by J. Haymore
It’s not just the tension, though. I still haven’t completely recovered from Kyle getting a concussion and falling overboard. Now, peanuts in my coffee—then that reaction...
I’m scared. I’m confused. I don’t know what’s happening, or why, and I am trapped out here, with no way to escape any of it.
Ethan says he has a couple more EpiPens, but mine are still nowhere to be found. The theory that neither of us has spoken about but weighs heavily on my mind is that Mick or Nalani deliberately got rid of my EpiPens before they put peanuts in my coffee somehow. If Ethan hadn’t had his own epinephrine…
What if there are peanuts in everything now? What if someone has rubbed peanut dust over every bit of food on the Temptation?
Needless to say, I haven’t eaten anything today. I’ve only drunk clear, pure water.
Ethan’s fingers stop drumming the tabletop, and his hand closes over mine. He gazes at me, dead serious. “I’m going up on the deck. I want to talk to Mick.”
I blink at him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
I can’t see how, in any way, shape, or form, that’s a good idea. “Are…are you going to accuse him?”
Ethan stares in the direction of the galley, considering. “No. I’m going to ask him some leading questions and see what he says. See how good he is,” he adds bitterly.
My frown deepens. “What makes you so sure about this?”
“Something’s not right. Something’s going on.” He rises all of a sudden. “I need to talk to him. Come up with me, okay? I want to keep an eye on you. And you can distract Kyle.”
We go out onto the deck. Mick and Kyle are on the bridge, Mick working on one of the instruments and Kyle steering, and I go up to them and grab Kyle’s arm. “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”
“Sure.” Kyle sets the autopilot and turns to me, his gaze searching mine as if he’s hopeful I intend to say something he really wants to hear.
I sigh. “Come with me to the cockpit?”
He nods, and we go down to the cockpit and sit on the white leather seats.
We’re quiet for a minute. My attention is focused on Ethan and Mick on the bridge. Ethan has his hands jammed into his jeans pockets, and he appears casual and unaffected. I know the opposite is true.
Mick tilts his head in polite inquiry as Ethan asks him a question. Then he nods and answers.
God, I wish I knew what they were saying.
“What is it, T?” Kyle asks me.
I turn to him and try not to instantly flinch away. He gazes at me with wide, shiny green eyes, his lips parted in a hopeful expression that twists my heart. He’s like a puppy wanting affection. Kyle’s never like this. I want my fun-loving, laid-back friend back.
“I just…” I scramble for something to say. “I just wanted to thank you. For earlier.”
His forehead creases. “What do you mean?”
“For helping me. With the peanut reaction.”
“What did you expect? That I’d just sit there and watch you…” He trails off.
“No,” I say quietly. “I didn’t expect that.”
We sit there in silence for a moment as the Temptation rises and then dips beneath us, although the motion is gentle now, far less violent than in last night’s gale.
“I don’t want to lose you, Ky,” I blurt out.
His lips twist. “That’s not going to happen.”
“But…I’m with Ethan.”
“You know how I feel about that. I told you. It’s not going to last, T. And when it ends, I’ll be there. You know I will.”
“But…what if I can’t…”
“Can’t what?”
“See you as anything beyond a friend?”
His mouth opens, then closes. “I’m willing to work on it. I’ll wait until you’re ready.”
Ready for what? To fall in love with him? He’s got to know that falling in love doesn’t work like that.
The urge to tell Kyle that nothing has changed between us is a strong pull in my chest. But…it would be a lie. Things have changed between us. It was so easy to be with him before, but all day, whenever he’s glanced at me, I see the longing in his eyes that he was so carefully masking before, and it makes me squirm in discomfort.
“Don’t be weird, Kyle,” I say. “Please. You’re still my friend. My best friend. And some strange things have been happening, and I’m scared and I just want to get to Hawaii.” I gaze down at my lap. “I need you right now.”
