“I don’t prefer to keep my distance.”
Liam’s voice was gruffer than it had been a second ago. The sound made my heart skip a beat.
“I don’t know who I’m kidding anyway,” he added. “I know better than to think not being in the same room with you is going to stop Flint from plotting. He’s a leannan sidhe. It’s in his blood to manipulate people.”
“I never meant to drag you into my mess,” I said quietly.
Liam sighed and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “I’ll admit I can be overly cautious. I have to consider my pack, not just me. But in this case, I think I gave you the impression that I blame you more than I do.”
He tilted his head down so he could meet my eyes. “Shade, I appreciate what you did. If it weren’t for you, my sister would still be in wolf form. I don’t like how it played out, but that has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the situation. I wasn’t going to find anyone to help me that wouldn’t have asked for more. Or worse.”
“I tell myself the same thing when I think back on the night of Marilyn’s auction,” I murmured. “I replay it, try to figure out another way. And maybe there was one. But then, I didn’t really have the luxury of time.” I scowled. “I do look forward to the day the contract ends though. And I’m not just talking about a celebratory cake. I plan to make that smug sidhe wish he’d never signed that dotted line.”
“I look forward to that,” Liam said. And he sounded like he meant it.
I leaned back to look at him. “How about you?” I asked. “How are you, I mean?”
“Fighting fit,” he said easily. He looked around the forest. “Peasblossom?”
I sighed. “I saw her standing on a tree branch with Rue. If what I’m getting from our link is any indication, she’s bragging. Probably trying to convince Rue that she has her own army back in the city.”
His aura kicked up a few degrees, chasing back the chill in the air. In that moment, I became hyper aware that we were alone. No familiar, no bodyguard, no pack. A very rare moment. My heart pounded, and for a second I didn’t breathe.
Awareness flickered in Liam’s eyes and a hint of gold shone through his blue irises. Then his arm snaked around my waist, dragging me off the fallen tree and into his arms. I tilted my face up to meet his, and his mouth closed over mine.
The aura that had felt so good before shot through my body in a rush of adrenaline. I gasped at the intensity of it, and Liam swallowed the sound, his tongue sweeping in to deepen the kiss. The lower half of my body liquefied, but his strong grip kept me on my feet, locked in his arms. After the last few days of chaos and unpleasant surprises, it was all too easy to give in, let the heat boil away all the pain and all the tragedy. For one blessed minute, there was nothing but Liam.
And something trying to unzip my waist pouch.
I broke from the kiss with a sound somewhere between a growl and a groan to glare at my familiar. Peasblossom paused with one leg inside the pouch. Rue hovered in the air over our heads.
“Peasblossom, what are you doing?” I demanded.
“Getting some honey.”
She gave me the look that said I was embarrassing her.
The dark pixie tilted her head, silver eyes narrowed. “Does she take many shifter lovers?”
Peasblossom scoffed. “No. Sheesh, she hasn’t taken a lover of any sort since the—”
“Thank you, Peasblossom,” I said through gritted teeth.
“For what?” Peasblossom frowned. “You look mad. Did he not do it right?”
I slumped backward onto the fallen tree and covered my face with my hands.
“Well, you might as well know now.” I pointed in Peasblossom’s general direction. “That’s going to happen a lot.”
Liam snorted. “I live with a hundred and fourteen gossips. This is nothing new.”
I dropped my hands in surprise, my heart skipping a beat when I found Liam grinning at me, blue eyes still glittering with flecks of gold. He winked at me and I blushed in spite of myself.
“This is going to be fun,” Peasblossom decided.
I started to argue, then stopped. Yeah. Yeah, it was.
Chapter 29
“And by the time I was done with her, she was covered in blood. Covered.”
Mother Hazel quirked an eyebrow as Peasblossom gestured at her own face and body to illustrate the blood that had covered the telepath—getting honey smeared over her from forehead to bellybutton in the process.
