It's Always Been You

Home > LGBT > It's Always Been You > Page 6
It's Always Been You Page 6

by Max Hudson


  When Benji pulled away Carrie shouted his name. He glanced toward her and then at me. Then he sent my heart into overdrive when he smiled. It was a genuine, Benji smile. Dimples and all. I was screwed. I was so very, very screwed.

  “Geesh dude, if you swoon any harder you might tip over,” Carrie said, and I shot her a glare. She only laughed and went back to her work.

  Benji held up a finger to me and I pointed toward the waiting area where a few people were waiting. I picked up one of the albums and began flipping through the pages. The pieces in the album were stunning and I was captivated by them all. But there was one particular piece that stole my breath. It was vibrant in its colors and so detailed it almost looked real. A phoenix, rising from the ashes. Fire billowed from its wings and its head was bent back, beak open wide as if crying out a song. It was stunning.

  “That was the piece that got us featured on the TV show.” I jumped at the sound of Benji’s voice and looked up to find him looming over me. He pointed to the phoenix and said, “It took about three months to do.”

  “You did this?” I asked, unable to hide the awe in my voice.

  Benji flushed a pretty shade of pink and looked away. “Yeah. The guy was an army vet, had gotten hurt, lost his leg. He’d been really down on himself. But then he got into this trial for these prosthetic legs and he felt renewed. He competed in the Paralympics; got some medals. Said he felt like a phoenix rising from the ashes. It’s one of my favorite pieces.”

  I continued to stare at him in awe and he shoved my head away playfully. “Stop looking at me like that; it’s just tattoos.”

  I grinned and shook my head. “Nah Benji, it’s art and you’re a master at it.”

  Benji smiled sheepishly and looked down at his feet. He was adorable. “So, what brings you here?”

  “Oh right,” I said pulling my list up on my phone. “I was looking for places to rent. I got hired at Emory and figured I’d need to move to the city. The commute from Decatur would be a real pain. I’ll be doing it this month since I’m housesitting for Mom and Dad but after that, I’m going to need something closer. I wanted to know if you knew much about the area. I know some of them are close to here. Figured I’d get a locals advice.”

  Benji rolled his eyes but he took the phone from my hands. He looked at the list for a few moments before handing it back to me.

  “Solace Heights will likely be your best bet. They’re close to the hospital and have some amazing condos and apartments. The prices for the condos are a little jacked but that’s Atlanta for you.”

  I nodded and noticed him nibbling on his lip. I wondered what was bothering him, but I didn’t have to wait long because he said, “That’s where I’m living,” he rubbed at the back of his neck and glanced out toward the window. “You could look somewhere else, but these are really great condos. You could use me as a referral, and we get three hundred fifty dollars off our rent. Just saying.”

  I laughed and something passed over Benji’s face when he heard it. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was I saw but I liked it. I liked it a lot. Benji cleared his throat and said, “You could stop by my place. Check it out and see how you like it. Or just set up a tour or whatever.”

  He was flustered and it shouldn’t have been as adorable as it was. “I’d love to stop by your place. Wanna make it Wednesday?” Benji’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, and I could tell immediately he was nervous. What about, I didn’t know, but I had to put him at ease.

  “Benji, we’re okay. I hope you know I meant everything I said. If you’re not comfortable with me, I get it,” I began and Benji waved his hands and shook his head.

  “It’s not that. I promise. I just don’t bring a lot of people to my apartment. It’s not you, I promise.”

  We stared at each other for a moment before Benji finally looked away. “I have to get back to work. Text or call Wednesday morning, I’ll let the front desk know to expect you.” He smiled again and turned to walk back toward his booth but stopped and came back. “I’m glad you came by Owen. See you Wednesday.”

  It wasn’t until I was halfway home, stuck in my Benji-induced haze, did I realize I didn’t have his number.