His hand flexes as if he wants to touch me. He would have before. But now, things are different. I’ll interpret his touch in a different way—we both know it. His fingers curl into a fist. “I’m here,” he says. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I glance back up at Ethan and Mick. They’re still talking. Mick is gesturing widely with his arms, but he doesn’t appear at all perturbed. What are they talking about?
“And I’ll be there in Hawaii, and I’ll be there when we get home,” Kyle says. “I always am.”
“Yes, you are. And have I ever told you how grateful I am to you for that?”
“I don’t want your gratitude.”
I close my eyes. “I know…but it’s there anyway.”
We’re quiet for a long minute. Then, Kyle says, “I’m on watch. I should go back.”
It seems Mick and Ethan’s conversation is winding down too. “Okay,” I say.
His fist opens, and he begins to reach for me, but he stops in mid-action and lowers his hand. He gives me a wry smile. “Okay, then.”
“Thanks again for this morning.”
He snorts, and then he’s gone, heading back to the bridge just as Ethan steps out of it, heading toward me. The two men brush by but don’t acknowledge each other. Not surprising.
Ethan takes my hand and leads me back into the cabin. “Did you learn anything?”
“Nothing concrete,” Ethan says, “but he’s a liar. I asked him what he thought about you—told him that we’d hooked up—and he acted surprised.”
“He knew,” I muse. “The way he kept looking at us. Watching us.” Watching me. I shudder.
“He didn’t say much, but his eyes are shifty. He might be good at acting like a mild-mannered, friendly guy, but he’s a shitty poker player. I know he’s lying.”
“Does he think you suspect him?”
Ethan shrugs. “I don’t know. But he could be even more dangerous if he suspects I might be on to him. I don’t want you alone with him, ever. From now till we get to Honolulu. Understand?”
I nod. Too much has happened for me to blow this off.
He pulls me into his arms and kisses me, long and slow, telling me so much just in the possessive way he holds me. His lips move against mine, making gentle promises.
I care for you.
I’m not going to let anything happen to you.
I want you, Tara.
Chapter Fifteen
When ten p.m. rolls around, I go out on deck to begin my watch. It’s not surprising that Ethan closes his computer and follows me out, even though he’s technically not supposed to be on watch for another hour.
Nalani doesn’t spare a glance for me—she just hands me the logbook and turns away. But I stop her, touching her shoulder. “Wait.”
She turns back. It’s clear she’s trying to keep her expression blank, even professional, but emotions work their way through the shadows in her eyes.
And suddenly, I’m at a loss. My best friend has hurt this woman, and I have no excuses for him. She doesn’t want my sympathy, though. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.
“I’m sorry, Nalani,” I manage awkwardly in a voice too low for Ethan, who’s still in the cockpit, to hear. “I didn’t mean for this—any of it—to happen.”
Her lips begin to twist as if she’s on the verge of saying something sarcastic.
“I don’t feel that way about Kyle,” I assure her, trying to nip whatever she was going to say in the bud. “I never have.”
“Really?” she says. It’s not a “wow, thank you!” really but more of a “you’re so full of bullshit” really.
My eyes flicker to Ethan, then back to her. “I’m with Ethan.”
She snorts, then says bitterly, “Today you’re with Ethan. That’s not going to last.”
Her words feel like a punch to my chest. Both Nalani and Kyle have said this to me. Is it that obvious?
I shake my head, trying to fling off my emotional reaction. “It doesn’t matter how it eventually ends.” The words sound rational and mature, and I give myself a mental pat on the back for that. “What matters is that I’m with him now. I just wanted to let you know that there’s nothing going on between me and Kyle.”
“But there will be.”
My brows draw tightly together over my eyes. “No, there won’t.”
“Come on,” she scoffs. “You’re too close. Men and women can’t be that close without there being something sexual between them.”
“Of course they can.” But I don’t even sound convincing to my own ears. I can’t stop thinking about the physicality of our relationship that Ethan was talking about last night. Because he’s right—it’s not completely normal. How could I have overlooked that?
