"I didn't believe her at first. We had babies together, and she said she still loved me. Our family seemed so perfect and I was so happy to have the three of you in my life. I thought it was the aftermath of back-to-back pregnancies, like maybe she was exhausted and not thinking straight.
"It became more and more clear over time though, as she shut me out emotionally, that our life together was ending. I gave her space, thinking she would come around, but eventually I couldn't reach her at all.
She said I could see Pilot and you whenever I wanted, but seeing her was difficult so I spent most of my time on the road with the band. I threw myself into my career. I moved as far away as I could from New York to Honolulu and spent the rest of my time in Los Angeles.
"The whole time though, I watched Milena's movements. It wasn't right to spy on my former wife, I know.
But since we never officially divorced, I had more access to her private life than she realized. I took advantage of it. She was constantly taking these trips to the most random places, and I spent years trying to decipher her movements. I couldn't figure out how she chose where she went, or why she visited so many places every year. A part of me just wanted to understand why she pushed me away, and I thought her travel patterns held the answer.
"Before I knew it, you and Pilot were older. Milena convinced Pilot to spend the summers in Honolulu with me. To be honest, I wasn't here for him any more than I was there for him in New York. I had adjusted to a bachelor life and it was difficult to introduce kids into the fray again.
"You were a different story. You had no interest in the island and you were a miniature version of Milena. You stayed with her and traveled with her through Europe, Asia, Australia, everywhere. You loved the romance of art, and you would sit in her studio and watch her as she painted. She painted you sometimes. You loved to spend time with other artists and writers in her circle of friends, and they adored you. You were pure inspiration.
"When you hit your teenage years, you were angry with me for obvious reasons. Pilot was too, but his anger wasn't as fierce as yours—he was willing to give me a chance, to try again. I think the summers in Honolulu helped.
"At fourteen, you were name-dropping to get your group of girlfriends into eighteen and over clubs. Your mom freaked out, you know. Sure, Pilot got into trouble too, but she never worried about him. Or maybe she worried about you more because you were the youngest, and a girl. You always fought with her. It was night and day from your childhood. She got stricter with you, but it just made you lash out more."
"I never did anything," Brie argued, wishing he would shut up. She didn't want to remember how she treated her mom those last few months. "It was mostly Adele."
"Well, you worried your mother sick. She started traveling even more too, almost every week. It was almost like she had a deadline. I still have no idea what she was looking for. All the time I spent, looking for a pattern. If I had known what was going to happen... I probably would have just asked her what she was looking for. It's only in death that you realize how silly some secrets are."
Brie jumped to her feet. Secrets. James had given her all of his, but she knew she couldn't return the favor.
"So you think she was looking for something, but you don't know what?"
"She never confided in me. I spoke to some of her friends afterwards, but none of them had a clue either. Very few of them knew how much Milena traveled."
Brie folded her arms across her chest, staring at James for a moment. He stared back, waiting for her to make the first move. "I need some time to myself," she said. James' face fell, but Brie had gotten what Cora told her to get, so she left anyway.
She ran down the stairs to the lower deck and sat at the edge, holding onto the railing. Pilot wasn't around, so she had the deck to herself. She was desperate to feel something, anything. She hurdled over the flimsy railing and sat at the edge of the boat, facing the water.
A slight panic built in her chest. She knew she could fall at any minute, but it wasn't enough. Brie kicked off her Dolce Vita thong sandals into the ocean, watching them drift away. She wanted to disappear with them.
She focused on the single square foot beneath her feet, reliving everything James' had said to her.
The whole story was the opposite of what she had seen of James her entire life. A James that was open and honest? It was unbelievable.
She searched her body for feeling, and realized she was angry at her mom too. If James was telling the truth, why would Milena cheat on him? Why would she let James adopt her, then send him away? It wasn't just James who kept this a secret from her. Milena did too.
Brie let go of the railing slowly, balancing delicately on her toes. Her body ached, but Brie couldn't tell if it was because she was scared or because she was just now learning about all the things Milena had taken from her. She could have had a father growing up. She could have a father somewhere out there that she'd never met. Either way, it was another loss, like losing a parent all over again.
Brie stared at the sky dotted with stars, pretending she was floating above water. The boat churned underneath her, and then it hit her—wooziness.
She felt her toes slipping and reached for the railing, but she was already falling. She screamed, but no one came to her rescue; her hollow voice was swallowed by the waves rushing underneath her. The jarring impact with the ocean knocked the wind out of her, and the sky, water, and boat faded as she submerged into blackness.
*****
Brie woke up in the water. She waited for her lungs to burn from the lack of air, for the salt to sting the insides of her mouth—but the pain never came. She shivered; the chill of the water spread through her skin. She inhaled and exhaled slowly through her mouth to calm herself down as she tried to let her eyes adjust to the darkness. She imagined a series of waves crashing far up above her head as she drifted through the green-blue water, but she couldn't see anything. It didn't matter though; she was somehow able to breathe underwater. It wasn't the same uncomfortable breathing she had experienced when she went diving with Sirena. Her breathing was natural, considering the precarious situation she was in. She was able to breathe more deeply this time, but she didn't understand why.