I tightened my grip on my teacup. The fragrant black tea did little to soothe my raw nerves, my stomach that remained twisted into knots despite the weight of the beef stew we’d just finished. It would take more than tea and supper to put me at ease. Peasblossom had been telling Mother Hazel all about our latest case. In great detail. Without pause.
For two hours.
Which meant for two hours, I’d sat here with my tea, trying to keep up the nerve to demand answers from my mentor. Answers I was determined not to leave without. Answers about the sidhe woman who’d muscled her way into being my bodyguard only to leave me when I’d needed her most.
“It is good that you faced her,” Mother Hazel praised Peasblossom. “It is always best to not only face your fear—but dominate.”
“Exactly,” Peasblossom said, jabbing a sticky finger in Mother Hazel’s direction. “I dominated. And then—”
“Who’s Ms. Dorcha?” I blurted out.
Peasblossom’s mouth snapped shut. Like a dandelion going to sleep for the night, she folded in on herself. She looked suddenly very, very interested in getting the last smear of honey from the small bowl in front of her.
Mother Hazel’s eyes locked on to mine with almost physical force, unimpeded by the fall of steely grey hair that framed her wrinkled face. “How are things going between you and Scath?”
I forced myself to put the delicate ceramic teacup down before I squeezed it so hard I broke it. “Do you know who Ms. Dorcha is or not?”
“Have I ever answered your question before you answered mine?”
I clenched my hands into fists under the table and dragged in a deep breath. If I tensed any further, that beef stew was going to come back up. But the old crone was right. There was already a chance she wouldn’t answer my question at all. She definitely wouldn’t answer it if I ignored hers.
“I thought we were getting along. She’s been spending more time in human form, talking to me more. She doesn’t get personal, but she’s been participating in cases. Offering insights, finding clues. She doesn’t seem to dislike me as much as she did before.”
“What was it that prompted you to ask me about Ms. Dorcha?”
“I met her. At a bar, the Crow’s Nest. I was psychically bound to a goblin at the time, so I wasn’t quite myself. But Ms. Dorcha was there, and she seemed…interested in me. Something about the way she looked at me. And then Scath froze up when she saw her. And when I left the bar, Scath didn’t come with me.” A lump rose in my throat. “I haven’t seen her since.”
Mother Hazel was silent for a long minute. My heart skipped a beat, and I found myself holding my breath. Blood and bone, was she actually going to answer my question?
“Ms. Dorcha is the human guise of Dubheasa. The Unseelie Queen.”
I didn’t move. I didn’t breathe. It was as if someone had sucked all the air out of the room. All I could do was stare at my mentor, wait for her to tell me she was kidding. That after centuries of life, she’d decided to try her hand at a joke.
“Scath is hers, isn’t she?” My voice came out quiet, the strangled whisper of something that didn’t want to be said.
“No.”
I tried to take a deep breath, failed, and tried again. My lungs shuddered, and I groped for my teacup. “But they are connected. They have a relationship.”
“Yes.”
I downed the rest of my cold tea, wincing as all the honey that had settled at the bottom of the cup went down my throat in a burst of sugar. Was it ju
st me, or was the room spinning? Had the fire been crackling that loud a second ago?
“You’re upset. Why?”
I made a sound somewhere between a whimper and a laugh. “Why am I upset? Why am I upset that I’ve taken on a bodyguard with connections to the Unseelie Queen?” I covered my face with my hands, hid like a child while I gathered my thoughts. “I’ll have to end it. If it’s not already too late.”
Mother Hazel retrieved the teapot from its hook over the fire and poured me another cup. “And why would you have to do that?”
“Why are you being deliberately obtuse about this?” I demanded. “You know as well as I do that out of all the creatures and people of the Otherworld who don’t deserve the terrifying reputation they have, the Unseelie Queen is not one of them.”
“Nor am I.”
I snapped my mouth shut.
