Before Lashaundra could say anything, I was out the door, down the steps, and running for home. I wanted to wake Daddy up and ask him if it was true, if Mr. Parker had offered him a permanent job. And why he’d said no. But of course I couldn’t, not without telling on Lashaundra.
“Hey!” Emma looked up in surprise when the door slammed closed behind me. “I thought you were hanging out with Lashaundra.”
“She has to run errands with her mom, and I have that paper I’m supposed to do.”
I avoided her eyes as I pulled off my coat.
“That paper isn’t due for two weeks,” she said. I could feel her eyes on me.
“Did you two have an argument?” Her voice was gentle.
I shook my head, squeezing back tears.
“Jenny, what’s wrong?”
I felt her hands on my shoulders and turned to lean into her arms.
“Daddy got offered a job, a real job,” I said, letting the tears finally come. “And he didn’t take it.”
“What?” She drew back to look me in the face. “I think you’ve heard something wrong, honey. Your dad didn’t get the job.”
“He did,” I said, struggling to keep my voice low. “Lashaundra’s dad told her he did. Mr. Parker offered him a job and we could have stayed here and I could have lived by Lashaundra and gone to school and not lived in a trailer anymore!”
“Oh, Jenny.” Her voice was calming, soothing. “I’m sure Lashaundra got it wrong. Your dad told us he didn’t get the job. And it’s okay, honey. We’ll go to Florida and it will be warm and sunny there and you’ll make new friends.”
I let her shush me for a while, then pulled away from her, gathered my laptop and books, and climbed into my alcove to work on school stuff, anything to keep from thinking about why Daddy had turned down a job, a real job, a permanent job in a place where we could stay, a place where I knew people and they knew me, a place where I had a real friend.
18
Emma
I prowled around the trailer in silence all day, waiting for Brannon to wake up. Jenny stayed in her bed, working on the computer, not talking and not looking at me even once. I felt claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in on me. Surely Jenny was mistaken. Or Lashaundra was mistaken. Or Michael was mistaken. Surely Brannon hadn’t turned down a full-time, permanent position.
I took my cell phone outside and called Resa at the diner.
“Hey, can you find someone to cover my shift tonight?” It was a Thursday. Brannon would be off work for the next three days.
“Sure, honey,” she said. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” I lied. “Just tired and feeling a little bit puny.”
“I’ll call Merilee,” she said. “She’s been wanting more hours. You just relax and take a nap and enjoy some time with that hunk of a man of yours.”
“Thanks, Resa.”
I went back inside, shivering from the bitter cold, and resumed pacing the narrow aisle of the trailer. What had felt like a cozy little home in the summer had become a kind of prison with the onset of winter.
Sometime late in the afternoon, Brannon emerged from our bedroom, rubbing sleep from his eyes.
“Hey, you,” he said, nuzzling my neck. “I thought you’d be at work by now.”
“Merilee needed more hours,” I said. “So I let her take my shift.”
“Hey, pumpkin.” He smiled at Jenny, who was still stretched out on her bed, pecking away at the laptop. “What are you up to?”
“School stuff,” she said, not raising her eyes from the computer.
Brannon lifted his gaze to me and shrugged slightly.
“Everything okay?” he said, softly enough so that Jenny couldn’t hear.
“It’s all good,” I said, smiling at him. God, he was so beautiful. “I’m thinking I’ll make stew for dinner. How does that sound?”
“That sounds good.” He kissed me and disappeared into the bathroom.
Jenny was silent all evening, not even smiling at her dad’s jokes when we sat down for dinner.
“What’s up with you?” he finally asked.
“When are we going to Florida?” Her voice was flat, her eyes fixed firmly on her plate.
“Probably the week after next,” he said. “I’ve got to finish out next week, and then we’ll head south.”
I rose and began picking up plates and piling them in the sink.
