Undeterred, he nuzzles my hand. His tongue slips under my palm, through my fingers and I finally move it away. He presses tiny kisses along the jagged line, his lashes black and long as he moves. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, God yes,” I moan. I stroke his hair, before he moves lower, tugging at the top of my shorts with his teeth.
He spreads my legs apart, his mouth now on the sensitive skin of my inner thigh. “And this?”
“Mmmm.” I’m incoherent now. It’s been so long since I’ve let anyone touch me that every place he explores with his teeth, tongue and mouth feels raw. Exposed. Decadent.
My hips move, restless and wanting pressure between my thighs. I’m soaked. I know I have to be, because I’m on the verge of coming and we’ve just started.
Oh God, what have I started? I’ve felt this before, acted on this before and it landed me right on my back before. Twice. Equally devastated by the aftermath.
“Stop,” I gasp and grab his wrist, inches away from the laced edging of my panties. “Please, stop. I can’t. I’m sorry…I thought I could, but I can’t.”
His forehead drops to my chest. He’s panting, like me. “S’kay. Don’t apologize.”
Rolling away from him, I sit up and adjust my clothes. I’m aching and empty, desire and self-preservation fighting a battle I end up losing. “This was a mistake.”
“Don’t say that.”
Shaking my head, I throw everything back into the picnic basket. “I didn’t come to North Carolina to hook up with anyone.”
“Things happen.”
For some reason his words infuriate me and I turn on him, shoving a finger in his chest. “Things don’t just happen,” I snap. “We make decisions. Those decisions have outcomes, called consequences. Make bad decisions, reap bad consequences. It’s how things are. It’s why you’re stuck here, raising your sister while your mom’s in rehab for the millionth time, and your dad’s doing God knows what, God knows where.” I did not just say that. I want to snatch the words back, but I can’t. No delete button exists.
He captures my wrist, his face dark and his brows crashed together. “What the hell do you know about reaping bad consequences? Regret buying a Porsche over the Beemer? Poor little rich girl.” He lets go of my wrist and stands. “Take your high and mighty attitude, along with your privileged existence, and shove it up your ass, Violet Lynn.”
Then he strides away, slamming his fist into some helpless tree along the way and I flinch. He curses, long and loud. At me or the pain, I’m not sure. Then he crosses the creek and disappears on his side of the woods.
I grab the basket and start after him. Wishing I could make things right. Wishing I could say just the right thing. “Cole? Don’t go. Please, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean those nasty things I said about your parents.” My heart is pounding hard as I race after him, but after ten minutes, I’m losing my way. I stop.
He’s gone.
And it’s all my fault.
*** *** ***
Cole
Waiting until Rae makes her way safely across the creek, I finally start walking home. I’d almost gone to her, when she’d cried out my name. She’d sounded so pitiful. So genuinely sorry.
But her words had hit too close to home for me. It’s not her fault though. She can’t help that everything about her other life (what little I do know) reminds me of the man I loathe. The man who should have taken care of his responsibilities, instead of forgetting about us and starting a new family.
Not that she would know. For the past four days, we’ve danced around the real us, settling for the façade we want the other to believe, like she’s just some ordinary girl who loves pixie sticks and the color yellow. While who we really are lurk below the surface, waiting to get out. Only a part of me got out and had Rae on her back. A few minutes more and I would have been inside of her.
Jesus.
She’d tasted so fucking good. Her breasts fit in my palms so perfectly. Nipples just the right size for sucking and biting. That scar on her stomach I had to kiss, to let her know that I didn’t find it repulsive, that it was the mark of a survivor. And her thighs, the scent of her arousal and her soaking wet shorts. I’d done that to her. I grow hard again as those precious few minutes re-play in my mind. Tonight will be yet another cold shower.
I’m not sure why she stopped. I don’t think it’s because she’s never been with a guy before, though that kind of thing doesn’t matter to me. Honestly, I avoid virgins at all costs. Leave them to someone with more patience and time.
And Rae had seemed just as impatient as I had been. She’d seemed just as into it. But when a woman says stop, I stop. No ifs, ands, or buts.
