arm-in-arm. We don’t have to interact at all. I won’t even look at you if you don’t want me to.”
“You don’t understand, and I don’t expect you to,” E. J. said, her voice hard. “I have a lot to lose.”
E. J. was wrong. Jinx did understand. She understood all too well being rejected for things she’d done, for who she was. Not in the same way, perhaps, but she understood completely. “I get it,” she said softly. She walked over to E. J. “Look, we may not even cross paths tomorrow. There are going to be a billion people there, I’m sure.” She took E. J.’s hands in hers. “If we see each other, we’ll pretend we’ve never met and just be two of the billion. Don’t worry. I won’t cause you any trouble.”
E. J. lifted her eyes to meet Jinx’s. Her expression held confusion, gratitude, longing, regret. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Jinx offered her a smile she didn’t mean, then kissed her forehead. “I need to find my shoes and socks and get going,” she said quietly. “Thank you again for last night.”
E. J. nodded, her conflict still apparent.
In the bedroom, Jinx sat in the armchair and finished tying a shoe. She knew not to take this personally. E. J. wasn’t rejecting her. It was more complicated than that, and the issue was E. J.’s. They’d had a good time, briefly filled a void for one another, and now it was over. Jinx hadn’t let herself entertain any other ideas. She’d had no thought of dating this dream of a woman so far out of her league, no delusion of happily ever after, not even a hope of ever seeing her again. Jinx wasn’t looking for anything like that, regardless of how amazing E. J. might be. She had her hands full piecing a life together and learning how to live on her own. Besides, she had no interest in being someone’s shameful little secret. She’d had enough of that growing up. If all that was true, though, why did she feel such a heavy weight of disappointment settling in her stomach like an anchor at the bottom of the ocean?
“Jinx,” E. J. said softly from the doorway.
Jinx looked up.
“I’m sorry for my reaction. And I’m so sorry if I hurt your feelings.”
Jinx lifted one shoulder. “You didn’t,” she said without another thought. “It’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t. I don’t want to leave things like this.” E. J. crossed the room and knelt in front of her. “You are…Last night was…” E. J. searched Jinx’s eyes as though expecting to find the ends of her sentences there. She sighed. “I’ll never forget you.”
Jinx slipped her fingers into E. J.’s hair and let herself feel the sincerity of the words. She smiled. “Hey, there might be hope for you yet.”
E. J. laughed and pressed her cheek into Jinx’s palm. “Will you be at the rehearsal dinner tonight?”
Jinx brushed E. J.’s temple with her thumb. “Oh, no. I’m shocked I was even invited to the wedding.” The words were out before she could stop them.
E. J. looked up in evident surprise. “Why is that?”
Jinx paused. She really didn’t want to tell her the truth—at least not all of it—but she didn’t want to lie to her either. With E. J.’s son marrying into the Stanton family, Jinx figured she’d hear about all the bodies buried in the backyard before too long anyway, at least whatever version of the story Jinx’s sister chose to share. “Let’s just say I’m sort of the black sheep of the family. I don’t get to come to everything.” She didn’t bother to say that other than Andrea slamming the door in her face three years earlier, she hadn’t seen any of the family in over twenty-five years. She’d never even met Tiffany and had no idea why she’d been invited to the wedding. When she’d sent her RSVP and hadn’t received a phone call saying it’d been a mistake, she’d hoped it was an olive branch of sorts. I’ll know tomorrow.
E. J. rubbed her palm over Jinx’s thigh. “I can see that. You don’t seem anything like them.”
Jinx leaned down and kissed E. J. on the lips. “Thank you. I take that as such a compliment.”
“I understand. Andrea’s a little scary, isn’t she?”
“You have no idea. If I didn’t actually know where she came from, I’d swear she burst out of someone’s chest.” Andrea hadn’t always been that way, though.
E. J. smiled. “That’s why you weren’t at the engagement party,” she said, her tone thoughtful. “And why I’ve never met you before?”
Jinx nodded. “That’s why,” she said. “Baaaaaa.”
The spark returned to E. J.’s eyes as she laughed.
At least now Jinx felt like she could leave without having ruined everything, though leaving was the last thing she wanted to do. “I really do need to go, baby,” she said gently.
In the space of a flinch, E. J.’s gaze went soft, then just as quickly, returned to normal. “I know,” she whispered.
At the front door of the suite, E. J. caught Jinx’s hand as she reached for the knob.
Jinx turned to her.
E. J. gave her a long look as though memorizing her. Then she kissed her.
As their lips moved against one another’s, Jinx listened to the soft music playing in the background. She wanted to remember it. “What’s the name of this song?” she asked when E. J. eased back.
E. J. tilted her head and listened. “‘Clair de lune.’”
Jinx nodded.
“One more kiss?” E. J. said, gazing up at her. “Like the one you gave me right here last night?”
Jinx grinned, remembering when she’d knocked on the door and waited for E. J. to answer. Her heart had been pounding. She couldn’t believe she’d accepted E. J.’s invitation to join her back at her hotel. She hadn’t been with a woman in a long time, not since Val. She hadn’t wanted to be, but somewhere between that first look in the bar and E. J.’s whispered enticement several hours later, she’d decided maybe it was time.
She took E. J. in her arms, just like the night before, and covered her mouth with her own. The smoldering embers of the morning ignited instantly.
E. J.’s lips parted, and she took Jinx in, fully and completely, just like the night before.
They kissed long and slow and deliberately—just like
the night before—but this time, Jinx knew she had to leave. This time, she knew what they’d shared was over rather than just beginning. Suddenly, she felt a deep ache of loneliness she hadn’t known since Val’s death. This time, though, she knew it wasn’t from the loss of Val. It was from the loss of something—someone—she’d never even had.
CHAPTER THREE
Jinx stood in the long column of wedding guests waiting patiently to move through the receiving line. The ceremony had been beautiful, the bride radiant, the mother of the groom irresistible—but Jinx had kept her promise. She’d even averted her eyes when E. J. was escorted down the aisle on the arm of an usher to her seat in the front row. Another woman and a second usher had gone next, closely followed by a man Jinx presumed was the father of the groom—E. J.’s ex-husband—and then came Andrea. Jinx had turned completely away as Andrea had passed, afraid that her mere acknowledgement of her sister might summon the hungry harpy within.
Nerves battled emotions, and Jinx felt faint at the invasion of both. Her invitation didn’t make sense. In fact, it’d made so little sense she’d almost decided not to attend. Andrea had shown absolutely no interest in having anything to do with her since she’d been home—none, zip, zilch, nada—and Tiffany didn’t even know her. Someone had invited her, though, and it was a foot in the door. She just hoped that door didn’t slam, leaving her maimed.
As the wedding day had approached, in addition to her usual nightmares, Jinx had several new ones in which Andrea flew at her, screaming and demanding her off the premises. She knew it was crazy. That would never happen, at least not in front of all the guests, because Andrea would never make such a public scene. Her mother, Jinx’s stepmother, and the queen of the high-society circle in her day, Nora Tanner, taught her daughter well in all matters of etiquette.
Jinx, on the other hand, had failed etiquette, along with so many other things, but she knew it was her mere existence that Nora found the most offensive. She felt a little queasy at the thought of Nora and wondered if she was the real cause of her nerves. Although no longer alive, her presence still lingered around the house and grounds where she’d reigned for so many years. Jinx could feel her—like the crackle in the air after a lightning storm.
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