Jeff wanted to argue with him, but it didn't make any sense to. Trying to do things the right way did not lead to becoming alpha.
“Is there anything else?”
“I guess not. I think I have been disappointed enough by you for one day, don't you?”
Years ago, that probably would have upset Jeff more than he liked to admit. He used to hate it when his father was mad at him. He just wanted to make him proud for so long, but at some point, he’d stopped caring. He was never going to get what he needed from his father and had accepted it.
Jeff was in a pretty bad mood after talking to his dad. He almost went out for a run that night to put his mind at ease but stayed in his room on the off chance that Carmella would come. If she was going to come to him, he had to make sure he was there. There was no way Jeff would miss that.
So, he waited around for a while, and he started to think that he was losing it to even think she would come in the first place. Of course, she wasn't going to come to him again.
He had to ask himself if it was a mistake, then why was he so upset about it? Why was he so upset to not be able to have a woman that he couldn't have in the first place?
When he heard a slight knock on his door, his heart surged. He was supposed to help her get to sleep, but what she didn't seem to realize was she made it impossible for him to rest. That didn't matter, though. He would much rather lay next to her wide-awake.
He opened the door and smiled back at her. She was wearing a soft pink nightgown, and her legs flashed underneath. Always looking perfect in his eyes. They roamed over her body, possessively, because Jeff wanted her for himself. He needed her and liked to believe he deserved her.
“You don't know how good it is to see you here. How was your day?”
Carmella smiled and moved in next to him. “It's been OK. I'm glad you're not mad at me for coming. I don’t want to make things weird for you.”
Jeff adamantly shook his head. “There's no way I could be upset with seeing you. You literally just made my day.”
She moved into the room after he invited her the rest of the way in.
“You must have had one hell of a day if I am the bright spot of it.”
Jeff didn't know what was the matter with her, but she seemed down. It looked like she had had a rough day as well. He asked her what was going on.
Carmella didn't want to talk about it at first. She was resistant to his questions, but finally, she just came out with it.
“I guess it's all just sinking in now. We had to go look for a dress this morning, and it should have been a good experience, basically the day I've been waiting for all of my life, but it doesn't seem very happy. I know you probably don't want to hear about my problems, so I will leave it at that. It was just really strange today, that's all.”
He reminded her again that he wanted to hear about her day. He had asked, knowing what she would be doing today.
“There's nothing you can say to me that will bother me. I want you to feel like you have someone who you can talk to about anything. I know that it can be hard if you don't have someone you can trust.
“Who do you talk to?”
“I talk to my sister about most things. We get along pretty well, and I have a couple of cousins locally that I ask for advice.”
“But not your father?”
He shook his head. He never went to Jason for any kind of advice about life. Jason didn't live the sort of life that he wanted to live, so it seemed pointless to go to him for his opinion.
“My father and I are not particularly close; no.”
“What do you think he would say if he found out about me being here with you?”
Jeff had actually thought about that, but he didn’t want to say anything to sway her to leave.
“Who knows.”
She sighed like it wasn’t the answer that she wanted to hear.
“I was hoping you would come over. I don't care what my father would think. It's not like we're doing anything wrong.”
Carmella seemed to like the answer. Jeff didn't know what the hell they were doing, but he did know one thing: he didn't want it to stop.
“I'm starting to think that you’re bad news, Jeff.”
He chuckled at that. “I think you might be right.”
“So, you really don't mind if I stay with you tonight?”
Jeff told her that he didn't mind at all. Having her next to him was torturous, but also freeing. Jeff wasn’t going to give that up for anyone, not even his father. He had to find a way to make her his, for good.
He opened his side of the bed to her and lifted the sheet back. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but Jeff hadn't the night before, so he hoped she wouldn’t mind. She didn’t apparently, because after a moment, she was getting into the bed.
For the first time in a long time, Jeff was convinced he was now exactly where he was supposed to be, with the person he was supposed to be with.
Too bad Carmella was promised to another man…
Chapter Ten
Carmella wasn’t ready to get up the next morning. She was awakened early by Jeff. She had to meet Jason in an hour. They had some more wedding things to attend to. She wasn’t too enthused, but all Carmella was worried about was not getting caught.
She had come to Jeff’s bed every night. It was hard to imagine what Jason would think of it, so Carmella thought it was best if he simply didn’t know. She reasoned to herself that she wasn’t doing anything wrong—she wanted to, but no part of her was going to let that happen. It was all she could do to get to her room and away from the warm body that was next to her.
When she opened the door, Carmella wasn’t paying attention, and she ran in, shutting it quietly. Carmella was breathing heavy, her heart racing because she’d been so afraid for Jason to catch her. When she heard his voice behind her, Carmella whipped around. Maybe he didn’t know where she’d been just yet, but he would soon enough.
“I see that you are up early this morning. Or, you were up all night? Where have you been, girl?”
