by Tania Cooper
“Just checking that this is what you wanted, Alexis?”
“Umm, what?”
“Are those the two dishes you ordered?”
“Oh, um, yeah, they look right. Thank you … Lane.”
His low rough voice has her just about jumping out of her seat, but she digs her pointy heels into the carpet, grounding herself in place. Lane bites his lip, taking a deep breath that has his nostrils flaring. He then turns quickly, returning to his desk and sits down on his chair, well, tries to sit down. He sucks in a sharp breath before his hand disappears below the desk, for what I assume is some more adjustments, before he then reaches for his own food.
These two are so worked up they can barely swallow their meals. They steal little glances at each other, both still resisting the chemistry that has this place on fire. Neither wanting to cross that line of professionalism, but both now desperately craving each other. They continue their dinner in silence, pretending not to notice what is happening between them. I can feel it, it’s only a matter of time before one or both of them crack. It may not be tonight, but I swear on my most precious jewel, my bud of arousal, that it will happen soon.
“Oh Hot Lips. I don’t think I can rev my man up like this again if there is no guarantee of an immediate release. I’m in so much pain I feel sick, physically ill, and it’s not just me. My boy is struggling to even swallow each mouthful of his dinner. This level of discomfort is just not worth it.”
“Are you saying that my girl and I aren’t worth it?”
“Aww sweetheart, don’t say it like that. You know exactly what I mean; you’re worth everything, but surely you can agree with me, this type of build-up, when it looks like neither of them is going to give in tonight, it’s freaking torture.”
“Yeah, I have to agree. I’m not looking forward to a round with BOB tonight. That type of release will not cure my appetite. “
“Who the fuck’s Bob?”
“Ha, ha. How do you not know BOB? I was sure your guy would be the experimental type.”
“I told you before, we are not into guys. Especially if this Bob dude gets around. Haven’t your heard of STDs?
“Oh my God! This is so funny. BOB is not a person, he is a … wait for it, you are going to laugh … he’s a battery operated boyfriend.”
“Oh for fuck sakes. You had me going there for a bit. And no, we haven’t used one personally and his ex didn’t like them, so our experience with BOB is limited.”
“You don’t know what you’re missing out on. They can be pleasurable for both.”
“Okay, I’ll take your word for it.”
After dinner is all tidied up, they continue their game of pretend, as if neither of them wants to acknowledge the feelings that are flowing through their veins. Their questions are short and their answers more so, as if both are afraid to speak. Eight and I try our best for the next hour, but these two just dig their heads deeper into their computers and their heels deeper into the carpet. Both are even too scared to get up and pee.
Tonight doesn’t end how I would like, but at least it’s a start. I really am feeling numb from us sitting for so long, and thank God my girl finally gets the message. Her head is getting fuzzy and her eyes blurry as she starts to pack up and shut her laptop down.
“Good idea Lex, nothing is sinking in this late at night. I think I’ll start to pack up too.”
Wow. Someone finally has a voice. By the time my girl is ready to head for the door, Mr. Uptight jumps up and opens the door for her. Okay Mr. Gentleman, nice gesture, but I don’t want you to open a door; I want you to open me!
They walk in silence to the elevator and my girl presses the button. Thank God there is only a few seconds wait, because this awkward feeling between them sucks. They both get in and Mr. Uptight presses the button to go down. And the awkward feeling changes to something more serious. As soon as the doors slide close, the smell of hormones becomes suffocating. It is slowly drifting from every pore of their bodies. Alexis’s cheeks redden and Lane almost bites his lip off with how hard he chews on it.
The bell dings and the door opens to the lobby. For a few seconds, neither of them move, as if they are both frozen under the spell of horniness. Mr. Uptight grunts before taking the first step and Alexis finally finds her feet and moves after him. They walk across the deserted lobby, her heels echoing through the empty room. Mr. Uptight holds the door open for her and she walks out into the crisp night air. After a few steps they both come to a halt, looking anywhere but at each other.
