by Gail Bowen
Within seconds I could hear Ian’s voice coming from the player. He was urging his lover on, telling her where to touch, how to suck, when to lick. Finally, there was the wordless crescendo that I knew so well; the abrupt cry of ecstasy and then, after a pause, his voice still hoarse with passion. “Your turn now. I’ve been wanting to bury my face between your legs all day.”
It was too much. I reached to grab the cassette player from Slater. Somehow I knocked it out of his hands, and it clattered to the floor where crazily, it kept on playing. I bent to pick it up, but Slater was too fast for me. He hit pause. “You need to hear the rest of this. Ian’s mistress is very appreciative.” Slater frowned. “You don’t look well at all, Joanne. I was going to save this for a surprise, but I think you’ve had enough surprises. The voice you’re about to hear is your best friend Jill Oziowy’s.”
My knees had turned to water. There was a small table covered with campaign literature next to me. I grabbed the edge of it to steady myself.
Slater hit Play and Jill’s voice was in the room. She was whimpering, urging Ian to tongue her more, suck her clitoris, eat her. The sounds of Jill’s bliss seemed to go on forever, but finally she sobbed, and it was over. “Oh, God, I never knew it could be this good. I love you so much.”
My stomach lurched. “What are you planning to do with this?” I said finally.
“That depends on you,” Slater said.
“What are my options?”
“If Zack withdraws from the race, your children will never hear this – incidentally, this is not the only tape. There are dozens more. Your husband and your best friend were insatiable. When it came to the smorgasbord of sexual delights, they were gluttons.” Slater’s chuckle was lascivious. “Joanne, do you really want your children to hear their father having anal sex with Jill Oziowy?”
“None of this makes sense,” I said. Out of nowhere images of Jill at Ian’s funeral flashed into my consciousness. I had been numb, but Jill had been wracked with grief. Several times I had reached out to console her.
Slater Doyle stared at me in silence, his grey eyes blinking against the harsh overhead light. I knew he was telling the truth. “I’m not going to ask Zack to withdraw because Ian and Jill fell into bed together a few times,” I said.
“The affair lasted fifteen years, Joanne,” Slater said. His voice was cool. “All the dirty details are in the tapes. There are boxes of them filed by date. Valerie Smythe is very proud of her professionalism.”
“She’s proud of betraying a man who trusted her?”
The look Slater gave me was pitying. “Valerie wasn’t the only one in that office who betrayed a trust, Joanne. The first time Valerie Smythe covered for Ian was when you were pregnant with Mieka. Until your late husband died, keeping his affair with Jill secret was part of Valerie’s job.”
“So she knew exactly when Ian and Jill would be together.”
“Not only that, she acquired the skills she needed to tape their encounters.” Slater stepped away from the door. “You’ll want to talk to Zack about this, but I’ll need your decision by midnight.”
I felt as if I’d been flayed alive, but I managed to keep my voice firm. “This isn’t Zack’s decision to make,” I said. “It’s mine, and I’m turning you down. The negotiations are over, Slater. It’s time for you to leave.” My heart was pounding. I moved close to him, so close our bodies were almost touching. “How can you live with yourself?” I said. “How can you look into your daughter’s eyes knowing that some day she’ll realize that you’re scum?”
Slater’s laugh was derisive. “Sticks and stones, Joanne. Sticks and stones. You have until midnight to reconsider. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll give Mieka the tapes when she opens UpSlideDown tomorrow morning. By then, Ian Kilbourn’s hijinks will be all over the Internet.”
Zack and I had agreed to meet outside the Pile O’ Bones at 4:30 p.m. When I arrived, Zack was there waiting. The kiss I gave him was long and hard.
“Whoa,” he said. “What did I do to deserve that?”
“A thousand things,” I said, “starting with the fact that you’re not an asshole.”
Zack chuckled. “I’m assuming there’s a story behind that.”
“There is,” I said. “But it’s a story for later.”
