by Jayne Hawke
We stepped out into the warm night and I breathed deep. The scents of the forest around us filled my nostrils and made me sigh contentedly. A cool breeze brushed over my skin and I closed my eyes, allowing the sweet agony of the shift to take me.
2
AS PART OF MY TRAINING to gain more control and keep what I was hidden from hunters and the like, I hadn’t shifted in two whole weeks. There aren’t words to express the sheer bliss I felt as I breathed in deep and felt the cool earth beneath my paws. The rich fresh scents of the forest surrounded me, filling me with a happiness like no other. The forest was an explosion of greenery with a full canopy stretching far overhead. The undergrowth was all wearing its finery of vivid green leaves and bright yellow and white flowers.
Cole stood stock still and watched me as I restrained myself from running past him into the forest. I was dying to embrace the exhilaration that came with running without a care in the world. I needed to feel the warm air rushing through my fur and the earth beneath my paws as I pushed myself harder, racing through the forest. Cole’s ears were pricked with interest as he just looked at me. There was no challenge in his golden eyes, he was simply waiting. A growl formed deep within my throat. He would usually have dipped into a play bow and begun the run by now.
Finally he began to lower his chest towards the ground and that was all I needed. I exploded forward, my claws digging into the dirt giving me more traction as I took off into the woods. The mature trees formed a sanctuary that I enjoyed like no other. Cole’s footsteps were almost silent but I caught his scent not far behind me. The sharp pain of teeth digging into skin came from the tip of my tail. I glanced back over my shoulder to see the larger dark wolf twist and shoot off to the left between two broad old trees with chocolate brown bark.
I almost lost my balance as I dug my paws in and turned as fast as I could to run after him. On we continued, chasing each other around the forest. All of the tension from worrying where Jake had vanished to this time, and the concern over the Blackthornes being so close at hand all slipped away. There was nothing but the pure unadulterated joy of running.
THE MOON WAS PAST ITS peak when we came to a stop at the large flat rock overlooking the rest of the state. I flopped down onto the cool stone, ready for a moment of quiet contemplation. The adrenaline from the run was still flooding my system and I was riding a high like no other. Nothing mattered. Everything was going to work out perfectly. I lay down on my side and stretched, enjoying the slight chill from the stone. Cole settled himself down next to me, his side brushing against my back.
“We haven’t caught the Blackthornes' scent in almost three weeks,” he said into my mind.
I huffed and closed my eyes. Why did he have to ruin a perfect moment of calm with worries over the hunters?
“Sounds like they’re keeping out of our territory,” I returned.
I felt his weight shift, his hip pressed against mine where he twisted to look at me. The contact with him formed a little pool of warmth and happiness. The pack bond between us was growing stronger and I was increasingly ok with that. Sure, he glared at me most of the time and was insufferable to try and talk to, but he was also pack.
“The Blackthornes do not listen to garou,” he pressed.
He wasn’t going to let this go. My blissful high was dissipating, leaving a grumpy tension in its wake. I’d been looking forward to a night off all week. The mercenary gig I’d picked up had been stressful to say the least. I was proving myself to the community and that meant taking on the more difficult jobs. That week I’d tracked down a leanan sidhe. They weren’t supposed to come onto the earth plane at all. Leanan sidhe fed off men, usually creative men. They were all stunningly beautiful and men flocked to them like pigeons to seed. The men rarely lasted more than a month in the leanan sidhe’s company as she drank their very life essence leaving nothing behind but a husk.
The male mercenaries weren’t willing to even think about going after her, so I stepped up. She put up a good fight and tried to tear my throat out. Luckily garou heal quickly. The fae wanted her alive so they could punish her themselves but I couldn’t transport her safely. I tried. The broken windows in my Mustang are evidence of that. She had to be put down.
I opened my eyes and looked up at Cole. The instinct to press my cheek to his and soothe him came out of nowhere. I was beginning to move my head when I caught myself. Something flickered in Cole’s eyes and I reminded myself that I wasn’t going to lose the little game we were playing.
“And you think they’re up to something nefarious,” I said drily.
“Yes,” Cole said back.
“Fantastic,” I replied sarcastically as I stood up.
The calm happiness was well and truly gone. I was ready to run home and pull out a pint of peanut butter and cookie ice cream to eat while I looked for my next job. The Blackthornes were very dangerous but, as far as I’d heard, they’d been quiet. I was perfectly happy for it to stay that way.
3
I got home not long before dawn. Cole and I hadn’t really spoken since he’d ruined the peace and relaxation. Tension ran through him, making his gait stiffer and his eyes colder. I found myself torn between wanting to snap at him for looking for trouble where there was none and the desire to be close to him and offer comfort. We ended up in an awkward silence where neither of us really looked at the other.
Jake was in bed when I stepped out of the bathroom. He must have snuck in while I was in the shower. The side effects of shifting were becoming less brutal. I only ate half a pack of bacon (cooked, I’m not a monster) before the deep hunger was sated. The money I’d been earning from doing real merc jobs meant that I’d been able to buy the groceries for both of us for a couple of weeks. Jake hadn’t said anything about the fact the fridge was filled with meats and the cupboards with Pop-Tarts. He hadn’t really said much of anything.
