“That’s his love.” I am actually blushing.
“I can see that. He proved it. I never thought a man like Adam Gibson would fall in love so completely. First I used to think how lucky he was to have you, but now when I look at you, I think you’re lucky to have him.”
“Yes, no doubt. He has spoiled me rotten.” I walk toward the kitchen counter, and he follows me. “Tell me, why didn’t you come to the party last night?”
My sudden question startles him. His face changes color in an instant. “I was busy.”
“There was something more important than attending my wedding function?”
“Trust me, Rania. There was something more important.”
I stay quiet for a while, looking at his serious expression. What’s eating him? I change the subject. “How’s life?”
“You tell me, how’s life? How does it feel to get back home after two months?” he asks me. I keep smiling. “You know, the newspapers were filled with gossip about Adam, wondering where the hell he disappeared to with his new bride. He was not answering any calls, no business meetings, no conferences, nothing. Poor Ali once announced in a press conference that Romeo had eloped with his Juliet, to some romantic destination. The headlines were quite catchy. Did you have a chance to follow the story?”
“No, Mike. We were cut off from the rest of the world. No emails, no news, no Internet.” My cheeks are hot; I am actually blushing. “But the time flew so fast, I never had the urge to stay connected to the world. He was enough for me.”
“I can see that.” Mike watches me blush.
Julianne steps into the kitchen and serves us the lunch.
“I have made chicken marsala for you.” I smirk at Mike. He looks at me open-mouthed. “I know you love it.”
“You know I still love you…” He winks at me while taking a bite of juicy tender chicken. “Tell me one thing.” He observes me for a while. “If…ever in your life…Jibran reappears—”
“Why are you talking about him, Mike? He is dead.”
“Have you seen him dead, Rania?”
I look at him blankly. “Why are we even talking about it? Baba showed me his death certificate. He is dead, okay?” All of a sudden, I am angry.
“Right.” His eyes are fixed on his plate. “He is dead.”
I don’t know why he brought up this topic. He had never spoken to me about Jibran in all those years. And now, all of a sudden, he is noticeably quiet, as if something is cooking in his mind. We finish our meal in silence.
Afterwards, we sit on the couch in the living room. “How is your life going?” I change the subject from my life to his.
He looks at me and smiles. “Well…” He rakes his fingers through his hair. “I am…there’s a lot to share, actually.”
“All right, I have the whole day…spill the beans.”
“You know your sister-in-law…”
“You are dating Eva?” He nods. “No kidding!”
“No kidding, babes. I am.”
“Does Adam know about it?”
“How would he? You guys were vanished from this world.”
“Where did you meet her?” I am anxious to know everything. My God! I can’t believe it.
“We became friends at your wedding, I mean in Dubai.”
“Ah!” I lie back and rest my head on the couch. “So, how far has it gone?”
He is actually blushing. That’s so sweet. “Well…it’s kinda complicated. She likes to sleep with me, but she doesn’t really trust me.”
“You what? You have been shagging her?”
“Actually…we both enjoy it. I guess our bodies are too physically compatible. First, it was just casual sex, but then…” He rubs the back of his neck. “Things started to get steamy…I’m actually getting involved…but she’s stuck at the same spot where she was the very first day we met. She still doesn’t treat me as her boyfriend. I feel like it’s just my body she wants.”
“Hmm.” I watch his serious expression. Poor him—once more he is falling for a girl who is not responding to him the way he wants. “Have you talked to her about it? I mean about your feelings?”
“I tried…many times…but she ignores me. She thinks it’s only about sex. But I’m looking for more.” He rests his head on the back of the couch. “Why does this always happen to me? I tried my best to move on after you, to see what life has to offer me.” He passes his fingers through his hair again. “And now this…what should I do?” He looks at me, hoping I may have the solution.
“Why don’t you stop touching her, then? If she asks you why, just tell her clearly that you are looking for more. If her feelings are involved, then she will bend.”
He keeps looking at me for a long time. I think the idea has triggered his mind. “I know she likes me, it’s just that she’s hiding her feelings. I don’t know why.”
“Has she told you anything about her past?”
“Yeah…she told me, she was used in her teenage years.”
“Did she tell you by who?”
“No…she doesn’t open up much.” He reads my eyes. “You know who?”
“Yes, I know. But if she hasn’t told you, then I am not the one to disclose her secret.”
“Oh, come on, Rania. Do I know the guy who has done all this damage?”
“Yes and no.” I look away from him. I am not sure if I should tell him or not. But Adam trusted me with her secret; I can’t tell Mike. And she is not just Eva; she is my sister-in-law now.
“So, you’re not going to tell me?”
“It’s her secret, Mike. Let her tell you. Don’t even consider the fact that I know anything.”
He remains quiet for a while, perhaps acknowledging my suggestion.
***
Mike stayed for an hour. We discussed and shared many things. I think he is quite serious about Eva. I am not sure if I should talk about this with Adam or Eva. I don’t know if she will tell me anything about Mike or not. But I do plan to see her in a couple of days.
