She gave me a look that was almost pitying. “Lyarris, you were raised in a royal household. I know that you are well aware of the depths to which some will go when playing their political games.”
“If you are suggesting that Besh — ” I began hotly, and she raised a hand.
“That is not what I am suggesting at all.” She tugged at the sleeve of the filmy under-blouse she wore, pulling it a little farther down over her wrist, her gaze shifting away from me. “What I am suggesting is that there has been a great deal of pressure placed on certain members of the royal staff to find the would-be assassin. This hunt has been going on for some time now. It seemed as if the trail had gone cold. But now the man has been caught, and everyone in Keshiaar is rejoicing. I have no doubt that most will not want to look too closely to determine the truth of the situation.”
“So who — ” I began.
“Most likely that visanis of your husband’s, Tel-Karinoor. I always had the impression from Malik — that is, Ambassador Sel-Trelazar — that he did not have any high opinion of the chancellor.”
Her words caused a faint trickle of cold to find its way down my spine. I, too, had found myself not quite trusting him, although I could think of no real reason why. Save sending my maids away, but I still could not imagine why such an action would profit him. “And did he ever speak of his misgivings to the Hierarch?”
“Goodness, no!” she responded at once. “That would have been political suicide. True, Malik is from a very good family, younger brother of a prince, but even so, he knew when to keep his mouth shut. However, the subject did come up once or twice, when we were speaking of our homelands, and the people we knew.”
“And what would be Tel-Karinoor’s reason? Merely to advance himself in my husband’s eyes? I had gotten the impression that his was the highest position in the court already, save for those in the royal household.”
“That impression is correct. But the visanis is granted that title, not born to it. According to Malik, such things do not happen very often, but it is possible for a chancellor be relieved of his title. If the Hierarch had intimated in any way that he was not pleased with the progress in this case, then I think it not so unlikely that Tel-Karinoor would do whatever it took to secure his position — even if that included capturing an innocent man and torturing him to prove that the mystery had been solved and the realm was once again safe.”
Thoughts churning, I got to my feet and went to the window, gazing out over the gardens below. Now, at the end of Fevrere, the rains had begun to dissipate, and a bright sunny sky shone down on the green grass. It was beautiful, but I could not be much cheered by that beauty, for I knew with the rains gone, the temperatures would begin to rise once again, propelling us once more into the endless heat and painful white light of spring and summer and autumn.
I did not know what to make of Therissa’s pronouncement. As I had had only a few face-to-face dealings with him, I found I could not give myself a true measure of the visanis’ integrity. We had gotten off on rather the wrong foot, he and I, and yet that could have been a simple misunderstanding. No doubt Besh would brush it off as such, if I attempted to use it as a reason for distrusting his chancellor. Oh, how I wished we were more open with one another, that I could simply go to him and tell him I thought perhaps Tel-Karinoor was not dealing with the situation in an honorable manner.
If I did gather the courage to do such a thing, I very much feared that Besh would not give my misgivings the attention they deserved. He would not, I thought, precisely laugh them off — he was too courteous to do such a thing to his wife — but he would attempt to convince me that I was manufacturing these worries from nothing. And of course I could not bring Therissa in to bear witness. Although Besh had heretofore been rather neutral on the subject of magic, I did not think he would much appreciate my sister-in-law’s aunt taking on the guise of one his servants and using that position to roam the castle freely, gathering what intelligence she might.
In truth, the very thought of his reaction made me shudder slightly.
“So what should I do?” I asked at last, turning away from the window and nervously twisting the jeweled bangles on one wrist.
“I am not sure,” Therissa said frankly. “This is a new situation for me as well. I do not think it best to say anything, for I am fairly sure His Most High Majesty would not want to believe what you were telling him. It is not easy to acknowledge that those around us are not entirely trustworthy.”
That I could well believe. I tried to imagine my brother’s reaction if someone were to come to him and say that Lord Keldryn, his own chancellor, had lied to him about a matter of such great importance. Pompous and blustering he might be, but Keldryn was a man of great personal integrity, and would gladly lay down his life in service to Sirlende. But…what if he were not? Would my brother listen to such accusations, or would he dismiss them out of hand, saying he had known the man in question his entire life and so could not believe him to be capable of such a thing?
I feared that was the situation in which I found myself now. More than ever I regretted that I was not in a position where Besh had confided in me, for perhaps then I would have had the courage to confront him on the topic of his visanis. If we had a relationship such as that which Ashara and my brother shared, then I knew I would not even hesitate. But they loved one another passionately, and had done so almost from the time they first met, whereas I…
…I had still only shared one true kiss with Besh, had not yet penetrated the wall he had built around his heart. We did not share everything, hide nothing from one another. Yes, he had declared to Tel-Karinoor that he kept no secrets from me, but I did not believe that, not truly. I thought there were still a great many things he kept hidden. Perhaps not to wound me or deceive me, but only because we were not so intimate that he felt he had any reason to share them with me.
Before I realized what was happening, a tear trickled down my cheek, followed by another. And then it was as if a veritable dam had burst, for I was standing there, weeping, kohl-inked tears dropping onto the priceless rug beneath my feet.
