“Can you turn back time? Can you bring her back to me?” I ask curtly. I know it’s a stupid question to ask. Why does he need my damn apology, when my own life is on the verge of breaking?
“You know I cannot turn back time.” He sounds remorseful.
“Then your apology is not accepted, Khaldun. Burn forever—like I will, without her.” I can feel disgust in my own words.
“Adam, please, have mercy on me.” He still doesn’t stop.
“Bring her to me. I don’t care how you do it. Either, you fight with the angel of death or knock at Heaven’s door, just bring her back to me and I’ll forgive you.” I am literally bargaining for her life, with his apology. Can he really do it? Of course not. I’m just playing foul games with my mind. No one can bring back life, once it is gone. No, she is not gone. She is still breathing.
“Knocking at Heaven’s door?” He chuckles as he repeats my words. “Only you can do that, Adam. You are the only one who can bring her back. Why do you need my power?”
I look at him quizzically. “You know, Adam Gibson, this woman was written in your fate since the very beginning. When you made your first donation in the name of Hope, Allah chose her for you. He opened the gates of Heaven for you. Almost six years ago, He let her live, even after she lost her child. Of all the cities of the world, her father sent her here, to the place where you live.” I listen to him quietly. His words are making sense now. I know she is meant to be mine.
“Your curse has doomed me. Your prayer changes fates, Adam Gibson. You know why? Because of the heavenly virtues you have in your soul, He listens to what your heart desires. He listens to your every silent prayer, even if it is a curse for others. He makes sure your every little prayer is heeded. You wanted perfection, and you know He gave you this perfect, immaculate beauty. You should know that women of this kind don’t land on Earth. This kind of beauty is kept for the residents of Heaven, and He gave you the flavor of Heaven on earth.” I read his eyes. “And that is because you make use of your wealth like no one else does. People are fed on your money. Charity and humanity is the act which is most appreciated by Allah. More than His worship. He doesn’t need humans worshipping Him all the time. He has millions of angels to do that job. What He wants from you humans is to live like humans—feel each other’s pain. And that’s what you did. He likes your kindness to others, so He makes sure you get everything your heart desires. It’s like Heaven. You are given Heaven already, Adam Gibson. Just pray in your heart for her, call out to Allah one more time and see the magic. Talk to her, and she’ll fight. Only your prayer can change her fate, Adam. Not my powers.”
Somehow, his words start to move my heart. Is it true? Is He going to listen to me? I look toward Rania for a while, and when I turn around to talk to Khaldun, there is nothing but an empty space. He is already gone.
I sit beside her, watching my love failing. I pick up her hand, which is linked to several machines, and kiss it gently. Tears travel from my eyes in a melancholic passage, to fall on her swollen skin.
“Please wake up, Rania.” I give her a gentle kiss on her lips, cautiously drawing myself close to her, so I don’t disrupt anything. “I know you can hear me, my love. Please wake up for me. I can’t live without you. If you go, I swear I’ll follow you, but please stay. I want to live with you. I want you to live for our child. You’re carrying our baby, Rania. I want to see the day when we both hold her in our arms.” I kiss her hand one more time. “Yes, I know she’s a girl. I can feel it. She’ll be just like you, showered in pure beauty and innocence. I want to see my daughter, Rania. I want to see the day when we hold her by her hands and teach her how to walk. I want to see her going to school.” My tears don’t halt, as I express my feelings for her. They’re finding their own way to touch her. “We’ll name her Sarah. We will watch her grow into a beautiful girl, just like you. We’ll cry together in happiness when she gets married. We’ll watch our grandchildren play in our house when they come home for vacations. You’ll cook them great food while I spoil them rotten. I want to experience all this with you, Rania. I want to grow old with you. Please wake up, my love.”
I hear her heart rate from the electrocardiogram, her cardiac rhythm showing repetitive patterns as she starts to breathe harder. I push the emergency buzzer to call for the doctor, as I see her struggling with her breath. A male doctor comes rushing in, watching the heart monitor keenly.
