by Leela Ash
My dreams are bright, and I can see HIM clearly, Alexhander McDonald, in my head. It is the same name carved into the headstone in front of me as I sat sketching, and although it is scarcely legible, it must be the same. The date reads 1644.
There was a sketch of a man’s head, a rugged and yet handsome face with long, flowing, wavy hair.
The following pages were free of writing, but there were countless doodles of swords and shields, women and men in medieval dress, some tartan clad. There was a sketch of the small stone and numerous other images that seemed from a time gone by. The words “My dreams?” were scrawled underneath.
The next entry was June 22nd, 1956.
I think I am losing my mind. Slowly parts of my dreams are returning and they feel so real. I constantly think about this man, Alexhander McDonald, and I feel almost bereft, as if I have lost somebody close to me. I don’t know what really happened to me that day at the chapel, but my emotions are really mixed up for some reason. Maybe I am ill?
On July 30th there was one last entry:
Continuing to paint but not feeling myself. Felt odd since that morning at the chapel and the dreams continue to disturb me. Perhaps I will see Doctor Smith when I return home. Just a few more weeks left on the Island.
There were no more entries. If Andrea hadn't known any better, she would have thought the writer’s life had ended there. Yet she was living proof that it hadn't. As she flicked through the final pages, a small, square, black-and-white photograph fell from the diary and onto the plastic table of the train. It was a picture of Betty around her own age. She had forgotten how much she resembled her Gran. Apart from the clothing and the haircut, it could have been a photograph of her. Those magnificent eyes stared back into her own. If only she was still alive and had told her this story before. There were a million questions she wanted to ask, but now she would never know the answers.
Andrea closed her eyes and started to doze. She felt part of something, inexplicable though it might be. It almost seemed to be her destiny, riding on the train on this bright October day. She began to drift off into a light sleep, the rhythm of wheels on the track softly lulling her eyes closed. Grandma Betty appeared in her dreams and she was smiling and content. A small boy wearing a brown fur wrapping was in her arms. Her hands reached out, holding the child towards Andrea, but as she tried to take the boy, a mist gathered around her until the two figures were lost to her.
"Oban, Miss."
The gentle lilting accent permeated her dreaming, and she slowly opened one eye and then the other.
"We've reached the final destination, Miss. We're in Oban."
Chapter 3
Mull was just an hour ferry ride over the Atlantic. Standing on the deck of the boat with the sea breeze in her hair, Andrea couldn't be further away from the girl in New York if she tried. Wearing little make-up and her old jeans and sweater, she felt relaxed. None of her chic friends would recognize her here, especially not as the partner of the up-and-coming artist Steve Dench. Here she was simply Andrea.
It was just a little after 6:00 pm as she stepped off the Caledonian MacBrayne ferry and onto the Island of Iona. A jeep from the Hotel Columba was waiting to collect her, but she preferred to walk and stretch her legs. Letting the hotel staff take her luggage, Andrea set off down the rugged road. It was only a five minute walk to the place, but the sun was starting to set and the sky was cast with ripples of purple and orange towards the west. Taking a shortcut through the nunnery ruins, peace and solitude hung on every stone, every ledge. Surely this was a glimpse of heaven? Andrea felt as if she were at the end of the world, a place where man lived in harmony with nature. It was so quiet and peaceful.
Even the hotel painted white and blue seemed part of the landscape. It was bigger than she expected and the aromas of the local menu hit her as she stepped into the small reception area. Her room was cozy, so different from the tin shack her Grandmother had described in the diary. From her window, she could just see a faint white glow from the walls of the Abbey. She would explore tomorrow, but right now she needed a bath and a change of clothes before a delicious dinner. As she unzipped her jeans, she felt the phone in her pocket. It had been switched off all day and when she switched it back on there were five missed calls from Steve.
She would meet that obstacle when she needed to, but right now there were more urgent callings.
