She bites her lip, weighing my words, as she shivers from my touch. “I’m not sure…this isn’t my house.”
I take that ‘not sure’ and run with it. Not sure means maybe. “What if we confine our activities to your room?”
***
Okay, so watching a movie on her laptop while we sit on her bed isn’t the activity I had in mind, but it feels nice to have Rae sitting next to me. Hell, it’s better than nice.
It’s amazing and right.
Her head’s on my shoulder and she’s so close that I couldn’t wedge a piece of paper between us. Our fingers are laced together and every so often I kiss her knuckles. Guess this is our version of a movie date.
“Wanna tell me about the black eye?” she asks when the credits roll.
“Two guys jumped my brother. So I evened the odds.” What I don’t tell her—after it was all over, Baldy gave me a card with an address. Told me to come by anytime I felt like busting balls. I’m not sure if I’ll take him up on his offer.
“Poor thing,” Rae says, taking the laptop, closing it and setting it on the night stand. She turns to me, brushing my hair out of my eyes and gently pushing my knit cap off of my head. My body hums as she fusses over me, turning my face this way and that. “Hope the other guy looks worse.”
I duck my head. Her concern makes me uncharacteristically shy. “Let’s just say that he doesn’t look any better.”
She strokes my cheek. “Who broke up the fight?”
“Two of the regulars.” One being Office Ford. He hadn’t hauled my ass in, like he normally does, and it doesn’t sit well with me. Mostly because I know it has something to do with my mom. I don’t trust men who do favors for my mom. Not even those sworn to protect or whatever’s written on the side of Ford’s police cruiser.
Her peppermint scented breath fans over the side of my face. She’d brushed her teeth right after letting me inside. “Does that happen a lot?”
I turn toward her and have to suck in a breath. She climbs in my lap, straddling me. Her breasts are right at eye level until she sits. Fighting back a groan, I put my hands on her hips and slip my fingers under the hem of her shirt. Her skin is smooth and hot.
“Goes with the territory.”
She smiles at me. “I bet you looked hot.”
I tilt my head to one side, trying to determine if she’s serious or joking. “Does the thought of me kicking ass turn you on, darlin’?”
Her cheeks turn bright pink, but she holds my gaze. “Yes.”
I raise my brows. “Why Rae Givens, you are a naughty girl.”
She leans into me, her lips once again in kissing distance. “Why did you really come over here, Cole?”
That wasn’t the response I was hoping for. “I missed you.”
Her head shakes. “I think there’s more to it. It’s a Monday night. I know what you do the nights you’re home.”
Does she really want the truth? Does she really want to know what happened with my mother? That I slept in the bar last night, because I don’t have a place to stay. I’m too damn ashamed to ask my friends for help. Hell, I didn’t even tell my brother what really happened. Just told him it was time for me to move out. I’m scared shitless for Kelly, my only comfort Parker is still at home, but he can’t be there twenty-four seven. Eventually, he’ll move out too.
I swallow, the lump in my throat more like a boulder. “I can’t.”
“You can,” she insists. “I trusted you my secret identity. Trust me with what’s bothering you.”
“My mom’s back.”
“And that’s not a good thing… I’m sorry, Cole.” She hugs me, laying her head on my shoulder. Her fingers sift through my hair and some of the tension in my body melts away.
“Not your fault. You didn’t tell her to—” I swallow again. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest that I’m sure she can hear it. “She’s not any better.”
“What can I do to help?”
I close my eyes at her offer. I don’t want her help. I don’t want her to meet my mother. I don’t want her to know that I’m nothing more than trash, and that when I touch her, I feel like I’m contaminating her with my life.
“Just do what you’re doing right now.” I thought I needed to come over here to do the right thing, then I thought I’d be inside of her by now, but turns out what I thought I needed and what I really needed was a soft place to land. A woman to listen and lay gentle hands on me.