  Chapter Nine

  Benji

  I was nervous and that was putting it mildly. I was about to be alone with Owen, in my apartment. I didn’t have expectations of anything happening, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think that I wanted something to happen. It was dumb and reckless to think that way but my dick didn’t seem to care much for being logical.

  I looked around my apartment again, not sure what it was I was looking for. It was clean. I always kept it clean. I spent most of my time at the shop and whenever I was home, I was usually asleep. That was the only action my bed saw lately. I hadn’t been lying to Owen when I’d told him not many people had been to my apartment. When I wanted to hook up, we took it to their place. My home was a space for me to relax and regroup. I didn’t like the stress of worrying about the morning after or kicking people out of bed. I wasn’t an asshole, but I didn’t prefer cuddling up with my hookups.

  The last person other than my family to be in my apartment was my ex Jax and that was over nine months ago. My apartment felt like a sacred place for me and I didn’t just openly invite people to come inside it, yet, I didn’t hesitate when he was looking to rent from my complex. I could have pointed him in another direction, but my building was conveniently close to Emory Hospital. There were other places closer, but they weren’t as nice as these. At least that’s what I was telling myself.

  When the knock came at the door, I was vibrating with tension. I was being ridiculous. So, I took in some much-needed deep breaths before I opened the door. Then all of the breath was knocked out of me as Owen stood there. He wore a pair of black slacks and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The first few buttons of his shirt were open and his hair looked like someone had been running their fingers through it. He looked like my next mistake and I needed to tell him to leave. I should have come up with some sort of lie as to why he couldn’t be there, but no words came out. I just gaped at him like an idiot.

  “Benji? You okay?” he asked, and I shook my head and smiled.

  “Yeah, sorry about that. Just tired,” I lied and stepped aside to let him in.

  “Wow,” he said as soon as he entered the apartment.

  The living, dining and kitchen area was an open floor plan. I had a two-bedroom, so my living room wasn’t as wide and spacious as the one bedroom. Liz had decorated for me, so my apartment was adorned with blacks, reds and silvers. I had a black “L” shaped sofa with matching recliner and coffee table. My seventy-five-inch TV was mounted to the wall and other wall accents were placed around it. My dining room had a small circular glass table, large enough to fit four. When you walked into my kitchen you found the all-black appliances and sealed marble counter tops.

  I watched as Own looked around. He checked out the laundry room where my washer and dryer were hooked up.

  “Do these come with the apartment or are we on our own?” He asked and I laughed.

  “You’re on your own.”

  “Figures,” he said with a grin as he continued to walk through. The hallway bathroom wasn’t as large as the master bathroom, but it was a decent size. Liz had decorated it in grays and blues. Owen stepped up to the guest bedroom, which was decorated much like the hall bathroom and peaked inside. He looked in the walk-in closet and smiled as he came out.

  “This place is great,” he said as he sank down onto the guest bed. I tried not to focus too hard on him being in my house and sitting on a bed. I was only able to control myself because it wasn’t my bed. “Seriously, it’s amazing. I walked from the hospital to see just how far away it was and it only took fifteen minutes. That’s damn good timing.” His smile was wide, and he genuinely looked happy.

  “Yeah, and if you don’t feel like walking there’s always scooters. Those fucking things are everywhere.


  Owen’s head tilted back as he laughed, and I watched with rapt attention. He placed a hand to his belly and once he was done laughing, his happy gaze met mine.

  “God, you’re right. I counted at least thirty of them on my way here.” He wiped at the corner of his eye and sighed.

  “I have another few weeks before I’d need to move in, but I should probably set up an appointment to secure an apartment before they’re all gone.”

  “So, you’re moving in?” I asked and Owen didn’t answer immediately. He was too busy staring at me. Studying me. I felt naked in front of him, which was why I started to fidget. It was a nervous habit I’d picked up when I was a kid. I hadn’t done it in a while, but Owen got to me.

  “Benji, I can live somewhere else you know? This place is great, but I don’t want it at the expense of you being unhappy or uncomfortable. I’ve done enough to inconvenience your life; I don’t want to make it worse.”