“What’s wrong, Doctor?” His silence is killing me. He stays quiet, reading the waveforms, and checks something on the ventilator monitor. He removes the tube from her mouth and punches a few more buttons over the screen. Now, the smile on his face tells me that it’s good news.
“Congratulations, Mr. Gibson. It seems like a miracle. She is able to breathe on her own now. She doesn’t need any respiratory support.” He touches multicolored buttons, lights changing and flickering on different machines. He scoots the ultrasound machine over and begins punching buttons on it. Then he pulls out the transducer probe and lifts the sheets off of Rania. He applies a gel and places the probe on different parts of her lower abdomen, his eyes keenly focused on the machine.
In an instant, I hear a sound like low drumbeats. “You hear that, Mr. Gibson?” He keeps on moving the probe over her abdomen. “That’s the sound of your baby’s heartbeat.” His words bring joy into this small room. The heartbeat echoes back from the walls, creating life in me, bringing my soul back, which I thought I was losing with her.
Rania’s eyes flutter; perhaps the sound of her baby has awakened her. I hold her hand tightly and kiss her lips gently when she smiles at me innocently. The same smile that stole my heart when we danced together the first time. “Thank you so much for fighting back, my love.” I keep kissing her face, not holding back my emotions. She looks at the doctor in concern, wondering what he is doing with her abdomen. “You hear that sound, Rania? It’s our baby’s heart beating.” She gapes at me, and then sees the doctor smiling at her.
“Congratulations, Mrs. Gibson. Even after all the trauma, your little one was able to survive.” Rania keeps on listening to the sound, and her grip on me tightens.
“Am I…” She is unable to say anything more. Tears cloud her swollen, black eyes, and as they travel from her crimson splotches, it is not possible for her to hold on to her emotions. I’m sure she is not able to contain the joy.
“Yes, my love. You are going to have a baby, our baby.” I kiss her lips tenderly; her body resonates with my touch. Even if she is in pain, she can feel me wholeheartedly.
“I guess I should leave you two alone,” the doctor interrupts, giving us an impish smile.
As soon as he shuts the door behind him, I lift my body and find a space to snuggle in beside my wife. I keep my hand gently on her tummy. “Thank you so much for such a lovely present.” I kiss on her cheek and she blushes in return. God! She looks pretty, even in a hospital bed. “I’m going to take care of both of you, I promise.” I keep kissing her face, not giving her enough time to grasp my feelings. I’m sure it’s overwhelming for her right now, my heart jumping on her and the news of the baby.
“Khaldun saved me, Adam,” she says hesitantly. I pull away from her and look at her with concern. “He is yearning for your apology. I would have died if he hadn’t given them the shock of his presence.” She averts her gaze and looks toward the door. “They killed each other in fear. They were not expecting that this could be true. When he saw me dying on the floor, he kept shouting at me, No, Rania, you cannot die, Adam will never forgive me if anything happens to you. I will be doomed forever. You need to live. Those were the last words I heard before everything around me was gone, before I closed my eyes.” She takes a deep breath. “It’s over now, Adam. He wants to repent, so let him do it. Forgive him.”
I listen to her quietly, wondering why he didn’t mention all this to me. Yes, he came to me to apologize but I gave him the cold shoulder. I didn’t believe him when he told me that he tried to save her. But hearing it f
rom her mouth confirms that what he said was true. He did save her, and moreover, killed both of her tormentors. He didn’t want me to hold any grudge against anyone, anymore. Khaldun knew I would make their lives miserable if they had been alive. He knew I would make both of them beg for mercy, beg for death, which could have made me more vindictive. He made my life easier for me, cleared away all the dirt that was blocking my ability to stay on the right path. He didn’t act like a demon; he played the role of a guardian angel.
Her eyes are watching me, waiting for my response. “I forgive him.” That’s all I can say.