“What are we, Cole?” she asks, leaning back to look me in the face. Her big blue eyes a slightly shadowed. Lashes long as they flutter. “I need a little clarification, because to be honest, I don’t have that much experience with guys or dating. So, I’m not sure what to expect and I don’t want to get it wrong.”
*** *** ***
Violet
Cole stares at me, the bruise around his left eye giving him a dangerous look that does in fact turn me on. I wouldn’t doubt that the other guy looked worse. Cole strikes me as the type of guy that doesn’t take crap from anyone.
But there’s a softer side to him. One that takes care of his sister and loves his brother. One that takes responsibility when any other guy would have left or checked out. It’s also one that has been hurt by his parents.
A part of me wants to go beyond helping and straight into fixing, but I can’t fix him. In my eyes he’s not broken. He’s just Cole Morgan, the guy who’s keeping one of my many secrets. The guy who makes me melt and lust after him with one look or caress.
“Define ‘not that much experience’,” he says, his hands move up my back, stroking the skin that craves his touch.
“I’ve only dated one guy, the ex I told you a little about, for three years. He…uh, cheated on me. I caught him with my best friend.”
“Guys are such assholes.”
“Yeah, well, so are best friends who cheat with those assholes,” I say, brushing aside the image of Callie that comes to mind. “Anyway, I’d like to know what I’m in for while I’m here.” Really I want to know if there’s any chance he could love me back.
“That’s part of the problem, don’t you think?”
I shrug. “I don’t know what to think, that’s why I’m asking.”
He grins, his hands coming around the front to cup my breasts. “Is there another guy you want to be with, Rae?”
“No.” I rock my hips, loving the feel of his erection pressing against me. Sparks of pleasure flare. “What about you?”
He bites a nipple through my shirt and I squeal. “Not into guys, baby.”
I snort and shake my head. One minute he’s setting my body on fire and the next he’s making me laugh. “Any other women, then?”
“No.” His face serious. “There’s only you, for however long you want me. Hell, Rae, you’re ruined me for any other woman.”
Something inside me bursts. Maybe my heart. I thought Jaxon had ruined me for other men when he’d cheated on me. I thought I’d never love anyone like I loved him.
But I was wrong. So completely, incredibly wrong.
And I’m terrified to say exactly how I feel for Cole.
Instead I kiss him, pouring everything into it that I feel for him. How he makes me feel. Every ounce of me is in that kiss.
He groans, low in his throat and our kiss becomes more urgent. It’s almost as though he was holding back. Soon we’re tugging on each other’s clothes, ripping away all the barriers between us, rolling around in my bed until we end back up where we started with me on top. I’m rocking my hips and sliding against him, bare skin to bare skin. He’s hot and hard and I’m throbbing and wet.
I need him inside of me.
“Rae,” he growls, then lets his head fall back. It hits the headboard with a dull thud. “I can’t be with you tonight. I don’t have any protection with me. I can’t give you anything, except a baby. So, unless you’re on the pill…”
My body goes cold. I could tell him the truth or lie about being on the pill. Either way I wouldn’t get
pregnant. “There’s nothing I can give you—” my heart feels close to bursting with that true statement—“I had every test known to mankind after the wreck.”
His blue eyes go darker and he smiles slowly. “And the pill?”
I bite my lip, tears pricking and I have to look away. I’ll go with the truth, just not all of the truth. “I’m not on the pill.”
His finger comes under my chin, gently tilting it back up. His expression is earnest. “It’s okay. Seriously. Don’t feel bad or embarrassed or whatever’s going on in that blond head of yours. I’m not some uncontrollable sex maniac.”
I burst out laughing. We’re naked in my bed, his hands doing thing to me that ought to have them classified as a weapon of seduction, and he’s making jokes to make me feel better. Again.
Could Cole be more perfect? Does a guy like him deserve a girl that isn’t whole inside, that’s missing parts and pieces of herself?
My head says no.
My heart tells it to shut the hell up.
I trail my fingers up and down his hard abs. His stomach contracts with each pass. Lower and lower, until I curl my fingers around where he’s so hot and hard. “We could do other things,” I say lightly, stroking him.