  I sighed and moved to sit next to him on the bed. I meant to sit a little further away but ended up sitting close enough that our thighs brushed against each other. I felt his heat radiating off of him and I wanted to drown in it. I felt pathetic for the way I wanted Owen. The man had just told me a week ago that he was over whatever feelings he had for me and there I was, still harboring a crush.

  “I don’t mind you living here. I was just a bit surprised you were sold after not looking at any other places. Unless you have and I’m just making assumptions like an asshole.”

  Owen chuckled and placed his hand on my thigh. He squeezed and released it quickly and it took all I had in me to stop myself from telling him to move his hand higher. I was acting like a horny teenager and I needed to calm down.

  “You’re right, I haven’t looked at any other places, but I doubt any of them will be as nice as this. If you really don’t mind being neighbors, I’d love to be moving here in a few weeks.”

  “I don’t mind,” I said, and I managed to keep my voice steady and firm when I said it.

  “Okay then,” he said as he checked his phone. “I have to get back to work. I’ll likely stop by again before the end of the week to get the paperwork started.”

  We both stood and I followed him to the door. I was beyond ready for him to leave because my dick had been hard from the moment he’d shown up. It got harder when Owen turned and hugged me. I was stunned for all of three seconds before I hugged him back. My body was buzzing at the feeling of him in my arms. I wanted more, so much more.

  “Thanks, Benji,” he whispered near my ear and I locked my knees to keep them from giving out. He had to know what he was doing to me. He just had to. The question was, why was he torturing me.

  When he pulled away, I had my answer because it was right there, blazing in his eyes. Owen Haynes was a big fat liar. He wasn’t over me, not by a long shot. He still wanted me as badly as I wanted him. He might be trying to convince himself he was over his feelings but lies didn’t lie and his had just exposed the hell out of him.

  “You should get to work,” I said, my voice gruff. Owen nodded, his heated gaze never leaving mine.

  “I should, I really, really, should,” he said, his voice shaking. He was just as affected as me and if he didn’t leave soon, I wasn’t going to stop myself from acting.

  “I’m going to say to you what you said to me eight years ago. You need to leave. You need to get out of here before I toss you on my bed and shove my cock into that sweet mouth of yours.”

  Owen swayed and placed and his hand on the doorframe. “Christ, Benji,” he groaned before he palmed at his crotch. I growled and Owens eyes widened before he wised up and stepped away, but his eyes stayed locking with mine. He swallowed hard and shook his head. “We can’t,” he groaned. “Fuck me, Benji, we can’t do this.”

  I wanted to tell him he should phrase his words better, but it wasn’t the time. So, I closed my eyes and nodded. He was right. Nothing had changed from eight years ago. Connor would still be pissed if he found out and it would make things awkward if we ended badly. We’d gone through it once; we couldn’t do it again.

  “You’re right. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.”

  “Same,” Owen said with a heavy sigh. “I really do appreciate the tour Benji. I guess I’ll see you around.” I opened my eyes in time to see him walk away and because I promised to be on my best behavior, I didn’t watch his ass as he did so.

  Chapter Ten

  Owen

  The next two weeks flew by and I barely noticed it. All my mind had been consumed with was my “moment” with Benji. There was no way in hell he was believing my lie anymore. I was absolutely sure he knew I still had feelings for him or was at least still attracted to him.

  I’d set up a tour for the apartment that would initially be mine and began the paperwork to get approved. I had no worries there. My credit was impeccable, so I wasn’t surprised when they called a few days after my tour to let me know I was approved for the apartment. All I had to do was pay my deposit and sign my lease, which was what I’d come to do.

  Mom and Dad had one more week for their vacation and it seemed they were having a blast. But I knew my parents well. As much as they were enjoying their vacation, they were probably just as ready to get home. I wanted them to have their space to themselves when they got back, so I opted to move in a day earlier than expected.

