“I found a spell to communicate with celestial bodies. I used that.” I heard a huge crash from behind me and chanced a look over my shoulder. Baal had thrown Phil through the DJ setup at the end of the gym and the angel was getting up, scattering CDs, turntables and speakers every which way.
“Well, great job, lady! Look how well that’s worked out for everybody!”
“I didn’t mean to!” She was almost crying as what she’d done started to sink in. I took a deep breath, looked back at where Greg and Phil were holding their own (barely), and settled myself down.
“I know. And you can make it right. Do you know how to banish this beastie?”
“I have no idea. I don’t remember anything since Tuesday night. I was walking home, and all of a sudden I was asleep. I had the most terrible dreams, too.”
Crap. Tuesday was when we fought the girl at Tommy’s house. When Mike banished Belial, she must have followed the magic back to her summoner and taken her over. Bun-head remembered nothing since Belial took over and started trying to bring Daddy Dearest to Earth in earnest. That meant she wasn’t aware when Baal was summoned.
“Stay here, then. And if that thing kills us, start running.” “Where will I go?”
“I don’t think I’m going to care very much if I’m dead. If I croak, you’re on your own. And maybe even if I don’t croak.”
I stood up, centered myself and got ready to jump back into the fight. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of something shiny. I’ll admit that I’m easily distracted by shiny objects, but this time my “attention to detail” paid off.
At one side of the gym there was a little stage set into the wall, and at the front corners of the stageeagle atop the flagpole, but it was the other flag that caught my eye. I recognized it from playing softball for a Baptist church one summer in high school. It was the Christian flag, a red cross on a field of blue in the top left corner of a white flag. More importantly, the flagpole was eight feet tall and topped with a heavy gold cross. It looked like just the thing to smite an archdemon with. I looked around the gym quickly and saw no better option. It was time to see if this theory about holy objects really held.
I ran across the gym and grabbed the flagpole, pleasantly surprised when it didn’t burst into flames at my touch. Okay, maybe vampires aren’t all that unholy. What about demons? I yelled over to Greg, “Get high!”
He vaulted about fifteen feet into the air, and I chucked the flagpole at him like a javelin. He harnessed all of his vampire abilities, caught it on the fly, turned a somersault in midair, and dove straight down for Baal, cross first.
Phil saw what we were doing and launched into an all-out attack, thrusting and slashing with renewed fury. I had a brief second to think about how screwed we were if this didn’t work, and then Greg was diving into the demon with his Christian flagpole/spear. As the flying vampire got close, the cross atop the flagpole began to glow, eventually bursting into white fire as it touched the demon. Greg buried the cross deep into the meaty part between Baal’s head and shoulder, and the demon collapsed to his knees, screaming. Greg landed behind the beast and rolled clear, as Phil moved in for the kill.
He paused for a second, sword raised, and Baal looked him in the eyes. “Why, Zepheril? You could have been the greatest of us all.”
Phil looked at him with something like pity and said, “Dante was wrong, Baal. It is infinitely better to serve in Heaven than to rule in Hell. I hope this proves that I’ve learned that lesson.” Then Phil drew back his sword and sliced off the demon’s head in the middle of the gym.
Chapter Thirty-Six
After such a brutal fight, the aftermath was almost anticlimactic. There was no big explosion, no huge lightshow as the demon vanished into sparks, no great gaping maw opening in the earth to suck Baal back into Hell. All in all, it would have been much more impressive if it were designed for the Xbox. But real life, as weird as it is, still isn’t a video game.
So the demon disappeared, to be replaced by a screaming Sabrina standing in the gym firing her pistol randomly around her. We all ducked, and she ran out of ammo without shooting anyone on this plane, so all was good.
I waited a minute before I stood up cautiously and said, “Sabrina? Are you okay?”
