Love, Hate & Us

by S. P. West

  Me: You just want to screw other people. Well knock yourself out. Don’t come crying to me when you get an STD.

  Me: You have a tiny wiener. I hope your next girlfriend chokes on it.

  Yes. That right there was possibly my finest hour.

  Brooke

  The last four weeks have been hell on earth.

  Brody and I are still living in the same house, in different rooms, and at each other’s throats the whole time. Both of us are too stubborn to move out, which is only making the situation worse by the day. In all fairness, he has offered to buy me out, and I am seriously considering it. However, there is a part of me, a big part, that thinks Brody should be the one to go. After all it was he who ended our relationship.

  Brody thinks that I’m being deliberately obtuse and not moving out just to spite him. As he so nicely reminded me last night, as we got into another blazing fight, he can afford to buy me out but can’t afford to buy his share. The fight ended in a lot of door slamming, me calling him a selfish bastard, and Brody heading out. Where he went, I haven’t a clue, but I did notice that he didn’t come home until three in the morning.

  Come to think of it, Brody has been spending more and more time going out in the evenings. He thinks I don’t notice, but I do. As a couple, we rarely went out, preferring to spend our time at home together. Now, I’ll be lucky if I see him for more than ten minutes in any given day of the week.

  It stings.

  It stings that he makes more of an effort with his appearance—taking a shower and changing his clothes before he goes out. He rarely bothered when we were together.

  It hurts that I can overhear the conversations he has on his cell, and from that, I found out that he was already dating someone new.

  Didn’t take long to be replaced, did it?

  Fucking Joely Baxter and her fake tits.

  Why didn’t he tell me? I had to listen to him cooing to her over the phone and calling her baby.

  I hate him.

  They have plans to go out tonight as well.

  Wonderful.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey.” Brody stands in front of me looking like perfection. His dark hair is neatly styled; he’s wearing a gray button down shirt that matches his eyes and what looks to be a new pair of jeans.

  “I’m going out.”

  “Great.” I fake a smile. “Have a nice time.”

  “I’m not sure what time I’ll get back.”

  “Try not to make too much noise.” I have no idea why he’s telling me this, he doesn’t usually.

  “K,” he says as he picks his keys up off the counter.

  “Brody?”

  “Yeah.” He turns back around to look at me.

  “Just…don’t bring her back here. Please.”

  He stares at me for a long moment before answering. “I won’t.”

  “Oh my God, Brooke. You’d love it here!”

  It’s midnight, Brody still isn’t home from his date, and for the last hour or so I’ve been catching up with Hope via Facetime.

  “Seriously. My neighbor, Jake, is H.O.T. He’s a stripper or something.” She laughs. I laugh too, happy that she’s happy. She deserves it after everything she went through with Caden.

  “And it’s warm most of the year.”

  “I don’t know, Hope. I just can’t up and leave my life here.”

  “Sure you can.” She smiles. “I don’t mean to sound mercenary, but what exactly do you have there?”

  “Plenty.”

  “Like?”

  “My job, my friends.” I stop myself before I blurt out Brody.

  “A job you hate, and you can always keep in contact with people. There are these newfangled things called phones, email, and the Internet. You wouldn’t have to put up with frozen eyeballs each winter. Plus, you’ll make loads of new friends here. I have. Everyone is so friendly. They’d love you.”

  “Hey, if you can introduce me to that hot neighbor of yours, then we’ll have a done deal, missy.” I tease without any humor. Hope being Hope notices my sudden change in mood.

  “Seriously, Brooke, I miss you. I miss my sister,” she says sadly.

  “I miss you too, piglet,” I say, pressing my fingers to my lips and blowing her a kiss, which she pretends to catch.

  “It would do you so good leaving that place behind. Leaving all those memories in the past.” She gives a little shudder.

  “Brody’s dating someone.” I blurt out.

  “Oh, Brooke. How do you feel about that?”

  “Like my heart is a piece of glass with a crack in it. That crack gets bigger and bigger with each passing day.”