“You’ll like Florida.” Brannon’s voice was easy and cajoling. “It’ll be sunny and warm. And maybe we’ll get some comp passes to Disney World. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
Finally, Jenny looked up from the table and met his eyes, unflinching.
“I’d rather stay here with Lashaundra.”
“I’m sorry, honey. It just didn’t work out this time.”
She rose from the table and grabbed her parka from the hook by the door.
“Can I go to Lashaundra’s?” she asked, looking to me for permission.
“Sure,” I said. “As long as it’s okay with Angel.”
She left without another word. Brannon stared at the door and then turned to me.
“Seriously,” he said, confused. “What’s wrong with her? Do you think she’s getting ready to start her period or something? Isn’t she still too young for that?”
I smiled and shook my head. I sat down beside him at the table and took his hand.
“Lashaundra told her today that you’d been offered a permanent job at the warehouse, and that you turned it down. I told her Lashaundra must be wrong or something. But I don’t think she believed me.”
“Oh.” He leaned back, his face impassive, and stretched his arms. “I wondered if that was it.”
I sat in silence for a minute, then turned to him.
“So, is it true? Did you get offered a permanent position?”
“Yeah.” He nodded, rubbing his neck.
“And you turned it down?”
“Yeah, I did. Hey, babe, could you get me a beer?”
I didn’t move, and after an instant he turned to look at me. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I felt my stomach clench.
He sighed. “Oh, babe, it’s just a job, a crap job. There’ll be other jobs. Besides, it’s on the day shift, and that pays a dollar an hour less. That’s forty dollars a week less than I’m making now.”
“But . . .” I stammered, stopped, took a deep breath. “But why didn’t you at least talk to me about it? I mean, we’re a couple, right? I thought we made decisions together. That’s what couples do, right?”
He smiled and put his arm around my shoulders.
“Sure we’re a couple. We’re solid,” he said, his voice tired and flat. “But it’s my job and my decision. Besides, you and Jenny will love Florida.”
I rose abruptly, pulling away from his arm.
“It’s your job, yes. But where we live and whether we stay or go, those are things we should decide together, Brannon. And Jenny . . .”
“Jenny is my daughter.” His voice was low and firm. “I decide what’s best for her. I’ve taken care of her for the past eleven years, and she’s doing just fine.”
“But, Brannon . . .” I sat down opposite him and leaned across the table toward him, reaching for his hands. “Jenny really wants to stay here. She wants to be near Lashaundra. She wants a real house. She wants friends. She wants to go to school.”
“Jenny is a kid,” he said, not taking my hands. “She doesn’t know what’s best for her. I’m her dad. I make those decisions.”
“But what about me?” I asked, shaking my head. “I’ve got my job at the diner. I’ve made friends here. I like it here.”
“Then stay,” he said, rising from the table, his voice and his face expressionless. “Stay if you want to, but Jenny and I are going to Florida.”
I felt like I’d been slapped, like I’d had the wind knocked out of me. I stared up at him, letting the tears drip down my cheeks.
“I thought you loved me,” I whispered.
“I love you, Emma,” he said, just before he closed the door behind him. He didn’t turn to look at me. “But I’m the man in this family, and I make the decisions for my daughter. If you can’t live with that . . . well, then maybe we aren’t a couple like I thought.”
I sat for a long time at the table, my shoulders shaking, my eyes streaming. A million possibilities ran through my head. I could go back to Idaho. I still had my car. I could go back and ask Boyd to hire me again. But he probably wouldn’t, not now that I was pregnant. I couldn’t work with the horses while I was pregnant.
I could stay in Campbellsville and keep working at the diner. But that didn’t pay enough to live on, especially not with a baby. Not even if Harlan took me on full-time.
And could I really leave Brannon? Could I leave Jenny? They were the only family I had now, the only family I’d had for a long time. I loved them.
I cried until my head ached. And after what felt like a long time, I rose, walked to the bedroom, and pulled open the accordion door.