She looked at me, still holding her pistol, and said in a shaking voice, “Jimmy?” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m sure I smell like Hell.” “Literally, but it beats being dead and smelling like zombie.” She laughed, which worried me a little. I always worry when a woman laughs at my jokes. When they’re laughing at me, it’s situation normal. But when they’re actually laughing at my jokes, I look around for the camera crew.
“So, it was Hell? I didn’t imagine that?” Sabrina limped over to one of the tables that had been scattered around for the carnival and sat down.
I followed her and stood beside her. I kept looking around, worried that we weren’t quite done fighting for the evening.
After all, it wasn’t quite midnight, so I figured there was still a chance for everything to go to crap at the witching hour.
“Yes,” I said simply. “I’m pretty sure you were in Hell.”
“I believe it.”
“What was it like?” She hesitated, and I added, “If you can talk about it, I mean.”
“Yeah, I think I can. I was surrounded by those psycho little girls from the forest again, and no matter how many of them I killed, more of them kept coming. They swarmed me again and again, and when I finally thought they had killed me, I opened my eyes and I was standing there in the forest again, and they were all coming again. It was like Zombieland meets Groundhog Day.”
She shivered, and I moved beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. “You know, Bill Murray was in both of those movies. It’s clear you have a thing for my type.”
She elbowed me in the gut, but she laughed a little. That was twice she’d laughed at my jokes. We were gonna need a hospital for her pretty damn quick. She was obviously concussed if she thought I was funny.
Then her smile died. “What happened here?”
I gave her an accounting to the point where Phil cut off Baal’s head. When I got to that part, I stopped and yelled across the gym. “Hey, Phil!”
“Yes, James?”
I guess I’d acquitted myself well enough in the fight, I’d been promoted past little vampire. “Why did you help us?”
“I told you. Baal was a danger to us all.”
“Uh huh. You’re a fallen angel, right? Cast out of Heaven for picking the losing side in Lucifer’s rebellion? Stuck here on Earth forever because you can’t go to Hell and you’ll never be allowed back into Heaven?”
“Never is a very long time, Jimmy-lad. And we’re not given to see all the way to the end of time.” Mike limped into the gym, one arm draped over Lilith’s shoulder as she helped him to our table. “Even the worst of sinners is offered redemption, again and again.”
Greg and Phil made their way over to us, as did Bun-head, who introduced herself rather shamefacedly as Janet.
“That’s a nice fairy tale, Mike. Not necessarily true.” I pulled a chair over next to Sabrina, and she didn’t pull away. That’s always a good sign.
“You made enough peace with your maker to come onto holy ground to fight a demon. Who’s to say there’s not hope for even a fallen angel?” I shook my head a little, but I generally defer to Mike on spiritual matters. After all, he’s the one with the hotline to the Guy Upstairs, not me.
“Hey!” Greg’s head snapped up. Even with his vamp healing, he looked rough. His fight with Belial took a toll. Greg had a black eye, which looked about three days old. Split lips were healing, but still seeping a touch. If he felt anything like he looked, then he felt like he’d been killed all over again. His eyes were clear, though, and something had obviously struck him.
“How did you get in here? And what about you?” He asked Phil, and then Lilith. “I thought you couldn’t set foot on holy ground without bursti
ng into flames or something.”
“That was him. I’m not a fallen anything, little vampire. I can go anywhere I like. I just didn’t want to get involved in your little mess.” Lilith looked at all of us smugly, obviously pleased she’d been the only one who hadn’t been possessed, nearly killed or beaten to a pulp by a demon.
Phil glanced over at Lilith, then sighed and let it pass. “I couldn’t set foot on holy ground, but once Baal set the demons free and stepped out of the circle, the gym was no longer sanctified. The very touch of a demon corrupts any place that it alights, and only the holiest of places can withstand that touch. This place was not nearly holy enough to stay sacred with an Archduke of Hell walking around. Rescue became possible.”
