She got nothing. Not a single muscle moved on Alexander’s face. In fact, his face was unnaturally still.
“Why should I care?” he said in a very pleasant, reasonable voice.
A wave of unease washed over her.
She forced out a laugh. “Just saying, is all. Not that I would be surprised if it’s true—he’s a bit of a manwhore. He’s easy.”
“I thought you considered him a friend.” Alexander’s tone remained pleasant and calm as he turned the car swiftly. “That’s not a very nice thing to say about a friend.”
“Being friendly and being friends is not the same.”
He said nothing.
A chill went through her.
She stretched her hand out and took his, entwining their fingers.
Alexander didn’t squeeze back, but he didn’t pull his hand away, either.
Mila breathed out and relaxed.
They were fine. Nothing had changed. Alexander was as lovely to her as ever. She had nothing to worry about.
Yet, no matter what she told herself, a ball of worry was buried in her stomach, weighing her down and making her feel sick.
She wished she could turn back time and stop herself from approaching Christian Ashford.
Chapter 15
Christian had just gotten out of the shower and put on a pair of shorts when his grandmother knocked on his door.
“Are you decent, dear? You have a visitor.”
Wondering who it could be, he opened the door.
Alexander stood beside his grandma.
Christian blinked, feeling lost. What was Alexander doing here?
“Hey,” he said, meeting Alexander’s eyes.
Alexander tugged at his collar and cleared his throat. “I was in the neighborhood,” he said, rather stiffly.
Christian blinked, glanced away and nodded. “Come on in.” He stepped aside, letting Alexander enter the room.
His grandma gave him a questioning look, but Christian shook his head: no, Alexander wasn’t his boyfriend.
“Your coat, young man,” his grandma said.
Alexander removed his coat and gave it to her.
Christian closed the door. “Sorry for the mess. I know you hate it.” In his defense, it was the room of an average college student.
Alexander looked around. “I expected worse.”
“Should I be offended?”
Alexander returned his gaze to him, and suddenly, Christian became acutely aware that he was wearing only a pair of shorts. And he was wet. Christian grabbed a clean shirt and put it on quickly.
“I didn’t know you lived with your grandmother.”
“I’m a bit tight on money at the moment, so living here makes sense. Grandma doesn’t mind. I think she’s lonely.”
Silence fell in the room as they looked at each other.
Christian shifted from one foot to the other, rubbing the back of his neck. “You can sit down?”
Alexander’s lips twitched. “Is that a question?”
Christian grinned sheepishly. “Maybe.”
Alexander stared at him for a few moments before clearing his throat. “I have two hours to kill until I have to pick up Mila. Entertain me.”
Christian laughed. “Do you ever work?” he said, flopping down on the couch and grabbing the TV remote.
“Sometimes,” Alexander said, mock-serious. “If I’m in the mood.”
Christian found himself smiling as he switched on the TV. It still surprised him a bit that Alexander wasn’t a compulsive workaholic and perfectionist. He seemed the type, but he actually wasn’t. It looked like he strove for perfection only in his personal life. “I think I have some lame action flicks. They’re so bad they’re hilarious. Come on, sit down.”
He realized too late the only place to sit besides the bed was the spot on the couch next to him.
Alexander hesitated before sitting as far from him as possible, which wasn’t very far: the couch was pretty small.
Licking his lips, Christian looked at the TV as the movie started.
“Hope I don’t bore you too much,” Alexander murmured.
Frowning, Christian studied him. Alexander’s face was expressionless, his eyes on the TV screen. “Why would you bore me?”
“You said you got bored. That’s why you ditched m—us.”
Christian bit his lip. “It’s different. It was sex. This…isn’t sex.” It definitely wasn’t.
Alexander chuckled. “Just what every man wants to hear: that he bores someone only in bed.”
Christian caught his arm. “You know I didn’t mean it that way.”
He felt the muscles under his hand flex.
Alexander looked down at Christian’s fingers around his biceps before slowly looking up.
Christian flushed and let go, clenching his hand and putting it in his lap. “You know I was far from bored.” He tensed, half-expecting Alexander to ask why he had quit if he hadn’t been really bored, but Alexander didn’t ask.
Christian breathed out.
They watched the movie in silence for a while, though Christian wouldn’t have been able to tell what the movie was about even if his life depended on it. There was a lot of shouting and shooting, but he barely registered it.
Christian had never been so acutely aware of his own body. He could feel every breath: Alexander’s even breathing and his own, irregular and a bit too loud. He could feel every inch that separated their bodies, his skin prickling and aching for Alexander’s touch.
On the screen, people were having sex, and Christian fidgeted a bit. He didn’t look at Alexander, but he was sure he wasn’t just imagining the sudden awkwardness in the air. The tension, thick and taut.
He has a girlfriend, Christian repeated to himself like a mantra. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend.
He nearly flinched when he felt a touch on his bare arm. Alexander’s fingers stroked the side of his hand, brushing Christian’s wrist.
Christian turned his head and found Alexander watching the movie, as though he wasn’t even aware what his hand was doing. Maybe he wasn’t.
