by Carmen Reid
‘Who says I’m wearing black?’ Lana challenged her.
‘You know my new motto, babes: “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.” ’
This made Dinah and Lana giggle. They exchanged conspiratorial glances.
‘Have you got her to change her mind about the black?’ Annie asked her sister. ‘Really?’
‘Shhhh!’ Lana insisted.
‘Just a clue?’ Annie begged. ‘One teeny, tiny little clue? That wouldn’t be asking too much, would it?’
‘Yes, it would,’ Lana told her.
‘Is this the one then?’ Annie asked all three of them, plus the camera in turn.
All three heads, plus Bob’s, nodded solemnly.
‘You sure?’ Annie looked at herself in the mirror again, critically, appraisingly. ‘I was going to do pearls, plus a big pink flower in the cleavage. Maybe one of the assistants can get something like that for me … We can have a little try-out?’
When the flower and a chunky messy necklace of several strands of pearls were wrapped around Annie, she looked hard in the mirror and then really loved what she saw.
This was really her. Home accessorized.
This was her, much more than the Williamson with its beaded neckline already in place and it’s terrifyingly expensive folds. This was going to be the dress she could relax and say her vows in, relax and enjoy all the cuddles, hugs, sweat stains and tears of the day.
Now that she’d added the flower and the necklace and the shoes, she’d made it look just the way she wanted it to look.
‘It’s great,’ she told the camera with a wink, ‘perfect. Now just don’t let Ed see it before the big day.’
‘What about your bag, Mum?’ Lana reminded her and went into the changing room to get the divine little gold YSL clutch out of Annie’s larger handbag.
As soon as the clutch was in her hand Annie was almost complete. ‘I just need my little bouquet of pink roses,’ she told her helpers.
Dinah pointed to the gold clutch: ‘Now that was totally not from the high street, was it?’ she asked.
‘Well, no.’ Annie tipped her head towards Bob’s camera lens again. ‘I know, I know, it’s not from the high street … but everyone needs a little touch of luxury on their wedding day and, darlin’s, this is mine. YSL,’ she added in a whisper.
Chapter Forty-Eight
The registrar:
Light grey skirt suit (MaxMara)
Pale pink silk blouse (Mango)
Black stockings (M&S)
Black slingbacks (Salvatore Ferragamo)
Total est. cost: £550
‘Are we all set?’
Micky and Minnie were squirming in Ed’s arms.
‘Is Dinah here yet?’ he asked, trying not to make the question sound too agitated.
‘I haven’t seen her, but she’ll be here any minute.’ Annie was frantically trying to sound calm herself. ‘Give me one,’ she instructed.
Dinah had promised she would be here early and be chief babysitter for the entire day.
Ed passed Minnie, in a pink frilly dress with tiny ribbon roses embroidered round the neckline, over to the woman who, in just another twenty minutes or so, would be his wife.
‘I am dying to see what’s under there,’ Ed said, looking at his about-to-be-wife’s tightly belted raincoat.
‘Well, hold that thought,’ Annie told him with a tense attempt at a smile.
She, Ed and the babies had come in the first taxi. The registrar, smartly dressed in a grey skirt suit, ushered them from the waiting room into her office where she shook their hands and welcomed them.
‘OK, we’re just going to go over a few final details and then it will be time,’ she told them happily.
Annie smiled back and tried to look like a relaxed and joyful bride but she felt the most terrible jangle of nerves.
‘I haven’t looked through the vows,’ she hissed urgently at Ed.
‘Yes, you have,’ he reminded her, ‘the last time we were here, plus I gave you a printout.’
She shook her head. ‘I can’t remember,’ she told him.
Really what she now desperately needed to know was that she wouldn’t have to say: ‘Till death do us part.’ It was suddenly obsessing her: if she had to say those words to him, knowing it had happened to her before, she wouldn’t be able to do it. Her knees would buckle and she would just drop to the ground and howl. She knew it. It was making her feel panicky.
‘Here are the vows, Ms Valentine.’ The registrar calmly handed her a plastic sleeve with several sheets of typed white paper inside.
