by Julie Cannon
The descriptor was no sooner out of Lane’s mouth when Kyle made the connection and realized that was exactly the ambiance they were sharing now. Only this table was covered with a thick white cloth and Wedgwood china. Their glasses were filled with good wine, and coffee would be served in delicate cups, not the industrial coffee mugs at Lane’s restaurant.
Lane melted into the laughing eyes across from her and pulled herself back. It wouldn’t be smart to get too far involved until she had a better idea of where, if anywhere, they might go. “What if it were coffee at your breakfast table?” Kyle was not talking about one of the tables in The SandPiper, and from the candor in Lane’s eyes, she knew it, too.
“Detective, I don’t do the rubber hose on the first date.”
The air around them filled with Kyle’s laughter. “Well, I guess that takes all the awkwardness out of the good night kiss.”
Their meals arrived, offering a temporary respite just as Kyle felt her pulse jumping erratically and her skin prickling with awareness. Dinner was delicious and included thick steaks, red wine, and lots of laughter. Kyle enjoyed the fact that Lane was a hearty eater, unlike many of the women she dated who were afraid to gain an ounce. She was also warm, witty, and intelligent. And don’t forget gorgeous. She had a unique, almost reverent way of looking at life.
Part way through their meal, she asked Kyle, “What is the one thing that you are the most passionate about Kyle?”
Kyle’s first instinct was to say that nothing mattered to her more than Hollie but she didn’t. “Passionate? Hmm, let me think. Other than my life and my family, which is a given, I’d say my job.”
Lane looked at her as if to ask, “Really?”
“What, you don’t believe me?”
“Why, do I have a reason not to?” Lane asked knowing she didn’t but enjoyed teasing Kyle. She hadn’t flirted with someone in a long time, and she had forgotten how fun it was.
Kyle put her hand over her heart in mock indignation. “I’m crushed. You think I’m full of bullshit.”
“Trust me Detective, I do think you can be full of bullshit. That’s how you’re successful, bluffing some of the time. It’s part of your job. Am I right?”
She was teasing but her voice held a distinct edge. Kyle didn’t know the details about her breakup with her girlfriend, but it was obvious Lane had been deeply hurt. Wanting Lane to know she could trust her, she said, “Yes, bluffing is oftentimes part of the deal. But I’d never bullshit you. I’ll lie about birthday presents and Christmas gifts, but I’ll never lie to you.”
Kyle’s seriousness took Lane a little by surprise. Her eyes were grave, and an insistence in her tone gave the impression that she was trying to make a point. Lane wasn’t sure how she could be so certain, but their conversation over dinner had cemented her belief that Kyle was an honest, decent woman.
After the waiter cleared their dishes, Lane thumbed through the dessert menu, trying to decide if she really wanted to eat more, or if she was simply making their evening last longer. Once she’d stopped feeling nervous, she’d enjoyed their time together even more than she’d expected.
Kyle sat back in her chair, her arms folded across her chest. “You can’t actually have room for dessert?”
“My mom has a favorite saying that I learned at a very young age. ‘There’s always room for dessert.’” She closed the menu. “I’ll have the cheesecake.” She flashed Kyle a look as if to say, “Want to make something of it?”
Kyle shook her head emphatically. “I wouldn’t dream of standing between a gorgeous woman and her dessert.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“The part where I’ll let you have your dessert, or the fact that I think you’re a beautiful woman?” Lane blushed at her compliment which surprised Kyle. She thought Lane would have heard this all the time. “Don’t you believe that you are?”
“Now how am I supposed to answer that?”
Kyle replied softly. “Just say thank you.”
The candlelight flickered on Lane’s face, softening the traces of sadness that Kyle’s trained eye detected earlier. She wanted to make everything all right for Lane, and it frustrated her that she couldn’t. What she could do, however, was make sure Lane knew just how attractive she thought she was. Her beauty was more than skin deep. She had a warmth about her Kyle had noticed the first day she met her. That friendliness spilled over into her work, and Kyle had often watched in fascination how Lane interacted with her customers. She seemed to truly care about them, especially the regulars. They were more than a check, they were people she was determined to please in her place of business.