I don’t care about anything more now. The woman who showed me the right path, the woman who taught me to forgive others rather than seeking revenge, the woman who was sent to me by God, as a gift in return for my charity—I don’t need anything more than her in my life. God gave me what I desired; He kept a piece of Heaven for me on Earth, so I can enjoy, savor and feel blessed till my last breath.
He answered my every silent prayer.
A FEW YEARS LATER…
♂
It’s mid-October. I stand under the warm sun, outside an old chapel in the northern part of Quebec. The chapel is surrounded by huge trees, embellished with orange and red leaves all around. Today, I’m here for my sister’s wedding. Of all the places in Canada, she wanted to take her vows in one of the oldest chapels in Quebec. It was a sight to see: my sister getting married to my wife’s best friend. Yes, Mike Dynham.
Almost five years ago, Rania hit me with the news that my baby sister and Mike were secretly dating. I had always been finicky where my sister was concerned, and when hearing that Mike was in her life, I was totally taken off guard. Never had I thought I would interview Mike before he proposed to my sister. Never had I imagined I would actually question him about whether he promised to keep my sister happy for the rest of her life. I never realized how he would feel when I warned him that if I ever see a tear in her eye, I will beat the shit out of him. That’s how he warned me too, when I married the love of my life.
After four years of hardship, Eva finally said ‘yes’ to Mike. I never thought Mike was that serious about her. I knew he was madly in love with Rania, and would probably want to trade places with me, but then, who doesn’t? I’m married to the most beautiful woman that has probably ever existed—at least to me. He watched her grow from a young girl into a beautiful woman. He watched through her every step of her life, and I totally wouldn’t blame him if he was in love before he even knew the meaning of that word. But I’m glad he moved on, taking his eyes from my wife.
Rania—a priceless gift that I have attained from God in exchange for my charity. He bestowed His true blessings on me, through her. I never thought I would walk on a path where I would find God, and she was the one who laid the red carpet for me to walk on that path. After meeting her, I never looked at any other woman. The path of rectitude that she made me walk with her innocence has led me to a world of more blessings from Him. I learned how to forgive, I learned to let go cruel thoughts from my mind, I learned to repent.
No one is born a sinner, but since a human is a magnet for sin, as we grow, we fill our heart and soul with an immeasurable number of sins that we don’t even recognize. If, like us, God started to punish us for our sins and showed His wrath, I don’t think any of us would survive. But He is the most compassionate being, Who delays our impending punishments and overlooks the sins which we commit in our daily lives. Lies, false behavior, betrayal, breaking hearts, we commit these sins on an almost daily basis, and we never give a thought to the fact that if He starts to hold each of us accountable for our sins, then we would all be living in Hell.
The act of forgiveness: that’s what He teaches us through His words. But when someone does wrong to us, we rarely opt for mitigation and forgiveness. By human nature, we make sure the other person feels as much pain as we endured through our enemy’s act. God has allowed us to take revenge, but we don’t realize that we are incapable of dispensing justice. Like He has said: “We prescribed for them a life for a life, an eye for an eye, a nose for a nose, an ear for an ear, a tooth for a tooth, an equal wound for a wound: if anyone forgoes this out of charity, it will serve as atonement for his bad deeds. Those who do not judge according to what God has revealed are doing grave wrong.” (Al-Quran – 5:45) And then we don’t know how far we go in our vengeance. At the end, it will be us who will be questioned.
That’s what happened to me too. When my mother left me in my childhood, I hated her all my life. I never thought that she might have had her own reasons. Rania held up a mirror to me and introduced me to my own reflection, which was an ugly demon. She taught me to let go of the demon within me. A man is prone to mistakes and injustice, and that’s what I did. I didn’t know taking revenge against Ethan Murray would almost cost me Rania’s life. When I burned him in my grievance, I didn’t realize I was burning her too. I know, in my wrath, I didn’t give justice. And after that, I created a demon in Khaldun. What he did to me and to Rania was the counter effect of my act.