Despite Minnie squirming in her arms and trying to wrench off her pearl earring, Annie managed to scan the words.
It looked OK. She couldn’t see any sign of the dreaded phrase. It was going to be OK.
Ed put a hand on the back of her waist. ‘It’s all right,’ he told her, ‘you don’t have to promise to share your wardrobe with me, or the proceeds of any eBay fire sales, and there’s no clause about you having to have a savings account or anything like that.’
‘Right.’ Annie tried to smile. Normally she would have laughed, but she was far too anxious.
They did all the official bits and pieces the registrar wanted them to do and then it was time.
‘There’s a little holding area for the bridal party if you want to use it,’ the registrar offered. ‘Turn left, second door down. I take it you’re going to the room, Mr Leon, to meet and greet.’
‘Yes … Annie, give me Minnie and I’ll …’ He paused. ‘I’ll see you soon.’ He bent over and kissed her gently on the forehead. ‘I can’t wait,’ he whispered.
She took one last look at his broad, navy-suited back, a baby poking over each shoulder, and then he was gone.
Annie stepped out into the corridor and headed for the little waiting room. As soon as she opened the door, Dinah, Billie and Lana, who were already inside, jumped up excitedly.
‘Where’s Owen?’ was Annie’s first question. ‘Meeting and greeting,’ Lana informed her. ‘He’s taking his duties very seriously.’
‘Hello, Annie,’ Dinah said and hugged her sister hard.
‘You look gorgeous,’ Annie told her, taking in the sophisticated deep pink and white tea dress slithering round Dinah’s whippety form. A white flower clip held one side of her bob behind her ear and she looked totally foxy.
‘Good,’ Dinah smiled. ‘It is your wedding – style event of the decade!’
‘Billie,’ Annie instructed, ‘come here and let me squeeze the life out of your gorgeousness.’
Billie, resplendent in not just the pink chiffon cloud but also a white down shrug and pink sparkly shoes, obliged.
Finally, Annie turned to Lana: ‘OK, baby, time to unzip your parka and show me what you’ve got under there.’
‘I will if you will,’ Lana said with a smile.
Annie had almost forgotten she was still under her coat. She turned from Lana, then undid her buttons and put the coat on to a chair.
She smoothed down her dress, adjusted the slightly crushed flower at the cleavage, then turned to see her daughter’s dress, which had been kept totally secret from her until now.
As soon as Annie set eyes on Lana, she gave a little scream of delight, then hugged her tightly.
Instead of something slinky and soberly dark, Lana was wearing an iridescent purply-pinky-violet dress, its bodice with delicate straps set on top of a surprisingly full and frilly skirt. Lana wore her dark, fringed hair up at the back, showing off her pretty white shoulders.
‘Oh, look at you!’ Annie exclaimed. ‘I can’t believe you! You look like Lily Allen’s beautiful little sister. Dinah! You are so talented.’
Lana smoothed over her ruffled skirt shyly. ‘We only picked the material once you’d got your dress, so we knew it would go really well.’
‘Photo,’ Dinah commanded.
Annie stood in the middle with little baby-pink Billie tucked under one arm and lilac Lana under the other.
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br /> ‘Smile!’ Dinah demanded.
As soon as the flash had popped, Dinah realized the flowers, all heaped on to the chair behind her, were missing from the shot.
‘Flowers!’ she instructed and handed each of them a bunch. ‘I have to go, Ed will be frantic for his babysitter!’ She added, ‘Break a leg, everyone!’
Suddenly Annie found herself gazing into Lana’s eyes.
‘You look amazing,’ Annie told her.
‘So do you,’ Lana replied. ‘I’m so happy for you.’
‘I’m so happy for you and Owen and the babies,’ Annie said and rubbed against Lana’s cheek with her finger. ‘We’re already a family, this is just a … rubber stamp. And a lovely party to celebrate the fact.’
‘It’s great.’
‘And it was all Owen’s idea!’ Annie added.
‘It was a good idea.’