“Thank you.” Lane hesitated a few moments and then poked Kyle’s hand with her fork. “But I’m still having the cheesecake.”
Kyle laughed, releasing some of her tension as she motioned for the waitress and ordered for both of them. The restaurant’s patrons had thinned leaving the women sitting almost alone.
“You know, most people aren’t passionate about their life,” Lane said after their desserts arrived. “It’s a shame when they take so much for granted.” She didn’t want to be morose, but she couldn’t help herself.
“That’s a very insightful observation for someone who just ate her entire piece of cheesecake and half of mine as well.”
They both laughed as the waitress refilled their coffee cups.
“I see death almost every day,” Kyle said, sipping her coffee. “One minute you’re eating popcorn in your living room and the next a bullet comes through your window and you’re dead. Just like that.” She snapped her fingers to make her point. “I always say ‘I love you’ to the people that matter to me. I think most cops do. You never know when you’ll no longer have the chance.”
Kyle’s comment struck a chord with her. Her life had changed in an instant, and there was no going back. Her friends and family danced around the issue, but she faced it every time she took her clothes off. She experienced first hand how precious life was, and she cherished it every day. “So what is it about your job that drives you to do it every day?”
Kyle looked into her cup of coffee almost expecting the answer to be spelled out like the letters in alphabet soup. “It sounds kind of corny and trivial, but I think I make a difference.” Lane seemed genuinely interested, so she continued, “The families of homicide victims need closure. They need to know that the guy that ripped their life apart will be held accountable. I try to provide that for them. Simple as that.”
“I doubt if it’s as ‘simple as that,’” Lane said. She wasn’t surprised by Kyle’s understatement. The woman didn’t seem the type to brag. “What you do is real, and serious. It’s a big deal. I mean, you find people who kill other people, mothers and fathers and children. In my book, that’s definitely a go-directly-to-heaven job.”
Lane knew several cops, and she could not imagine what their lives must be like, seeing nothing but the sadness and the inhumane actions of people.
Kyle leaned back in her chair. “Cops are just people who have a job just like everybody else. We get up every day, go to a job some of us are lucky enough to love, try to do the very best that we can and hopefully come home at the end of the day to start all over again the next morning.” She realized that her tone was harsher than she had intended, yet she’d been trying to keep the conversation light.
“On the news the other day there was a lady who was arrested because she forgot her baby in the car and the kid died. How can they arrest her? Her child died, for God’s sake. She has to go to jail too?”
Kyle’s stomach jumped. She too had seen the news item and always hated stories like that. They made her job more difficult when she was coated with the broad brush stroke of simply being a cop. “She committed a crime.”
Lane was flabbergasted. “What crime? Forgetfulness? Last time I checked I didn’t think that was against the law.”
Kyle told herself to stay calm. “Child endangerment.”
“Oh for crying
out loud. The stupid lady forgot her child was in the car. If anything, she should be charged for being stupid.” Lane’s voice softened. “She’s suffered enough. She’s going to have to live with her actions for the rest of her life.”
This was one of the many things that frightened Kyle when Hollie first came home. She was not ready to be a mom, to be responsible for another human being. She was used to coming and going as she pleased, often times with little or no planning. She was terrified she would forget she was sleeping in the crib or in the back seat of her car.
“Yes, she will. People do stupid things all the time, and other people die because of it. They need to be held accountable.” Kyle knew it wasn’t as cut and dried as she made it sound.
“Accountable to whom? Society or God?”
“Yes.”
The air was thick with tension. Lane was afraid that her stance on this issue was going to end their evening on a sour note. It might even end their seeing each other before it even began.