“I thought it would be okay. I hoped that maybe I was wrong about the two of you, even though I knew better. I knew better! But”—she rolls her eyes—“I was stupid. God. That fucking asshole and his fucking sexy charm. He made me trust him. He made me—” She breaks off abruptly, then straightens, every muscle in her face seeming to freeze in place. “You need to be on watch now,” she says tightly. “The sails are luffing.”
She spins around and walks away. Striding through the cockpit, she doesn’t acknowledge Ethan at all. After she disappears through the companionway, Ethan makes his way to me.
He doesn’t ask what our conversation was about. I suppose he can guess. But his silence on the subject is fine by me. I really don’t want to talk about it.
Instead, he helps me adjust the sails, then go through the routine of logging our position and checking all the instruments as well as our course to ensure everything’s as it should be.
Finally, Ethan sits in the captain’s chair and pulls me onto his lap. “How are you?” he murmurs.
I wrap my arms around his neck and look up into his handsome face, and for the millionth time, I’m struck by the unreality of a man this gorgeous gazing down at me with something I can only describe as…adoration.
“Better,” I murmur. Now that his arms are around me. So much better.
He presses a gentle kiss to my lips. “That—this morning—might have been the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“It was scary for me too.” Not the scariest thing I’ve ever been through, though, which is kind of a sad commentary on my history.
We lapse into silence, and I try to weigh the fright factors of the defining scary moments in my life. I must be a magnet for scariness. The first anaphylactic reaction to peanuts. My parents’ death. The accident. The convenience store robbery and the Good Samaritan who took a bullet aimed right for my heart.
The accident.
I close my eyes at the wash of memories. Emily and I talking about her “fantastically wonderful” new boyfriend I’m going to meet for the first time. I’m teasing her about how this is her hundred and ninety-seventh “fantastically wonderful” boyfriend. We’re speeding down PCH at seventy miles an hour. Then, Emily pressing frantically on the brake pedal over and over again and screaming, “Hold on, Tara!”
Hitting the curve…spinning out of control. Tumbling, my body thrashing around like I’m in a blender. Then the crushing pain in my leg…and heat—scorching, blinding heat…and nothing but blackness until I woke up in the hospital late the next day.
Ethan squeezes me tighter but says nothing. He seems to understand. He’s the first person besides Aunt Jo and Kyle who really gets me.
I lay my head on his shoulder. “I’m glad you were there. When you’re with me, everything seems…better. And easier.”
He sighs and nuzzles my hair, and I relax against him. I’ve been so jacked up on the epinephrine and my own natural adrenaline, this is the first time I’ve felt calm all day.
There will be no sex on the deck tonight. I’d fantasized about it, but that was before Kyle watched us two nights ago. There’s no way in hell it’ll be happening now. But even though every nerve in my body is already standing up and paying attention to my proximity to Ethan, I’m okay with another night of talking and cuddling.
More than okay with it. And if Kyle watches the whole time, fine. It might even be a good thing. He needs a firm reminder that I’m with Ethan, and I have no desire to be anywhere but in his arms.
By the time Kyle appears a few hours later to take over the watch, Ethan and I are on the trampoline, sitting shoulder to shoulder, talking about tacos. Specifically, about the best taco stand in LA. I say it’s Tito’s Tacos, but Ethan claims that place offers the most unauthentic Mexican food in the city. He rattles off a few that he likes downtown, but he’s wrong. Tito’s was where my dad used to take me when I was a little girl, and it’ll always be the best taco place in the world for me, hands-down.
We both feel the trampoline dip under someone’s weight, and we turn to see Kyle coming toward us. His face is blank, fortunately. I don’t want to deal with his jealousy—whatever it is—right now.
Ethan touches my shoulder. “You’re tired.”
“A little.” Actually, I’m exhausted. My eyelids feel like they weigh a thousand pounds. It’s been a hell of a day.
“I don’t want to leave you alone.”
“I’ll be all right. It’s only two hours.”