His tone made her jump, and he seemed to like having that effect on her. Carmella was shaking inside, unsure what to say. Instead of coming clean, she lied about everything.
“I haven’t been sleeping all that well. I have been wandering around for a while now. I guess you could say both.”
He looked at her, studying her face to tell if she was lying or not. Carmella tried to hold it together, and she did her best not to think of Jeff. She knew that some shifters, especially older ones, had certain telepathic powers, and Carmella didn’t want to give him anything to go off of.
“The nuptials are keeping you up?”
He must have thought that it was a good thing, maybe that she was so worried about them, anticipating them even, that she was up all night thinking about it. Some of that was accurate, but then again, some of it wasn’t. She was up thinking about it, but not in a good way.
“Yes.”
Jason moved in close, and she fought the urge to move away from him. Carmella knew that it would do her no favors to act in such a way. He was to be her husband, not Jeff. All of it was in the wind, though now she at least knew that she had someone on her side, if and when she decided to leave.
His arms went around her, and his soggy lips were on hers. They were too wet, too big, and too anxious. They were all over her, and since he was holding her, Carmella was overwhelmed with it all. All she could do was hold on and try not to gag. Carmella wondered if it was because of how she felt about his son. It was all just too complicated, and when she pushed back and he finally let up, she was able to breathe again.
Carmella was shaking inside from the encounter, and Jason was smiling from ear to ear. That just made her more nauseous. She was trying her best to hold the smile on her face. He seemed to buy it and whispered how they would be together soon enough. Carmella shivered again and only breathed when he was gone.
There was no way she was going to stay. That was made clear to Carmel
la. She wanted to find Jeff right then and there, but she decided to wait until later that night. Carmella wasn’t sure if he was going to be as willing to help as she hoped, but he was her only lifeline. She didn’t want to marry the man, and she certainly didn’t want to experience more of the kissing.
“Well, I have to say, Father, you are looking downright chipper this morning. What has happened that has you looking that way?”
His father smiled with cruel lips curling upwards. “That woman is going to be the death of me. I wanted her so badly this morning. I almost lost myself. Only a few more days now. It’s anticipation that makes me glow.”
“Anticipation?”
Jeff’s mind was blank for a moment and he desperately wished that he wouldn’t have to hear about the reminder that was given to him.
“You know, son, for the honeymoon. Do I really have to explain how exciting it will be? I thought you knew a fair number of women. There are always rumors.”
Jeff was sick to his stomach. Of course, his lecherous father was looking forward to being with Carmella. She was young and beautiful. He wanted to be with her, but his father would be the one with that honor, not him. That was the worst realization that he could ever imagine. The images that came to him were hard to combat.
“I know how it all works, Father. I guess it just wasn’t on my mind.”
“Well, it is sure the hell on mine.”
Jeff didn’t say anything else. Before he could really lose it and say something he would regret, Jeff tried to change the subject. Jason wasn’t going for it, though.
“You know what I don’t get, though?”
Jeff sighed and asked him what. “I don’t get where she was going this morning. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that she was sneaking out of someone’s bed. But then she said that she was anxious about the wedding, and I couldn’t help it. Her lips are like a dream.”
Jeff had heard enough. He felt alarm when Jason mentioned something about her sneaking out of a bed, but the kiss and the rest was more than he needed to hear.
“I am sure it is not what you think, Father. I have work to do.”
Jason wanted to stay and chat. He wanted to gloat, or at least that’s what it felt like to Jeff. He didn’t want to have the same conversation with him, not again. Jeff was done talking about Carmella. She was going to be next to him in a couple of hours, and Jeff was finally starting to really see the truth.
He was going to lose her, for good, if he didn’t figure out how to fix it.
Chapter Eleven
Carmella thought twice about going to Jeff. It was wrong, she knew it, but something was pulling her in. Carmella was sure that there was no other way for her to get some peace. She felt it when she was with Jeff, and that was just going to have to be good enough for her.
She didn’t even knock anymore. Carmella just opened the door and moved into the room, closing it behind her. Her eyes didn’t need to adjust; she knew the room well. Almost a week had passed since she’d come to the house with Jason, and every night, she tiptoed into the room and found a place to call her own for a short time.
Jeff’s voice stopped her.
“I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to stay here tonight.”
Her whole world fell a few inches. Her steps faltered.
“What? Why?”
He sighed, and her eyes could finally see his silhouette. Something was bothering him; the way his shoulders slacked lower made it clear.
“This is just making everything worse, Carmella. You have to see that.”
She did see it, clear as day, but what was the other option? If it included not having him next to her, it wasn’t one that she wanted to talk about. All she really wanted was for him to let her lie next to him. To take her away, mentally and physically.
“Don’t turn me away, Jeff, please.”
“I can’t do this. I can’t lie next to you another night and not be able to touch you in the way that I want to. Do you know how crazy you make me?”