My phone buzzes. I check it. Madison, with her usual lonely greeting. It would be too easy to go to her, to take out my sexual frustration on her body and ease my mind. Ease this raging lust.
But I’m not sure I want to replace the sweet taste of Rae with another. At least not today.
Can’t. Busy. Some other time?
Sure. xo
I need time. I need space. Too much, too fast. This weekend I’ll hang out with the boys: go to Lacey’s rally with Wyatt. Hang out with Parker and give Beau a hard time. The usual, but without the weight of managing the bar. One of The Double Deuce’s longtime employees, Jane Finch, has stepped up and I’m giving her a chance to show me she has what it takes. I’m rooting for her to succeed, because I need the extra help.
I stride toward my house.
Jane knows the ins and outs of the bar as well as my brother and I do. And she’s not afraid to deal with the bullshit that goes along with it. Besides, Tony, our part-time bartender, will be there as well as Officer Ford. Ford had informed me last night that he was stopping by.
I’ll be out of cherries before the night is out. Mooching bastard.
***
I sit on the edge of Kelly’s bed, once again reading The Princess Bride as her eyes grow sleepy. Her room is pale pink, with matching sheets. Barbie dolls are neatly in their place. All three of them. I wish I could do more for her. I wish I had the fucking money to buy that perfect doll mansion or condo or whatever the hell it’s called that she’d seen in Wal-Mart.
Next Tuesday, she’ll start dance. Her new leotard, as she informed me it’s called, hangs on the door of her closet, tiny ballet slippers beneath. She’s so careful with her stuff. So thankful and grateful. I suppose it’s a good thing, but a part of me wishes she’d act like a brat every once in a while, because I’m afraid she thinks that if she’s not good all of the time, that Parker and I will leave her, too.
“Cole,” she says, sleepy voice matching those eyes.
“What?”
“When’s Momma coming home?”
I exhale. Once a week either Parker or I get this question. “Soon, Bug. She’s getting all healthy right now.”
Kelly smiles, a tooth missing from the top. “She’ll love watching me dance like a fairy tale princess searching for her prince.”
The only thing my mother loves is Prince Valium. “Yeah, she will.” Then I tell Kelly to close her eyes so we can say prayers. I kiss her goodnight and leave the room, making sure the light in the bathroom is on for her, if she needs it.
Sitting down on the couch in the living room, I roll my head to one side then the other, logging onto my class and finishing up my assignment. By the time I’m done, it’s almost midnight and Parker still hasn’t made it home.
I grab my phone and text him. He answers, saying he’s staying with a friend. Park’s been doing that a lot lately. I can’t decide if I’m happy for him, or if I resent he automatically thinks I have everything covered.
I chuck my phone on the coffee table, grab a pack of cigarettes, a lighter and head out to the back porch. It’s gotten cooler and cooler every night. In a couple of weeks, I’ll have to start dressing Kelly in fall clothes.
If she still fits in her fall clothes. Shit.
I take a drag and plop down on the ste
ps. Just one break. Please… not for me but for Kelly, I silently pray. But of course no one’s listening. Especially Him. God, if he exists, left my family a long time ago.
Chapter Twelve
Violet
Nana hands me the phone. I stare at it, like she’s just given me a snake. I know who’s on the line, but I have no desire to talk to her. No desire to hear the update on my future brother or sister.
I take a deep breath and say, “Hello?”
“Don’t you think it’s time to come home, honey? We miss you.” My father’s voice rumbles over the line. I haven’t spoken to him for over a month now. My hands tremble. I’ve missed talking to him.
“Hi, Daddy. I miss y’all, too,” I can’t help but say.
He sighs. “Hi, Violet. How are you?” Trust him to fall back on the manners his mother raised him with.
“Fine, thank you.” I sit down in a chair, then stand back up again. “I’m not ready to come home, yet.”
“But you will come back?”
“Eventually,” I say, then glance down at my cell. It’s almost time for Lacey to pick me up.
“Your mother—”
“She’s doing okay, I hope,” I interrupt.
“She misses you. Just like I do.”
I press my forehead against the cool wall. “I miss y’all too.”