  “Honey…”

  “I’ll have to pull my big girl panties up and get on with it, won’t I?” I say with a sigh. “It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

  “Come live with me. Please?” she pleads. “I hate the idea of you having to sit on the sidelines while Brody moves on with his life. You’ll just end up dead inside, and before you say anything,” she says quickly before I can interrupt, “I know that from bitter experience. You know as well as I do that those McAllister boys aren’t exactly lacking in admirers. I wouldn’t put it past some woman to try and get herself knocked up by Brody so that he’ll put a ring on it.”

  “That wouldn’t happen. Brody’s more savvy than that.”

  “I thought Cade was too and look what happened there.”

  “I don’t know, Hope. It’s a big change for me. I’d be uprooting my life. My job might be boring but it’s steady.”

  “You told me yourself that you’ve got to move, and that you can’t afford to buy Brody out. You’ll have to find somewhere else to live soon. Why not cut your losses and make a clean break? Come live with me. My apartment is plenty big for the two of us. We could even get a cat…”

  “And hot neighbors.” I grin.

  “And hot neighbors,” she repeats with a laugh. “Just promise you’ll think about it, okay?”

  “I promise.”

  The sound of the front door slamming shut makes me look up from the computer screen.

  “Brody home?” Hope asks.

  “Yeah. I better go. Don’t want him thinking I waited up for him.”

  “No problem. Bye, B.”

  “Bye, piglet,” I say, pressing the red button to end our conversation.

  With a huge lack of enthusiasm, I get out of my nice warm bed and pad over to the bedroom door in order to close it. Just as I reach it, I hear a distinctly female giggle, followed by a very male, very Brody groan.

  No.

  He wouldn’t.

  He promised.

  The female voice giggles again and I hear a thump, as if two bodies are colliding with a wall.

  I can hear Brody’s familiar rumble but can’t make out what he’s saying. The female voice lets out a high-pitched shriek, then a long, low moan.

  Judging by the increasing closeness of the sounds of the voices, I would say that they will be in the hallway in three…two…one.

  “I want you so bad.” Brody gasps, while my heart starts its slow, painful splinter into two.

  “I.”

  Kiss.

  “Want.”

  Kiss.

  “You.”

  Kiss.

  “Too.”

  I’d recognize those nasally tones anywhere.

  Joely Baxter.

  I bite down hard on the back of my hand as I hear them grunt and groan right outside my door. I can hardly breathe as now both my hands are clamped over my mouth, making it impossible for the wail of anguish that wants to rip from me to have a voice.

  “Do you have protection?” Joely gasps.

  “I…yeah,” Brody answers with a moan.

  No. Please. No. Don’t do this to me. You promised.

  “This your room?” I feel the push on the other side of my door. Any second Brody and Joely are going to come tumbling into my room. Then it’s real. My worst nightmare. Brody is going to have sex wit
h another woman, and I’ll have to listen to them go at it.

  I was his one and only. I thought I was special, but I guess I’m not.

  “NO,” Brody says roughly, and the pressure on my door eases up. “My room’s this way.”

  I hear a thump, then Joely lets out a belly laugh.

  “Jesus, Brody, how much did you have to drink?”

  “Too much.” He laughs. “Now come here.”

  The door to his room slams shut and I hear more giggling. A few minutes pass and the “Oh Gods” start. I dress as quickly as I can, fleeing the house before I’m forced to hear more.

  As I run down the steps of our porch, I notice that Lola’s lights are on. Like a moth to a flame, I sprint over to her house and hammer on her front door.

  “LOLA. OPEN UP. PLEASE, LOLA. Please be in...please.” I cry before my exhausted, heartbroken body gives out on me and I end up a sobbing heap on the floor of her porch.

  “Brooke?” A bright light washes over me, and the next thing I know Lola has her arms around me, rocking me back and forth. “Brooke, honey, what on earth happened to you?”

  “B-B-B…rod.”

