My heart is already pumping, excited for Jack and his teammates, but what makes me almost come out of my skin is the feel of James’s arm that wrapped around my waist when he gave me a side hug to celebrate the win, lifting me slightly off the ground because of our height difference. Instinctively, my arm goes around his shoulders, and for the life of me, I can’t remove it.
James gives my waist a light squeeze and looks down at me as he sets me on my feet, my arm naturally falling from his shoulders down to around his waist. My breathing suddenly feels shallow and short. It’s not lost on me that the hold, both physically and emotionally, we have on each other is far more intimate than what is appropriate for our one day of knowing each other. But I can’t bring myself to care.
He clears his throat, and I bite the corner of my bottom lip again. At this rate, it’s going to be gnawed clean off, and I’ll be left with a gaping hole in the corner of my mouth.
“Hey.” Crap. His voice is sexy, especially when it’s low like this. His eyes are still on mine, making my body heat from the top of my head to my toes.
“Hi.”
He smiles brilliantly. His eyes move from my eyes to my mouth and slowly back up.
“Can I ask you something?” he asks, his voice gravelly.
Throughout the game, we cheered and chatted. It felt natural, and nowhere in the evening did I feel uncomfortable around him. In fact, it was just the opposite. But the way he’s looking at me now? It doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable, so to speak, but definitely makes me a little twitchy. I don’t know what to do with the way he’s made me feel… basically all day long.
I stare blankly at him. I know he said something I’m supposed to respond to, but all I can think about is how his voice sounds… and lips look… and his eyes the color of the Caribbean Sea that never seem to be too far from me. He makes me dizzy with a feeling I haven’t felt in decades, if ever. Even my ex, Vince, never made me feel this way.
“Carly?” he asks quietly. Through the sounds of the crowd still cheering and talking, excited for the win, all I hear is his voice. Around us people move, yet we stay still.
I blink my eyes to shake myself out of the trance we have fallen into.
“What?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Didn’t you just do that?”
He laughs at my lame joke. “Okay. I’ll amend that. Can I ask you another question?”
I nod my head.
“Can I…” He shifts nervously, clearing his throat. “…can I walk you to your car?”
I may be wrong, only knowing him for a day I can’t say as though I’m totally in tune with him, but I don’t think that’s what he intended to ask me. Especially considering that it’s a question worthy of a fourteen-year-old.
The fact that he is possibly as nervous around me as I am around him oddly makes me feel enormously better.
“Umm… What?”
“I chickened out. I’m sorry.”
A laugh bubbles up out of me. This entire day has been weird from start to finish. I don’t even acknowledge what he said about chickening out.
“Yeah, you can walk me to my car,” I answer, giving him an out.
“Alright then,” he says cheerfully.
As we’re walking down the bleachers, he ushers me slightly in front of him by putting his hand on my lower back. I clutch the blanket in my arms tighter as my heart feels like it could do a frog jump right out of my chest. I turn my head, and our eyes connect before I quickly turn away and focus on my feet walking down the bleacher stairs. No need for yet another stumble in front of James.
We get closer to the parking lot, and my nerves pick up. Three years ago, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t let a man take over my heart ever again. And this man, in the few hours that I’ve known him, has managed to make my heart race and stomach dip more times than in my entire life combined. It’s completely unsettling.
I stop walking in the middle of the parking lot and turn to him. “I just remembered I have to talk to Jack after the game.” Which is only partly a lie. I always talk to him after the game. Jack will wait for me, or I can easily just text or call him, but I need to escape.
He furrows his eyebrows just slightly. “Oh,” he says, obviously confused. “I can wait until you’re done.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll just catch up with you later,” I start to walk away.
“Carly?” Christine calls out for me, but my feet are moving quickly toward Jack’s pickup.
“I’ll call you later,” I yell back to her, waving but not turning.
I don’t hear her response and don’t have the courage to look behind me in the direction of my friend, or James.
As soon as I see Jack’s pickup, I use the extra key I have in my purse and let myself in. Before long, I see him come out of the locker room. He’s laughing with his teammates, but the second he notices I’m sitting in his truck, he turns to them and nods then quickly heads my way.
“You alright?” he asks before he’s even fully settled in the cab.
“Yeah,” I lie.
“What happened?”
“Nothing,” I lie again.
“Mom. What happened? Did he…” He looks around the parking lot nervously.
“No. Nothing like that. I promise.”
“What was it, then?” My teenage son. Much too perceptive for his age.
“Just old skeletons, I suppose,” I say, hoping that will be enough. But of course, it isn’t.
“Did someone hurt you?” he asks, his voice dangerously low.
“NO! Oh kiddo. No. You don’t need to worry about me. Okay? Just go celebrate your amazing win, alright?”
His eyes assess me, looking me over. His voice softens, and he reaches over to me, grabbing my hand in his. “Mom.”
“I mean it. I just needed to sit here to get away, I guess.”
“Get away? From who?”
“Jack. I’m fine. I just needed to have a minute or two alone. And to tell you how proud I am of you. You’re a good kid, you know that?”