My dad is silent and for that I’m grateful. “Violet…” His breath catches. “Be safe, honey, and enjoy your time with Nana. I know she loves you’re there with her.”
I smack the wall with my palm, softly. Once, twice then a third time. My entire body shakes. I want to go home, but I can’t. Too many memories. Tears burn in my eyes. My throat is thick with them. “’Kay. Love you, Daddy. Momma, too.” I have to end this phone call, before I’m too emotional to enjoy a night out.
***
Lacey rams a girl wearing fishnet tights and a skull t-shirt. I cheer and high five the guy sitting beside me. Lacey introduced him as her good friend Wyatt Tanaka right before the game started.
Good friend? I saw the way she looked at him. The way she smiled and hung on his every word. Lacey’s not fooling me.
“She’s a beast out there,” he yells over the crowd. More than a few women check him out.
Wyatt is beautiful. There’s no other word for him. He has inky black hair and sexy dark brown eyes, face perfect with high cheekbones and full lips. I can’t help but compare him to Cole. He’s about the same height, nearly as filled out, but where Cole’s arms are free of tattoos, Wyatt has full sleeves.
Best thing about him though: He looks at Lacey like she’s his entire world. It’s why I don’t mind sitting with him, while he waits for his buddy to show up. I’ve never seen two people deny who they want to be with so much, with the whole we’re-just-good-friends routine.
“Usually Cole’s on time. Don’t know what’s keeping him,” he says as the ref blows a whistle and we sit. “Something with the bar I bet. I’ll text him to be sure.”
Cole? Bar? Cold washes over me, followed by a wave of heat. I suck down the rest of my water and twist back on the cap. It can’t be the same guy. But how many Cole’s that either work or manage a bar in Forrestville could there be?
“There he is,” Wyatt says, then shouts Cole’s name and waves him over.
Heat spreads over my face and down my chest. Cole hasn’t spotted me. Yet. I stand, ready to excuse myself, but Cole bounds up the bleachers, his blue eyes lighting on me. They flash, gaze slicing from me to Wyatt. His face turns red and his full lips thin.
“Oh God,” I croak.
“Dude, Lacey is on fire tonight,” Wyatt says as Cole joins us.
“Who’s your date?” Cole asks.
I fume, crossing my arms over my chest. So that’s how he wants to be? He wants to pretend like he doesn’t know me? That yesterday he didn’t have his damn tongue down my throat or his hands all over my body? God, how could I have been so wrong about him?
Wyatt doesn’t notice any of this though. Lacey’s back on the track, large white star on her helmet and he’s concentrating on her. “This is Lacey’s friend, Rae. She’s visiting her grandmother.” He lets out a piercing whistle and then claps. “That’s my girl.”
The redness fades from Cole’s face, his eyes less bright. He turns his attention to the rally, ignoring me and cheering for Lacey. Of course I’ve found the one girl in the entire town that’s already friends with him. Just my luck.
For the rest of the time I watch and cheer Lacey on. She’s so confident out there, in her plaid skirt and bright pink shirt. She waves at the crowd, getting them to stand up and cheer harder.
I don’t look Cole’s way, though I feel his eyes on me more than once. My stupid body is all too happy about that.
Finally, the ref blows the whistle again and Lacey’s team skates out onto the track, shouting, hugging and fist bumping. They’ve won. Wyatt shouts for Lacey once more and she glances up at us, a smile on her pretty face.
Not until Wyatt leaves to go wait for Lacey at the locker room entrance and I shuffle behind does Cole finally speak to me.
“Slumming with the regular folks, huh?”
I step to the side, out of the way of the mass of people leaving, and turn to face him. “Now you know me? Wow. Way to be an ass, Cole.”
“You weren’t exactly greeting me with open arms, Rae.”
Rae not Violet. I take comfort in that. Yeah, he’s still perturbed at me, but it’s waned a little. “Open arms? Are you actually listening to yourself? I didn’t get the chance to say anything before you opened your big mouth.”
*** *** ***
Cole
I scrub my hand over my face. What’s wrong with me? I’m being a total asshole to her. Jealousy is not an emotion I’m familiar with, but apparently it has decided to become besties.