“Thanks for working late too, Alexis, I really appreciate it.”
“It was my pleasure, ah, I mean, it’s my job, to um, stay until the work is finished.”
“Of course, of course. Um, are you going to be okay getting home on your own this time of night? I could walk you home if you like, or call you a cab?”
“It’s okay Lane, I’m used to walking home on my own, even at night. But thank you for your concern. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. See you on Monday. Night.”
“Goodnight Lexi.”
They have both said a soft goodnight, yet neither of them move. Their eyes are fixed on each other as if they are both mesmerised by what they see. Maybe they finally see the possibilities that they could have together, or maybe it’s just the lingering tones of the sexual hormones Eight and I overloaded them with. Either way, they seem reluctant to part. Which gives me hope.
Lane, ever so slowly, starts to lean towards Alexis, and her body follows suit. Their eyes never leave each other as the world around them falls to the background. All they see is each other. Lane starts to lower his head slowly, as if asking in silence if my girl wants what he is about to offer. But then a car horn beeps loudly from the street behind them, breaking their trance.
Alexis slowly starts to step backwards, realising what was about to happen. Uncertainty washes through her as she struggles to recall if it was her or him that was leaning forward. The last thing she wants is to look like a fool if he had no intention of actually leaning in for a kiss. She takes another few steps back before offering him a small smile and turning away from him, heading towards the tram stop, desperate to get home and sort out these vamped up feelings.
“Hot Lips. No! Don’t let her leave! He was about to kiss her. Our plan worked. Turn her around and come back here this instant!”
“I think we may have pushed them too fast, Eight. Let it go for tonight and we will make a new plan of attack on Monday. Night. “
“Nooooo! But I wanted to wake up to you in the morning.”
“Me too Eight, me too. Sweet dreams.”
“You too, baby.”
The first step on the tram feels like I’m being ripped away from a loved one, traveling far and wide, never to return. My feelings intensified the minute he said he wanted to wake up with me. Now I know for certain I’m in love. It’s times like these, I wish I had the big brain.
Damn you Lane Anderson, damn you and your ridiculous sense of professionalism, we were so damned close to sealing the deal with Hot Lips and Lex, but no, you had to go and be the ‘consummate’ professional. One of two things are going to happen here; I’m going to nag you to the point you tug one off, or you’re going to go chasing after Lex and plough her to oblivion.
It’s at points like this where Lane does a runner from his feelings. He’s gone before, and no doubt if this thing with Lex boils out to nothing, he may do it again. Last time he spent six weeks telecommuting for work, all the while hiding away in some island shack off the coast of Thailand. I really hate Miss Queen Bitch for what she did to my boy and seriously, I hope he never goes there again. Having Thai ticks plucked off my ball sack from that stupid waterfall is not something I ever want to revisit. But, right now, Laneway here has two choices; I just hope he picks the right one.
Lane bro, seriously, what the fuck happened to the man that would have called over a cab and rocketed off after that foxy lady with the cheeky muff?
I know what’s coming, a
night of rampant masturbation followed by a round of tequila chasers and a drunken sonnet scrawled into the leather backed notebook hidden in the bottom of the nightstand.
I’m going to be one sore dong in the morning, one very sore and very pissed off dong that will be taking this up with Hot Lips the first moment I get. Oh Hot Lips, how I dearly want to wake up next to you, even if it was only a one night thing.
Well, here we go, one more unto the lube, dear friend. Just remember to shut the front door this time, we don’t want the neighbours complaining about the sounds of your jerking off echoing through the stairwell. You’re not even going to wait for us to get in before trying to adjust me properly? Get your hand out until you get inside, idiot! Oh shit, hey there, Mrs. Winslow.
“Oh shit, Mrs Winslow, uh hello, sorry um, yeah, good night.”
Mate, what have I told you about waiting for a closed door before doing that; I know me and Hot Lips had you pent up and raging, but shit, seriously, how the hell could you be so damned stupid as to do a frontal adjustment in the bloody hallway. I bet Mrs Winslow loved the view though, that old bird is always staring at your arse when you pass in the lobby.