‘I hope …’ Annie began, her voice a little unsteady, ‘I hope your wedding day, if you choose to have one, is just as wonderful as … both of mine. I’ve been so lucky.’ She felt a hard lump at the back of her throat.
The door opened once again and in came Fern in a lovely pinky-beige suit with a huge pink rose at the lapel. Now Annie knew she was going to cry. She rushed her fingers to the corner of her eyes and pushed away the tears.
‘Darlin’,’ Fern began and wrapped her daughter up in a hug, ‘I just wanted to say hello before kick-off.’
‘Thanks,’ Annie croaked, staying in the hug. ‘I feel all shaken up. I keep thinking of my first wedding … and two such fantastic men …’ She stumbled. ‘It’s just hard to think that I wouldn’t have met Ed if Roddy hadn’t—’ She broke off.
Fern hugged her daughter tightly and rubbed her back, as if she were soothing a baby.
‘You were very happy with Roddy,’ Fern said gently, ‘so it’s only natural you would want to find that again with someone else. You deserve this, Annie, you deserve this. Now, come on, blow your nose, chin up, fix yourself up. Time to look radiant, my girl.’
Fern’s hand was under Annie’s chin. She unclasped her handbag and brought out a pocket tissue from the inexhaustible supply kept in there.
‘What a very different marriage I had,’ Fern added, dabbing at the slight smudge under Annie’s eye. ‘Don’t go thinking that anything Mick has told me has changed my mind about him. I’m not that dotty yet. I’m planning to keep him weeding and watering and taking out my rubbish for the next twenty years to atone for some of his sins.’
This made Annie laugh a little.
She looked her mother in the eye: ‘I love you, Mum,’ she said. ‘Be right here with us for the next twenty years at least.’
‘I’ll try, darling,’ Fern said and briskly dabbed at her daughter’s eye again before there was time for another tear to fall.
There was a tap at the door: ‘Are we all set?’ the registrar asked.
‘I’ve got to get to my seat,’ Fern said and disappeared out of the door.
‘All set,’ Annie repeats, but makes one final press under her eyes. She picks up her bouquet with one hand and takes hold of Billie’s toasty little paw with the other.
Lana’s cool hand slips round the crook of her elbow on her bouquet-carrying side.
All three fall calmly in step behind the registrar.
Still there is a jangling of nerves and excitement: a great rushing mix of emotion in Annie’s head and heart as the registrar opens the wood and glass door to the room.
Annie thinks of the little church lobby in Paris where the brides waited in turn, decade after decade, for the rest of their lives to begin.
There is music playing; she’s left all the musical choices to Ed because he wants to surprise her. She recognizes this piece at once although she hasn’t heard it for a long time; it’s an early recording of Ed and Owen on their violins: the very first duet they learned to play together all those years ago… when Annie first met Ed.
As Annie and her bridesmaids step into the room, there is a rustle as people murmur their approval and stand up.
At first Annie registers only a sea of faces; then she focuses in on friends and family in the crowd. There are Svetlana, Elena and Paula, the tallest women in the room, standing together under truly sensational hats. She beams at them. The flash which hits the corner of her eye must have been caused by Sye – the unofficial photographer.
Beautiful Amelia is in coral … and there’s Tamsin, looking glamorously mumsy, with all three of her children around her.
It is something of a shock when Annie’s eye falls next on Penny, Roddy’s mother. Penny looks a little older, and somehow slighter, but her hair is in a very stylish pixie cut. She’s chosen a bright blue linen jacket and on the lapel is a striking silver geometric brooch, picked out, many Christmases ago, by Annie and Roddy. She shoots Annie a bright and loving smile. Annie has to swallow hard. Chin up, she thinks. It’s OK. It’s really OK.
Connor in full kilt regalia risks a wave. The big show-off! Yes, persuading him not to walk her into the room was a very good decision. He’d probably have done a dance or performed a soliloquy. The handsome young man beside him? It’s Andrei, Annie realizes … beaming at Lana.
