by Tania Cooper
Wednesday:
Today, well, it’s an odd one. Lexi seems a bit peeved, yet yesterday, she was all for it. I swear the boardroom still smells of sex and sweat. Hell, client satisfaction has tripled overnight after Lane and Lexi’s after party, but still, today’s odd.
No matter what my boy does, he is rebuffed at every turn, it’s like she’s suddenly become a nun. No matter what he does, be it a cute little kiss on her cheek when no one is looking or a sly touch here and there, she just glares daggers at him and swats his hand away. I’m confused as hell and so is Hot Lips. She is getting so many mixed readings from her girl, one side is as wet as the ocean and the other is drier than the Sahara desert in summer time. I mean seriously, you could sand a wall with how dry one side of my girl is right now.
Still, the day rolls on, with my boy being rebuffed at every turn, those frowns never straying far from Lexi’s forehead as she aims it at us again. Hot Lips tells her to stop, the noise tearing at me as I struggle to comprehend the change in our girl; it’s not as if it’s that time of the month. My girl would have given me a warning if that was coming; being on the receiving end of a red bashing is never a good thing. People think oh yeah, safe day, messy, but safe. Fuck off; do you have any idea what it does to a chap’s moral to be sent into that on those days? Regardless of the fact that she is weeping and screaming at you while you’re doing it, it’s like the first night of the Somme, no one comes out of that situation without some kind of scar.
“Baby, what the hell is going on? I haven’t seen someone this frustrated since I watch Benji’s mum kick his third girlfriend out because they’d had sex in the bath after she’d just cleaned it.”
“I wish I knew, Eight, I wish I knew. She is totally confused; hell, there is less sense coming out of her than a Chinese VCR manual.”
“Did you just make a culture pun?”
“Yep.”
“And you wonder why I fell in love with you.”
“I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“Lexi, hold on for a moment.”
“What, Lane?”
“You’ve been pushing me back all day, have I pissed you off?”
“No.”
“Then what did I do?”
“Nothing, it’s fine.”
“Oh come on.”
“Seriously, it’s fine.”
“Lexi, that is bullshit, there’s something wrong, and I get the feeling it’s my fault.”
“I said, it’s fine, so it’s fine, okay?”
My boy steps forwards, his arms slipping around her waist as he pulls her close to him, his lips finding their way to her neck as she pushes back slightly.
“Are you sure now?”
“Mmm, uh, what? What was the question?”
“Nothing important.”
Well, that was quick. Lane turns Lexi to face us as I stir against his briefs and zip, the scent of my girl making me throb as I ache for the feel of her. Lane nips and sucks at her neck as he sinks his fingers in Lexi’s backside, lifting her from the floor and carrying her to his desk.
“I want you so badly, I just don’t know how I stop myself from taking you in the lobby each day. You’ve woken something in me, Lexi, and I just can’t stop it from taking over.”
“Lane … umm … ahh …”
The condom is out and unwrapped before I can even think, Lexi staring at us as I push past the rapidly descending zip, slapping against her bare thigh as she sinks her heels into Lane’s lower back.
“Just how many of those do you have, anyway?”
“Enough.”
“You knew this was going to happen again, huh?”
I drive deep into Hot Lips’ waiting silk as Lexi pulls us tight to her, Lane’s sudden grunt making us both jump as the desk shakes under the sudden pressure. Lexi groans deep in her throat as I bottom out and fill her completely.
The smell of sex soaks the air as Hot Lips floods us with desire, Lane’s thrusting hips slapping against the back of Lexi’s legs, the desk jumping under each rampant spearing.
“Yes, oh yes, Lane, fuck.”
“Oh fuck Lexi, take it baby. Take it all.”
Time blurs as Lexi and Lane’s coupling sends work scattering to the floor, his desk shuddering as he drives me deep into our girls’ soaked depths.
“Here it comes baby, open wide, I know you want it.”
