“You never loved her, Jofi. You treated her like a toy; even animals are treated better than that.” My anger was only getting worse. I was on the brink of losing my temper.
“So she told you everything.” His voice was disgusted. “She was dead meat to me. That bitch was only warming others’ beds—”
I held him by his collar. “Don’t you dare talk about my wife from your filthy mouth again. I swear I’ll kill you.” I couldn’t control myself anymore.
“Hold your temper, Gibson. If you wanna live with her, just take your hands off me.” He was not even close to being frightened by any of my threats. Damn!
I let go and moved away from him. “Damn you. You never loved her. You only married her because of her money, and when she refused to bring it to you…you started accusing her of adultery. You knew, Jofi, she wasn’t like that. She was never a sinner.”
“You have just started your life with her, Gibson. Just keep watching her. I have seen her talking to another man in my own bedroom. One man is not enough for her.”
“If you want me to control my temper, then keep your fucking mouth shut. Don’t you dare talk about my wife like that.” Ha! It was so funny that the other man he was talking about wasn’t a man at all. Still, I was enraged because I didn’t like the way he was talking about her. But I knew Rania was right—this asshole would never have understood.
Dammit! Why wasn’t I the very first man in her life? Why can’t I turn back the wheels of time?
“When I saw her the first time, it was her innocence that struck me.” I hadn’t even asked him, but still, he was pouring out the information to me. “Her innocent and captivating beauty was something to bring home, something to capture forever.”
“Still, you used it as a doormat.” I repeated my point.
He shook his head and chuckled. “You fell under the same spell, Gibson. I don’t blame you.”
“I have a timeless trust in her. There is no man in her life, other than me.” I spoke with confidence and promise. And there never will be.
“That’s your assumption, Gibson. I know her. I was her very first—”
“I know. Don’t repeat it. Come to the point.” Seriously, he is pissing me off now.
“Since I believe you are not going to leave her, I thought, why shouldn’t I share some part of your fortune?” He gave a voracious look around my office as he spoke. Greedy bastard. He is selling his ex-wife?
“And why do you think I would share my fortune with you?” I twitched my eyebrow and frowned at him.
“You have no choice, do you? You wanna stay with that woman or not?”
“How much do you want?”
“Ten million dollars in cash.”
That’s it? That was the price to buy her freedom? She was undoubtedly priceless to me. “Deal…but on one condition.” He waited for me to continue. “I will prepare the divorce papers and you sign them. Also, I’ll need that original marriage certificate of yours. And you also sign a contract that you will stay away from her.”
He smiled lustily. “With ten million dollars, I’m willing to leave the country.”
“Good.” I turned around and faced the skyline. “You may leave now.”
He left my office without speaking further. That was easy and quick. But I knew ten million was not going to quench his hankering. I would have to keep an eye on him. I hit the buzzer and called Ali in.
“I need someone to keep an eye on the man who left a moment ago,” I said to Ali, leaning against the wall. “I will give you his information soon.”
“Who is he?”
“Rania’s ex-husband.” I folded my arms across my chest. Ali gaped for a second, wanting to say something, but shut his mouth. “He still claims to be her husband, because in our absence, he registered his marriage here.”
“But legally he cannot do that. You are her husband now.” Ali was still startled.
“Yes, only religiously. According to Toronto’s courts, he is her damn husband. And moreover, he has accused me of keeping his wife against her will.”
“You need to fight this in the courts, Adam. He can’t appear out of nowhere and demand her back. You can give proof that Mr. Bari had his death certificate issued from the Dubai court, because his whereabouts were unknown. Now, since you guys have more power, with holding a religious marriage contract paper, there is no court in this world that would deny your marriage. Just drag him into court.” Ali sounded furious.
“That I don’t want.” I frowned. “Rania doesn’t know he’s alive. If I take him to court, she’ll find out everything. She’s suffered enough. I want to keep her away from this.” He watched my every move. “He’s a greedy man. He asked me for an out-of-court settlement. He stated the price and I’m willing to give it to him so that he’ll sign divorce papers, and this can be done secretly, without involving Rania.”