Andrea slept remarkably well and was up just as the light started to creep through the dark material of the curtains. Her usual strict regime of a drink of warm water with a squeeze of lemon followed by a selection of fruit and soy yogurt was eagerly replaced by a good old British fry up of scrambled eggs, bacon, and home-grown tomatoes and a large coffee. Her size-zero friends would be positively sick at the thought of such a high-calorie start to the day and the thought made her laugh out loud. An old lady sitting at the table opposite glanced up from her morning newspaper. She had a kindly face and twinkling eyes, just like her grandmother. She smiled as Andrea tried to apologize, but there was no need.
Picking up a leaflet about the Abbey on the way out, she stepped into the chill morning air. The sun had risen in the east, casting a pale lemon glow across the land. Rounding the corner of the hotel, the Abbey came into full view, majestic and peaceful in the morning air. The weak sunlight lit up the stonework with a soft golden glow, making the whole thing ethereal, almost magical.
She could feel the significance of the place in the air, almost as if she were breathing in the history. From Saint Columba almost 1500 years ago to the Viking Raids, from the Reformation of the Churches to the warring of the great Scottish Clans, this place had seen it all.
It was a Sunday, so the visitor center was closed and the ticket office unmanned, but she would still be able to visit the little chapel mentioned in her grandmother’s letter.
She would see Reilig Odhráin, the little cemetery beside Sràid nam Marbh, “the street of the dead,” where legend has it many ancient Scottish kings were laid to rest.
It was a very special place indeed.
The little chapel stood apart from the main Abbey, a humble-looking, plain, stone building from the 12th century. Andrea could feel the hairs on her neck bristle against the collar of her fleece as she stepped through the entrance archway. The doorway was highly decorated with carvings in stark opposition to the rest of the building.
Two narrow windows lit the rectangular interior. Hesitating slightly before entering, she peered inside. Even in this early hour, candles had been lit on a small altar in front of what looked like an old marble stone. The stone-flagged floor contained medieval gravestones laid horizontally, so she tiptoed quietly across the floor, careful not to waken the dead.
On a small table there stood a box of yellow wax candles with a sign that read, “Light a candle for a loved one. Donations welcome.” Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a pound coin and 50 cents and put them both into the wooden offering box. Striking a match, she held it against one of the small wicks and soon it was flickering with a golden flame.
For Grandma Betty, she thought as she hung her head in silence to pray. Andrea wasn't religious, and she didn’t believe in any God, but there was something spiritual about the place that she could not deny.
A draft blew at the back of her neck, so she looked around to see who had entered the chapel, but apart from her it was empty. Only the candle flame flickered as if disturbed by a phantom breeze.
The darkness and the solitude were affecting her senses. Andrea quickly ran back outside into the sunlight and breathed deeply. The cemetery was adjacent to the chapel and must be the one from the letter. The third grave on left-hand side... Was that from the front of the chapel or the back? Not really sure what she was looking for, Andrea decided to take a good look at all the gravestones to see if anything of significance struck her. It would only take her half an hour to walk the entirety.
The graveyard was bordered by a low stone wall, over which she had a perfect view of the
Sound of Iona, the white waves rippling against the rocks of Mull.
Towards the back of the cemetery were new graves. The Islanders were still buried here among the Scottish Kings and noblemen. Pausing by each plot, she read through the inscriptions. Most of the folk here had been “well loved” or “beloved” and seemed to have enjoyed a long life. No wonder, on this sanctuary isle. Others had been born here but had left to see the world, only returning to be buried here—the closest place they had found to heaven on earth, despite their travels.
“Home to rest after a long and weary journey,” one read. Her Grandmother had been cremated and Andrea wondered if it had been the right thing to do. It had all been arranged in such a hurry without her, yet she could hardly cause ructions at such a time. Perhaps it didn't matter in the end; she could still feel her presence.
She finally reached a line of gravestones dated much earlier. The third grave from the end was set with a simple stone with the date 1644 and the name Alexhander McDonald carved into it with the inscription “Born out of time.” There were fresh flowers laid at the foot of the headstone, peculiar for someone dead for nearly 400 years. Maybe it was a local historian or a far-removed descendent wanting to leave their mark in this special place?