  “Shhhhh.” She coos. “Come on. Let’s get you inside, safe and sound.”

  I feel a gentle tug on my arm as Lola helps me to my feet and ushers me inside. Without a word, she guides me past her living room to her guest room. I stand silent as she pulls back the bed covers, smoothing them down before taking my hand and leading me over to the comfy looking bed. Lola places her soft hands on each shoulder, pushing me down until I sink on the mattress.

  “Just goin’ to take your shoes off, sugar, then I’ll get you somethin’ to help you sleep,” she says with a tender smile. I remain dumbstruck as she helps me lay back, fussing around me as she tucks me in. “Be right back, hun.”

  In my near catatonic state, I don’t notice that Lola has left the room until she hands me a mug of hot brandy.

  “Now you drink that up. You hear? That’s my grandma’s recipe for when life has done you ill. Nothing but good ole brandy mixed with a little bit of honey and hot water. It’ll sooth a soul sent straight to hell, according to Grandma. Drink it all and then you can tell me what happened.”

  I don’t even get that far. The effects of the strong alcohol quickly sends me off into a dreamless sleep while I curse the day I ever met Brody McAllister.

  Brody

  It’s not the bright light streaming through my window that wakes me. It’s not even the pounding headache or the ache in the small of my back. It’s the feel of unfamiliar arms wrapped around me, the alien scent of the person who is currently sharing my bed.

  I manage to open one eye, carefully turning my head so it doesn’t explode, to see long brown hair spread over my pillows. Hair that doesn’t belong to Brooke.

  Oh God! What have I done?

  I try to remember what happened last night but draw a blank. The guilt though, that’s instantaneous.

  The arms tighten, trying to pull me deeper into the embrace.

  “Brooke!”

  I push back, leaping out of the bed as fast as possible, looking around my room to try and locate my clothes. I finally find my jeans at the bottom of my bed, underneath a purple pair of panties.

  No. No. No.

  I quickly pull on my jeans and a dirty t-shirt from my laundry basket. I need to find Brooke, I need to make this right. I leave my bedroom, just as the woman in my bed starts to stir, and run to Brooke’s room as fast as I can. Her bedroom door is slightly ajar. I push on it lightly and step into her room.

  “Brooke? Sweetheart?” Her bed is unmade and there’s no sign of her. I check the en suite bathroom, then head to the kitchen, the study, and finally the living room. She’s not here. She’s gone.

  What have I done?

  “So. Are you at least going to offer me some coffee?” I look up to see a very smug looking Joely leaning against the door frame.

  “What are you doing here, Joely? Why were you in my bed?”

  “Don’t tell me that you’ve forgotten me already? Some impression I made.”

  I try to think back to last night. I remember going to the party, drinking, drinking some more, arguing with Joely, drinking more, kissing Joely, asking her back here…Shit.

  “Did we…”

  “Did we what?” she asks, one eyebrow raised.

  “Did we…you know,” I say, gesturing between us.

  “Did we have sex? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

  “Yeah,” I mumble.

  “Yes, we did.”

  I let out a long groan and place my head in my hands. This can’t be happening.

  “Gee. Thanks. Make a girl feel appreciated why dontcha.”

  I can’t deal with Joely and her snarky attitude. I can’t believe that I slept with her, she was the last person on this planet I wanted in my bed. This is so fucked up.

  “Tell me that we at least used protection?” I growl, walking to my room. Joely trots along behind me.

  “Yeah. Why?” she asks.

  “Because the last thing I want is to be tied to your skank ass for the next eighteen years,” I say, shoving her clothes into her arms. “Now get dressed and then get the hell out.”

  “Awwww, come on, Brody. We could be so good together.” She purrs, reaching for my arm.

  “This ends now, Joely. You’ve gotten what you wanted. I ended things with Brooke, and after last night, I’ve probably lost her forever. I’ll pay back the money I owe, but I will not be blackmailed by you anymore.”