“Fair enough,” he said. “So you want someone to keep an eye on him?”
“Yes, and I want you to provide security for Rania too. Hire someone or do it yourself, I trust you for that.”
After Ali left, I was in no mood to work anymore. I cancelled all my meetings, and noticed that Rania had called me a couple of times. I needed my own space at that moment; I had to collect and organize my thoughts as to what I needed to do in order to keep her safe, and away from his filthy shadow.
I went home late that night, quite drunk, as I had been trying to get everything off my mind. Her innocent face is still etched in my mind. When she kept quiet instead of questioning me, how she provided me comfort. The fear of losing her was driving me crazy. Although Jibran came the very next day and kept his word by signing the papers and taking his money, still, I was not sure how long his greed would prevent him from coming back or contacting her.
For four days, I kept my passion for her in check, and didn’t consider how she would be feeling about my behavior. I know, by not touching her and by not talking to her about this at all, I’m pushing her away from me, but there is no way I could make her understand what I was feeling.
Tonight is Thursday night and, after tomorrow, I won’t even have the excuse of going to work. The problem is, she knows I’m lying and hiding something from her, but damn, she’s not even asking me the reason. Why is she so nice that she’s not even working up to an argument? Is her past experience of a failed marriage scaring her? No, I don’t want her to think about him. I don’t want her to compare me with him. I’m not like him. I will tell her soon, what has been taking up my time. I swear I will make up for every single moment.
I reach home around nine at night, hoping that she’s waiting for me. Although my heart is yearning for her, I don’t want to see those eyes holding silent questions. They haunt me all night, when she stays quiet and doesn’t argue about why I’m coming home drunk every damn night.
When I enter my apartment, I feel a very strange atmosphere. It’s familiar, yet it is an unknown kind of silence. I haven’t felt it before, even when I used to live alone. When I reach my living room, I find it vacant, devoid of her presence, as if the walls itself are missing her.
“Rania?” I call out her name but the walls return melancholy secrecy. Without giving it any more thought, I climb the stairs and go straight to our bedroom. Upon entering the room, I hear the sound of the shower running.
Should I go and join her? The euphoric thought stimulates my groin. I’m imagining her completely naked under the water. Yes, it’s the perfect time to make up for everything. Damn the fright of losing her! And damn the divorce papers. She’s mine, and I will kill anyone who tries to come between us.
I take off my jacket and throw it on the armchair, and slowly sneak into the bathroom, so she doesn’t hear me coming. I want to surprise her. I loosen my tie and unhook my cufflinks, the ones she gave me when we were in Edmonton. As I place them on the vanity, I see a sticky note on the counter. As I read the message on it, the world around me starts to swivel. I didn’t write this. How can this be my handwriting?
Did someone trick her?
I immediately head to the shower, where I see her crouched against the tiles, her knees folded close to her chest. She is completely naked, a red blindfold tied around her eyes, and hot water pouring over her incessantly. Without even taking my clothes off, I rush to her and turn off the shower. As I bend down and place my hand on her wet arm, she flinches away from me.
“Rania?” I pull the blindfold from her eyes. She is shivering badly. “What’s wrong, baby?” I place my hand on her cheek. Her eyelids flutter and she tries to focus her eyes on me, pain glittering brightly in their depths. Without asking any more questions, I scoop her wet body into my arms and take her out of the shower. I place her on the other side of the vanity, so she can’t see the sticky note. I grab the bathrobe and wrap it around her.
She’s not looking at me, her eyes holding the same blankness as they used to when Khaldun was around her. Shit! Was he here? No. It’s not possible. I kicked him out of her life. He can’t come back when I’m not here. He always comes when I’m close to her, when she feels my body and soul. Before wrapping her in the robe, I notice many love bites—or more precisely, the undeniable marks of excruciation all over her body. What the fuck? Who did this to her? Her silence is scaring me, but the void I notice in her eyes right now, her body being completely frigid, it is the same as I used to see in her before I knew about Khaldun. But I’m damn sure he’s not here right now. I can’t feel him at all.