Brie's vision wasn't getting any better, and she had trouble deciding which way was up. She figured it was either the middle of the night or she was so deep she couldn't see the surface. Brie twisted her body around trying to guess at the direction of the surface, only to face a massive black figure circling ten feet from her.
A large seal stared her down. Its head was probably the size of a human's, but its body was long and tubby, making the head look shrunken, unnatural. Its skin was dark, though it had a lighter underbelly.
It gazed at her with those human-like eyes and blinked.
Brie resisted the urge to scream. Was this the seal from her training with Sirena? What was it doing here? Brie wished she had paid more attention to the maps showing the cruise route. She had to be at least 60 miles from the place where Sirena took her underwater. Did seals swim this far away from their homes?
The seal ventured closer and Brie went rigid. But the seal merely nudged her, and then looked to its back. Brie tried to speak before remembering that she was surrounded by sea water—and that she was talking to a seal. The seal nudged her again, and she wondered with alarm if it wanted her to climb on its back.
Was this seal conscious? Brie knew that dolphins were supposed to be the smartest non-human mammals on the planet, but she couldn't think of anything specific about seals having smarts. Those eyes though—they bore into her with a specificity that seemed remarkably human. This wasn't an ordinary seal, and it wasn't a coincidence that this seal was here.
Brie swam above the seal, holding her hands out to touch it. One glance at the back of her hands showed that her skin was tinted a light purple blue from being underwater for so long. The skirt of her silly fifties dress was long and baggy on her; useless. She pulled the dress off reluctantly, though
she knew there was no reason to hold onto it. Not only was it dark, but it was a seal. What was it going to do—snap pictures of her and sell them to OK! Magazine?
She let her hands stroke its slippery skin, testing to see if it would swim away at her touch. When it didn't, she grabbed hold of its slippery body the best she could, wrapping her arms around its neck and gripping its body the way she gripped the body of a horse.
The seal swam, as if it knew exactly where it wanted to go.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Brie drifted along on the seal's back for what felt like hours, until finally she could see both the surface and floor of the ocean at the same time. How far down had she fallen? Once she could feel the sand and rock beneath her feet, she let go of the seal and broke through the ocean surface, inhaling the salted air for the first time since leaving the boat. She took the deepest breath she possible could, letting her brain buzz from the overdose of oxygen.
"Thank you," Brie said, once she'd caught her breath. "You saved my life." When she glanced back at the seal, it had been replaced by a gray, mutated human head and shoulders, floating just above the water.
Brie yelped—the face had a squashed nose and pink cheeks with long whiskers and a fat chin. On pure instinct, she jetted toward the shore, but the water was thick and it was like trying to sprint through a pool of honey.
"It's me!" the mutant form said. The voice hit Brie like a bucket of cold water. She knew those husky undertones and, slowly, turned her head over her shoulder.
"Rykken?!" She treaded back toward the head to get a better look. Aside from the whiskers, it looked like Rykken. She patted his face, tracing his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his lips. "What happened to you?" she asked, avoiding the whiskers that sprouted from the skin just above his chin. "I don't understand."
His face was a mixture of sadness and anger. "Pretty disgusting, isn't it?"
She realized how terrible she must sound. "You're the seal?" She waited for him to tell her she was crazy, and this was all a hallucination brought on by the shock of almost drowning.
Instead, Rykken paled, his whiskers disappearing into his face. "Yes. I'm the seal. And you... you have gills?"
"What?"
"You have gills. That's how you were able to breathe underwater."
Brie reached up to her neck and felt 3 large slits on one side. "Oh, no wonder," she said dumbly. She felt her face heating up as she concentrated on removing her gills, forcing the skin on her neck to smooth over.
"Amazing." Rykken reached out to touch her neck, running the back of his two forefingers lightly over the spot the gills had been. His fingers were gray and slippery, but her skin still warmed at his touch.
"Sirena too? When I saw you girls in the ocean... I couldn't believe it. I think I scared you, didn't I?"
Brie noticed a dark gray body mass floating behind Rykken, and something clicked in her mind. "Your body... it's still..." Rykken pulled his hand back from her neck, as if she were all of a sudden contagious. "I guess we both have a lot of explaining to do," Brie said.
"Can you wait for me here, while I head to shore?" Rykken asked. "And close your eyes, even though it's dark. When I change form, I'm not exactly clothed." Now it was his turn to blush.
Brie did as she told, but it was hard to keep her eyes closed. She wondered how Rykken would get out of the water when the bottom half of him was a seal. Did he drag himself along the sandy bottom of the ocean floor?
A minute later, Rykken called out to her. "I left clean clothes for you on the beach." Brie suddenly remembered she was down to her bra and panties. Every inch of her felt warmer than necessary, and she was thankful that Rykken couldn't see her. It's the same as a swimsuit, she told herself. And Rykken had seen her in a swimsuit plenty of times.
Brie waded to the shore of a deserted stretch of beach, noting that Rykken faced the opposite direction. She stripped down and pulled on the board shorts Rykken had left her. She inhaled the fresh scent of rain water and coconut on Rykken's shirt as she tugged it over her head. She pulled her arms around her chest to cover herself.