The sex scene ended, but Alexander’s fingers were still touching his arm. Stroking. Kneading gently.
Christian panted, his gaze becoming unfocused, his nerves lighting up, and his skin burning where Alexander touched it.
“Alec,” he bit out at last.
“What?”
“Your hand.”
The fingers stopped.
Alexander looked down, pressed his lips into a thin line and removed his hand. “Sorry,” he said, his voice clipped. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Christian said with a forced lightness in his tone. “Shawn and I touch each other all the time.”
“Shawn,” Alexander repeated. “Is he just a friend?”
“What?”
Alexander’s face was expressionless, but his eyes were fixed on him intently. “Do you sleep with him?”
Christian gave a short laugh. “No! He’s like a brother to me. Besides, he’s in a relationship, and even if he wasn’t, he’s not my type.” Where the hell had Alexander gotten the idea about him and Shawn?
Alexander’s lashes lowered, hiding his expression. When he looked up again, his eyes were unreadable. “How many people have you slept with in the last few weeks?”
Christian’s breath caught in his throat.
He cocked his head. “Why do you care?”
Silence.
Alexander said at last, “I don’t like that people think you’re easy.”
Oh.
Christian looked back at the TV. “It’s none of your business how many people I’ve fucked after you.” He knew he sounded pissed off and disappointed, but he couldn’t do anything about it; he’d never been that good at hiding his emotions. “I’m not going to apologize for being ‘easy.’”
He felt Alexander look at his profile. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“Then what the fuck did
you mean?” Christian glared at him. “What are you even doing here, Alec? And don’t feed me that bullshit about being in the neighborhood. Why are you here?”
Alexander’s throat moved. He looked away, his jaw clenched.
“I don’t know,” he said tersely.
The raw honesty in his voice almost made Christian’s heart leap out of his chest.
“You don’t know?” If Alexander didn’t know what he was doing here—if this was a spur-of-the moment visit—it was huge. Alexander Sheldon always planned and rationalized his actions. Always. That much Christian knew.
Alexander stood up. “It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come here.” A muscle pulsed in his cheek. “Goodbye, Christian.” There was finality in his voice, and Christian panicked and grabbed his hand.
Alexander flinched.
“Don’t go,” Christian said, squeezing his fingers. “We can be— we can be friends.” Inwardly, he was cringing, because this was a fucking terrible idea. Being friends with Alexander would be hell. But there was a part of him that was ready to be whatever Alexander wanted them to be—the stupid, smitten part.
“Friends,” Alexander repeated, as though the word was unfamiliar to him.
Christian nodded, holding his gaze. “Yeah. Just hang out, you know?”
Alexander stared at him.
Christian could literally feel the conflict in Alexander: his grip on Christian’s hand kept loosening and tightening.
Remembering that people seemed to like his smile, Christian smiled and said softly, “Friends?”
“Friends,” Alexander said.
“Okay,” Christian said, not sure whether he was elated or disappointed. “Friends, then.”
Nodding, Alexander took his seat again, but closer to Christian this time. He freed his hand from Christian’s fingers and stretched his arm over the back of the couch, behind Christian. He was warm, and big, and comfy—and so close that Christian could smell his aftershave. Feel his heat.
Christian took a shaky breath in. God, he wanted him. He wanted to put his head on Alexander’s shoulder. He wanted to wrap his arm around his waist. He wanted to straddle his body and ride him. And all of it was going at a thousand miles an hour through his head, making him dizzy with need.
Friends? At this rate, he would go mad by the end of the week.
Chapter 16
By the end of the week, Christian had developed a case of blue balls.
By the end of the week after that, he was also annoyed as hell and stupidly, ridiculously smitten.
Alexander was a very attentive “friend.” He came to Christian’s place every day, usually right after Christian returned from school. He somehow knew Christian’s schedule, but that didn’t exactly surprise him: Alexander’s memory was freakishly good and he noticed everything.
Well, everything except for the fact that their “friendship” was weird as hell. He touched Christian all the freaking time. A touch on the neck or on the shoulder, an arm around his waist, a nose nuzzling the side of his face. Not to mention the staring. It drove Christian crazy.
The worst part was, Christian was pretty sure Alexander didn’t even notice how weird he was behaving.
But other people did.
Shawn was looking at them oddly, and no wonder.
Christian took a deep breath in, trying to ignore Alexander’s hand on his neck.
“Sure,” Alexander told Shawn. “If you want to ascertain that your sisters’ babysitter really speaks fluent Italian and Chinese, send her to my office.”
Shawn stared at Alexander’s hand around Christian’s neck. “It’s not that I care,” he said slowly, tearing his eyes away and giving a what-the-fuck look to Christian, who gave him a helpless look in response. “But my partner finds her recommendations a bit suspicious.” He shrugged, smiling crookedly. “Personally, I think he’s just paranoid, but we haven’t had much luck with babysitters for the twins, so he’s a bit overprotective.”
“Send her over,” Alexander said, the tips of his fingers stroking the side of Christian’s neck.
Christian hoped his shivers weren’t obvious. “Yeah, do it,” he told Shawn with a slightly forced laugh. “Maybe that would make this guy stay in his office for a few hours.”