Kyle broke the silence. “How did we get on to something so serious?”
“It wasn’t my doing, I just asked what made you tick.”
“I guess it certainly isn’t my biological clock.” Kyle relaxed when Lane finally laughed.
Kyle stood and held Lane’s chair. When she rose and moved ahead of Kyle, her perfume left a subtle trail that teased Kyle’s senses. She liked the fragrance. I love the way women smell. She was so caught up in the pleasure of Lane’s scent and the movement of her hips as she walked, that she almost ran into her when she stopped at her car.
“I had a wonderful time tonight, Kyle.” Lane took control of their parting moment, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on Kyle’s cheek. “I’d invite you over for a nightcap…”
“But you’re not the rubber hose kind of girl,” Kyle interrupted, relaxing a bit.
“No, I’m not. But with you, Detective, I could be,” Lane said as she got into her car. “But I don’t think you’re ready for that. At least not yet.” Lane drove away leaving Kyle rooted where she stood.
Kyle was still reeling from the unexpected kiss. It was the last thing she had expected, and it was over almost before she knew what was happening. Lane’s lips were soft and warm and her breath on her cheek was feather-light the instant before she kissed her. For the second time in as many days she wasn’t quite sure what just happened but she knew she wanted it to happen again.
Chapter Four
Sunday morning dawned bright and sunny, mirroring the disposition of the little girl with the warm brown eyes giggling in her mother’s arms. On the weekends, when Kyle got Hollie out of her crib, she brought her back into bed with her for snuggles and giggles. Along with bedtime, it was the time of day she treasured the most. Right now, Hollie was tickling her and Kyle was doing a good job of exaggerating her laughter, much to the delight of her daughter.
Over a breakfast of Cheerios and bananas, Kyle kept up a stream of conversation with Hollie. They talked about their plans for the day which included a trip to the La Jolla petting zoo. Kyle couldn’t remember how many times they had gone to the zoo, and she found joy and delight in the outing each and every time. It’s amazing what you see through the eyes of a child.
Kyle’s parents were waiting for them at the entrance to the zoo. Hollie wanted out of her stroller and in the arms of her grandmother the moment she saw her. Like most children her age, she adored her grandparents, and Michael and Constance Bain showed their love for her without reservation. Whether it was because she was their first grandchild, or because Hollie was their continued connection to Alison didn’t matter. Watching them delight in the unconditional love and happiness of their granddaughter made Kyle smile, but she also felt a deep sadness.
Her parents had arrived at the hospital shortly after Hollie was born. Their faces had been pressed against the nursery window when Kyle walked up and stood beside them.
Her mother had chattered about their delayed flight and how the rental car place didn’t have their reservation, and she thought they’d never get there. Rambling with excitement, she didn’t seem to notice Kyle’s subdued manner.
Kyle remembered exactly what she’d said as she tried to find the words to speak the unthinkable. “Allie was great and Hollie’s perfect. She weighs five pounds and is eighteen inches long. She’s passed all her newborn tests and other than being a little small, she’s in perfect health.” Her voice had cracked at the end of her statement.
That was when her mother finally fell silent. She looked frightened. “Kyle, what is it?”
Kyle froze, unable to find the words that she sometimes said every day. She had informed dozens of parents, children, and relatives of the death of a loved one, and she now knew exactly what they were going through. “It’s Allie. She had complications after Hollie was born.”
“What kind of complications?” Her father asked, drilling her with his eyes fighting the panic threatening to overwhelm him. He sensed there was something seriously wrong.
“She had a brain aneurysm probably brought on by the delivery,” Kyle replied dully. “She hemorrhaged in her brain and they have her on life support. The doctors say she’s probably brain dead.”
After she’d broken the news, Kyle had comforted her parents as best she could. She’d only had a few hours to accept the news herself, and it felt as if her insides had been ripped out. Allie was her sister, her twin, and now half of everything she knew of herself was gone. She hovered on the edge of blackness, not wanting to turn around and not having enough guts to step forward.