The inscription was unusual to say the least, and she read it several times over in her head. This must be the place her Grandmother had wanted her to come; the name was the same as the entry in the diary. There was only one date—a date of death, she supposed, but it could also be the date of birth. Or perhaps both? The word “born” hinted at something much more tragic, and Andrea could feel a sense of sadness.
Suddenly she felt lost and alone. Up to now, she had been on a mission, following Betty's final wishes, but now she was here she felt helpless and didn't know what else to do. Perhaps she had been foolish following out such a crazy request after all, and Steve was right all along. Her heart suddenly ached at the thought of him. She needed someone to reach out and hold her. Or at least to hear his voice. She had left her phone back in her room, and hurrying down the path, she ran all the way back to the hotel, her eyes streaming with tears. Maybe it was delayed grief for her beloved Gran?
Back in the hotel room, Andrea picked up her phone. There were no missed calls. Steve must be really pissed off with her. Pressing in his number she waited impatiently for the call to connect. It went straight to voicemail, typical. Still it was the middle of the night back home and he probably wouldn't have thanked her for waking him, especially as he would be stressed out by the pending exhibition.
If she booked a flight home tomorrow, she would be back in time for the opening night. Maybe she should surprise him. Yes, that was it; she could just imagine his face as she walked through the door of the apartment they shared together. He would grab hold of her and they would have urgent sex on the leather couch, and everything would be OK.
She glanced at her watch. It was 10:30 and she needed to sort out her flights. Her Grandmas letter lay on the bed, and she quickly scanned it. She had forgotten about the stone that Betty had asked her to take back to the grave. She would do that after the flights had been confirmed. Then she could pack up and head for Glasgow airport, ready for the long journey home.
Luckily there were a few seats available on the morning flight, and she felt some relief. It took her little time to pack and she would have time for a quick coffee before returning to the chapel to carry out Grandma Betty's last wish. Slipping the stone into her jeans pocket, she picked up her fleece and headed down the stairs.
Chapter 4
The small bar area in the dining room was serving coffee, and the smell of the roasted beans gave her an instant lift. The old lady from breakfast was sitting by the window and smiled kindly at Andrea. Ordering a medium cappuccino, she sat at the only other table by the window, looking out across the water and letting her latest plans settle in her mind. She was doing the right thing, she was sure of it.
The coffee came and she stirred several sugars into the creamy white foam. The strain of the week had finally caught up with her, and she needed the extra energy. Sugar was definitely a taboo word in her circle back home. Letting out a sigh, she pushed back into her chair and stretched out her legs. She had set the wheels in motion now and would soon be back to her old life. These last few days would be as a dream. That was a sobering thought.
"How are ye liking our wee Isle?"
The soft lilting voice interrupted her quiet contemplation and she looked up to see the old lady was standing at her table, waiting to be invited to sit down.
"Do ye mind if I join ye?"
Andrea would have preferred a few moments alone but couldn't be rude to such a lovely lady.
“Not at all, though I haven't got much time before I leave."
The woman's blue eyes were steady on hers.
"That's something we have lots of on Iona. Time—it’s one of our greatest commodities."
The old lady laughed, and it made Andrea smile.
"I'm Geraldine MacDonald. It's a pleasure to meet you Miss ..."
"Andrea. I'm Andrea Taylor."
"And where be ye rushing aff to, lassie?"
"Back to New York. I live there with my partner, and he has his first art exhibition the day after tomorrow, and I need to be with him."
She didn't usually tell strangers her life history, but there was something about Geraldine that made her want to talk.
"Ye must truly love him?"
Andrea's smiled, uncertain how to answer that question.
"I came here as the last request of my grandmother Betty. She was an artist and came here in the 1950s. It's a strange request, but she wanted me to leave this on a grave by the old chapel."
Reaching into her pocket, Andrea pulled out the stone and slid it across the table.
A frail and age-spotted hand picked up the small stone between two delicate fingers and held it close up to her face, eyes sparkling as if she were holding a precious jewel.
"Ah."
Andrea frowned slightly. "Do you know what it is?"
"It's a rune from the old times."
The look on Andrea’s face must have told Geraldine that she did not understand.