  “Just make sure you do, asshole,” she says as she hastily pulls her clothes on. “You know what’ll happen otherwise. You think it’s bad now? I’ll make your and your family’s lives one hundred times worse if I don’t get my money.” She walks over to where I’m standing, taking advantage of the fact that I’m rooted to the spot. “I’ll make sure everyone knows the McAllister family’s dirty secrets.” She leans forward and places a tiny kiss by my ear, then whispers, “Everyone.” She steps back, giving me an insincere smile before walking out of the room. “I want my money by the end of the month,” she yells back to me. It’s only when I hear the sound of the door slam that I start to breathe again. My legs give way and I find myself on the floor with my back against the wall.

  How the hell did my life end up like this?

  If I had to answer a few months back, I’d have said that I was on top of the world. I had everything that I’d wanted in life. Engaged to my beautiful childhood sweetheart—the love of my life—owned my own home, and my business was booming. That was all I needed. Or I thought I did.

  Boring.

  That’s what Cade said I’d become.

  A boring old man.

  My younger brother was out there living the dream. Adored by millions. More money than you could shake a stick at. He had a different girl in his bed each night. All because he wasn’t afraid to leave this shitty, little town.

  What he said hit home. I’d never done anything that wasn’t expected of me. Suddenly, it felt like I was missing out on something. Life was passing me by and I hadn’t really experienced it. So, I did what I thought best. I ended it with Brooke and started to live the life of a single man. Only, my heart refused to believe that Brooke and I weren’t together any longer.

  I tried going out. Tried talking to the women that flocked to me at the bars I went to. What I didn’t expect was the guilt I felt when I so much as looked at another woman, crippling guilt that made me stutter so much that whoever I was with would walk off in disgust. If I’m honest, none of the women I spoke to could hold a candle to Brooke.

  Brooke. I should go find her and apologize for bringing Joely home. She didn’t deserve the level of disrespect that I showed her last night. There might be a small chance that she didn’t overhear anything, but knowing the way my luck has gone recently, she probably heard everything.

  God, I miss her, and now I’ve probably lost her forever because I had sex with Joely Baxter of all peo
ple—just like my dear old dad and Cade did. Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, does it?

  Jesus. Everything is a fucking mess.

  My Dad and Joely.

  My asshole father and that bitch.

  A stand-up pillar of the community, Alasdair ‘Dair’ McAllister had a fling with the town tramp, and now he’s a daddy again. I have, according to Joely, a half sister that was conceived around the time that Brooke’s parents were killed. While we were all mourning, my dad decided to fuck an eighteen-year-old girl and not use protection. I knew Joely had a kid. I knew that no one knew who the father was. The gossips in the town have spent years speculating who it was. Not once was my father’s name thrown into the ring…not one person in this town would think that my dad would do something like that. Not Dair McAllister. No, he wouldn’t cheat on his beautiful wife, Judy. No way, not him. Just goes to show that you don’t really know anyone.

  I only found out a few weeks back about Kyan being my half sister. Joely had gotten into a snit over the payments my father was giving her. She thought by coming to see me at work and spilling hers and my dad’s sordid little secret that she would get what she wanted—more money.

  I refused at first, but then she threatened to tell my mom. My sweet, gentle mom, who loves my father to the moon and beyond, and who would be destroyed if she ever found out that my dad hadn’t remained faithful to her.

  That was enough to get my attention. I couldn’t care less what happened to my father anymore, but I couldn’t let her hurt my mom like that. So, I made a deal with her. I would pay her $2,000 each month, and for that she would remain silent. This worked out for a month or so, until Joely demanded more. She dropped the bomb on me that she’d not only slept with my father, she’d also slept with Cade around the same time—so the poor kid could be my dad’s or my brother’s.

  Joely thought that the media would love that. Father and son fucking the same woman and she didn’t know who the father was. She didn’t want extra money this time…she wanted me. That’s where we are now—everyone has to think that we’re dating. I feel sick every time I have to call her baby.

  By having sex with her, I’ve screwed things up big time. It’s legitimized our relationship in her eyes.