“Will you at least let me be there with you when you do it?” Logan requested in a not-too-happy voice.
“Of course, but it’s going to be crowded in there. Cassie, Brent and Mitchell all demanded the same thing,” Jacyn chuckled.
“I just hope the risk is worth it,” Logan replied as he exchanged anxious glances with Cassie.
Chapter Seventeen
Two days later, Jacyn found himself sitting on his bed, surrounded by his family, Logan and Doc Featherstone. The room was dim, a CD of light rhythmic drums was playing and the air was rich with the scent of burnt sage. While it should have been relaxing, he was more jacked up than ever before.
It didn’t help that the mood had been tense before they had even started. For the past couple of days, everyone had been in a mood because of how their last mission had turned out.
What was supposed to have been a raid on a warehouse full of weapons had been a massive failure. When the felines arrived there, all they had found was an empty building. There was nothing, not even a shred of paper to indicate that the terrorists or the Ravens had been there.
Mitchell suspected someone from the human government had tipped them off and Jacyn was inclined to agree with him. The question was who was selling out not only the shifters, but their own nation? First the mystery about the lost shifters and now this. More questions. More dead-ends when it came to answers. Jacyn could see the strain of all this weighing heavily on Mitchell. This was why it was so important for Jacyn to go through with this.
“You need to relax or this may never work,” the doctor admonished as he knelt by the bed.
“I am,” Jacyn argued even though he had his hands clutched into tight fists.
“Are you afraid of remembering?” the doctor asked, his gaze searching Jacyn’s face.
“He saw his parents murdered,” Logan snapped. “Call me crazy, but I don’t think anyone would want to relive that.”
“It’s okay, I can do this,” Jacyn said, although he wasn’t certain if he was giving the pep talk to himself or Logan.
“Of course you can,” Logan soothed, all his anger gone. He got into the bed, too, positioning them until Jacyn’s back was to his chest. “Here, lie back against me and I’ll hold you through the entire thing. That way you won’t feel like you’re in there alone.”
“Thanks.” Jacyn felt some of the tension leave as Logan’s strong arms wrapped around him.
The doctor held a large coffee cup under Jacyn’s nose and ordered, “Drink!”
Jacyn inhaled the content’s scent and nearly gagged at the rancid smell. “Jesus!”
“No…Featherstone.” The doctor didn’t even crack a smile as he pointed to his name badge.
Jacyn started to explain, but decided it wasn’t worth the breath. Instead, he took the mug and brought it to his lips. Sipping it, he gagged at the taste. He brought the cup back down, but the doctor grabbed his wrist and made him bring it back up. Forcing the mug to his lips, Featherstone tilted it so Jacyn had no choice but to drink or he would have choked.
It was so foul tasting, like a mixture of fermented mushrooms, tree bark and rotten cheese. Jacyn bucked as his stomach heaved, but the bastard who dared to call himself a caring physician still kept tilting that damn cup. It wasn’t until every drop was gone that he took it away.
“Bastard,” Jacyn gasped out as he gagged. His stomach turned and twisted, demanding he throw up, but he gritted his teeth together and refused. He had no doubt that if he upchucked the concoction, Doc would just make him drink another one.
“Does it really taste that bad?” Brent asked, eyeing up the empty mug as if it was a snake.
“Tastes like—” Jacyn gagged again. “Like shit.”
“No, it’s a mixture of herbs, mushrooms and some other stuff. There’s no excrement in it.” Doc set down the mug and studied Jacyn.
“How long before we know if it worked or not?” Mitchell asked. His voice was slow and blurry sounding.
“It already is,” Doc responded, sounding like he was in a long tunnel
“Nonsense!” Jacyn slurred that word and, for some insane reason, it made him giggle. “I shouldn’t feel anything yet. It’s too soon.”
The room started to do slow rotations and the music became louder, the drums lulling him into a daze. A slow tingle spread out to every inch of his body and he felt himself relax as he just gave into it. He felt as if he was on the ledge of a cliff and his foot was on the edge. The urge to step off was so strong. In the distance, he could hear voices calling to him—that of his mother and father. Somehow he knew if he took that step, he would be able to get closer to them. Did he dare? He hesitated, just for one second before he moved forward and let himself fall into the abyss.