I don’t probe about the marks, as she looks devastated right now. I take out the hair dryer and start drying her hair. She closes her eyes at my touch, as I pass my fingers gently through her silken hair. After a few minutes of drying, I take her down from the vanity and put her feet gently on the ground. I hold her hand and take her out of the washroom.
Before leaving, she stops by the vanity mirror and looks at herself, speechless, for a few minutes. She draws herself closer to the mirror and slides her robe from her shoulder. She looks at the mark on her collarbone and blinks at it. All of a sudden, she opens up the side drawer and takes out her manicure kit. What is she doing? She takes out the stainless steel nail file and starts rubbing on her skin. She does it so quickly that it takes me a minute to absorb what she’s doing. She rubs it over her skin so harshly that it starts dripping blood.
“Rania?” I hold her hand tightly. “What are you doing? You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“No no…I am cleaning myself.” She speaks so mildly that it scares the shit out of me. “I’m dirty right now. I need to be clean, Adam. I will be fine.” Oh my God, she has lost her mind. Even after I take the nail file from her, she rubs her nails against her skin. “I need to be clean. I’m dirty all over. I need to wash away all my stains.” That calmness is frightening me like hell.
“It’s okay, Rania. Come on, let’s go to sleep. We can do this tomorrow.” I grab her by the wrist.
“No, Adam.” She smiles and shakes her head, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “Can’t you see I’m disheveled and all filthy right now? And I know you always like a clean and immaculate Rania. You don’t want a dirty woman, right?” She takes off her robe. “See, I am dirty all over. Every part of my body is pouring disgust.”
I pick up her robe. “Baby, let’s go to sleep.”
As I try to put the robe back on her, she jerks from my arms and pulls away from me. “No, Adam. Don’t touch me. I don’t want to dirty you with my impurity. You are a very nice man. Don’t prepare your hell for me. Please, let me clean myself.” She turns her head everywhere, trying to look for something.
My heart starts to pump hard, seeing her like this. I can’t even dare ask her who was here. I know someone has played a really disgusting joke on her and, because of the note in my handwriting, she thought it was me who would entertain her in the shower. But what I don’t understand is how she allowed someone to come so close to her. My apartment is a secure place. Except for us, I don’t think anyone could sneak in. She opens the drawer again and rummages through it, looking desperately for something. Finally she takes out the lighter. I gape at her in shock.
“Give it to me, Rania. What the hell are you doing?”
“No, stay away, Adam. I am cleaning myself. I would rather burn and be clean here, then burning in Hell.”
“Stop this nonsense and give that damn lighter to me,” I shout at her.
Tears start trickling from her eyes. “No, Adam. My hell is already prepared. I am doomed forever. I betrayed you. And this sin is not even forgivable by God. He will never forgive me. I will burn in Hell forever.”
“No, baby. You are mine. I know you can’t betray me.” I have no clue what she’s talking about.
“I did, Adam. I did. I gave him my soul. I let him make love to me. I thought it was you, your voice, your writing, although not your warmth. I felt it wasn’t your touch; still, I blindfolded myself and let him enjoy himself through my body.” She starts scratching her face harshly, as if her own beauty disgusts her. “I’m impure and filthy now. You will never love me. This beauty is a curse for me. Let me take it away from my body so that no one can ever come close to me.” She starts pulling her hair like a madwoman. I hold her tightly in my arms.
“Stop it, Rania. Please, keep your senses. I can never stop loving you. Forget whatever happened. I swear I‘ll never question you about it.” I draw her closer to me, and she bursts into tears.
“Help me, Adam.” Her tears flow freely now; she can’t find any way to stop them. “Why didn’t I realize it wasn’t you? Why it didn’t occur to me even once that he could be Khaldun?” Shit! That asshole fucked her?
I pull her away and look into her eyes. “What are you saying?”
“When I came into the washroom, the shower was running and this note was here with the blindfold. It’s your writing. I’m sure it is.”