A glimmer of something wicked appears in his eyes, then he flips me onto my back, his mouth trailing down my stomach. “We could. Something like this, maybe?”
“Yes, oh yes.” My hands grip the sheets, then his hair as he goes lower.
He takes the time to kiss my scar, tongue tracing a design that leaves me shaking. He presses kisses along the curve of my hip, rubbing his thumb over my tattoo, before paying extra special attention to my inner thighs.
His thumbs part me. “All this sweetness.”
Then he licks me and my eyes close. I let him take control as he makes me cry out his name and arch my back. A slow glide, a rough slide of his stubble and I’m shaking. Closer and closer to the edge I get, but he won’t let me fall.
“Please…please,” I beg, not recognizing my own voice.
He sinks two fingers inside me and hits a place that makes me buck against his mouth. I look at him, my vision heated and blurry. I watch his head move, his black hair teasing the skin of my inner thigh as his mouth and tongue completely devastate me. Another flick of his tongue and thrust of his fingers and I tumble over the edge, screaming his name, yet knowing he’s there to catch me as I fall.
Chapter Eighteen
Cole
Rae’s curled up to me, our legs tangled in one another. She has on my shirt, but it’s up around her waist and her ass is bare in the morning light.
I cup a cheek and she makes a sleepy little moaning sound. Despite our night of doing other things to each other, my morning wood goes from a semi to a full blown erection in a matter of seconds.
Must buy condoms.
Letting go, I roll to one side and search for my phone, finding it under my pillow. I check the time. I’m late. “Arrg.” I smack the headboard with my fist.
Rae comes awake with a start. “What’s wrong?”
I jump out of bed, and grab my jeans, sliding them up and over my boxer briefs. “I was supposed to meet this guy.”
“About what?” she asks as my shirt hits me in the head and covers my eyes.
“You’re nude, aren’t you?” My fingers freeze on the last button of my jeans.
“I wouldn’t be so cruel.” I hear a door open and close. “I put on a robe. So you’re meeting a guy about a dog?”
I pull the t-shirt the rest of the way over my head. It smells of both of us. I might not ever take it off. “About an apartment, actually.”
Her brows rise. She’s wearing a cow print robe that covers her from throat to feet. Oddly enough, I think it’s hot on her. “So y’all are moving?”
Sitting down in a huge chair by the window, I shove my feet into my work boots and lace them up. “Just me.”
“Oh.” Her brow creases. “What about Kelly and Parker?”
“They’re welcome to visit.” I stand and grab my keys and wallet from her dresser. “You are, too, you know.”
She’s still standing there, that same crease in her forehead while she’s trying to connect the dots. “But what if your momma goes—”
“Don’t,” I say, then exhale and rub my hand across my face. “Look, you wouldn’t understand. So I’d rather not—”
“I rather you would.” She crosses the room and steps on top of my boots. They’re steel-toed, so she could jump up and down on them while wearing heels, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. “It’s what people in relationships do.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really,” she says, shoving her finger in my chest. “It’s the adult thing to do.”
I can’t help but be amused by her display. Her head is tipped back and she stares up at me. The height disparity between of us is laughable. Yet here she is, lecturing me like I was five.
“Fine, Miss Given, but you have to tell me one thing about you that I don’t know.”
She bites her lip, her bright eyes dimming. I almost take back my words, but she nods and whispers, “I ran away from home to come here. I cut my hair, pierced my nose and bought a whole new wardrobe so the press wouldn’t recognize me and follow.”
I tuck a piece of hair behind the top of her ear. “What happened to make you run away?”If someone has hurt her, I’ll hunt them down and beat the shit out of them.
Her head shakes. “You said one.” She steps off of my boots and crosses her arms. “Your turn.”