“And I guess Janet here could come in because she was still a human being, even if there was a demon driving the bus, so to speak. But why was Baal so disappointed in you? The boy was torqued.” I wasn’t sure he was going to answer me, but he and Mike exchanged a look, and then Phil took a deep breath and started to talk.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
“I suppose after sharing the field of battle, you’ve earned an explanation,” Phil said. “Long ago, in the dawn of mankind, there was a war in Heaven. Lucifer and an army of angels decided that humans were being given too much rein over this world, and that God needed to be deposed. I was one of those angels.”
“How’d that work out for you?” I asked. Greg elbowed me in the ribs and I shut up.
“Not well. We were defeated, obviously. The rebels who repented and promised to serve loyally were given their places back in the Host, while those of us who stood by our principles were cast out, forced to live among you worms as a constant reminder of exactly who the favorite children really were. And Lucifer was sent to rule in Hell. He took nine of his closest compatriots with him, and they became the Archdukes. Baal was one of them.”
“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “Baal was once an angel?”
“Haven’t you been listening?” Phil looked at me like a disappointed teacher, which is a look I was all too familiar with. I love getting put in my place by angels. It’s like adding insult to insult somehow.
“Baal joined Lucifer in Hell, and I became one of the Fallen here on Earth. I watched your civilizations, as if the word were even applicable, rise and fall. I watched your societies mature and decay, and over time I came to realize that I had been not only a fool, but a coward as well.” The angel stopped and took a breath. I got the feeling he’d been waiting a long time to tell this story, but hadn’t had the right audience.
“I couldn’t return to Heaven, and I couldn’t go to Hell. I was trapped here until I could do something to warrant an audience with the Father again. I had to do something to make him notice me, to remember me, so I could tell Him . . .” Phil’s voice trailed off and he blinked rapidly.
“Tell Him what, my son?” Mike asked, and I saw him as his parishioners must see him, as a wise man, a holy man. My oldest living friend almost glowed with an internal peace that made even me want to confess to him.
But we didn’t have all night.
“That I’m sorry and I want to come home,” Phil said quietly, shoulders tense and head bowed.
“Just ask Him,” Mike said so gently I was afraid for a second that Phil was going to cry.
Phil fell to his knees right there in the gym, and Mike joined him. The rest of us followed suit, except for Lilith. Mike looked over at her, and raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t kneel. Ever. To anyone. It’s my thing.” She sat down at the table, leaned back in her chair and propped her spike-heeled boots on the table.
“He knows,” Mike said. “He knows.” Then he took Phil’s hand. “Now, Phil. Ask Him.”
Phil looked up and one tear ran slowly down his cheek. He took a deep, shuddering breath and choked out, “Father, may I come home?”
I’d never seen Phil look contrite before. Of course, I’d never seen him cry, or fight a demon before either, so it was another night of firsts for me. Yippee, another learning experience.
“I think,” Mike followed the angel’s gaze with his own “all you ever had to do was ask.” Then Mike put Phil’s hands together and raised them straight over his head.
Nothing happened for a moment and then Phil began to glow with an incredibly bright, white light. I could only stand a few seconds of the glare, and even squeezing my eyes shut I knew I’d be seeing spots for a while. When the glow faded, I opened my eyes, and Mike was standing there, with no angel beside him.
Lilith looked around for a minute, and then muttered, “Sonofabitch! He didn’t leave me any instructions other than to take care of the club.”
“What does that mean?” I asked. She treated me to a look that could kill someone who was actually living.
Lilith took a deep breath and said, “I owed Phil a debt. Since he didn’t absolve me of it, I’ll have to keep his business operations running until he does, or until the period of my service comes to an end. So I’m stuck here for a while.”
“How long?” Greg asked. He kept trying to sneak peeks up her skirt as she leaned back in her chair, but he was about as subtle as a hand grenade.
“Five hundred years, minus time already served,” Lilith answered.
“How much time have you served?” I asked.
She shot me another look. “Two weeks.”