He hesitates. “Okay. But I’m walking you down. And you’ll be sleeping in my cabin, not yours. Open the hatch. I’m going to spend the rest of my watch on deck next to it, so I’ll be able to see and hear you if you need me.” As he stands and reaches down to help me up, he says to Kyle, “I’ll be right back.”
Kyle acknowledges this with a grunt.
Ethan follows me down into the port-side hull, searching my cabin area, then his, and a weird sort of giddiness tickles at my chest because he’s checking out the area like he’s a cop. His protectiveness is so endearing. In any other circumstance, I’d throw my arms around him and kiss him senseless. But when he walks out of the bathroom area and gestures me inside, his expression is serious. “Go on in. It’s safe.”
Brushing my teeth, I consider Nalani’s role in this—and if she even has one. Nalani does have a reason to hate me, but even so, the slick on the deck happened before Kyle made his crazy confession.
Unless she knew Kyle was in love with me before that…
No way. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but for 99.99 percent, or more, of the population, it’s not enough to make a person want to murder the object of their jealousy. Nalani has always struck me as sane and competent and fair, so it just doesn’t add up.
Truth is, I don’t want to think Nalani is capable of something like this. I really, really don’t want to. I can’t.
Which turns the focus straight back onto Mick. Who doesn’t have a motive like Nalani does, but there’s something about him…
I finish brushing my teeth and join Ethan, who’s in his cabin. “All ready?” His gaze rakes me up and down, making me feel naked, even though I’m wearing my pajamas—soft, pinstriped cotton shorts, and a matching button-up shirt.
The way his eyes focus on me is so hot, the instinctual, cavewoman part of me starts insisting I drag him into the bed and have my wicked way with him. Instead, I smile. “Yes.”
I climb in when he turns down the covers. Leaning over me, he gives me a kiss good-night that’s so long and so erotic, I’m panting before he pulls back. He gazes down at me, smirking. He knows exactly what he’s done to me.
“Look at you,” I murmur. “So smug.”
“I just like you there in my bed,” he says. “Your eyes shining and your cheek
s flushed and your hair haloing your face like that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful. Or so sexy.”
“Mmmm…” I close my eyes for a moment as his words wash over me.
He reaches over and unlatches the hatch over the bed and pushes up the Plexiglas until it’s cracked open. A soft, tropical breeze instantly washes through the cabin.
“Good night,” he murmurs. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours. But if you need me, I’ll be right up there”—he gestures to the hatch—“watching over you.”
He gives me a chaste kiss on my cheek and then he’s gone, back up on deck to serve the remainder of his watch time with Kyle.
I wrap the covers around me. After a few minutes, there’s a tap tap on the Plexiglas overhead, and Ethan’s fingers drop down through the crack. I reach up until our fingertips touch briefly. Then, smiling, I lower my hand and curl up on my side. The bed smells like Ethan, clean and masculine. I feel safe with him watching over me like this, and it only takes a few minutes before the motion of the boat rocks me to sleep.
It seems like just a few moments later when I awaken in a foggy haze of comfort, a warm body pressing against my back. Ethan, I think contentedly. “Is it three already?” I murmur, my voice heavy with sleep.
“Mmm-hmm.”
He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me to him, my butt to his groin. We’re spooning, and I’ve never felt anything as delicious as Ethan pressed to my backside. I wiggle, growing more alert by the second as awareness of his body against mine crawls through me.
His erection presses against my bottom—a long, hard rod. I moan softly and move, rubbing myself against him, earning a mirroring groan from him. His hand moves up under my pajama top, his palm sliding up the bare skin of my sternum, then cupping my breast.
He strokes me, passing his fingers over my nipple again and again, squeezing gently until the sensations are too strong, and I roll over in his arms and press my lips to his.
The kiss lasts for several minutes, swallowing me whole. There’s nothing else but Ethan and his wicked mouth and his hands all over me, touching my sensitized skin everywhere he can reach.