Peasblossom was wearing what was left of the honey, and she sat like a glistening statue, only her pink eyes moving as they darted between me and my mentor. Mother Hazel set down a fresh bowl of honey and pushed the cup of lemon juice closer to me. “Have I ever been anything but kind to you?”
I assumed she was asking if she’d ever been deliberately cruel for no reason, not had she ever been cruel as a means to an end. “I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. But are you truly telling me that there is no cause for me to be concerned that I’ve let someone from the Unseelie Queen’s circle into my life? Into a trusted place in my life?”
“Shade,” Mother Hazel said gently. “You may feel as if you’ve only just begun your life, but the fact is, you are not a young witch. You’ve been taking care of others for a long time, and you’ve learned well the lessons I’ve taught you. Now, I’ve done my best to give you guidelines and experience to help you. But I cannot force you down a path you don’t want. Apparently,” she added under her breath. “But let me remind you of what you already know. A person’s actions speak more truth than their words.”
I prepared my cup of tea in a daze, barely noticing that Peasblossom didn’t shriek in protest when I used half the honey. I added a splash of lemon, then drank half of the tea before it cooled. But even burning my tongue couldn’t take my mind from thoughts of the Unseelie Queen. Stories I’d heard. Possibilities for why she might take an interest in me.
“Is the Unseelie Queen my patron? Is that where my magic comes from?”
“No.”
I stared at her, outlined as she was by the flames of her hearth. “You know who my patron is.”
“Yes.”
“Will you tell me?”
“No.”
I stood up so fast I knocked my chair over. The heavy piece of furniture hit the floor with a loud bang that made Peasblossom’s wings twitch. “Why? Why won’t you tell me?”
Mother Hazel sighed, and for the first time, she looked almost sorry. “Because I swore I would not. But I do not think it will be much longer before you find out for yourself.”
Emotion welled up in me, so strong and so sudden that for a minute I didn’t know what to do with myself. My hands shook, and my legs felt weak. I thought I might cry, but it was equally possible I’d scream, or break something.
I ran out of the cottage, needing to get away from the crone, away from that apologetic look that didn’t belong on her face.
It didn’t surprise me to find Scath waiting by my car. I stumbled to a halt, staring at her as a cool autumn-scented breeze swept my hair back from my face. The same breeze barely moved the wild peaks of hair that stuck out from Scath’s head at odd angles, but that was par for the course for the slightly feral sidhe. I gave her a once-over, looking for some hint as to where she’d been. What she’d been doing. But there were no clues to be found on her black shirt and leggings. Black clothes hid all manner of sins.
Silence dragged on, broken only by my uneven breathing and the occasional gust of wind.
“Where were you?” My voice came out hoarse. Strained.
“Out.”
I dug my nails into my palms, using the pain to help me focus. “With who?”
“Majesty.”
I didn’t glance down at the pouch. I didn’t care about Majesty, not right now. And I wouldn’t be distracted. “Did you ever leave the Crow’s Nest?”
“Yes.”
“Have you been with Ms. Dorcha this whole time?”
“Why do you care so much about where I go and who I’m with?” Scath asked, her voice cold and hard. “Isn’t it enough that when I’m with you, I do whatever I can to help you?”
I stared at her, trying to think straight, trying to hold onto a coherent train of thought through the turmoil swirling around my brain. I took a step forward, holding her gaze. I hated how calm she was. How completely unruffled she seemed compared to the chaos inside of me. Why should she be so relaxed when she was stuck in this nightmare of a relationship too?
“I let you into my life. Whatever our arrangement, the fact of the matter is, you see my life. You’ve seen me cry, you’ve listened to me worry about choices I’ve made, my fears about what those choices might lead to. You can find me anywhere, even though you won’t tell me how.”
I took another step. “I know nothing about you. If it weren’t for Liam, I wouldn’t even know you had a human form. You hide everything from me.” I sucked in a deep breath, held it for a second before letting it out. “Whatever our agreement, there is nothing balanced about this relationship.”