“If you want me so badly, why haven’t you tried anything?”
She started to unbutton her shirt and wished then that she wasn’t so shaky. It made it hard to manage the small buttons. Carmella didn’t know what she was doing, but she would have given anything for him to not turn her away.
“You know why. You’re marrying my dad. It kind of puts a damper on anything working out between the two of us.”
Carmella didn’t know what to say. She was trying her best to not freak out, but she did as soon as he did, because he realized what she was doing. He didn’t take it as well as she would have hoped.
“Are you getting undressed?” His voice was higher at the end of the sentence, almost comically so.
The last bit of clothing was falling down to the floor, and the chilled air made her tremble even more than before. Carmella didn’t say anything. She didn’t answer his question because she was sure he was getting a good look now. He’d been in the dark for a while, so Carmella figured that his eyesight was better than hers at the moment. That was a great relief for her because then she wouldn’t have to turn the lights on to give him a good look.
“I am just getting comfortable. Kind of like you on our first night. I am not used to wearing all of these clothes. I hope you don't mind, Jeff.”
Carmella could hear the hitch in his breath, and she smiled to herself in the darkness. As much as she was scared of what she was going to do next, there was a huge part of her that wanted to experience it more than anything else.
She stood there for several moments, not sure what to do with herself. Her hands were clasped in front of her, and even though it was so dark in the room, Carmella knew that he was getting his fill of her. She was able to be bold. At the same time, she felt like she was hiding herself as well.
“Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to come to bed?”
She liked the sound of that, even though it was not how it sounded out loud. They weren't together in that way, and even though Carmella was convinced she wanted it, there was still something holding her back. Carmella had never done such a thing before, and it scared her to even think about it.
When she didn't move, he finally got up out of the bed. She could tell that he didn't have very much on and her eyes were immediately pulled to his boxers. They seemed to pull tight over certain parts of him, and it made her body a bit nervous.
Then he was pulling her in for a kiss, and it was so different than the one she had experienced earlier in the day with Jason. This one made her stomach flip, and her heart did the same thing in her chest. That couldn't be normal, she thought to herself.
There was such a fever that came with his desires. One moment, they were laughing and smiling at each other, and the next minute, she was breathless in his arms. Carmella didn't like the way he chuckled as he pulled away.
“I don't think you're quite ready for that, Carmella. And I don't think that I can lie with you tonight and keep kissing you in that same way. It would be too much temptation, and I’m not that strong of a man.”
Her lips felt bruised, and Carmella could have guaranteed that they were red from his attention. It had taken her off guard because it had been so quick and so intense. Were all kisses supposed to be like that?
“What if that's exactly what I want?”
He growled at her and pulled her in for another kiss. If it were even possible, that time was even more disturbing than the last. She was practically shaking in his arms when he finally pulled away. He wasn’t laughing anymore. His face had gotten very serious.
“I think you are asking for things that you don't quite understand, Carmella. Men are not able to start and stop like women seem to be able to. If I start kissing you in that way, I will not want to ever stop. And then what?”
He had obviously thought about it because she could hear the tone of his voice. He had thought about it quite a bit, and that made her smile to herself. At least she wasn't the
only one that was dying for something she wasn't supposed to have. She really just worried he would tell her no and she would never experience what it was really supposed to be like.
“I don't know what to say, Jeff, just that I want you. Every time we're together, it feels right, and I know that there is more to a man and woman being together than kissing. I want it to be with you.”
His hold on her was tighter, and she tried her best to ignore the feeling of how hard he was. It was almost dominating, and Carmella was finding it hard to admit how much she liked the feel of him pressed against her.
“When I'm in your arms, it's just right, isn't it?”
He growled at her again, and this time she was anticipating the kiss and the feelings that would come with it. But it didn't come. Instead, he let go of her and told her he couldn't do it.
“You're going to be married to my dad. There's no way we can be together. You see how impossible it is, don't you?”
Carmella had to be blind not to see what was right in front of her. She knew she was supposed to marry his dad in a couple of days, and it did seem impossible. But it didn't change the way she felt. It looked like anything shy of that would be a waste of time.
“Please, Jeff, don't tell me no. You can't imagine how hard it was for me to ask, to bare myself to you in this way. No other man has seen me this way before.”
There were sounds that came out of him, and they didn't sound very good. That time, though, instead of moving away from her, he moved closer. He held her tightly in his arms, and she started to shake almost immediately. Was it finally the time?
Carmella felt her body flying through the air and then the mattress underneath her breaking the fall. It was soft, and she disappeared into it for several moments. She wanted to be brave. She wanted to show no fear, but it wasn't possible. With him standing over her, his body hard and taking over her mental capacity, Carmella knew she was in trouble. She just didn't know how much trouble yet.
Alpha Shifter Bride Service: (A Paranormal Romance Series) Page 15