The rally was a triumph. The late-afternoon sun was warm, the crowd was large, there were enough hot dogs for everybody to have seconds, and the bands kept everyone in a good mood until the speeches started. As he introduced Zack, Brock held Lexi in his arms. Brock’s red SHREVE T-shirt was XXXL and Lexi’s was the smallest we had. Her nine-month-old smile was irresistible. The huge ex-Roughrider and the beautiful baby presented a great photo op and the smartphones were busy. The brief speeches by the candidates for city council were passionate and inspiring, and the audience, an overflow crowd, many of whom were also wearing SHREVE T-shirts, was wildly enthusiastic.
By the time Zack came onstage, the audience was primed. They laughed at every witticism and applauded every applause line. Zack had discovered that the shtick with which he’d ended his speech at the opening of Racette-Hunter was a crowd-pleaser. That afternoon at the Pile O’ Bones, he again showed off his all-terrain wheelchair and used its features to explain how his policies as mayor would give all of Regina’s citizens a chance to realize their potential. He finished with his now familiar line. “My wheelchair is made by a company called Renegade. Their motto is ‘Blaze your own trail.’ Every woman, man, and child in this city has the right to blaze his or her own trail.”
While the crowd roared, all of our children and grandchildren and I joined Zack onstage. When I looked at their faces, reality hit me like a slap. I would have crawled through broken glass to protect them, but I was about to deliver news that would turn their lives upside down. Madeleine and Lena, standing hand-in-hand, bubbling with delight at the applause, made a bobbing bow to the crowd. Mieka grinned at me. “They’re revelling in this,” she said. “Actually so am I.”
I put my arm around her shoulder and squeezed. Mieka had loved Ian and she adored Jill. She would be the one most wounded by the news, and there was nothing I could do to cushion the blow. When the birthday cake was brought in, the burning candles swam in front of my eyes, and my breath caught in my throat. People began singing “Happy Birthday.” I moved towards the cake, and Taylor, Madeleine, and Lena helped me blow out the candles. Finally – mercifully – it was over.
As he rolled down the ramp off the stage, Zack was one happy guy. “Time to shake a few hundred hands, Ms. Shreve,” he said.
“Why don’t you and Brock take Taylor and the granddaughters and get started. There’s something I have to talk to Mieka and the boys about.” Zack gave me a questioning look but just nodded and turned his chair around.
There was a green room backstage at the Pile O’ Bones. I’d shepherded many nervous politicians into it so they could have a final run-through of a speech before facing an audience. That afternoon, I led my children there and closed the door behind us. The faces of all three were glowing. They were happy because Zack’s rally was a success, because I was having a good birthday and because, for the moment at least, it seemed that all was for the best in this best of all possible worlds.
I had no idea how I would find the words to tell them about Ian and Jill, but it was either me or Slater Doyle, so I simply laid out the facts as I knew them.
As I explained Ian’s long-term involvement with Jill Oziowy, I kept my eyes on my children’s faces. The glow faded quickly, replaced first by disbelief and then, in the case of Peter and Angus, by anger and disgust. Mieka began to cry.
“All those times he couldn’t be with us, he was with Jill,” Angus said.
“We don’t know that,” Mieka said, tears streaming. “Dad had a family. Why would he get involved with Jill?”
Peter was the gentlest of my children, but his tone was withering. “For Christ’s sake, Mieka, grow up. He did it because he was horny and Jill was willing t
o put out.”
Mieka whirled around to confront me. “Why did you have to tell us now?”
“Because Slater Doyle came to me an hour ago and gave me a choice. If Zack agreed to get out of the race, you and your brothers would never have to learn about your father and Jill. If Zack refused, Slater was going to tell you himself. Valerie Smythe, your father’s secretary, made audio tapes of Ian and Jill having sex. I’ve heard one of them, Mieka. Listening to it was like having a knife plunged into my back. Apparently, there are many more, but I couldn’t give in to blackmail. For the record, Zack didn’t make the decision. I did. Zack still doesn’t know about any of this.”