I looked around at Greg, Mike and Sabrina, and we all burst out laughing. After a few seconds, Lilith got up and left without so much as a good-bye. She did not strike me as a woman who was accustomed to being laughed at, which could go badly for us. Chances were we’d have to deal with her for the next few centuries.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
After our little chuckle, I sat up straight and looked at Janet. “So how do you plan to put all this right, lady?”
“What is there to put right?”
“What is there to—what is there to put right? Your little spell goes wonky and a passel of little girls end up kidnapped, a dozen zombies tear up most of Charlotte, a cop—”
“Detective,” Sabrina put in.
“—detective gets sent to Hell and we trash an entire private school gymnasium. And all because you wanted to win the Powerball! That’s what I mean, you nutjob!”
“You’re asking for the impossible. I can’t possibly do much to change things. But for starters I promise never to do magic again, even the kind that summons angels.”
“Demons,” I corrected.
“Well, I meant for it to summon angels. That nice man at the Career Day explained it all to me. The spell would summon the angels, who would perform three wishes for me—”
I held up a hand. “Wait a minute. What nice man at Career Day?” I had a sneaking suspicion I knew which “nice man” she was referring to.
“Mr. Arthur. He runs a chain of tire stores. We got to chatting about how school funding kept getting cut, and vocational education was getting hit worst of all, and he gave me a prayer book that he said would summon angels. But it didn’t so I must have done it wrong! But I really wanted to help, doesn’t that count for anything?”
Everyone around the table yelled in unison “NO!” I made a mental note to have a long conversation with the Tire King about the difference between angels and demons someday very soon.
Janet had the good grace to look ashamed, even if she didn’t have a good answer. After a long moment, Greg broke the uncomfortable silence.
“Hey, look. The sun’s going to be coming up soon, and this building is no longer what I would consider light-tight, so at least a couple of us would like to get home. The rest of you are welcome to crash at our place if you like, but we need to get going.”
“I can’t,” Janet said. “I have to get home to Mr. Kibble. He must be frantic with worry about me.”
“Don’t worry. You weren’t really invited. And who the hell is Mr. Kibble?” I asked.
“My Pomeranian. He’s very high-strung and gets terribly nervous if I don’t
make it home in time for dinner.”
“Whatever. Look, lady, I’m keeping an eye on you, and if I so much as see you buying the wrong color candles near the summer solstice, they’ll have to identify you by your dental records. You got me?” I gave her my best intimidating stare, which was helped a little by the blood spattered all over my clothes.
She nodded and scurried out the door before I remembered that she might not have an intact car in the parking lot.
Then I couldn’t manage to care. Oh well, now that she wasn’t possessed by a demon, I figured the rest of her problems would pale in comparison.
“What about you two?” I asked, looking at Mike and Sabrina.
Mike shook his head, “I’ve got to get to the church for morning Mass, but I’ll swing by later for lunch. I’ll drive you, though. My car is still in one piece, and I moved it right up to the gym entrance.”
“I’ll come hang for a little while, as long as there’s no biting while I nap,” Sabrina said, standing and holding out a hand to me. I took it and she helped me up. I didn’t really need it, but the feeling of her warm hand in mind wasn’t something I was likely to pass up.
“No promises on the biting,” I said as we started toward the waiting car.
Greg limped past us, leaning on Mike and yelled “Shotgun!” over his shoulder at us. I didn’t mind.
“There’s just one thing I don’t understand,” I said in a low voice as Sabrina and I walked down the steps into the parking lot. The eastern sky was barely beginning to lighten from black to deep blue, so it was definitely time to get rolling.
“Just the one thing?” she asked.
I punched her lightly on the arm, and she staggered a few steps sideways. Sometimes I forget that I’m not punching Greg. “When you were taken, and Mike got thrown out of the gym, he mumbled something about you being an innocent.” “Yeah?” She had that look that women get when I’m about to ask something that’ll get me slapped.
Modern Magic Page 39
