by Vivian Wood
“It wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“Not a big deal? When some guy that I don’t know puts his hands on my woman—”
“Your woman?”
“You know what I mean,” he said, flustered. The alcohol swam in his head.
“No, I don’t think I do.”
“Goddamnit, Lily. I can’t just watch someone else take what I want so badly—”
“So don’t. Take it for yourself. If you’re brave enough.”
He scanned her face for a clue.
Was she serious? His gaze traveled to her lips. What the hell…
Cade pulled her close and brought her lips to his. Lily melted against him, held him close. As he walked her backward and pressed her against her little Mercedes, he realized there was no denying it.
Surely, at least for tonight, this was meant to be.
12
Lily
Lily grasped for the door handle and pulled it open with a creak.
“You don’t lock it?” Cade gasped into her ear.
“Is that really what you’re concerned about?” she asked.
She crawled backward into the cool leather of the backseat. Cade followed and slammed the door behind him.
She could feel the harsh brush of the sequins against the soft flesh of her upper thighs and back, but already Cade had reached for her panties and began to pull them down her legs.
She opened her mouth to protest—the parking lot was crammed full of cars and she could easily see the smokers that lingered by the door—but caught sight of the bulge in his jeans and couldn’t wait any longer.
“Fuck,” Cade said suddenly as she helped him slide the underwear off her stiletto-clad feet. “I don’t have a condom.”
“It’s okay,” she said, and he was on top of her. Crushed together in the tiny backseat, she felt the weight of the little car sway and rock below them. “I’m on the pill.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, though the hardness pressed against her center told her he certainly was.
“Yeah,” she said as his lips trailed along her jawline to her throat.
“I’ve been tested recently,” he whispered, and her eyes shot open.
Don’t think about that now. Don’t think about all the other women he’s been with.
She let out a moan as he released her breasts from the dress. Her nipples hardened in the cold air. As he licked and sucked, she felt them stiffen even more between his lips.
His hand, surprisingly warm in the evening chill, ran upward from the inside of her knee. She spread her legs as much as she could in the cramped backseat, desperate to have him inside her.
“You’re so wet,” he said as he slipped a finger inside.
The same words he’d said the first time they were together.
Lily groaned and pressed herself against Cade’s thick finger. When he inserted a second, she felt her wetness spread across the slick seat. He kissed his way from one breast to the other.
“More,” she commanded, and it was as if he’d been waiting for permission.
He slid a third finger into her and began to circle her clit, slippery from her own juices, with his thumb.
She fucked his hand while he pulled gently at her nipple. Lily could see the tops of some people’s heads as they walked by and heard snippets of conversation. Instead of embarrassment, she felt a rush of excitement. The idea of getting caught turned her on even more.
“I want you,” she said, although she was close.
Not like this.
Cade buried his fingers deep inside her as he quickly unbuckled his jeans. As soon as she felt his warm tip against her opening, it felt familiar. Like home. She wrapped her legs around him and spurred him inside with her heels. Lily’s arms pulled him on top of her.
“Cade,” she cried out as he reached her depths. Her voice was muffled against his neck.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he moaned into her ear as he began to slowly fuck her. “I forgot… I forgot how good you feel…”
She pulled open his shirt, only vaguely aware that she ripped off the buttons in the process, and ran her fingers along his muscled chest.
Lily dug her nails into the small of his back to force him deeper. Hold him longer inside her. Every inch of him felt so good. Every thrust brought her closer to orgasm.
“You like that, don’t you?” Cade asked into her ear. She could hear the grin in his voice.
Lily responded with a lock of her legs around his. She could hear the wetness between them—her wetness.
It turned her on more. Each time he was at her deepest, she felt the pressure against her clit and called out his name. Cade sucked at her neck until it was almost painful, but the near-pain was what made it so good.
She could tell she was being marked by him, and she wanted it.
I want to show the world I’m yours, she thought.
Lily arched her head back to present more of her neck. Cade complied and began to pepper the kisses and sucks along her arch.
“Fuck me harder,” she breathed into the darkness.
She could see the outline of her stilettos on his back, the signs for PBR and Deschutes Brewery in the bar windows in the distance.
The car rocked beneath them as the squeaks matched her own calls.
“Shh,” Cade said. “Quiet, you’re going to get us caught.”
“I don’t care,” she said. “Just fuck me.”
“Only if you say please,” he said, and stopped suddenly. Only half an inch of him was inside her.
Lily squirmed beneath him. “Come on, this isn’t funny.”
“I didn’t say it was.”
“Cade, come on—”
She gazed up into his eyes. Even in the night, she saw something in there, something that hadn’t been there before.
“Please fuck me,” she said. He immediately sank into her and she rolled her eyes into darkness.
Somewhere far away, she heard the keen of a drunk—or an animal. Something wild and crazed. With her eyes squeezed shut, she focused on Cade’s body.