“Thanks to you,” he tells me, making my heart squeeze.
“So, what’s the plan for tonight?” I ask him, officially changing the subject.
He gives me a hard look, which I return, and he sighs heavily. “I think we’re going over to Blake’s house for the after-game-supper-thing that some of the parents do, which you’re welcome to come over for, you know that, right? Christine comes a lot.”
“I know. I appreciate it. Maybe next time, okay?”
“Mom, you say that every week,” he groans.
“Jack, don’t start.”
“I just don’t understand why you won’t get to know some of the other parents. It’s been three years.”
“My job is to keep you safe. If that means I need to keep my distance and not get to know people, so be it.”
“He’s not going to come here.”
“You don’t know that. Just, trust me, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Are you going to see Maggie?” I ask, changing the subject, my voice teasing.
He smiles brightly. “I don’t hide it very well, do I?”
“Not really.”
“I don’t think I will tonight. She told me at school today her parents are back home now, and I think she wants to hang out with them after the game. Soon,” he says, his voice confident.
“James tells me it might be a challenge,” I say and immediately regret it.
His eyes widen. “James, huh? As in Maggie’s uncle?”
“Mm-hmm. Yup.”
“When did you talk to James? Or better yet… when did you meet him?”
Before I can stop them, a flood of nonsensical words spill from my mouth. “Umm, he dropped off Harper, Maggie’s little sister? You know her? At school this morning since her parents were gone, and she had broken her arm. Did you remember that? Anyway. He dropped her off then came back and had lunch with her, then I saw him at the game. He’s
a nice guy, I suppose. He played soccer with Harper’s classmates and had lunch with her — I think I said that already — and we sat by each other at the game tonight. But yeah, he said you might have a challenge ahead of you. Sounds like she’s got some overprotective older brothers and stuff.”
Ho-ly. Crappola. I just rambled for a ridiculous amount of time. And not a single bit of it made a lick of sense. Of course he knows Harper. Of course he didn’t forget something that happened just last night. Jack’s eyebrows have shot clear into his hairline, and he covers his mouth with his hand to stop from laughing directly at me.
“I think I understand now.”
“Oh, shut it.”
He laughs out loud at me. “Mom. What’s the deal?”
“Nothing,” I say, my voice embarrassingly high.
“Really? Because it seems there’s some deal happening over here.” He motions his finger in a figure eight in my direction.
“I’m not ready,” I say quietly.
“You don’t have to be.” He shrugs. It seems weird that my best friend is my sixteen-year-old son. But we’ve been through more together than most mothers and sons. The fact that he just gets it, is mindful of everything that’s happened, makes me love him even more, if possible.
“Thank you, Jack.”
“You’re welcome, Mom. But just to say, I only met him last night and think he’s totally cool. He seems like a really nice guy, and if you’re not ready because of me, don’t worry about it. I’m here for you, and that’s it.”
“You’re a good kid,” I repeat.
He smiles and reaches over to me, pulling me in for a hug.
“Love you, Mom.”
“Love you, too, kiddo. Now, get out of here. Looks like you have a few people waiting.” I motion with my head in the direction where a giddy-looking Maggie stands with Bri and a scowling Grady.
“Oh, that looks like fun,” he says, chuckling.
“It won’t be easy.”
“But it will be worth it.” He climbs out of the pickup.
I watch as he strides toward the trio. Grady looks down at Bri, his body seeming to relax. Maggie is nearly bouncing on her toes as Jack gets closer. He steps right in front of Maggie as Grady also takes a step closer to her. Bri tugs on his arm. Grady’s shoulders rise and fall in a deep exhale, then he turns and says something to Jack. Jack nods his head and sticks his fist out to bump.
Grady returns the fist-bump halfheartedly. Bri giggles and begins walking away with Grady reluctantly in tow.
It makes my heart joyful to see Jack this happy. To see him putting himself out there. As soon as they turn their backs, Jack reaches up a hand and tugs on Maggie’s ponytail and motions to her jersey — that has his number on it. She smiles and turns her head. He stuffs his hands in his jeans pockets as they continue talking. It’s such a typical scene but still adorable.
I lock up Jack’s truck and make my way to my car, noticing the parking lot is pretty empty now, aside from several student vehicles and one lone car that just started up and is pulling away from its spot. I wonder how long — or if — James stood around waiting for me to stop acting immature. The fact that it even crosses my mind bothers me.
I’m not ready.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.
I’m not harboring feelings for Vince. Well, except for hate. That one is holding pretty strong.
I hate him for making me scared to live a normal life.
I hate him for making me doubt myself.
I hate him for making me never want to love again.
CHAPTER FOUR
James
Last Friday, I learned a lot about myself. One of those things is that the feelings I was quickly building toward a certain drop-dead gorgeous teacher were returned. Or, at least, physically anyway. By the end of the football game, I was positive we were on the same page, and then she all but ran away from me. This time not tripping over herself.
I woke up the next morning not sure what to do with that, but I did know that I wasn’t willing to let it go. I could tell something spooked her, though. If I needed to be patient and wait her out, I would do just that.