Ed’s sister Hannah and her little boy Sid; her wonderful sisters Nic and Dinah are all in the front row with their men beside them, a twin on each lap and their mother between them. Annie thinks she might cry at the sight of them all looking at her so very fondly and she presses her lips together hard. Dinah can tell, so she points down. Down at their feet are three (three!) of the grotesque pink plastic Annie Bags. Three of those disgusting bags of horror! Dinah has done this especially to make her sister laugh, because she suspected Annie might get all teary and emotional right here.
Now Annie really wants to cry because she loves Dinah so much.
Instead, she turns to Ed, standing in front of the registrar’s desk with his best man, Owen, upright and proud beside him.
They’re both in such serious, dark blue suits, with pink shirts and blue ties. Owen looks gorgeous. He seems taller and more handsome and more grown up than Annie has ever seen him before. She flashes momentarily back to when Owen was a bright-eyed, happy baby, always so giggly … and flashes forward to the handsome, wonderful man he’s going to turn into. She feels a rush of maternal pride. Somehow, she manages to shoot him a wink and he winks straight back.
Annie’s eyes are now on Ed and, finally, she lets her eyes settle. No. Because one of the babies squawks, so both Ed and Annie look anxiously round.
Dinah rushes an emergency biscuit to each of the twins. Peace is momentarily restored.
Ed and Annie turn to face each other again.
This is big, Annie thinks, looking into his calm blue eyes. Yes, comes the tiny distracting thought, that tie is just so perfect for those eyes.
This is immense, she reminds herself, vastly important and monumental.
Ed holds out his hand and Annie takes it. There is such calm and such love in those clear blue eyes, Annie knows that, whatever happens, it’s going to be all right.
So long as Ed is right here at her side, Annie knows she is going to be just fine.
‘Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,’ the registrar begins, ‘welcome to the marriage of Annie and Ed.’
Ed, never once taking his eyes from Annie’s face, carefully repeats the words of the registrar and makes his vow to Annie.
Annie listens to every single word. She hears this fresh and different promise for the very first time. The different words make this not like a second marriage, but like a new and very different marriage. All at once, Annie feels as if she is absolutely overflowing with love. For Ed, for her children, for their children, for her family, her friends, for Roddy, for absolutely everyone she has ever met and will ever meet.
She feels as if she is full of an infinite capacity for love that could never possibly run dry. Oh, babes, she tells herself, you’re having a mystical moment. She wishes she could rootle in her handbag for some extra-
minty chewing gum to bring her round.
‘This ring is a symbol of my love for you …’ Ed says.
She hears the tiny stress on the word ‘this’.
Owen steps forward, grins at his mum and hands Ed a ring.
Ed carefully turns Annie’s hand in his, and then on to her fourth finger he slides a heartbreakingly perfect solitaire diamond that Annie has never seen before.
Together, they had tried on white-gold wedding bands, and she thought that was what he had bought.
This ring is not huge, it is not the kind of über-rock that Svetlana would sport, but nevertheless it is absolutely perfect. Annie has never owned a diamond before and doesn’t think she has ever seen a more beautiful ring.
‘Oh!’ she exclaims. She has been buying fantasy diamond rings for so many years now that she knows all the terms and specifications but she’s so overwhelmed that they all muddle in her head: this is a flawless carat, D-cut, Tiffany weight, radiant …oh, whatever, absolutely gorgeous ring!
She looks at Ed and gasps a little round: ‘Oh!’ at him once again.
He just tips her a wink and tries to rein in the smile about to burst over his face.
The registrar asks Annie gently if she is ready.
‘Yes,’ Annie replies.
Her hand, with its winking, blinking adornment is shaking slightly, even though Ed still holds it tightly.
‘I, Annie Louise …’ the registrar begins.
‘I, Annie Louise,’ she whispers.
Owen and Lana feel the enormity of the moment and instinctively move closer towards their mother. When she feels her children press in beside her, Annie finds her voice and the strength to make it through this wonderful promise.
Word by word she repeats it, until the registrar gives her the final phrase: ‘… to love and to cherish for the rest of our lives together’.
Before she can say these words, Annie swallows, she curls her toes and she wishes and wishes that they will all live long, very long and very happy lives together.