I rub a spot over my ear, a habit that I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of, no matter how hard I try. “I got kicked out of my house because I wouldn’t tell my mother where I’d hidden her money. I was supposed to meet the leasing manager over at Forrestville Apartments, but now he probably thinks I’m some kind of loser. I mean, if I can’t even show up on time, how in the hell can I pay my rent on time or at all, right?”
She rubs one arm, her hand disappearing and reappearing under the huge sleeve. “What if…what if you stay here while you look for another apartment?”
“What about your Nana?”
“I think she’d be all right with me helping a person in need.”
I grab the belt of her robe and tug, letting the material fall open. “What about a man who has a need to be inside of you?”
Rae gives me a coy look, tracing a finger down the center of her chest. My mouth runs dry as she circles one of her nipples. “Then that man better get himself some condoms.”
My suave response: To stare at her like a pure idiot. “Ah…um.”
“I’m getting in the shower.” She flounces away from me, her laughter trailing behind her as she leaves the room.
***
After buying a warehouse sized box of condoms and checking the bulletin board at the Piggly Wiggly for any apartments for rent, I head back home. Correction: I head to Rae’s Nana’s house.
I beat out a staccato rhythm on the steering wheel while waiting for a red light, then hit the gas as soon as it turns green.
I drive past Kelly’s school. I miss her so much it hurts. I’ve only been gone for two days, but I haven’t seen her since last Friday. And I feel like I’m missing something or someone.
Usually Kelly’s all up in my space, in my lap and following me around. Today I was supposed to take her to her first ballet lesson.
Hell, I don’t even know if she made it to school today. Who knows if Crystal bothered to get herself out of bed to fix breakfast or Kelly’s hair.
I scroll through my contact list and give Kelly’s school a call.
The secretary picks up the phone on the second ring. “Forrestville Elementary. This is Georgia.”
“Hey, Miss Georgia. This is Cole Morgan and I was just checking to see if Kelly had made it to school okay?”
“Oh, she missed the bus, but Parker drove her up here. That boy is so sweet.”
I grin, tucking that little compliment back for later. “I’ll be s
ure to tell him.”
“Cole?” Her voice lowers and my gut starts churning. “Y’all’s momma was up here and she’s taking you off of the approved list. So, I won’t be able to give you any more information about Kelly.”
Fuck. What the hell was Chrystal’s problem with me? It couldn’t be just because I look and sound like him. There had to be more to it. A person couldn’t be naturally that hateful of her own child.
“That’s okay, Miss Georgia. I understand.”
Sympathy laces her voice as she says, “I’m so sorry, honey. You’ve always taken such good care of that little girl. Tell you what, I can’t break the rules, but I can call the other people on the approved list.”
“And who would they be?” My mother’s drug dealer or last boyfriend?
“Your brother and Violet Givens.”
I grind my teeth together so hard that I’m sure Georgia can hear them. “Thank you,” I bite out. Then I cut off my phone, barely restraining myself from throwing it out of the window.
Taking a deep breath, I try to reason with my Hulk Smash side. No need to get upset. Parker is still there. He can watch out her Kelly. Besides, Rae doesn’t need to be on the receiving end of my less than bubbly mood.
Tonight, for once, I’ll maintain. At least I’ll have work to take my mind off of things.
My hand shakes as I turn on the radio.
Maintain, I remind myself. I can do this.
But my hand doesn’t stop shaking, so I turn the Jeep around and head for Sully’s, calling Wyatt and hoping like hell he can help me out.
*** *** ***
Violet
Tonight I’m going to work with Cole. It’s his turn to close and since I’d rather spend time with him than anyone else, I volunteered to go.
Okay, so I invited myself to go with him.
I dress for the part, slipping into a short pink skirt and chevron printed orange and white top with heeled leather booties in bright white. Something I’d ordered online last week.
Today while Cole was off running errands, I washed out all the purple in my hair and dyed the ends bright pink. It’s finally long enough to actually do more than spike it up or pin it to one side. Hence, the really cute white headband holding my hair back from my face.
Live For You (Boys of the South ~ Book 1) Page 12