After Mike left, I unpacked our bags from the honeymoon. I placed our souvenirs in their appropriate places, mostly in Adam’s study. All the magnets and snow globes reminded me of our tour. What a wonderful time we had. After that, I realized we can still live without connecting to the world, if we have a proper connection to just one person. Only one person is enough to be your whole world.
The entire day has passed by. I kept myself busy in the kitchen, preparing dinner for Adam, and then moved a few things in the kitchen for my convenience. It’s almost ten at night and no sign of Adam. His phone is also turned off. I wonder why he hasn’t called me the whole day. I’m sure he must be very busy. Things would have overwhelmed him after two months. I’m about to call Ali to ask about Adam, when he opens the front door. I run to him immediately and hug him tightly.
“Hey…where have you been?” I kiss him on his neck.
He pulls himself away, creating space between us. He looks very tired. I feel an unknown change in his body. I pull off his jacket and take his hand to sit on the couch. I sit next to him and run my fingers gently through his hair. He closes his eyes and rests his head on the back of the couch.
“Is everything okay, Adam?” I try to stay calm, but deep down I am panicking. He has never acted so distant since we’ve been married.
“Nothing.” He opens his eyes. “I’m just tired. It was a long day.”
“Yeah, I can see that.” I get up from the couch and stand behind it to massage his head. I rub his temples and he moans at my touch. After a minute, he grabs my hand.
“Come, sit with me.” He takes my hand and pulls me into his lap. He kisses my forehead and caresses my temple with his warm fingers, but the way he is looking at me is so different. Sometimes, it is hard to read his eyes. But I’m sure there is something wrong, something that is bothering him. “Just stay with me. I want to feel you.” He pulls me closer to him.
Still, his body is warning me. It’s not the same as it was this morning. I
can feel it. “What’s wrong, Adam?”
He watches me for a while, as if trying to memorize my face. The look he is giving to me is so strange and unreadable. “I missed you.” He finally speaks after a few minutes of holding our gazes. Shit! He is drunk.
I watch his expression, not sure whether to ask him why was he drinking so late when I was waiting for him with dinner, and why he never bothered calling me the whole day, at least to tell me that he would be late. Does he miss his old life? Is he missing the freedom that he used to have? Hanging out anywhere he wanted to; going anywhere he desired and no one to question him afterwards. No! He told me I was his world. He can’t think of going back like this.
I remain quiet, but I think my expression might have told him that I’ve noticed he is drunk. “I really missed you.” I see sincerity in his drunken eyes.
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“I was very much stuck at work.” He closes his eyes and rests his head on my shoulder.
“I can imagine.” I soothe him by rubbing the back of his neck gently. “Are you hungry? Dinner is ready.”
“No.” He raises his head and looks at me. “I just want you to stay with me. Don’t go anywhere. I want to feel you.” He rests his head on my chest and pulls me closer to him. Still, my heart is racing because I know there is something wrong which he is not telling me.
We remain silent. I want to see how long he can hold on. I don’t want to poke his mind when he is so tired right now. I want him to relax and feel soothed in my arms, if that’s what he desires. He raises his head again and reads me. He touches my face gently, checking every single feature of my face.
“You are very beautiful, Rania. Do you know that?” he asks me in his drunken voice.
I smile at him. “That’s because you make me feel beautiful. I am beautiful for you only.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “Everyone finds you alluring. All men desire you.” He keeps on caressing my face. “I don’t know how many of them I’m competing with.”
“You are not in any competition. I am yours, Adam.”
He keeps scrutinizing my face, as if trying to discern the truth of what I just said. He tugs me into his arms again. “Yes, you are mine and I am not letting you go.” His sudden insecurity sets off alarms in me. “If you need to go out somewhere, please don’t go alone. Either ask me to take you, or Ali, or there is a security officer assigned to you. I will introduce him tomorrow. But don’t go out anywhere alone, okay?”
“Why this security, all of a sudden?”
“I just want you to stay safe. I’m not taking any risks. Okay?” His voice sounds mechanical.
“What’s wrong, Adam? Why are you acting so strange?”
He locks his gaze on me as if he’s trying to say something, but his words are not enough. “It’s just that…” He looks down. “After two months, I spent the entire day without you.” He looks up at me. “I never thought it would be so hard.”
I kiss him immediately on his lips. Was he really missing me? Is that what bothered him? Then why did he come home so late from work?
“I realized how hard it is for me to breathe without you. I could hardly concentrate on anything.” He shrugs his shoulders. “It scares me, Rania.”
“You don’t have to be scared. I’m not going anywhere. And I want to be your strength, not to weaken you. Please don’t act like this.” I kiss his knuckles.
“The time we spent together in the past two months…it was such a blessing. I miss that.”
“We can always go back.” I wink at him, trying to cheer him up, but it doesn’t do any good.
“I wish it was that easy.” He holds my hand tightly. “You know…if I die now, and even if God sends me to Hell, I won’t complain because He already gave me a piece of Heaven on earth to savor. I have no complaints for Him now.”
I am speechless for a moment. “Oh, Adam!” I hug him tightly. “Please don’t talk like that. I love you.”