“Oh yeah, Eight, give it to me, let me suck you dry.”
“Oh fuck baby, take it, take it all.”
Thursday:
Well another day, another dollar. Are we going to get some actual work done today, bro, or are you … oh, okay then.
“Lane, we haven’t even started work yet!”
“I’ve locked the door and work be damned. I want you, and I want you now!”
“Lane, seriously, I … I …”
“I need you Lexi, so damned badly.”
“What the fuck, baby! Does your boy ever stop? I’m still sore from yesterday’s romp.”
“You and I both, baby, but Lane is pumping so much blood into me I couldn’t stay limp if I wanted to.”
“Well, I guess we better just go with the flow then.”
“Yeah baby, I guess we better, open wide babe.”
“Come on in then, big boy.”
“Baby, please tell me your boy is out of juice for the rest of the day, I don’t think I can take much more. I love you, but I’m exhausted and need a rest.”
“You and I both, baby, but I honestly don’t know. I don’t know where he is getting it from, it’s insane, he’s never been like this with anyone before. I think my head is developing an RSI from all the thrusting.”
“You think that’s bad, I think I have friction burn on my bloody internal walls. You do realise that is supposed to be impossible!”
“I’ll do what I can, babe, but I can’t promise anything; you’ve seen how he can get.”
“Thank you, baby.”
“Anything for you.”
The rest of the day is thankfully sex free, Lane and Lexi both diligently working to catch up on all the work they had ‘fucked away’ the past week. Day folds into afternoon before either of them rises from their desk, Lane’s only contribution to the day’s ‘conversation’ coming in the form of asking if Lexi wanted a coffee. A soft muttered no thank you was his only reply.
I can’t help but notice that as the day has worn on, the energy that usually fills the air has begun to darken, Lexi’s shoulders dropping a little with each passing hour as she buries herself further and further into her work. I need to ask, but I’m afraid of the answer I might get if I do question Hot Lips on whether or not our girl is feeling okay. I bite my tongue, or I would if I had one, and press on with keeping Lane on task and try to ignore my mounting concern for the wilting flower in the corner.
I can feel Lane begin to come around to what I have already noticed, his brow furrowing as he casts his eyes over towards our girl. I can feel concern flowing off him, his gaze lingering a lot longer than it ever has before, as Lexi sits hunched at her desk.
Time clocks out well before anyone in the office, Lexi ignoring the shuffling growl that is now audible as the rest of the floor filters past the door. In silence they move, packing up their bags and cases, neither uttering a word to the other. Lane too unsure of what is going on, and me, well, I’m terrified to even ask my girl what has so suddenly switched between our two.
The walk to the elevator reeks of silence, the clicking of Lane’s shoes and the dulled tapping of Lexi’s heels the only noise in the now tomb like floor. The ring of the elevator bell is deafening as they both step through the open door, not a word passing between them as they are ferried down to the bustling foyer.
My boy keeps casting furtive glances at Lexi, her stoic, almost stonewalled face making him more than nervous as he watches the doors in front of them open, tracking her face in the polished chr
ome.
Even now, with the fervour of the foyer, the silence that cocoons them both shatters everything, not one word uttered between them as they move through the hustle and bustle of departing office workers and rapidly moving night cleaners. The torrent of the outside world slams down around us, the noise crushing everything and still they remain silent. I’m beyond terrified and into a world of fear so pronounced that I don’t think I can ever fully pull myself from it at the moment, let alone Lane.
The walk to the tram stop is slow, measured by each step, the tap of Lane’s shoes echoing the click of Lexi’s heels as they make their way towards her ride home.
Standing in front of the tram, I finally find my voice, calling to my girl at the last moment, all the while Lane and Lexi stand staring at each other in silence.
“Baby, I don’t like this, it’s worrying me. A lot.”
“I know Eight, it’s come out of nowhere, but I’ll try and fix this. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby, please always remember that, no matter what happens, I’m yours.”