Cade’s lips on her jaw. Cade’s hand as it caressed and pulled at her nipple.
It wasn’t until she felt his other hand over her mouth that she realized the keens were from her. He bore down on her, fucked her deeper, and his length pressed urgently against her G-spot.
The naughtiness of it, his power over her, brought her to the brink. She let her screams go into his hand, forgot about what little control she thought she had over her sounds, as he released himself into her.
“Fuck, Lily,” he said as the heat filled her.
His orgasm brought her to her own breaking point. She bucked beneath him and pulled him even closer.
“Don’t go,” she murmured, but knew he couldn’t hear her through the clasp of his hand.
When he finally released his hand, he kissed his way from her neck—already sore and ready to blossom with hickeys—to her chin and finally her lips.
“You’re wilder than I remember,” he said with a smile.
She blushed while he slowly pulled out of her. Lily felt their combined wetness spill down her thighs.
“Sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what came over me. I don’t… I mean…”
“I like it,” he said as he pulled up his jeans. “But I think you put on quite a show for whoever walked by.”
Cade lowered himself over her once again and pulled lightly at her lip. The pressure of him against her center made her twitch with want.
“You’re still hard,” she said, impressed. She reached for his cock, but he straightened up and buckled his jeans completely.
Even in the darkness, she saw the tic in his jaw. It was illuminated by the glowing neon from the bar.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Unless I’m wrong, we just had totally mind-blowing sex. There should literally be nothing on your mind but when we can do it again.”
Cade looked at her, and the look on his face was heartbreaking.
&n
bsp; “We can’t do that again,” he said slowly. “We shouldn’t have done it at all to begin with. And we’re never going to have sex again, ever.”
“Are you serious?” she asked.
Suddenly she wished her hem hadn’t hitched its way all the way to her navel, or that her nipples didn’t still poke out the top of her dress. She could still feel the wetness of his mouth on hers, his come as it flowed out of her.
“It would kill Elijah. You know that, right?”
“I’m—damn it, Cade, I don’t know what to say,” she said. Anger began to flood through her. All she wanted was for him to be out of her car. To be out of her. “You know that you’re an idiot, right? You realize I just gave you a second chance, and you’re blowing it so hard.”
“Are you seriously asking me to ruin a friendship I’ve had since I was six? He’s my best friend, Lily!”
“Oh, right. Perfect excuse for you, isn’t it? ‘I can’t be with you because you’re my best friend’s sister, but I’ll totally fuck you a few times in secret.’ If only you had such a perfect excuse with all the girls you fuck, right?”
She couldn’t help it—and hadn’t even realized she kind of believed what she said until that moment.
“Is that really what you think?” he asked, aghast. “If it is, then this is definitely for the best. I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
“Get out of my fucking car,” she said coldly.
I will not cry in front of him. I will not cry in front of him.
Without a word, Cade pushed his way out of the car and stalked away. Lily gently pulled down her skirt and reached blindly into the dark for her underwear.
13
Cade
“Charles, come on in here a minute.”
Elijah raised his eyebrows at Cade as the captain walked by. The guys had just started to dig into their breakfast of French challah bread with marionberry jam. The newest recruit got his due ribbing the first time he’d whipped up such a show, but after the crew had tasted what he could do they looked forward to his kitchen days.
“Yes, Captain?” Cade asked. Crane sat down at his desk and nodded at Cade to shut the door.
“How are the sessions going?” Crane asked as soon as Cade sat down.
“With Dr. Hersh, you mean? They’re going,” Cade said with a shrug.
“Thought you had some kind of breakthrough or something,” Crane said as he started to methodically peel an orange that he pulled from a drawer.
“Is that … is that what he told you?” Cade could have kicked himself.
Of course the captain is getting the reports. Why did I have to go and get all emotional talking about what happened in Montana?
“Not in so many words. Actually, his were quite lengthier, but that’s what I gathered.”
The captain bit into one of the sections and didn’t flinch when the sticky juice splattered across the desk.
Cade felt his neck grow hot, but he refused to act embarrassed. He glanced around the office and searched for what would pass as nonchalant.
“I was glad to hear it,” Crane said.
“You were?”
“Of course. What do you think I sent you to that doctor for, so you could talk about how your mama didn’t love you enough or whatever?”
Cade looked to the floor.
He couldn’t know. Could he? Well, maybe, but even if the whole foster care thing was mentioned in my files, I doubt he remembers that.
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, son. You were—you’re the one who was in the system, weren’t you?” The captain put down the orange and sat up straight. “I didn’t mean nothing by that.”
“It’s okay,” Cade said.
“Well, now that I went and put my foot in my mouth … you want to talk about it?”
“About what?” About my mom?
“How things are going with that doctor. I mean honestly, not just polite conversation.”
“Captain, with all due respect—”
“Let me put it this way. It’s going to go a lot better for your case and actually getting on crew if you do.”
“I thought I just had to see the doctor for that,” Cade said carefully.