“I just want you to promise me one thing.” He pulls my hand closer to his heart. I wait for him to continue. “If ever in life…God forbid…our paths separate…please remember that I never wanted to betray you. Whatever I have done in life, I have tried to protect you.”
“Why are you even talking about separation? What’s wrong, Adam? What are you hiding?”
“Nothing.” He keeps on caressing my face. “It’s just that…there are so many men who desire to be in my place—”
“There is no one who can take your place. Is that clear?”
He squishes my hand in his and kisses it. “I know. Thank you for being mine.” He rests his head on me and pulls me close to him. It seems like he had missed me, and was just trying to feel me this way. I really want to ask him what took him so long at work. If he had enough time to go out for drinks, then he could have come home early too. There are so many questions in my mind, but I don’t have enough strength to ask him right now, when he is acting so vulnerable. I’m pretty sure something happened today which he is not sharing. He was so much brighter in the morning. If going back to work was burdening his mind, I shouldn’t have sent him there.
I didn’t realize it, but he has fallen asleep peacefully on my chest. I think the alcohol has taken effect. I lay his head on the couch and take off his shoes and socks. Suddenly, he pulls me back again, closer to him, and I have no other option than sleeping on the couch, held close to him.
***
When I wake up in the morning, I find myself under cold sheets in our bed, and missing Adam by my side. It feels so strange to wake up without his kisses and loving words. After two months, last night was the first night that we didn’t make love; in fact, he never touched me. If I knew going back to the practical life was going to cause this, bringing this to me, I would have asked Adam never to end our honeymoon. I know he is wealthy enough to afford a longer trip. I wish I could take him back there, bring back the same Adam I married.
My new security man, Zachery, comes to meet me in the afternoon. He tells me he has orders to accompany me whenever I leave the apartment.
Three days later, I have to do some grocery shopping, so I head out with Zachery to the nearest Wal-Mart. For three days, Adam’s behavior has remained the same. I spend the whole day waiting for him. He comes home late, asking me not to wait over dinner for him. All he does is hold me tightly in his arms and sleep. There are no kisses, either. He hasn’t been texting me or calling me during the day. I don’t want to bother him in the middle of his work. I’m never sure if he’s busy in meetings, or with something else. But his behavior has created distance between us.
Meanwhile, I’ve been keeping myself busy with the paperwork for Hope, which Adam gave me as my wedding present. It is a huge responsibility to run a place like this, and I have no experience in it. Finally, on Thursday afternoon, I text him that I’m going out for a lunch date with Grace and Eva. His message is very brusque and to the point.
Say hi to mom. Stay safe and stay where Zachery can see you. And come home early.
That’s it? No love and kisses. What’s eating him? I decide I will surely talk to him when he comes home tonight. If he has business issues, then he should leave those issues at work, not bring them home and spoil our relationship. It’s not going to work if he keeps on behaving so strangely. We really need to talk.
After my lunch with Grace and Eva, I come home around six in the evening. Zachery walks with me to the elevator in the lobby, and then leaves for the day, as I won’t be going out again. As I enter the apartment, it feels very strange, as if I can sense someone’s presence. A stranger. I haven’t ever felt this way.
“Adam, are you home?” I call loudly. I know Julianne leaves by five, and other than Adam, no one has keys to the main door. I look around, but the apartment is quiet. I head to our bedroom, but I don’t see Adam anywhere. I hear the shower running in the washroom. That must be why he didn’t hear me.
Maybe I should sneak into the shower and pamper my husband.
A pleasurable thought tickles me deep down. When I enter the washroom, I see the shower running on its own. That’s strange! Julianne wouldn’t leave the rain shower open like that, even if she had been cleaning it. The room is hazy with steam. I walk toward the vanity and notice a red velvet cloth on it, with a note.
Strip off and get in the shower. I will join you in a minute. I want you completely naked and hot for me, but don’t take this blindfold off of your eyes.
Ah! Someone is playing naughty. I giggle over his message. Finally, I can feel that he is back. It feels like such a long time since we have made love. I am already feeling hot for him—and very giddy. I hastily take off my clothes and take the blindfold with me. After entering the shower, I tie the blindfold around my eyes and stand in the hot water.
After a few minutes of waiting, I feel Adam kissing me on the back of my bare shoulder. I smile as he wraps his arms around me. Strange! I never heard him come into the washroom. He entered so quietly.
“You okay, Adam? You feel so cold.” His body temperature is actually very cold.
“I am very tired, baby. I just want you to warm me.” He snakes his arms around my waist and caresses my breasts gently. God! I am already so charged and hot for him. I should wait for him to progress. I don’t want him to feel like I’m a deprived desperate bimbo who is already hot just from a crazy message. I never realized how much my body was craving his touch. Sometimes, it is so unfair, how he drives me crazy with just a single kiss. My body is conditioned to respond to him with wild abandon.
His kisses trail from my shoulder all the way to my lower back. Then he turns me and kisses my navel, which charges me with ecstasy. He repeats the process of kissing me tenderly as he goes up to my neck. I just can’t help smiling.
“What’s so funny?” His voice is overly seductive.
“You are so unpredictable. I was craving this for the last four days.”
A Prayer Heeded Page 24