"It's a powerful artifact. Ye better take care of it. The great Scottish clans would have used something like this against their enemy."
"You mean black magic?"
“There is no black magic. Just magic. But it can be used for good or evil."
Andrea was hypnotized for a few seconds, lost in the gaze of the twinkling eyes.
She laughed uneasily to break the spell the old woman was weaving. She would have to get moving soon to make it to Glasgow by nightfall. "But of course that's all silly nonsense. We know that now."
"Is it?” The old lady leaned forward. “This is such a special spot. It is said that Iona is a place where the thinnest of veils separates time and eternity."
Andrea felt uncomfortable. She knew what Geraldine was saying, but it was all a little too late for that. She had made her mind up and set the wheels in motion. There was to be no going back, and not wanting to be rude, she stood, ready to leave.
"I have to go. My flight is tomorrow."
The old lady handed back the stone and looked seriously at Andrea.
"Rushing towards the future, that's what everyone seems to be doing these days. But don't forget yesterday. We can learn a lot by reflection. Remember, as one famous author once said, “The past is a different country—they do things differently there."
It was a strange thing to say, but it had been a strange day all around. Putting the stone back in her pocket, Andrea smiled and bid farewell before quickly heading out. On the short walk back across the road and down to the chapel, she was conscious of the rune in her pocket and could almost feel it burning away against the denim of her jeans. She would be glad to get rid of it once and for all.
Chapter 5
It was almost midday by the time she had skirted the wall and walked back around to
the grave of Alexhander McDonald. The place was deserted and the air seemed quieter than usual, if that could have been possible. It was as if someone had muffled the air, like the effect of thick snow in winter.
Kneeling by the side of the grave, she pulled out the stone and started to dig it into the earth with her fingers, just as the old Abbey bell began to toll noon. The sound of the ringing made her look up, and she saw that the clouds had started to gather. The sun was almost covered by a thick white cloud that seemed to be descending like a fog all around her. The air felt suddenly chill and she shivered, wrapping her arms about her body as a defense against the sudden cold.
The mist dampened the air and she could feel stray strands of hair start to stick to the nape of her neck with the moisture. As the air thickened, she started to panic, robbed of all visual reference to the world around her. It was funny how the loss of just one of the senses could bring about a sense of panic. Andrea breathed deeply to calm herself. She was just being silly and needed to stand her ground until the fog lifted, which it surely must.
Scotch mist, she laughed inwardly at the thought. In New York it was a whisky-based cocktail, quite different to the real thing. Something to tell her buddies back home, anyway.
After a few minutes, the clouds began to clear, the white fog swirling into phantom shapes before her eyes. As the looming shape of the abbey started to appear once more to her left, she thought she could hear the muffled toll of the noon bell again. It must be an auditory allusion brought on by the freak weather—or even the toll of the all clear?
Although she was certain that she had stood quite still, when the air cleared Andrea was disorientated. The little chapel was still in front of her, yet the grave she had been kneeling at only a few moments ago looked fresh and without a headstone, a hand-hewn wooden cross marking the spot. She was crying too, and the tears fell down her cheeks for the loss of something she could not quite grasp. Something was different; even the air had changed. Turning quickly, Andrea looked back towards the road. A few rocks and an expanse of wild gorse occupied the site of the St. Columba hotel. Turning all the way around, her eyes widened. Gone were the simple white houses and the road. Even the Abbey had changed. It wasn't as grand, and she didn't know much about architecture, but it seemed from a much earlier period, almost medieval. The only building she could see was the old nunnery in the near distance, now no longer a ruin but a fully functioning building. Andrea shook her head as she saw two black-draped nuns walk across the little garden to the front of the building. It was all utter madness. Maybe she had fallen and received a blow to the head, or fallen asleep and was in the middle of a most vivid dream? Incredulous, she looked down. Gone were her jeans and fleece, and in their place a long garment, some sort of smock with the arms covered. Her feet were bare and her hair fell in loose curls around her neck. Her hand was still tightly grasped around the rune, but she had no time to wonder.