I wasn’t quite ready to sleep so I grabbed a Pop-Tart and curled up on the sofa looking through the Grim. The garou had finally allowed me into the garou section of the site after word spread that I’d killed the rogue. They acted as though I’d always been one of them and was completely welcome when I started looking around in there. The fakeness of it all left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I didn’t say anything.
There wasn’t much of anything in the garou area. Nothing of interest, anyway. There were a few jibes between packs about which one was stronger and had the better territory. Everything seemed peaceful. I glanced over at the section for the Loxwood pack but didn’t click through. There were only two of us, so there wasn’t anything in there.
I chewed on my bottom lip as I looked at the link for the merc job board. I should have been crawling into bed, but it felt good to be picking up jobs and having money. The respect I was gaining felt really good, too. I’d always hidden in the shadows when I was a human. I kept my head down, and no one really noticed me. Now I was a garou, I was making that change. Now I was the turned who took down Valentine Devaux. It had turned out that Valentin was a pretty big deal. He was close on two centuries old and he had a track record of death, theft, and destruction.
The council had had a couple of people investigating him, and they knew how dangerous he was. They didn’t bother to tell me, as they wanted to see what the little turned could do. I smiled to myself feeling pride swell up. The hole in my chest was still there. A small cold darkness that I didn’t think I’d ever fill. I did my best to hide from it behind pride and ego at my accomplishments, but it was a constant presence in the back of my mind. Along with the cold stare from Valentine’s empty eyes after I’d killed him.
4
The rich scents of expensive maple syrup and perfectly made pancakes filled my room and woke me up with a smile on my face. The smile faded as I really woke up and realised that that scent meant that Jake wanted something. He kept the really good maple syrup hidden unless he was making a special breakfast. It wasn’t my birthday.
Groaning, I rubbed my eyes and stretc
hed as I convinced myself to leave the perfectly warm cocoon that was my bed. Everything was exactly as it needed to be. Maybe I could go back to sleep for another half an hour. I closed my eyes.
“Rosalyn! Pancakes are ready,” Jake called.
I huffed.
He must have known I was awake thanks to his magic. It was linked to life essence. He hadn’t given me many details, but I suspected he could feel that mine was livelier or something. Pulling on the closest t-shirt and pair of shorts, I grumbled to myself as I shuffled into the kitchen and eyed the pancakes. The fluffy disks were exactly as I liked them. Drowned in maple syrup.
I took my usual seat at the table and didn’t look at Jake as I picked up my fork and took the first bite. The pancakes were light, vanilla-y, and almost melted on my tongue. No one made pancakes quite as well as Jake did. I was an ex-apprentice baker and I still couldn’t do them quite how he did. I wondered if he added some fae magic in there. It was cheating, but I wasn’t going to complain.
Jake was shirtless. A thin sheen of sweat added a soft glow to his skin. I ignored it, instead closing my eyes and savoring the mixture of syrup and pancake on my tongue.
“You don’t have plans this week, right?” Jake asked around a bite of pancake.
I opened one eye and looked at him.
“Maybe.”
He raised an eyebrow at me.
“Come on, Rosalyn. I made you pancakes, at least hear me out.”
I sighed and took a drink of the fresh-squeezed orange juice. He really was pulling out all of the stops. Although he’d have had a better chance if he’d have gone with the expensive coffee.
“I’m listening,” I said grudgingly.
“I was given a merc job. It’s a two-person job.”
I took an extra-large bite of pancake and waited for him to continue. He wouldn’t be going to this much effort if it was a quick and simple job.
“You’re the only person I really trust.”
It didn’t feel that way anymore. He was often off doing who knew what. I’d stopped asking where he went or why. We’d been inseparable. Best friends. I’d been in love with him, and part of me still was.
“Go on,” I said.
“A small pack of coyote shifters have been causing trouble.”
“What type of trouble?”
My hackles rose. My wolf side didn’t approve of coyote shifters. They were troublemakers. Dangerous scrappy little ratbags.
“A couple of murders, some theft.”
I slowly placed my fork down. He’d said it with a shrug of his shoulders and a fake nonchalance. If mercs were being called in, then it was more than a single accidental murder.
“Alright, fine. They wiped out all of the other local shifters and they’ve started on humans,” Jake said, standing.
“Pay’s good?” I said.
“Very,” Jake said as he picked up my now empty plate.
“You have a location?”
He relaxed a little.
“Four hours from here; we’ll have to get a motel. We should only be away for one night.”
I sighed and stood. I’d have to let Cole know I was leaving our territory. The fact I was his shadow meant that he could put his foot down and stop me from leaving. He had told me that he’d be able to use the bond to stop me, but that wasn’t entirely true. I’d done some digging on the guardian deal, and it turned out that my innate magic meant that I couldn’t be bound fully by the shadow bond. Still, I’d let him know to try and keep the peace between us. He was pack, after all.
5
COLE PICKED UP ON THE third ring. He’d never once picked up on the first. I wondered if it was some weird power play.