I still haven’t left Tess and Barrett’s house. They haven’t said anything, and I wonder if they’re wondering if I’m just going to try to move in. And while a move is definitely going to happen, I have no intentions of moving into my sister and brother-in-law’s house. Although it is pretty entertaining here.
I’m standing outside of the building that has the potential to change my entire future. For the better, I hope. I scroll through my email one last time to make sure I have all the information I need while I wait for the owner to arrive.
“You actually showed up.” A gruff voice booms from behind me.
I look up from my phone and turn around to see Tony Stacco’s husky frame make his way toward me.
“You didn’t think I would?” I question.
“Well, let’s just say people aren’t necessarily busting down my doors to get in.”
“Ah, but they’re not me. They don’t see the potential I do.”
“Potential, huh?”
I nod my head as he turns the key in the door and motions for me to follow him into the shabby old diner. It smells of stale smoke and cooking oil. The black-and-white laminate floor is chipped and cracking, the paint on the walls dingy. The bright red leather bar stools have holes and splinters in the seats, the tables are wobbly, and the light fixtures are seriously outdated. The kitchen looks as though it hasn’t changed since the fifties. To most people, sure, they would see something that’d be better to be burned to the ground.
To me? I see so much more. I see freedom. I see my future.
A few months ago, I started feeling the itch once again to own my own restaurant. I’ve been to Tony’s Diner too many times to count and always knew that it had possibilities of being something greater than he let it become. When I stayed here to help with the kids while Tess and Barrett were gone, I heard that he was planning to shut down the restaurant and had the building for sale. I showed up in the diner one day with a proposition. He took one look at me and asked if I’d lost my damn mind. When I assured him I hadn’t, and he got done laughing, loudly, he took me back to the office to sit down and talk over what I was offering.
“What you want with this place, anyhow? You gonna tear it down? Build a juice bar to go with that damn coffee shop next door?” he asks without turning around while he moves through the space toward the back room.
“Nah, I have far bigger plans for it than that.”
“Can’t really see what you have in mind. Seems like a money pit to me.”
I shrug my shoulders as I sit down in the old plastic chair across from him in his makeshift office.
“You need to see what I can, then.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t need to see it, boy. I plan on getting out of here. I’m seventy years old. Spent enough time in these damn Michigan winters for a lifetime. Moving my old chubby ass down to Florida.”
“Yeah?”
“As soon as I cash the check I hope you’re carrying with you.”
I bite back a snort at his straight forwardness. “I have it with me. Don’t worry, Tony. You sure you want to do this?”
“Oh, I’m sure. This place ain’t nothin’ to me anymore. Wife passed away a few years ago. My kids don’t want a thing to do with it. I’m ready to get outta here.”
“Alright then. Let’s do this.”
And fifteen minutes later, I was the proud owner of Tony’s Diner, soon to be Balance, an eclectic mix of the southern cooking I grew up with, the Italian dishes I’ve come to adore, and all-American fare that my family loves so much.
Step one of my future is fully in place.
Step two? That could be a bigger challenge.
“I have news,” I announce to my sister, Tess, and her family as we’re all creating our own pizzas. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and with Tess’s family and Lily and I all in o
ne room now, it’s the perfect time to let them know what changes are coming. I’ll see my parents tomorrow as well and let them know, but I’ll have to call my brother Dean and his wife Meredith. He won’t be impressed if he finds out about my big move from someone else.
“Sounds ominous,” Barrett says, but he’s smiling in my direction all the same.
I decide to mess with them a bit. I nod my head and cast my eyes downward. I sigh heavily and shake my head, as if what I’m about to say is really hard to get out. When Tess notices, she puts down the knife she was using to chop peppers and onions and looks over at me with concern. I should feel bad because I think she’s probably thinking the worst, but I can’t help myself.
“Yeah, I guess it might be,” I tell them with a quiet voice. I’m an ass.
“James, what’s going on? Are you alright?” Tess quickly makes her way to my side and rests her hand on my arm.
“I really don’t know how to tell you all, so I guess I’ll just get it out there, rip it off like a Band-Aid, right?” I say, my head down. My shoulders rise and fall as I take a deep breath.
“Dad, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?” my daughter, Lily, says with tears forming in her bright blue eyes, so much like my own. She could be Tess’s daughter, for as much as she looks like her aunt, though Lily’s hair is a little more… wild. With streaks of color on every strand, she tells me her hair is unicorn, whatever the hell that means.
I blow out a breath and look around the still-and-too-quiet room and notice I have everyone’s eyes pinned directly on me. “Like I said, I have news. And it’s going to change a lot of things. I’m not sure how to tell you… but you need to know because I’m gonna need your support over the next twelve months. More than I ever have before.”
“Just spit it out, dammit!” Barrett yells.
That makes me lose it completely. I start to laugh, which only earns glares from the family surrounding me. “Sorry. Okay, so you know how Tony’s Diner is shutting down?”
“Yeah, that place was scary,” Maggie says, speaking truth.
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