Brannon was lying on the bed, paging through an old issue of Time. He looked up at me, set the magazine on the nightstand, and said nothing.
“I’m pregnant,” I said quietly. I didn’t say anything else, just that.
The knowledge settled between us like a silent explosion in the room, in our lives, in the universe.
He stared at me for a long minute, his face unreadable.
“You’re what?”
“I’m pregnant, Brannon. I’m going to have a baby.”
For another long minute, I waited, wondering if he would kick me out right then and there.
“Are you sure?” He rose, walked to me, and took my hands.
I nodded.
“Oh, babe!”
He wrapped his arms around me tightly and lifted me off my feet. “Emma, baby . . . that’s great! How far along are you? Why didn’t you tell me? Do you feel okay? Here . . .” He lowered me back to my feet and pulled me to sit beside him on the bed. “Sit down. Are you okay? Are you sick? . . . God, a baby! Emma, that’s so great!”
I started crying again. I leaned into his chest and sobbed great, heaving, gulping sobs.
“Oh, babe, it’s okay. You’re okay. We’re okay,” he crooned.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d think,” I mumbled into his chest. “I thought maybe you’d be mad, that maybe you wouldn’t want another kid, that . . . I don’t know.”
“Are you kidding?” He tilted my chin up and kissed my nose, his face lit up like the Christmas tree we’d just packed away. “A baby that’s half you and half me, Emma, that’s . . . that’s perfect. Oh my God, Jenny will go bananas!”
I smiled at him and thought what a mess I probably looked, with a red, runny nose and red, weepy eyes. I was grateful, so grateful that he wanted the baby, that he still wanted me. But the way he could go from happy to angry and then angry to happy again in zero flat . . . that confused me. That always confused me.
“So, are you feeling okay?” he asked again, his eyes crinkling in a worried kind of smile.
“I’m fine,” I said, my arms wrapped across my belly. “Just tired and kind of scared . . . or not scared, more nervous, I guess.”
“Did you see a doctor yet?”
I shook my head and bit my lip. Then I took a deep breath and plunged in.
“Brannon, we don’t have insurance.”
He said nothing, so I went on.
“If you took the job with Amazon here, we would have insurance. And we could move out of this trailer and into an apartment big enough for us and Jenny and the baby.”
Still he said nothing. And, afraid to spoil the moment, I stayed quiet.
After a minute, he rose and walked out of the bedroom. I sat on the bed silently, waiting, willing him to come back. And in a minute he was back, carrying a big glass of milk.
“Okay,” he said, smiling as he held the glass toward me. “Okay then, we’ll stay.”
Tears filled my eyes yet again and I bowed my head, not wanting him to see me cry all over again.
“Hey,” he said, his voice low, “it’s all good, babe. We’ll stay here in Campbellsville. We’ll put Jenny in school. We’ll get insurance and we’ll get a crib and diapers and a car seat and . . . and whatever else we need.”
He kneeled before the bed and took my hands in his, squeezing them tightly.
“We’ll get married, Emma. We’ll be a real family, and we’ll be happy. Is that what you want?”
I could only nod and cry. The lump in my throat was too big to get any words out.
He wrapped his arms around me and I cried into them. When I finally looked into his face, I was surprised to see tears running down his cheeks. My heart clenched and my breath caught in my chest. This was real. This was actually happening. I was finally going to have the family I’d always wanted with a man I loved beyond belief.
“I’ll go in tomorrow and tell Parker I want the job,” he said. “I hope it’s still available.”
I nodded again.
“And then we’ll go to the courthouse and we’ll get married.”
I stared at him, trying to take it all in.
“That’s okay, right?” he asked. “I mean, there’s no reason to wait, is there?”
Again I nodded. I felt so full of love and happiness and sheer gratitude, I almost couldn’t breathe.
I reached for his hand and pulled him toward me as I rose, kissing his face, still wet with tears. We both stood, crying against each other. Then I fell back onto the bed and opened my arms.