“Oh, my dear,” Therissa said softly, taking a step toward me. She paused, as if not certain what she should do. Then she shook her head and closed the distance between us, taking me in her arms and murmuring soft, comforting sounds of the sort I supposed a mother might bestow upon her child…if I had had a mother who believed in offering her children such reassurances.
I knew protocol demanded that I push her away, for no one not a direct relative should have taken such a liberty with the Hiereine, but I found I could not. For so many months I had felt so alone, so unable to reach out to anyone and show any weakness. Besh had been kind to me, true, but although kindness was of course better than the reverse, I wanted more than that. I wanted his love. I wanted all of him, not just the empty courtesies of a man too well-bred to ill-treat a woman but who could offer nothing more.
How long I wept, I did not know, but at last the tears began to dry up on their own. Only then did I back away from Therissa…but I did so with a grateful smile, so she should know I was not rebuffing her. “Thank you,” I said, lifting a hand to wipe away the last of the tears from my cheeks. At least now my fingers were not stained with kohl, which meant I must have sobbed it all away. Essaying a watery smile, I added, “I suppose I had better repair the damage before the girls return.”
“A very good idea,” Therissa replied. I could see she would not press the issue, would not make me explain the reason for my sorrow. Or perhaps she knew it well enough already.
So we went into my bedchamber, and the dressing table there, and she helped me reapply my cosmetics. Not much could be done for my reddened eyes, but after she had ringed them with kohl and added a bit more rouge to my cheeks, she deemed it would do well enough.
All this was accomplished with barely a minute to spare, for just as Therissa was setting down the brush she had used to apply the rouge, Lila and Marsali and Alina
re-entered my apartments, carrying an enormous bolt of deep claret-colored silk so massive that it required all three of them to transport it into the sitting room, then maneuver it into position propped up against one wall.
“Whyever didn’t you ask one of the guards or the manservants to help you with that?” I inquired, somewhat astonished that they’d managed to get it here without mishap. The bolt of fabric was half again as tall as they were.
They all exchanged a nervous glance, but then Marsali replied, “It was not nearly as bad as it looked, my lady. We did have the three of us to carry it, after all, and besides, we did not wish to take someone else from their own tasks to help us with ours.”
“That was very well done, girls,” Therissa put in, and they beamed and ducked their heads at this unexpected praise from the usually harsh “Miram.” “We will undertake all the measurements tomorrow. I am sure Her Most High Majesty will not mind the bolt being there for a day more.”
“No, of course not,” I said immediately. Perhaps if I had been more exacting of them, I would have claimed that I could not bear to have that enormous length of fabric propped up against the sitting room wall for a day and a half. But then, it was not as if I were expecting company. Besh would accompany me to this apartment after dinner, true, but he had never once set foot across the threshold. I could have upholstered all the furniture in spotted cowhide and painted the walls purple, and he would never have known the difference. Repressing a sigh, I added, “Do rest, and take some water and some of those cakes Miram has set out. I do not expect you to return to work until you are fully recovered from your…ordeal.”
Their eyes lit up at that, but even so they all sent a questioning glance in Therissa’s direction, as if wishing to make sure such largesse would be allowed, even if granted by the Hiereine. “Miram” gave the slightest of nods, and at once they went and poured themselves water from the silver pitcher that sat on a side table, then helped themselves to one cake each. During all this they kept sending her sideways glances, as if worried that she would scold them for their idleness, even though she had been the one to invite it. But of course she said nothing, and instead left them to their brief respite, asking if I would be so good to come look at the fabric in the afternoon light.
“It has something of a brown undertone, my lady,” she said, peering at it more closely and furrowing her brow in a good imitation of disapproval.
“I think it is lovely,” I replied. While I understood the need to play along with her, I certainly wasn’t going to say anything that sounded as if I did not want the new fabric after all. I was sure the very thought of having to cart it back down to the storerooms again would send my poor maids into a panic. “It is good that the divan and the chairs are covered in gold and ivory and tan, for they will go with just about anything. Indeed, I think this claret-colored silk will actually suit better than the blue. Of course, it means we will have to redo all the pillows as well, but I am sure my maids’ needles are up to the task.”
Therissa shot me an approving glance at these words, even as I heard something that almost sounded like a sigh coming from Lila’s lips. She was at work with her needle most of the day, when she wasn’t scrubbing, and no doubt the realization that I would require all new embroidered bolsters for the furniture did not appeal very much to her. Still, I knew I had to do what I must to keep her occupied, and if that also included sending her out for embroidery silks to match the new draperies….
And so Therissa and I plotted and planned, while the maids finished their makeshift meal before going back to their unending scrubbing and mending and embroidery. If Lila’s gaze lingered a bit too long on my face, especially my still sore and aching eyes, well, there was little I could do about that. At least I could trust her not to gossip…at least, not very much.
* * *
As I feared, Besh seemed preoccupied, distant, during dinner that night. No, he did not completely ignore me, asked me commonplaces about my day, and even commented that now with the rains beginning to clear out, we might spend more time at the observatory.