* * * *
Logan knew the instant Jacyn had gone into the trance. The man sucked in a deep breath and then his body went limp. Logan put a hand on his chest, alarmed to find his heart had slowed to a near stop and his respirations were shallow and far apart. “What’s going on with him?” he nearly yelled at Doc.
“It’s okay.” Featherstone didn’t appear concerned at all. “He’s just entering the dream walk.”
“Are you sure?” Mitchell stepped closer, his face lined with worry. “He doesn’t look so good.”
“He better be sure,” Logan growled as he held Jacyn tighter. Fear slammed into him when he felt how cold and clammy the man’s skin was.
Jacyn let out a heaving breath and his lids fluttered open. His eyes rolled back, showing only the whites.
Cassie let out a sob as she put her hand to her mouth.
“Jacyn, I need you to think about that night,” Doc ordered in a slow, hypnotic voice. “Go back there and tell me what you see.”
For a while, Logan didn’t think Jacyn had heard the question. Then the jaguar let out a low moan and whispered, “Already there.”
“What’s happening?”
“I’m in Mom’s bedroom.” He smiled faintly. “I had a nightmare and she let me come in with her and Dad.”
“Where’s your father?”
Jacyn’s brow crinkled at that question and Logan could feel his heart thump harder.
“He’s out in the living room with Mitchell. But they should be running because they’re coming.” Jacyn hitched in another breath.
“Who’s coming?” Doc relented.
“The black birds. It’s too late, they’re already there and they’ve attacked Dad. I can hear him yelling for us to run.”
“Where did you run to?”
“I didn’t. I was too scared. I just wanted to be with Mom,” Jacyn sobbed.
Logan hugged him harder and placed a kiss on his sweaty temple.
“But you weren’t safe there, were you?”
“No.” Jacyn violently shook his head. “They came in…oh God, they had swords that were covered with blood. Mitchell and Dad’s blood. I could hear Cassie and the others screaming. Mom tried to fight them off, but there were so many. They…they…killed her.”
“But you got out. How?”
“There were other birds there, different ones. They were supposed to kill me, but instead they took me away.” Jacyn’s entire body jerked as his head snapped to the side.
“What type of birds?” Doc’s face grew concerned as he grabbed Jacyn’s wrist to check his pulse.
“Don’t know.” Jacyn jerked again. “Big. Pretty.”
His body arched up as a guttural yell burst from his lips. Taking in one last deep breath, he uttered, “Hawks.” Then he went still. Logan cried out in alarm as he felt Jacyn’s heart flutter, then stop all together.
“What’s happening?” Cassie screamed.
“He’s being sucked into the spirit realm,” the doctor said as he sprang to his feet and started to slap Jacyn on the cheeks. “Come on. Don’t do this.”
“Do something,” Mitchell yelled as he stepped forward.
Even though he directed the order at Doc, Logan decided to spring into action. Kiss
ing Jacyn’s temple again, he cooed in his ear, “Come back to me, babe. You know how much I need you. Don’t leave me alone.”
Jacyn remained limp and unresponsive—Cassie’s sobs the only sound in the room. Not ready to give up yet, Logan tried again. “Wake up for me. Let me see those beautiful eyes of yours.” When Jacyn still didn’t move, Logan felt a rage of despair come over him. Instead of the soft voice, he yelled, “Damn it! We promised that we wouldn’t leave each other again! Don’t let me down!”
Still nothing. Logan lowered his head as a deep sense of hopelessness went through him. Then he felt it. A soft thump in Jacyn’s chest that let him know the man’s heart was beating again. Then there was a gentle rise of his chest as he started breathing. Logan jerked back up, a thrill of hope making him let out a short bark of laughter. “That’s it, babe. Fight your way back to me.” Smoothing back Jacyn’s sweaty hair, he placed another kiss on his brow. “You’re doing great.”
Brent, Cassie and Mitchell pressed closer. “Is he going to be okay?” Mitchell asked in a shaky voice.
“Yes,” Doc informed with a deep sigh.
Jacyn opened his eyes, his gaze locking on to Logan. “Did I do good?” he whispered.
“You did great.” Logan held him tight, relieved so much, tears threatened to spill from his eyes. “Just promise me you’ll never do something like that again.”