“Come here,” I whispered.
He smiled and lay down beside me, kissing my forehead and then my cheeks.
“I love you, Brannon.”
“I love you, too.”
I nestled against him, running my hand across his chest, then allowing it to drift toward the zipper on his jeans. He rolled slightly away from me.
“What’s wrong?”
“You’re pregnant, babe.”
“I know,” I said, smiling. “That doesn’t mean I’m untouchable.”
He raised himself onto an elbow and caressed my cheek gently.
“I think we should wait until you talk to a doctor,” he said. “We don’t want to do anything to hurt the baby.”
“But . . .” I began.
“Shhhh,” he whispered, holding my body against his. “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be great, babe. I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of you and our baby.”
I sighed, relaxing into him.
“God,” he said, and even his voice seemed to be smiling. “I can’t wait to tell Jenny.”
19
Jenny
I didn’t go home the next morning. I was so mad at Daddy that I didn’t want to see him. And I didn’t want to hear Emma tell me that I must be wrong about the job.
Lashaundra knew the truth and I knew the truth. We’d both cried before we went to sleep the night before. But we couldn’t even talk about it, because I didn’t want to get her in trouble for telling me. So we just pretended everything was okay. Every once in a while, I could see Mrs. Johnson watching us, her forehead wrinkled. I knew she was worried. And I wished for the millionth time that she was my mother, that I had a mother.
Finally, not too long after we ate lunch, I had to go home. Mr. Johnson worked the same schedule as my dad, four nights on and three off. He had the day off so he got up early, and they were all going into town. I almost asked if I could go with them, but I knew I had to go home.
I opened the door to the trailer, and Emma was standing there in front of me, a big grin on her face.
“We’re staying!” she said. Then she scooped me into a hug so tight I almost couldn’t breathe.
“What?” I pulled away and looked up at her. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes sparkled.
“Your dad is going to talk to Mr. Parker today, to take the job. We’re going to sta
y here in Campbellsville with the Johnsons. And you can go to school!”
I stared at her in disbelief, willing myself to believe her but not really accepting what she said.
“But Daddy . . .”
“We talked last night.” Emma pulled my coat off and hung it on a hook. “And it’s all settled. Your dad is taking the job and we’ll stay here and look for an apartment, or maybe even a house to rent. Wouldn’t that be great, a house with a yard and everything?”
I couldn’t say anything at first. I felt numb. And then I started shaking, first my hands and then my whole self.
“Seriously?” It was all I could croak out.
She nodded, smiling like her face might just split in two.
I leaned into her arms and hugged her. Could it really be true? Were we finally going to stay in one place, not live in the trailer anymore? Was I finally going to have a friend I didn’t have to leave? Was I really going to school?
“Hey, pumpkin!”
I looked around Emma to see Daddy standing in the doorway to the bedroom. He was smiling, too.
“Are we really staying?”
“We really are.” Daddy knelt down and opened his arms and I ran into them. He rested his chin on top of my head and held me for a long minute while I tried hard not to cry.
“Are you sure?” I had to ask, even though it felt mean. I had to be sure.
“Well,” he said, standing up and pulling on his jacket, “as long as the offer’s still good. I’m heading over to talk to Parker now.”
“But what if it’s not?” I stammered, suddenly sure the job offer was gone.
“It will be,” he said, smiling again. “Trust me, Jenny. He wants me. I just have to say yes.”
He kissed Emma and left, the metal door slamming behind him.
I stood a minute, just taking it all in. We were staying in Kentucky. We would live in an apartment instead of the trailer, or maybe even a house. I would see Lashaundra every day, not just for the next week but for forever.
Then I turned to look at Emma. She was sitting at the table, her hands curled around a coffee cup, watching me.
“So . . .” she said, just before I ran and threw myself at her. She hugged me and held me while I cried and laughed and shook all over.
The Seventh Mother Page 10