How many strings are attached to this gig?
“Seeing the doctor is part of it, sure,” the captain said. “But I make the final call. If I don’t think you’re ready and capable of being on crew, you won’t be no matter how many of those headshrinking sessions you attend.”
Cade felt his heart sink.
So that was it. Dr. Hersh was just one of however many contingencies. And here I am resisting every goddamned session I’ve been to.
“Alright,” Cade said with a low voice. “We can talk.”
“Maybe this’ll help,” Crane said. He reached back into the drawer and pulled out a bottle of Buffalo Trace. “You drink?”
“I, uh—sometimes.”
“Good answer,” Crane said. “I’m officially off shift in one minute. And I know you just came for the waffles or whatever.”
He poured two fingers of the whiskey into glass tumblers he had wrapped in an old purple Crown Royal bag. Crane pushed one of the glasses toward Cade. “Cheers to another goddamned week done,” he said.
Cade clinked glasses with the older man, uncertain of what kind of game this was.
If it’s a game at all.
“Cheers,” Cade said. The burn of the whiskey on his lips raced down his throat and settled comfortably in his stomach.
“So. Those fires.”
“In Montana?” Cade took another sip.
He hadn’t had a chance to get any of the French toast in his stomach and he hadn’t had a bite to eat since the bar food at Redd’s last night.
Before the thing with Lily. Before I left her mad as hell in the car.
Well, at least it meant the whiskey would work fast.
“Where the hell else?” Crane asked.
“Well … I don’t know how much you know.” Probably more than you let on. “But, you know, I fucked up. Three of my men died.”
“It was your fault?”
Cade’s face burned.
“I don’t know,” he said. That was a first. Usually, in his head, it was always his fault.
“You don’t know,” Crane repeated.
“I mean, two of them were a few yards away. When we rappelled out of that helicopter… I’m not sure any of us knew what we were descending into. I’d never seen anything like it, that’s for sure. The guy with me, Barron—I don’t know what happened.”
“He left?”
“Yeah—”
“Of his own accord.”
“I mean, I didn’t make him. I didn’t even realize he was gone until—” Cade brought the glass to his mouth, anything to shut himself up.
“So what makes that your fault?”
“I was boxed in,” Cade said. He shook his head. “Looking for Barron, and I don’t know. I fucked up, messed up my ankle, and then it all went to hell.” Literally. “I … I couldn’t get to them after that.”
“So, you’re telling me, those three men died because one wandered off and you made a snap judgment to get to them that happened to render you immobile?”
Cade looked at the captain. He’d never really put it in those words before. “I guess?”
“Son, you got some kind of martyr issues or something? ‘Cause if you do, then you damn sure picked the right line of work.”
Cade gave a short chuckle. It was odd, to laugh when he talked about Montana. Actually, it was the first time he had.
“Death wish, maybe,” he said. The captain nodded, unaware of just how honest that admission was.
“We all got that,” the captain said.
He took a pull of the whiskey, and Cade noticed the yellow gold wedding band.
“You married?” he asked, the liquid courage strong.
The captain raised his brow at the question. “Widowed, actually.”
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Captain—”
“You can call me Eldon,” he said. “But just in here. And don’t worry about it. It was… well, it was a long time ago.”
Cade nodded.
“You gonna ask how long?”
“I mean, not out loud—”
The captain laughed.
“Almost forty years,” he said with a nod.
“Wow.”
“Told you it was a long time.”
“And you still wear the ring.”
“Still wear the ring,” the captain agreed. “To be honest, at first it was a big help. You know, feeling like she was still there. Pretending I was going home to her.”
“What was her name?”
“Lillian.”
“That’s… that’s a pretty name,” Cade said.
“Yes, it is,” the captain agreed.
“Do you… do you mind if I ask how she…”
“I wouldn’t have brought it up if I minded,” the captain said. “We’d only been married one year. Everyone thought we were crazy. She was ten years older than me—that was real scandalous back then. But I just knew. Just bought a house down in Central Point, little white three-bedroom on an acre of land. Heard from the folks who sold it to us that it was an old officer’s place from the camp they used to have down there in the forties. All I know is it didn’t have any kind of heat, and we used nothing but blankets, space heaters, and a fireplace that first winter.”
“That sounds terrible,” Cade said.
“It was great,” the captain said with a shrug. “Lillian planted rows and rows of vegetables our first summer. Corn, cucumbers, tomatoes—hid our own little stash of reefer plants in those tomatoes. You know how they look kind of the same. That was before it was legal,” he said with a pointed look at Cade. “So don’t go telling nobody.”
“I won’t,” Cade said with a grin.
“Then, going into that next winter … we thought she just had the flu. But it kept on getting worse. She was stubborn though, kept saying it was just the change in weather. When she collapsed in the parking lot of King’s Table, I drove her straight to the hospital. She woke up on the way, howling and protesting the second she knew where we were going.”