"Where are we?" she asked. Rykken faced her.
"Off the coast of Moloka'i. This volcano—Moanalua—is the largest volcano on any of the islands." He took in her outfit from head to toe. "I figured you'd want something dry to wear, if you weren't dead by the time I reached you. The clothes are probably too big for you, but—"
"They're perfect. Thank you." Brie sat down on the beach, exhausted.
Rykken sat down next to her, leaning back into the sand on the support of his elbows. "I wanted to talk to you after I saw you in the water with Sirena. I came to the beach to look for you, but Clara found me first. She told me about the Hallows, and that you were one of them. She said she's suspected I was one too, for awhile now."
"She didn't tell me." Brie's pulse quickened, stirring irritably. "Not that we ever talk. But she would have told Thessa, and Thessa could have told me. I wish I knew. I've felt so alone this whole time, not having Pilot to confide in."
"Thessa didn't want you to know, I don't think." Rykken sat up, dusting the sand off his arms. "She doesn't want us to train together either. Cora and Clara are going to train me, so I can learn to control my gift."
"Your gift is turning into a seal?" Brie didn't think it was so much of a gift as it was a curse.
"Do you remember the legend Pilot told at the Homecoming bonfire? About the selkies and the shark-men? They were two real families that once resided on Hawaii—Hallows and Nephilim, respectively. Clara thinks I'm a descendant of the Hallow family."
Brie stared at the ocean. "The pendant was for you, wasn't it?" In the distance, where the ocean met the sky, a sliver of color peeked through the night blue, indicating that it was close to morning. "I thought it was for me, or Pilot."
"Yes, it was for me, but I regret ever touching it now." Rykken smoothed the front of his shirt. "It did this to me."
He spoke with regret, but Brie couldn't think of a happier circumstance. She finally had someone to share her world with.
"It's not bad," she said, rolling up her baggy shorts. "Being a Hallow, I mean."
"Not for you," Rykken said, chuckling. "Your body parts don't morph into seal body parts every time you touch too much water. My foster mother... I don't think she'll recover. Clara and Cora are going to pay her a visit, but I'm worried it won't be enough."
"How did you explain it to her?"
"She thinks I'm cursed." Rykken told Brie about the night of the dance—how he stepped into the shower and the bath tub broke under his weight. "When the tub cracked, the water drained away into the living room. My foster mother turned off the shower head, and within a few minutes I was back to normal.
When I fell, I bruised my head, but even that healed quickly. It didn't take long to figure out what made me turn into a seal."
"I'm so sorry," Brie said. "You probably freaked out." She resisted the urge to hug him. Rykken seemed so sad and she wished she could comfort him, but a hug between them was out of the question.
"I did. I was afraid to even brush my teeth." Rykken laughed. "Luckily, I need more water than that to change."
"That's why you quit water polo," Brie said, putting the pieces together.
He looked at her, his cheeks the color of a soft sunburn. "When I saw you under water, swimming without any equipment—I felt hope. That you had a secret and you were surviving." Absentmindedly, he traced the outline of her planted hand in the sand with his index finger. "Sure, it made you act weird, and your family didn't understand what was happening to you and that hurt them. But overall, you were dealing with it."
"You hurt Pilot and Justin when you quit water polo," Brie said. "Pilot kept asking me why you were ignoring him."
"He did?" Rykken looked at Brie curiously. "What did you tell him?"
"Same thing I told Justin—I didn't know."
Rykken scoffed. "Justin hates me right now, but I don't think it has much to do with water po
lo."
"He doesn't hate you," Brie promised, even though he hadn't told her that. She didn't want Rykken to feel guilty though. "He was upset that you quit, even though he gets to be captain now. His priority is the team."
Rykken was silent, and Brie wondered what was going through his mind. "I didn't have a choice to stay."
"I know," Brie said. She patted his arm. "I guess that's what secrets do—they hurt people."
He looked up, and his eyes were like liquid chocolate she could drink. "Sometimes it's better to hurt someone than lose them completely by telling them the truth." His fingers brushed against the back of her hand. He cringed, his eyes drifting away.
Brie nodded, pulling her hand away from his arm. She was afraid she'd lingered too long and he didn't want her to touch him. "Exactly."
"Brie," he said softly, his voice full of concern. "On the boat... were you—were you trying to commit suicide?"
Brie sat up. "What? No! Why would you think that?"
He leaned back, folding his arms behind his head and laying in the sand. "I didn't just appear. I fell asleep early last night, mostly feeling depressed. The only person I could talk to about my new condition was you, and you were on the boat cruise for a week. I... I dreamt about you though. In my dream, you climbed over the boat railings and jumped off, hitting the ocean with a wicked smack. Then you sunk, not even fighting the water that was pulling you under."
"Sounds about right," Brie admitted, "except for the jumping part. I was being stupid and I fell off the boat." She lowered herself into the sand next to him, resting her head against the palm of her hand and holding her weight on her elbow. "How did you dream about that though?"
Silver Smoke (#1 of Seven Halos Series) Page 22