I could not ignore this olive branch, and so I said with some gratitude, “That would be lovely. I have missed looking at the stars.”
I did not add, “with you,” but he might have heard those words echoing, unspoken, between us. He paused, then gave a nod before he told me, “I fear that I have much to discuss with my chancellor this night, business that was not finished before dinner. Please accept my apologies, for I cannot discuss more of your legends of the north with you this night. Perhaps tomorrow?”
Swallowing my disappointment, I said, “Of course, my lord husband. I understand that affairs of state must needs take precedence over our personal pleasures.”
He seemed satisfied with my reply, inclining his head slightly before he returned to the food on his plate. What he and Tel-Karinoor had to discuss, Besh had not said, but I thought I could guess. That poor man held in the dungeon, the one who kept proclaiming his innocence, even though his protests fell on deaf ears. I found myself hoping that Besh would examine the facts of the matter and find the evidence wanting, but it was a faint hope. He, like everyone else, must wish to have this matter ended. It seemed unlikely that he would do much to question the counsel of his visanis.
My stomach churned, and I found it difficult to eat much more, although I took a few dutiful bites so as not to attract too much attention. Luckily, it was a small gathering, no more than fifty or so of us, so I knew nothing terribly elaborate was planned for entertainments and such that night. No, we would eat, and then retire to our various quarters.
For the first time since I had come to the palace, Besh turned to me at the end of the meal and said, “I must apologize to you again, lady wife, for I have not the time to spare to guide you to your chambers. The guards will see you there. I hope you understand.”
“Of course I do, my lord,” I replied, somehow getting the words out past the choking thickness in my throat. “I would not expect you to waste time on me when you have such pressing matters you must attend to.”
At these words, his brows drew together, and he studied me for a few seconds, clearly attempting to see if I had meant them as a criticism. But since I kept my expression blank and calm, I did not think he noticed anything in my aspect that would indicate how truly upset I was.
This is how it begins, I thought, and knotted my fingers around the napkin in my lap.
“It is only a temporary situation, I assure you,” he said.
“Of course, my lord.”
His lips compressed, and I could see the tension in the fine lines of his jaw, but he said nothing else, only stood, offering me his hand. I took it, and after he bowed to me, by some unspoken signal, four of the guards approached. My escort.
“Good night,” I told Besh, not waiting for his reply as I moved away from where he stood and allowed the guards to flank me. Well, it seemed they served some useful purpose, for with them surrounding me like that, they effectively blocked me from my husband’s view. We left the dining hall, the echo of their footsteps on the inlaid marble floors seeming louder than usual as they guided back to my rooms. Yes, the Hierarch and I always had the same complement with us when he walked me to my apartments, but I had not paid them much attention when I had him to accompany me.
Now there were no goodbyes, only the guards bowing as one of them reached out and opened the door for me. I went inside, stony-faced, inwardly relieved that my maids were not in the main sitting room, only Therissa, wearing as always the guise of Miram. I wondered if she somehow was able to maintain the illusion as she slept, or if she had to allow herself some respite from constantly maintaining the spell. To tell the truth, I had very little idea as to how it all worked…only that it did.
“It did not go well?” she murmured in question as she came to pull the jeweled cuffs from my wrists, unclasp the necklace of gold and rubies from around my throat. Normally she did this in my bedchamber, where she could immediately put t
hem away in the chest reserved for their storage, but I thought she could tell that I wished to be free of the heavy pieces. Now she carefully laid them on a side table before returning her attention to me.
“He had an urgent need to confer with his visanis after dinner, and so he sent me here accompanied by his guards,” I replied in the same undertone. Once again I felt that ominous tightening of my throat, but I forced it back. I had wept enough that day already. “I cannot say I am feeling very hopeful.”
Because we were not truly alone — the three maids were still awake, if not in this same room — she could not do as I thought she wished, which was to make some kind of consoling sound, or even reach out to give me a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Voice still quiet, she said, “It is only one night, my lady. I know it is difficult to be patient, but — ”
“I weary of being patient!” I burst out, then immediately lowered my tone. “That is, I have been here for one month shy of a year. I have been patient and meek and good, and I cannot say that any of it has done me any favors. And now I sit here while I know Tel-Karinoor is feeding my husband lies about this man they have accused of the assassination attempt, and I can do nothing. Nothing. People look at me and think because I am the Hiereine, I am the most powerful woman in the land. But I have begun to think that the least beggar-girl in the streets has more control of her life than I do.”
Therissa cast a worried glance in the direction of the chamber where the three maids had been waiting up, no doubt nodding over their embroidery, but I had heard nothing from within, Perhaps they were eavesdropping. In that moment I was so wretched, I could barely summon the energy to care.
Voice barely above a whisper, she said, “I know it is difficult. But until you know precisely what your husband plans to do, there is no need to get yourself so upset. Please, my lady, I think it best if you try to sleep. It has been a long day, one of worries and disappointments. I can’t help but think that you might look on all this with a clearer eye tomorrow, after you have had a chance to rest.”
One Thousand Nights (Tales of the Latter Kingdoms Book 6) Page 18