Angus had tears in his eyes now too. He put his arms around me. “You made the right choice,” he said, and his voice cracked with emotion.
“I agree,” Peter said. His face was stony, but I could see the pulse in his neck. “You had no alternative. You couldn’t let Ridgeway’s people blackmail us. Zack’s one of the good guys.”
Mieka was chewing her lower lip – always a sign of distress. “And Dad isn’t? He’s our father. How can you two just turn against him?”
Peter reached into his jeans pocket, fished out a tissue, and handed it to his sister. “We’re not turning against him, Mieka. He turned against us. Repeatedly – for fifteen fucking years.”
Someone knocked loudly on the door, no doubt eager to use the bathroom off the green room.
“We should get out of here,” I said. “Why don’t you three go home and try to absorb this. I know what you’re going through. But I can’t leave Zack alone. The media would have questions and that’s not fair to him.”
“I’ll stay with you and Zack, Mum,” Peter said quietly.
Angus brushed back his unruly forelock. “Nothing personal, Mieka. But I’m going to stay too.”
Mieka mopped her eyes and blew her nose. “I’m going to take the girls home. Tell Zack I’m sorry. I just can’t play the game right now.”
The crowd in the hall had not thinned out. There were lineups at the table selling SHREVE T-shirts and at the tables manned by volunteers signing up other volunteers to knock on doors, put up signs, and make sure our voters got to the polls on E-Day. Brock came over when he saw us. “Everything okay?” he asked.
“Everything’s fine,” I said. “Pete and Angus and I thought we’d help Zack with the handshaking.”
Brock smiled at Mieka. “Had enough fun, huh?”
“Something like that,” she said. “Are the girls with Zack?’
“With Zack, Taylor, Margot, and Lexi,” Brock said. “They’re outside, and the three young ladies are the centre of attention. They seem to be handling it well. Now if you’ll excuse me, there are a couple of people here I should talk to.”
We reached the door just as Jill was coming in. When she spotted us, she grinned. “I know I’m late, but I was starving, so I got in the food line and listened to the cheering on the loudspeakers.” She held out her hot dog. “Worth waiting for, huh?”
Mieka and her brothers walked past Jill as if she was invisible. Jill’s face fell. “Has something happened?”
“Yes. The kids just found out about you and Ian.”
Jill looked confused for a moment, and then the colour drained from her face. “Oh, my God. How did that happen … ?” Her sentence trailed off. The full horror of the situation was beginning to hit her. “Jo, we have to talk.
“I agree,” I said. “But I don’t want to talk here.” Still holding her hot dog, Jill followed as I went up the stairs to the stage and back to the green room.
After she closed the door behind her, Jill looked at me beseechingly. “Jo, you have to understand –”
“Shut up,” I said. “There’s nothing to understand. I may be naive, but I get this. An hour ago I listened while Slater Doyle played an audio tape Valerie Smythe made of you fellating Ian and him returning the favour. The quality of the recording was excellent. I felt as if I was in the room with you. And the clip I heard was just a sample. Slater told me the affair began before Mieka was born and was still going on when Ian died.”
Jill’s entire body was shaking. It was as if she’d been suddenly plunged into ice water. “Jo, please –”
“Shut up,” I said. “Because there’s more. Slater told me that if I didn’t get Zack to withdraw from the race, he’d give the tapes to my children. I had no choice. I called Mieka, Peter, and Angus in here and told them that the father they loved was an adulterer and that all the times he was too busy to be with his family he was fucking their Auntie Jill.”
“Give me a chance to make things right,” she said. “I’ll do anything.”
“You’ve done enough,” I said. “We’re finished, Jill. Get your things out of Mieka’s house. Then go away, and stay away.”
I opened the door to the hall, but Jill didn’t move. Her face was ashen; her eyes were dead. She was desolate – the sole survivor of a catastrophe that had claimed the world as she knew it. For a moment, my heart went out to her. But the moment didn’t last. “Better eat your hot dog,” I said. “It’s getting cold.”