“And I’m yours too, baby, nothing will ever change that.”
“Well, goodnight Lexi.”
“Yeah, night Lane.”
Fuck, do something Lane, lean in, kiss her, do something. Okay better than nothing, a quick peck on the cheek, shit, something is wrong, big time. Fuck!
Okay, okay, okay. Oh, crap. What are we going to do, bro? Something has changed and I don’t know how to fix it. Damn it, why can’t you just duct tape emotions like you can everything else? Damn it all to hell, Lane Anderson, what have you done?
“Fuck. That was frosty, so damned frosty, what the hell happened? I don’t know, whatever it is, it needs to be gone. No matter what, I’m going to try and fix this. I need her to know now, she deserves to know, to know that I love her and I’m not leaving work tomorrow until she knows it. I’m not going to risk her slipping through my fingers. We’ll work it out. We’ve got to work it out.”
Yep, we have to work it out, because I can’t live without my girls. That is a reality I refuse to think about.
My girl is in a strange place. We came home; she turned the TV on and just sat. We never just sit and watch mindless TV or news. We usually come in, maybe chuck on a load of washing so we don’t have to do it over the weekend, organise some dinner, answer personal emails or Facebook messages, then we may sit with dinner and our laptop open at our small dining table. We usually clear all thoughts of work by the last mouthful so we can either settle in to watch our favourite reality show or shove on a movie. If we really want to chill we would have the bath running during dinner, then slide in with a good book waiting beside us. We don’t just sit and stare at the boring news.
I can’t quite tell where her mind is at and that’s probably because she can’t either. She is torn between loving all the sneaky office sex this week and the way Lane brought her body to climax faster than she knew was possible and feeling insecure, wondering if Lane is just attracted to the thrill of an office affair.
She is not that type of girl. She has always held her work with the highest of respect and if one of her friends had ever asked if she would be involved in an office fling, she would be the first to say ‘hell no.’ She loves her job too much to ever risk it on a casual desk fuck. Was that what it was for Lane? Damn, now she has me doubting the poor man. Eight has told me the depths of Lane’s feelings for Alexis so I doubt her thoughts are correct. I believe that past insecurities could be at play here, insecurities that never seem to be too far from the surface.
Do we ever truly lose them? Our past pains, our past heartbreaks, our past issues with ourselves? Even when we have found our happy place, it only takes one song, one scent, one taste to have us crashing back to a place of considerable pain and doubts. But that’s what makes us who we are. Our past. The good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the pleasurable and the painful. All of our past makes us who we are today. And because of that, we will always be wiser today than yesterday. We learn how to be better people with each passing day.
But some scars are deeper than others and finding your boyfriend, the man you love, in bed with another woman is a scar that cuts so deep it can never truly be erased despite all the happiness in the world coming your way. Despite knowing deep within her heart she is indeed head over heels in love with Lane, the past will always have her doubting his motives and that is something I’m not sure I can ever truly help with.
She is thinking that if she does throw all of her trust into this thing with Lane and he turns out to only be attracted to the thrill inside the office walls, what happens then? They work in the same building, they enter the same door, they walk through the same lobby, they may end up in the same elevator more than once a week. How in the hell will she ever recover with him constantly within reach?
I try and flood her with happy juice and give the brain a heads up to fill her full of memories of their weekend at Lane’s beach house. The way he swooped in and rescued her, the way he was so attentive to her needs and vulnerability, his quiet caring and loving side. The way he kissed her lips, both sets. His soft words, his gentle touches, the way he fucked her and the way he gently made love to her, revealing the depths of his feelings without using words.
That weekend certainly wasn’t about a thrill behind office doors or in cold stairwells. It was about a woman and a man no longer able to fight the chemistry between them. That weekend was real, that’s where we met the real Lane Anderson. She needs to remember that, she needs to see that his feelings are as real in the office as they were that weekend. Yes, I admit, his way of showing them now is a little more risqué, but the truth behind his actions is still the same. He wants her in his life.