“Rosalyn,” he said, not hiding the tired frustration in his tone.
“You’re always so happy to hear from me,” I said in a sugary tone.
He sighed.
“I’m heading out of the territory for a couple of days.”
I could feel his glare down the phone.
“Jake’s asked me to accompany him on a merc job.”
He sighed.
“If I say no, you’ll go anyway,” he said flatly.
“You know me so well,” I said with a grin on my face.
He sighed again. I could see him squeezing the bridge of his nose in my mind’s eye.
“You will text me exactly where you’re going. You’ll text me when you get there, when you finish the job, and when you get back.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I’m a big girl, Cole.”
“You’re also my shadow,” he growled.
“Fine. I’ll text you.”
“If you don’t, I’ll hunt you down.”
I shook my head at the melodramatic alpha.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
He growled before he hung up.
Jake looked at me expectantly when I stepped back out into the hallway.
“Can I get the address we’re heading to?” I asked.
He relaxed and almost smiled.
“Sure, give me a minute. I want to leave soon. Are you packed?”
I headed back into my room and threw a fresh set of jeans and shirt into my backpack along with two pairs of socks; you always needed an extra pair of socks, and some spare knives. Slinging the backpack on my shoulder, I put my usual knives in their sheaths and went to see if Jake had the address.
Jake handed me a slip of paper and watched my reaction as I looked at it. Frowning, I tried to figure out why he was watching me, it wasn’t anywhere I knew.
His gaze burned into the back of my head and I broke.
“I give in. What’s the big deal?”
He shrugged and gave me a half-hearted smile.
“Ready?”
“Sure.”
I texted Cole the address as I followed Jake out of the apartment. The feeling that Jake was hiding something from me ate at me. You’d have thought I’d be used to it by then, but it still formed at itch that wriggled between my shoulder blades and distracted me. He looked the same as he always had, but I knew so much had changed. He still wore the same jeans and t-shirts, with the sexy fresh-out-of-bed hair that cried out to be touched.
It was his eyes, I think. There was a coldness to them now. Gold swirled around the pupils and threatened to pull me into some dangerous whirlpool. I looked away and bit back a sigh. We were friends, it wasn’t the end of the world. It had just been a matter of time once I’d been turned into a garou. That didn’t make it hurt less, but I was doing my best to bury that pain somewhere deep in the back of my mind.
Once we were safely in Jake’s car and could talk freely, I peppered him with questions about the job.
“How many coyotes?”
“Six.”
It wasn’t like him to give one-word answers.
“Why hasn’t anyone else taken it on?”
Four hours was a reasonable distance. I was surprised someone closer hadn’t taken the job, especially if the money was as good as Jake had said.
“They did.”
I wrinkled my nose, that sounded like they’d been killed. This was what I’d been building up to. The dangerous jobs that would make people really respect me.
“What about the humans?”
“A local witch coven is altering their perception, so they haven’t noticed.” Jake said as if it was nothing.
I looked out of the window and crossed my arms. The witches had a lot of power at times. That didn’t sit well with me. Part of it was the dismal view they had of garou. I was soon lost in my own head as I watched the world go by. The familiar forest gave way to open roads with rocky surroundings and the edges of a couple of smaller cities. I had felt a slight tug when we’d left my territory. My wolf side whined and huffed in the back of my mind. It wasn’t right to walk in others’ territories without giving them warning.
I reminded my wolf side that I was a guardian and that meant I was free to wander between territories as long as I was there to prot
ect, not cause harm. The wolf within relaxed, satisfied with the reminder, and I relaxed along with it.
Jake made no attempts at conversation for the first two hours. I didn’t think I’d ever spent two hours with him without conversation, and it further added to the wrongness of everything. A nasty little voice began to ask if perhaps this was a set-up. He was fae, only three quarters, but still fae. Was he trying to take me out as the garou guardian? It wouldn’t be the first time he’d been pushed into doing things he didn’t want to do by older, more powerful fae.
I looked over at him, trying to see some sign of malice. He reached over and squeezed my knee like he’d done hundreds of times in the past. I squeezed my eyes closed. I needed to trust him with my life if we were going to survive this job.
6
Jake pulled up into a small motel car park an hour or so outside of Portland. It was mostly tidy, with freshly painted single-storey buildings forming an L shape around the car park. I found myself reflexively sniffing the air as I glanced around for potential exits and points to watch for enemies. The scrubby grass was getting long and the flower beds had seen better days. The plants within them were rangy with battered flowers sitting atop the slender stems.
“We’ll do this after dark,” Jake said as he got out of the car.
I wrinkled my nose. More painful silence was not what I’d hoped for. His logic made sense though, the witches had their limits and we couldn’t slaughter what would look like normal people in front of the humans. The council would have my head, and Cole wouldn’t be able to stop them.
Shouldering my backpack, I followed Jake across the nearly empty car park while keeping my ears pricked. The usual sounds of birds came from the nearby woods. Cars flew down the country road and tinny country music came from somewhere I couldn’t quite see. Jake walked into the office with a big fake smile on his face. I felt something shift in the air; the temperature warmed a touch.