  My only issue with the lease was it locked me in for six months. I hadn’t been sure how long I wanted to be back in Georgia, but it seemed I was going to be here for at least another six months. I didn’t like feeling tied down but, in this case, it wasn’t a huge issue. I loved my job, which made staying here easier.

  I got to the building and went to the office where my leasing consultant was waiting for me. We chatted a bit while I made my deposit and began reading and signing my lease. It was all over in half an hour. I thanked her for her help before I left and walked toward the building where my apartment was. It was in the same building as Benji’s. I wasn’t surprised, that was just my luck. I was however on a different floor from him so there was my saving grace.

  I did a walkthrough of the apartment and began making notes for how I wanted to decorate. Six months wasn’t long enough to settle in so I knew my décor would be simple and functional.

  My stomach was growling like crazy, so I left my apartment to go search from something to eat. Wouldn’t it be my luck that as I was walking out Benji was walking in. Yeah, that was my luck. What’s more was he was shirtless and glistening with sweat. His basketball shorts sat low on his hips, hinting at the vee, that led to his very generous package.

  He froze when he saw me and removed the earbuds from his ears. “Hey,” he said, and that one word had my stomach in knots. He had the sexiest voice. He could recite the alphabet and I’d melt into a puddle. I was so gone for this man it wasn’t funny.

  “Hey, yourself.”

  Silence met us and it was awkward. I hated that things were awkward.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, because I am,” he rambled. Him being flustered made me smile and Benji’s eyes watched my mouth as I did it. His face went soft and it took all I had in me not to hug him.

  “I actually live here now,” I said, remembering he asked me a question. Benji’s eyes widened and then a sexy smirk appeared on his face. Benji was trouble with a capital T. He promised to behave but I didn’t believe it for one second.

  “So, we’re really neighbors now, huh?” he stepped closer and I could smell the sweat dripping from his wide, muscle defined chest. Benji had bulked up over the years. His body was made for debauchery and I wanted it to do all kinds of bad things to me.

  “Yeah,” I choked out. “I’m on the third floor.” He stepped even closer and I whimpered. Fucking, whimpered. Of course, Benji heard it.

  “You okay, Owen? You seem a little flushed.”

  I couldn’t find words. In fact, my mouth wasn’t working at all. It was as if my br
ain had shut completely down. I was in way over my head with this guy. I thought we’d be able to move on after our chat but there was no moving on from this. I still wanted Benji in the worst way and it was clear that he felt the same. I knew us doing anything was stupid. It was reckless and could very much end in disaster but my need for him was winning the war against the logic in my head.

  “This is stupid,” I said and Benji nodded his agreement.

  “It is. But I think we’re going to do it anyway. So, how about this,” he said until he was pressed right against me. His heat surrounded me and my eye slid closed. His thumb caressed my jaw and I shuddered. “How about you come to my place tonight for dinner. I’ll cook for you and we can just… hang out.”

  I opened my eyes and raised a brow at him. Benji chuckled and I shook my head. “This is a really bad idea Benj.”

  Benji nibbled at his lip and shrugged. “It could be, or it could be a really smart idea. Let’s be real here Owen. We both liked what happened eight years ago and I don’t know about you, but that one time wasn’t enough for me. I wanted more. I craved it. So yes, this may be stupid but it’s stupider pretending there isn’t something still there. I want you Owen and you want me. Maybe all we need is one more time to get it out of our systems. Who knows? So, what do you say? Dinner at my place, eight o clock?”

  My brain was screaming for me to run away. Warning me that going to Benji’s place was the worst idea and to not even entertain it. But my heart. My stupid heart that had felt something for Benji a long time ago was screaming for me to run toward him. To embrace him, love him and never let him go. My dick was on board with my heart. It wanted all up on and in Benji. I was at war, but I knew what I was going to say before I even said it.

  “I’ll see you at eight.”

 

‹ Prev