Well there go your shoes, pants, jocks and socks; what’s next, your skin? No, just your shirt and jacket, so another nude weekend it seems to be. Seriously, someone is really eager here, already in the bedroom and dragging opening the bedside drawer and yanking out the lube tube.
Damn it, that stuff is cold, but I’ll be a dildo if that doesn’t feel good on my head. Oh yeah, smooth it in. Yeah that’s it, wiggle it a little, oh yeah right there. Shall we start the picture show? I think we shall. Big brain, roll film.
“Oh damn, that’s it Lexi, just like that.”
Yeah I thought you’d enjoy that; ease up on the grip a bit, big brain, throw in a little tongue action. Oh yeah my boy likes that, I can feel his pulse racing now, yeah, you like it when Lexi licks my head. Mmm, that feels beautiful don’t it, her tongue sliding over my head as you curl your fingers into her hair. Yeah, my boy likes that thought.
Okay, a little faster.
Damn it boy, keep that pace right there. Oh shit, big brain, turn it up a bit, half-length swallow with a nice tongue swirl. Mmm that’s it, yeah, he’s racing now; oh he loves the idea of Lexi sucking me tight between her plump lips. He’s been fantasizing about that all damned day. Yeah, oh God, let’s keep it right here.
“Yeah Lexi, suck me, suck me hard.”
That’s my boy, tighten that grip slightly mate and circle that thumb some more. Just like that, that’s it, right there, a little faster again, bro. Oh we’re drying out a little, get some more lube on me, don’t want to start sticking.
“Lexi, baby, Goddamn it, oh yeah, suck me nice and deep, beautiful.”
Hell yeah, my boy is really going to town on this. That’s it, nice and fast, really get some speed going, mmm just like that. Oh God, here it comes, it’s coming. Arrrrrrr! Damn, that was a heavy shot; we ain’t cum like that in a while. I swear I’d smoke if I could. So now what, I guess we get up and grab a shower.
Oh you’re asleep, well I guess the emotional and physical excitement did wear you out a bit, that and the marathon wank just now, ah well, who am I to go against the tide? See you in the morning, Lane.
Well that was a … spirited night. I’m still pissed at you, Lane, but that was a good way to end the day. Now are you still going to be a complete wimp and do that whole wait three days bull crap, or are you going to man up, call her up, and take her out on a date; or are you going to do what you always do, hedge in with some daft excuse or implausible reason for calling?
“Hello, Lex? Sorry for calling on the weekend. Is there any chance we can meet up for a coffee? I’m free from now until around two, if you are? I uh, I need to talk over some points from Friday’s research. I was going over it this morning and well, I think we need to iron out a couple of wrinkles we may have overlooked.”
Well that is one way of doing it I suppose, still a nancy boy way of doing it, but then again, it can be effective, if used properly. I’m wondering if ten a.m. is a bad hour for her and she doesn’t see just how much of a blanket ruse your request is, but what if she does, hey? What are you going to do then?
“If it’s a bad morning for a meeting we could always go to lunch or something, I know a few quiet places near the office or say further along the north bank that will allow us to talk in quiet.”
Oh come on, just bloody bite the bullet and just ask her out you daft sod, she has to see through this, she has to. I mean Hot Lips is attached to this woman and she saw through me in the first ninety seconds of meeting her in your office.
“Well fantastic, shall I make a reservation for say one thirty?”
Huh, I can always be wrong, wouldn’t be the first time.
“Okay then Lex, I will make a reservation and text you the address, or, I could come and pick you up if you like? No, that’s fine, I’ll text the address and meet you there. See you soon.”
Seriously, she actually bought that pile of tripe about the work situation? Seriously mate, you are pushing close to the line on this, you better have a damned good line set for this ‘lunch date’ of yours.