Scath’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, I thought she’d run. Just turn around and disappear.
But she didn’t.
“What do you want to know?” Her voice was so quiet, I almost thought I’d imagined it.
My heart pounded. “Tell me something personal. Something that will help me know you. Understand you.”
Scath’s gaze darted back and forth, as if she suddenly couldn’t look me in the eye. She took a step back, caught herself, and stepped forward again. Finally, she forced herself to meet my gaze, lifted her chin and squared her shoulders.
“I hate being in human form,” she said vehemently. “I hate it. And if it were up to me, I’d stay a cat. Forever.”
It was nothing I hadn’t already suspected, but the fact that she’d said it made hope flare in my soul. “Why?”
She didn’t break eye contact, but now she held my gaze the way someone might clutch at a life preserver on rough seas. As if she’d be lost if she eased her grip, even a little.
“When you’re in human form, people want to talk. They want to talk all the time. Your cases…those aren’t so bad. I don’t mind talking about crimes, or how to find more clues. But small talk? It’s pointless. A waste of breath. And the other stuff…the personal stuff…”
She stopped and I thought for a minute she wouldn’t, or couldn’t, finish. I held my breath. Waiting.
“The personal stuff…hurts.”
I took a step forward. We were only a few feet apart now. I could have leaned forward and touched her. “I can respect your silence. I only ask that you connect with me now and then. You don’t have to tell me your greatest fear or deepest desire. Just something.” I pushed a lock of hair behind my ear, hating how clumsy every word out of my mouth sounded. “If you’re going to stay with me, I can’t hide from you. And it’s nerve-wracking to be that vulnerable with someone who never lets me see beyond the surface.”
She ran. One minute she was standing there, her green eyes bright with a sudden pain I couldn’t fathom. And then she turned and ran into the forest, preternatural speed carrying her away before I could open my mouth to call her back. Then she was gone.
I turned to find Mother Hazel standing in the doorway, a sticky Peasblossom stuck to her palm.
“She’s lost someone, hasn’t she?” I said quietly. “Someone she used to be open with. I’m guessing there were never many people who got to see the real her.”
Mother Hazel carried Peasblossom down the porch steps and held her out to me. “A keen observation. I’ve taugh
t you well.”
I thought of Jamila. The guardian angel who’d been driven to make a deal with a bad man after she’d lost her charge. A woman who’d let herself believe she didn’t deserve more. Who’d very nearly lost her faith because she didn’t think she was worthy. She’d died before she found herself again. Scath had offered to be my bodyguard. I wondered if there was more to that offer than I’d first thought.
“It was someone she felt was hers to protect. Wasn’t it?” I asked.
“It was.”
“I’m not the first one she’s been a bodyguard for.”
Mother Hazel sighed. “In life there are natural leaders and natural followers. Neither is better than the other. But for a follower who’s found a leader they trust, a leader they love… Losing them can be devastating in more ways than one.”
“Am I the first she’s offered to protect since…?”
“You are,” Mother Hazel said softly.
In a daze, I took my familiar from my mentor and cleaned her off with a spell. For once, Mother Hazel didn’t give me a disapproving look for doing with magic what could have been done with soap and water. I must have looked more out of sorts than I thought, because Peasblossom didn’t make a peep the entire two hour drive back to Cleveland.
I checked the clock in my car when I got back into the city. I was right on time. Andy had asked me to meet him at an office he was renting. It might have been a little paranoid, but Andy had felt it was best to rent an anonymous work space for his investigation into Flint. I doubted the sidhe would be able to spy on Andy at home, what with his parents haunting the place, but if Andy was uncomfortable with the idea, I wasn’t going to force the issue.
I pulled into a small parking lot outside a building that looked as if it had danced on the edge of demolition orders for more than a few years. A large crack bisected the front window, and one of the front steps was missing, forcing whoever entered to take a step up higher than my knee. I shook off the melancholy holding me immobile and got out of the car.
Thrall Page 32