When I came back into the hall, Zack was surrounded by people. Among them was Howard Dowhanuik. When he spotted me, he came over. “Where the hell have you been?” he said. “I saw you taking Jill off somewhere. You looked like a thundercloud and she looked terrified.” He craned his neck to peer behind me. “Where is Jill anyway?”
I ignored the question. “Let’s go outside and find a place where we can talk.”
The sun was warm and the bands were good. It seemed there were people everywhere, but finally we found a spot at the back of the building.
I didn’t waste time on preamble. “Did you know Jill and Ian were having an affair?”
Howard winced, but he didn’t answer.
“It’s a simple question,” I said. “Did you know that Ian was having sex with Jill?”
Howard took a deep breath. “I knew,” he said.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Howard ran his hand over his head “There didn’t seem to be any point. As soon as I found out about the affair, I talked to Ian. Over the years I must have asked him to break it off with Jill a hundred times. I told Ian he had a great wife and family and he was making the party vulnerable.”
“But it didn’t matter to him,” I said.
“It mattered,” Howard said.
“Then why didn’t he end the relationship?”
Howard looked away. “Jesus, Jo, don’t make me do this.”
“I deserve to know,” I said.
Howard’s old hawk’s face was carved with pain. “Yeah, you do,” he said. “Ian said he couldn’t walk away from Jill because he was in love with her. I’m sorry, Jo.”
“So am I,” I said. “But I needed to hear the words.”
“How did you find out?”
“Slater Doyle told me,” I said. “Remember all those speeches you and Ian made about letting the province’s moral compass be our guide to governing? How could you even say the words?” Howard reached out to console me. I shook him off. “Don’t,” I said. “I’m hanging on by a thread, and I have a campaign to run. Just leave me alone. I need to be inside with Zack.”
There was still a cluster of supporters around Zack, and when I joined him, Angus, Peter, and Taylor came over and we moved through the crowd as a family, smiling, shaking hands, urging people to sign up. It was almost seven-thirty when we watched the last vehicles leave the parking lot. As a half-ton with a load of new SHREVE lawn signs turned onto the street, Zack was clearly gratified. “Everything just clicked.” He hooked his arm around my legs. “And things clicked because you made them click,” he said. “Why don’t we take Taylor and the boys somewhere for a burger?”
“You go ahead,” I said. “My shoulder’s bothering me and I’m tired. I think I’ll just go home.”
Zack’s face filled with concern. “I’m coming with you. Your turn to get the attention. Time for serious pampering.”
I waited until Taylor was tucked in reading and Zack and I were showered and in bed before I told him about my encounter with Slater Doyle. Zack listened without comment. When I told him that I’d turned down Slater’s deal and that I’d already spoken to Mieka, Peter, and Angus, he drew me close. “You shouldn’t have had to carry all this alone,” he said.
“There was nothing you could do,” I said. “And the rally was important – you didn’t need distractions.”
“Are you planning to talk to Jill?”
“I’ve already talked to her,” I said. “The kids and I ran into her just after I’d finished telling them the news. When they saw her, they just kept on walking. I told Jill to get her stuff out of Mieka’s house, go away, and stay away.”
Zack kissed my hair. “So that’s that,” he said.
“Not quite,” I said. “By the time I saw Howard I’d pretty much exhausted my supply of righteous indignation. I asked Howard if he knew why Ian had risked everything to keep seeing Jill.”
“And … ?”
My eyes stung with tears but I was determined not to cry. I took a breath and plunged ahead. “Howard said that Ian told him he couldn’t give up Jill because he was in love with her.”
For a few minutes we lay side-by-side, silent, absorbed in our own thoughts.
“I’d do anything for you,” Zack said finally. “But I have no idea where to start with this.”
“Just hold me,” I said. I was almost asleep when Zack murmured, “You do know that if you’d asked me to withdraw from the race, I would have.”