“Look. I’m not here to give you a hard time. I was a little shocked to see you.” Actually, I hadn’t expected to see Rae here at all. And for damn sure hadn’t expected to see her standing next to my best friend.
“And I’m not here to see you at all. I came to cheer for Lacey.”
“You’re friends with her?” This is news to me. Does Lacey know who Rae really is?
Rae’s lips flatten, her gaze skittering away. “Something like that.”
She’s lying, but I’m not sure why. “How long have you known Lacey?”
“A couple of hours,” she mumbles.
Hours? “Excuse me?”
“If you must know, my grandmother set us up. She wanted me to make friends while I’m here.”
“Does Lacey know that?”
Big blue eyes lock with mine. Her nose scrunches up. “Well, yeah. It’s why we’re in a public place for our first playdate.”
I snort, then laugh. She’s got to be yanking my chain.
“It’s not funny, Cole.”
I laugh harder, until I see the look on her face. Her eyes are all shiny and her cheeks are bright red. Her lower lip trembles and I stroke my finger across it, my laughter gone. “Hey, don’t cry.”
She wraps her arms around her stomach, like she’s trying to hold herself together. “I’m not crying.” She sniffs and swallows. “I’m pathetic. I don’t know how to talk to people, I insult the one person who is nice to me and my nana’s arranging meet cutes, because I can’t go on Facebook to make female friends.”
“Don’t talk about yourself like that.” I pull her into a dimly lit corner.
“It’s the truth,” she whispers.
I crook a finger under her chin, lifting it up. “You’re just out of practice.” I kiss her forehead. She leans into me, her slender arms coming around my neck. I wrap mine around her waist, bring her flush against me. She’s soft and sweet in my arms, smelling of flowery shampoo.
“I’m sorry for the mean things I said to you,” she whispers against my throat. “Let me make it up to you by baking another apology cake.”
“How about an apology kiss?” I ask and she nods. Then
her mouth is on my skin, kissing a path up to mine.
I close my eyes the minute her lips touch my mouth. Her tongue traces the seam and I part my lips, letting her inside and then sucking on that full bottom lip of hers. I wedge a knee between her thighs and she presses down.
My hands go up her shirt, once again finding her without a bra and I bring them around front to cup her breasts. “No bra again?” I groan. “Are you trying to kill me?” Her nipples harden against my palm. I want them in my mouth.
“No… I’m small.”
I pinch her nipples, eliciting a whimper from her. “You’re just right.” Then I roll them between my fingers and tug.
She moans, her hands doing their own exploration under my shirt.
If we weren’t in public, I’d take her against this wall. Instead I wrestle for control of my raging lust, but she begins moving against my leg, little whimpers filling my ears.
“Come home with me, Rae,” I growl. “Let me make up for being as ass.”
She nods, her hips moving faster. “Please.” But I’m not sure if she means take her home or make her come. Glancing around, I check to make sure no one is watching. The place is empty and I have at least fifteen minutes before Wyatt and Lacey will start to look for us.
“Baby, you wanna come right now?”
Her fingernails dig into my back. “Yes.”
I slide one hand down, unbuttoning her shorts. They’re loose and I’m able to ease two fingers beneath her panties. She’s soaked, my fingers slick as they move. She’s mostly bare, silky curls in a thin line, and her clit’s swollen. So damn swollen that she cries out and grips me harder when I touch her there.
“Shh, I’ll do you right.” I ease my longest finger inside her pussy. Her muscles clamp down on me. “Tight as fuck,” I groan, imagining my dick in her. Another finger and she’s mewling in my arms. I’m about to lose it at the sounds she’s making.
“Cole, Cole, Cole,” she chants.
I rub her clit with my thumb, pumping my fingers in and out of her. Hard. She’s on the edge and I want to make it quick. Later I can take my time, when I’m not worried about someone finding us. Somehow, I managed to get one side of her shirt up and I take a sweet pink nipple into my mouth, sucking hard.
Live For You (Boys of the South ~ Book 1) Page 8