Now that I have learned to forgive, they don’t bother us anymore. We are living in our separate worlds, hidden from each other—the way God intended. I never believed in God before, never thought that the path I walked would introduce me to hidden creatures, never imagined that the same path would introduce me to the world of passion, love and ecstasy. Yes, I truly found her on the path that led me to God. If I hadn’t taken the step toward Him, he would never have bestowed me with Rania as a blessing. Her presence, her smile, her innocence, everything captivates me. Even after six years of marriage, I still melt at the way she looks at me. I still feel her strings of passion being woven around me, and I doubt if it will ever be enough for me.
After I saw her the first time, I thought I would never fall in love again. But then, she gave me a precious little gift—my daughter, Sarah. I fell in love with my child the moment I held her in my arms—the most delightful feeling a man can have. She carries the same beauty, innocence and purity as her mother. Not a single day passes that I don’t thank God for sending such a cute angel into my lap, to play with and cherish. The way she tugs my legs when I come home after work, the way she demands for me to feed her at dinnertime, the way she asks me for a bedtime story—each day is miraculous as I see her grow in front of my eyes. She is now four years old, a little angel in my life who keeps on casting her innocent spell in her own way—just like her mommy.
I wait outside in the parking lot of the chapel, waiting for my beautiful wife to exchange goodbyes with the bride and groom. The wind is blowing in crazy directions, scattering the autumn leaves everywhere. I watch my daughter playing in the garden, picking up different colors of maple leaves, segregating them into yellow, orange, red and brown. She looks up at me with her black eyes and comes rushing over to me.
“Daddy, when is mommy coming? I wanna go home,” she asks me in her own implacable manner.
I smile at her innocence. “Mommy needs to say goodbye to everyone. Did you say goodbye to Uncle Mike and Aunt Eva?”
She pulls me down by my tie, which forces me to kneel on the ground. She draws her lips close to my ear. “Uncle Mike gave me some candies,” she whispers. “Don’t tell Mommy, okay?” I give her a kiss on her cheek.
She opens her little glittery purse that she has been carrying all morning, and shows me her candies. “Are you going to eat all of them?” I ask her in surprise.
“No…there is one for you, Daddy, one for Mommy and three for my friends over there.” She lifts her arm and points toward the woods. I follow her arm’s direction, but I only see a few trees with old wooden swings tied to them. They move swiftly with the wind.
I smile at her, wondering if she met someone during the wedding ceremony. “Can I go there and share my candies with my friends, Daddy? They are calling me to play.” She looks in the same direction, toward the barren trees with empty swings.
“Your friends are gone, sweetheart. There’s no one there.” I
pass my fingers gently through her soft hair. “Come, sit in the car.”
“No, Daddy, they’re still here. See…Isis is sitting over there. She’s calling me, Daddy.” She starts pulling my arm to follow her.
I watch the wooden swing moving in a continuous motion and realize, it’s not the wind that is blowing it. There is someone using it, someone I can’t see. Shit! Can Sarah see them?
“What are your friends’ names, Sarah? Can you introduce me to your friends?” My heart is skipping inside me, but I want to know what my daughter is capable of.
“Come, Daddy.” She pulls my arm with full force and I follow her blindly. When we reach the old trees, I feel the heaviness in the air, the same feeling that I used to encounter when Khaldun was around. Shit! She’s not making it up. “Daddy, this is Isis.” She gestures toward the swing. “This is Nuru.” She waves toward the old tree. “And this is Heru.” She points toward the scattered leaves, just beside her. She calls out the ancient Egyptian names, which I’m sure she has never heard. “Friends, this is my daddy.” She smiles with pride, her innocence pouring from her eyes.
I hold my breath for a while, looking around. No, this should not happen. She should not have this power. “Daddy, say hello to my friends.” The swing stops suddenly when my daughter’s voice slits my thoughts.
I have no other option than to look at the empty swing and say hello. “Daddy, my friends want to come home too and see my room. Shall I invite them?”
I have no answer to her question, do I?
A Prayer Heeded Page 30