I haven’t found you this nervous since you had to give that speech in grade six. What was it, oh that’s right, about the Anzacs and the end of World War One, you were trembling then and you’re trembling now. You have spent the last two weeks working with her, what the hell could there be to be nervous about? Ah I get it, to you this is a date, your first date with her and you are thinking back on every girl you’ve ever dated, trying to discern exactly what you could do to not screw this up. Well, considering you’re the only one of the two of you that thinks this is actually a date, well, I don’t see how you could screw this up. That is, unless you say something completely stupid, or go blurting out those bubbling heartfelt feelings of yours. You always do drop in head first, you daft bastard, and I don’t mean my head.
Ah well, your tie is straight and your hair styled properly, professional yet casual, as always. Now go brush your teeth and gargle a pint of mouth wash, otherwise you may end up gassing her to death, you know you get a tinge to your breath when you’re overtly nervous.
“Well, this place is nice, a little up market, but nice. A bit more intimate than I was expecting for a work conference.”
“Yeah Big Eight, what is your boy playing at?”
“Honestly baby, I ain’t got a clue. All I know is that he has planned this to look like a work thing so he can have a stealth date with our girl. He’s doing that whole geek in high school thing, where you ask someone out for one reason, but to you, it’s something else entirely. To be fair, I would rather he just asked our girl out. I’m dying to wake up with you, but my boy is being a complete … sorry I have to use this phrase, pussy … over everything.”
“You’re forgiven, and yeah I figured it would be that, but my girl is being just as coy and just as dense about it. I saw this coming the moment he phoned, but Alexis, well, I doubt she’d notice a nuke going off, she is so deep into la la land over him and your bloody pheromones. You couldn’t drag her out with a freaking herd of wild horses strapped to her ankles.”
“Ooo shush for a moment, Lane is trotting out his ‘excuse’ for calling.”
“Oh this should be good.”
“Shush.”
“Sorry.”
“I’m glad you like it. It’s a small bistro that I take preferred clients to. They have an excellent selection of food; the chef is cordon bleu trained, but they also value their preferred customers’ privacy, so there are secluded booths and tables at the back that are perfect for meetings that require a little more finesse than you can apply in the boardrooms back at the office.”
“I can see why, but still, can we justify sending this to the corporate account?”
“Let me worry about that. Order what you want and
we can get down to discussing the work over some good food. If you like sea food, I recommend the scallops, they use a sweet but dry white over them, gives them a nice edge.”
“Cheeky bastard hasn’t even hinted at the reason for really being here. He’s smoother than I gave him credit for.”
“Yeah, that’s my boy for you, sweetheart, he’s been that way since high school. The chiselled jaw and whiskey brown eyes works in his favour. Hell, he bedded the ‘it girl’ when he was barely past sixteen. My boy has always had game, but around our girl, he’s a freaking mess. He is really working hard to keep his composure, believe me.”
“I can tell, your scent has dipped a lot, Eight. I’m going to try something here, let’s see if I can get my girl a little … juicy.”
“Well, this should be fun.”
“Uh Lane, where’s the restroom?”
“Through the arch at the back, second door on the right.”
“Thanks!”
“Ha, bulls eye! Back in a minute, Eight, my girl is off to … adjust her panties.”
“Lucky bitch, I’ll just be here, hanging half mast, trying to get my boy to think straight.”
“Good boy.”
Lane, we need to up our game here, what are you thinking? One slip and this could explode worse than the Hindenburg. You have to be extremely careful here, bro, and I do mean careful.
“Well that was fun, my girl now has one very soggy wad of cotton in her clutch purse.”
“You mean that you’re …”
“Yup, I’m catching more breeze than a Bells Beach surfer.”
“Oh you’re killing me! If it wasn’t for my boy’s nerves I would be punching the bottom of this table right now. You are one very cruel pussy and it is one of the things I love about you.”
“Hang on, what did you say? Did you just say you love me?”
“Uh, huh, uh, no, I just meant that, you have a lot of admirable qualities and I happen to think very highly of them. I’ll tell you now, I’m falling heavy and hard, but … yeah, I’m going to shut up now.”