Alexander looked at him, a hint of amusement in his eyes. “My business can run smoothly without my full-time supervision. If the manager needs to be present at all times, it means he didn’t hire the right people in the first place and didn’t create efficient systems for them to follow. I did.”
“Smugness isn’t attractive,” Christian said, smiling at him. Though who was he kidding? Alexander’s self-assurance was kind of hot.
Alexander’s cell phone rang. He answered the phone with his free hand, the other still wrapped around Christian’s neck.
Christian gritted his teeth. This was getting ridiculous.
“I can’t hear you.” Alexander let go of Christian’s neck and made his way to the empty classroom nearby where it wasn’t as noisy.
“What the hell?” Shawn said as soon as Alexander was out of earshot.
“Tell me about it.” Christian sighed. “He’s driving me crazy with this. He says we’re friends and then gropes me all the time.”
“Did you discuss it with him?”
Averting his gaze, Christian raked a hand through his hair. “I…”
“You’re scared,” Shawn said, a note of surprise in his voice.
“I’m not,” Christian grumbled. Yes, he was scared, and he hated it. He was scared to freak Alexander out if he confronted him. He was scared Alexander would stop coming, that he would stop touching him. No matter how frustrating all the touching was, deep down, he was a bit addicted to it already. Or more than a bit.
Damn it.
He caught Shawn looking at him oddly. “What?”
“Nothing. Just…” Shawn was eyeing him, thoughtful. “You’ve changed—I don’t mean it in a bad way, though. You just used to be all cocky and overconfident. You’ve got it bad, huh? You’re almost shy around him now.”
“I’m not!” Christian protested. He wasn’t shy. He was never shy.
“Just…” Shawn’s face was grim. “Just be careful, okay? He has a girlfriend. He might be a bit confused now, but he has a girlfriend. Don’t let him dick you around.”
Christian swallowed. “I know. I won’t.”
Alexander walked back to them, sliding his cell phone into his pocket. “Mila told me not to wait for her.” He looked at Christian. “You need a ride?”
Christian thought about Shawn’s warning.
Then he thought about spending the evening with Alexander.
He said, “Yeah.”
He ignored the disapproving, worried look on Shawn’s face. Fuck it, maybe it was pathetic and stupid, maybe it wouldn’t end well, but he couldn’t deny himself this.
Slipping into his jacket, Christian followed Alexander outside.
It was very cold, but he didn’t feel it.
Alexander looked back at him.
“What?” Christian said with a smile, feeling snowflakes melt on his flushed skin.
“Nothing,” Alexander said, dragging his eyes away and opening his car’s doors with a remote control. “Get in.”
Christian climbed into the passenger seat and chuckled, remembering the last time he’d been in this seat. “Remember the first time you gave me a ride? You were very annoyed.”
Alexander snorted, starting the car. “You were very annoying. And talked too much. And…” He trailed off, and Christian fidgeted, suddenly remembering it was also the night Alexander had kissed him for the first time. The night that had started it all.
Silence stretched, getting more awkward by the minute.
When the silence became unbearable, Alexander’s phone rang again. Thank fuck.
“Could you put the phone on speaker?” Alexander said, his eyes on the road as he maneuvered the car through the dense traffic.
“Sure.” Christian
pulled the phone out of Alexander’s coat and put it on speaker. He hoped it wasn’t Mila. The last thing he wanted to hear was Alexander and her being all lovey-dovey.
“Sheldon speaking,” Alexander said.
“Sheldon speaking,” a deep male voice repeated, clearly teasing him.
Alexander smiled. “How is good old London?”
“Probably still there,” the caller replied. “But I’m not there, actually.”
“You arrived already?”
“Uh huh. At my old place. Come over and bring some beer.”
Alexander glanced at Christian. “Now? Don’t you have jet lag?”
“I do, and that’s precisely why I won’t be able to sleep until I’m knackered.”
“Knackered,” Alexander repeated, snorting. “Don’t forget to boil a pot of tea for me, mate.”
The caller laughed. “I won’t. So you’re coming?”
Christian pursed his lips, trying to suppress his disappointment.
Alexander glanced at him. “I’m out with a friend, actually.”
There was a short silence on the line. For some reason, Christian had the impression the caller was surprised.
“Well, bring him along, then.”
Alexander looked at him with a question in his eyes.
Christian shrugged.
“We’ll be there in half an hour,” Alexander said.
“Who was that?” Christian asked when the call ended.
“My cousin, Jared. You’ll like him.”
Chapter 17
Alexander’s cousin looked a lot like Alexander.
That was the first thought Christian had as he watched the men hug and clap each other on the back.
They were freakishly alike: the same height, the same dark hair and dark blue eyes. Jared Sheldon was a bit stockier than Alexander and their facial features were slightly different—Alexander’s were a bit more angular—but they could be easily mistaken for one another if one didn’t look closely enough.
Jared noticed him staring and smiled. “No, we aren’t twins. He’s three years younger.” He shook Christian’s hand. “Jared Sheldon.”
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