As much as I pump her with the good stuff, it doesn’t work. The visons of her ex in bed with that barely legal piece of candy keeps playing on repeat in her memories. She was too boring and nice for him, so she thinks there is every chance that Lane may come to that conclusion one day also. And by then, she may not be able to salvage her poor heart.
With that thought, before I even have a chance to come up with a plan, she decides she needs to stop what’s going on between her and Lane completely. Nothing here, there, or in between. It is causing her to not work at her full potential. And if it’s truly meant to be, then after the project is finished and their campaign is a success, they will still have their feelings for each other and the time to pursue them outside of the office. If he really does feel as deeply for her as she hopes, as he has displayed in his own way, he will understand and he will wait. Won’t he?
Oh dear God. I feel this is a big risk. It’s like that saying, ‘If you love someone, set them free, if they come back, be sure to have them tested for STDs.’ Oh fuck, not that one, that’s Mel’s favourite. The other one. ‘If you love someone, set them free, if they come back, it’s meant to be.’ But will she be able to cope if he doesn’t come back? Surely that will hurt more than the possibility of their current situation damaging their careers.
This is all just fucked and not in a good way. I hate this, I hate the thought of her walking away now and Lane deciding not to follow. Big brain and I flood her with memories and feelings of the beach weekend, but it does nothing to change her resolve. She wants to protect her heart and truly feels that her plan is the only way. I really hate that word plan at the moment, that word is fucking everything up for me. I finally found the one and she is sending him away.
BOB is so not getting a rise out of me anytime soon.
Alexis gave herself a talk in the mirror this morning but I tuned her out. I don’t care what she has to say. To save her own heart she is breaking mine in the process and I just don’t know how to deal with it. I feel more out of control at this moment than I have ever felt in my life. Who am I kidding, my life, I don’t have a life apparently. I’m only here to remove a person’s waste, give them pleasure and push out something the size
of a watermelon when the population needs a boost. My feelings are never taken into consideration. Why were we made with lips if they don’t come with a voice? It sucks lemons, I tell you, not that I have actually sucked a lemon, but the rumour is, some women in the Philippines have, along with ping pong balls apparently. Why? Who the hell knows that answer!
I don’t feel up to walking today so I send out tired hormones to make her ride a tram instead. I don’t even care about the squishy crowd or odour coming from the hippy dude next to me. My caring has left me temporarily.
“What’s up, kat?”
“Nothing much. How about you, um, dude?”
“Nothing, until I got a whiff of your girl’s natural smell. She is sweet. Do you taste as sweet as she smells?”
“Well Mr. Dreadlocks, why don’t you shimmy up a little closer and see if you can find out.”
“What the fuck? Seriously? I’ve never had a chick respond to my words as fast as that before. Maybe that weed Jake got for me last night really does have super powers like he said. Hey, maybe I can even stay hard longer than thirty seconds now. Watch out kat, my doggy is coming to play.”
Oh shit! He really is coming for us. His guy pretends to bump into Alexis, mumbling a sorry, but not moving away from her personal space. As much as I was pissed at my girl, I don’t really want to invite strangers to get up in our junk, especially one that smells like a lawnmower that hasn’t been cleaned since last century. This trip is not the holiday I dream about.
“Hey kat. Your girl’s not responding. What are we doing wrong? Fuck, maybe I need to re-boost my superpowers. Hang on, I’ll get my guy to light up another doobie.”
And that’s our sign to get of this ride, man.
After feeling uncomfortable with Mr. Dreadlocks pressing up against her and hopping off two stops early, our uncomfortable feeling doesn’t stop because as we reach our building we can clearly see Mr. Stalker at his usual lookout point at the waterfront. Lexi raises her head and continues to walk confidently towards her building. She will not show her fear or panic at the thoughts that this man may have been her attacker down the laneway.