“Yes, my love, it is.”
“But you didn’t write it?” Her eyes plead for mercy.
“It’s okay. You were mistaken. You were tricked.”
“Why didn’t I realize, when he wrapped his arms around me? I felt he was cold, but his voice was yours. Adam, I…” She shakes her head in disgust.
“He is the one who is going to Hell. Not you, okay? He tricked you and misused you.” I give her a promise. I try to be calm and composed as much as I can, but inside, there is an inferno burning in me.
“I let him enter inside me. I let him enjoy my wetness. He watched my orgasm. How could I do that? I betrayed you, Adam. I only realized that he was not you when he said Kiya’s name. I didn’t have the courage to take my blindfold off and look at him.”
I really don’t want to hear what he’s done to her, but it’s very important for her to let out her emotions. Otherwise, this feeling will kill her from inside. My heart starts to crumble but I hold her tightly in my arms. God! Could it be worse than this? Why does life always destroy her emotionally? What kind of fate was she born with?
I take her out of the washroom and put on her night clothes. She sinks into silence again, a kind of muteness which is killing me. There is no way I can help her with this. I can’t call that bastard and kill him, because I have no power to communicate or fight with him. Sleep is very important for her right now, and other than comforting her, giving her my undeniable love and keeping her in my arms, there’s nothing else I can do. I take out one of the sleeping pills that she used to take during her nightmares, and give it to her with water. She doesn’t complain—maybe she wants to forget everything too. And this is worse than the nightmare.
After gulping her pill, she lies down on the bed and I wrap my arms around her. She rests her head on my chest, and I’m sure she is able to hear my pounding heartbeat. I hold her closer to me so she doesn’t feel alone. I want to make her feel that I’m close to her all the time. After this, I can’t imagine how she would ever be able to handle the shock that Jibran is still alive. No, she can’t ever know. I will hold her with me and use all my money and power to protect her. But for this, who do
I complain to? What should I say? A fucking Jinni raped my wife? Is there any law existing in this Universe which can scourge him for his act?
Finally, after ten minutes, she falls into a deep sleep, her tears falling slowly on my chest, as she breathes in low rumbles of mourning. Making sure she is fully dosed, I slip out from under her warm body and place her head gently on the pillow. She is lethargic, her body completely limp from the medicine.
I walk out of the room and head toward the terrace. It is midnight, the magnificent skyline showing Toronto at its best, glittering in the dark. I head to the bar, the warm June breeze filling the night. I prepare a glass of whiskey and stare at it. It just doesn’t feel right. It’s wrong, dammit.
I throw the glass on the floor and scream in my loudest voice. “Screw you…” I shatter the bottles of whiskey, rum, and everything else one by one, taking out my anger on them. There is nothing else I can do.
“Come down, you motherfucker, and fight with me man to man.” I don’t even know why I’m looking at the sky, talking to Khaldun. Why would he listen to my voice, when he only appears to Rania?
“I curse you, Khaldun, curse you from the depths of my heart and soul: that you don’t find any place to breathe, neither on this Earth, nor in Hell. I curse you that you never find peace anywhere, no matter how much you beg God for it. What you have done, you will pay for eternity. You will burn in this life and your afterlife forever. I anathematize you for divine punishment. The tears, the wound that you have marked on her soul, I imprecate that you will burn forever in your own pride and disgust, and there will be no single piece of this land where you can find comfort.” I throw another bottle on the concrete.
A thunderclap breaks my yelling.
“Yeah, yeah! You can only sit and watch the drama. Be a spectator and clap at our misery.” I speak out angrily to God. “Will you just observe, or do something about it?” The sky responds with another growl. “That’s it? That’s all Your bloody powers are? You hold everything in Your hand and You couldn’t stop a fucking Jinni from torturing my wife? You didn’t have the guts to control his mind and make him stop right there? What wrong has she done to You? She worships You, she has complete faith in You, and what did You give her in return? Only pain?”
A Prayer Heeded Page 26