*
The Bain family strolled across the zoo grounds at a leisurely pace with Hollie perched on her grandfather’s shoulders excitedly pointing at everything. Kyle and her mother drifted along behind them.
“Kyle, is everything all right? You seem a little distant this morning.”
Her mother’s question didn’t surprise Kyle. Constance had a sixth sense when it came to her children, one that Kyle herself was developing with Hollie. The sun, and the fresh air, and the fact that she didn’t have to watch Hollie like a hawk meant she could let her mind drift. When she let her mind wander, it usually filled back up with bits and pieces of cases she was working on, the empty refrigerator, or how many diapers were left in the box. But there was no room for mundane thoughts now; her head was spinning with visions of Lane. Lane walking through the door of the restaurant, Lane chatting with guests on the patio of her restaurant, Lane laughing, her hair shining in the moonlight, the look in her eyes just before she kissed her.
“Kyle?”
Answering her mother’s question, she said, “Just thinking.”
“Anything you want to share with your old mom?”
Kyle laughed and put her arm around her mother’s shoulders. “You’ll never be old, Mom, just wiser and more astute. You know when I was younger, I always hated that in you. Allie and I could never keep anything from you whether it was good or bad, and I hated it.”
“And now?” her mother asked.
Kyle pulled her tighter. “I still hate it, but I appreciate your concern.” She watched her father try to coax a duck to come closer to where he knelt with Hollie. “He’s a great grandpa.”
Kyle’s mother smiled. “He always did have a way with the girls.” She paused. “Speaking of girls, how’s your love life?”
The change of subject made Kyle’s head spin. Her mother seldom asked for details about her personal life. She produced a non-committal answer. “It’s fine.”
“Kyle, you’re a single, attractive woman. It should be more than fine. It should be full and passionate.”
“Mom!” Kyle gave her mother a startled sidelong glance. Constance was never so direct with her.
“Oh, please. Do you think I don’t know about these kinds of things? I’m still madly in love with your father, and I don’t see why those feelings would be any different between women. Alison’s been gone for over a year now, Hollie is a wonderful, well adjusted child, Gretchen is a fab
ulous nanny and you,” she emphasized with a well manicured finger poke in Kyle’s chest, “need to get on with your life.”
God I hope I’m as good a mother to Hollie as this woman is to me. Kyle often talked to her mother about the struggles she had juggling the priorities of her career and Hollie. She had yet to be convinced that Hollie would not grow up to be an ax-murderer if she occasionally went on a date.
“I did have dinner with someone last night,” she said defensively.
Just thinking about her evening with Lane brought a smile to her face. Despite her misgivings, Kyle could not remember the last time she’d enjoyed herself so much. She’d thought about Hollie frequently at first, but when she finally relaxed about midway through the main course, Lane had held her undivided attention.
“And?”
“And it was okay.” Kyle’s answer was vague and knew it was not going to appease her mother. She was right.
“Kyle.” Constance used the same tone she had when Kyle was a child.
“All right, all right, Mom, I had a good time. And you were right. Hollie didn’t turn into an ogre because I spent a few hours with someone.
“So tell me about her.”
Her mother’s persistence surprised Kyle. She was a great mother and normally didn’t pry into Kyle’s life, but lately she had been dropping hints and asking not-so-subtle questions about her love life. And now, Kyle wanted to tell her. “Her name is Lane Connor and she owns The SandPiper down on Highway One. I’ve been going there for a few years, now. She used to be involved with someone and now she’s not.”
“I don’t need to be a detective to be able to come to the conclusion that it was probably Lane who did the asking.”
Kyle’s silence prompted an “I’m your mother and know everything about you” look. “Where did you go?”
“The Stockyards. You know they recently re-modeled and it’s great inside. Very beefy, yet cozy at the same time.”