* * * *
Jacyn woke up to the pleasant sensation of being in Logan’s arms. Unfortunately, that was the only pleasant thing. His head felt like it had been used as a punching bag. His stomach was rolling with nausea and there was a god-awful taste in his mouth. He sat up, groaning when his head protested the sudden movement.
Logan came instantly awake. “How are you feeling?” he asked in a sleepy voice.
Since he knew it was useless to try to get away with lying, he said, “I feel like hell.”
“Do you think you can walk?” Logan rubbed Jacyn’s back.
“If I have to.” He closed his eyes, enjoying the impromptu massage.
“I’m afraid you do. Mitchell and Rat have some pictures of known Hawk shifters that they want you to look at.”
Jacyn groaned. “Okay, just give me a second to brush my teeth. My mouth tastes like I was gnawing on garbage.”
Logan nodded.
Jacyn got up, wobbling because his legs felt like they were made from springs. Walking carefully, he managed to get to the bathroom. Once he was done, he went back out to where Logan was waiting. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”
Since he was tired and weak, it seemed to him that it took forever to get to the communications room. A couple of times he stumbled, but Logan was there every time to help steady him. By the time they got there, Jacyn was shaking from fatigue and he just wanted to lie down in bed again.
“It will only take a few moments then you can go back to sleep,” Logan promised, as if he sensed what Jacyn was feeling.
Mitchell came running over and directed Jacyn to a chair. He sat in it, trying hard to ignore the looks of concern Brent, Rat and Cassie were shooting him. Mitchell gave him a squeeze on the shoulder.
“Thanks to you we think we may have our first real solid lead,” the leader said, with more than a hint of pride. Pointing to one of the monitors, he asked, “Does this guy look familiar to you?”
Jacyn glanced over and felt a sharp jolt of recognition. The man’s dark hair was shorter than he remembered, but his black piercing eyes were the same. “That’s the one who took me away from the house.” The words started to tumble from Jacyn’s lips as he began to recall everything perfectly. It was as if someone turned the key to a door and opened the portal to his past. “He had some other hawk shifters with him and they were under orders from the Ravens to kill all the survivors. But the Hawks couldn’t stomach killing kids so they snuck us away and blew up the houses to hide what they did.”
“Do you know where they took all the other children?” Mitchell asked, hopeful.
“No,” Jacyn admitted as he felt defeat. “They separated us right away. I think they were afraid a big group of us clustered together would attract too much attention. I was with a female for a while before she cleaned my memory and put me with humans.”
“What do you mean cleaned your memory?” Brent shook his head in confusion. “How did she do that?”
“I’ve heard of shifters being able to do that,” Rat interjected. “I just thought it was a myth though.”
“It makes sense though,” Mitchell mused. “It would explain why some of the older shifters haven’t voluntarily come back to us.”
“So what’s our next move?” Logan asked as he came up behind Jacyn and put his hands on his shoulders.
“We need to find him.” Mitchell pointed to the monitor.
“Good luck,” Rat snorted. “This guy has gone way underground. Nobody has heard from him in years.”
“What’s his name?” Brent queried in a soft voice as he stared at the monitor, intently.
“He was known as Daniel Morris, but who knows what he goes by now.” Rat shrugged.
“I’ll find him,” Brent announced.
“I don’t know,” Mitchell hedged. “Maybe I should go on this one.”
“No,” Brent shook his head, his gaze still locked on the picture. “You have enough to worry about with the human side of this operation leaking like a sieve. Let me worry about tracking down the hawk.”
For a second, it looked like Mitchell was going to keep arguing, but he finally nodded in agreement. “Just make sure you’re careful. While they did rescue some of our kids, the Hawks have always been on the other side of this war. So he could attack you if he knows you’re on to him.”
“Understood.” Brent stared at the monitor, the funniest look on his face.
Jacyn couldn’t be sure, but he would have almost sworn it was interest and attraction. He leaned back in the chair so he was closer to Logan’s body. Even as he took comfort in his mate’s presence, a small nagging part of him knew that they were in for hard times.
Before the felines won this war, there would be more deaths. Jacyn only hoped it wasn’t those he loved. Closing his eyes, he did something he’d never done before. He prayed.
About the Author
Stephani Hecht is a happily married mother of two. You can usually find her snuggled up to her laptop, creating her next book.
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