Arth was gay!
Sanya blanched as her mind ran over the many instances that she had spent with him since her visit. So many things fell into place. Oh my God! No wonder his face had been radiant that morning as she was leaving his shop. That was because his boyfriend Farhan had come visiting. Sanya couldn’t resist reading the full interview.
Q: So when did you realise that you were not normal?
A: I am not sure what you mean by suggesting that I am not normal. Of course I am. By whose standards would you say that I am abnormal?
Q: Well, the society’s. Who else?
A: Who is the society? Isn’t that you, me and the rest of the world? I think I am absolutely normal. From where I am, I could easily call a heterosexual male abnormal. I choose not to do it. Just because someone is different does not make them abnormal. I don’t care for that.
Q: Right, I get what you mean. Well, let me put it this way. When did you realise that you were gay?
A: Maybe when I was seventeen or so. I am not exactly sure. What I found strange was that my twin brother Ansh was always keen on girls. He had these posters of sexy young women—actresses mainly—plastered all over his bedroom. He expected me to drool over them the same way he did. But I never found that a turn on. Then, on an off chance, a friend took me to a gay bar. She wanted to just experience something different. That’s when I guessed that maybe I was gay.
Q: It must have been a shock. Did you try to overcome the feeling? I mean, fight it…or?
A: Well, I wouldn’t say I fought it. I just went silent. It was definitely a shock. But then, my family is very open and we always speak our minds. But this was the first time I was not sure that I wanted to talk to anyone about what I had discovered about myself.
Q: Your family obviously knows that you are homosexual. How did that work out?
A: As I mentioned, I went silent. And that’s not normal at home. My twin and I are extremely sensitive towards each other. He noticed almost immediately. He gave me a few days to come out with what was bothering me. When I did not say anything, he imbibed me with four pegs of whisky on a Saturday night and forced the truth out of me. (Grins)
Q: It must have been a traumatic experience.
A: It was an enlightening experience, actually. It was a relief that finally I could tell someone the truth. And that that someone happened to be my twin brother was the next best thing. We had never had anything hidden between the two of us. And the way Ansh reacted was humbling. He just hugged me and told me firmly that there was nothing wrong with me. He assured me that it was absolutely normal for some people to be interested in the same sex and I should go ahead and live my life just the way I wanted to.
Q: And your parents? Was it easy talking to them about it? How did they react?
A: My parents are modern in the sense that they accept people for what they are. In fact, they were the ones who had taught us to be truthful, always. Well, this was the time for them to face the truth—that one of their sons was gay. All that said I would be lying if I said that they were enamoured with the idea. My father was shocked to say the least. He was in denial for a few months. Actually, he didn’t speak to me for more than a month. But my mother—even though she was equally shocked—was supportive, as she’s the one who holds our family together. She was determined to know more. She did quite a bit of research about homosexuality and arrived at the conclusion that there was nothing wrong with me—physically or mentally. It was she who turned my father around. While it took him a few months, my father has also accepted me totally. And not just me, my partner too!
Q: You mean you have a single partner? You don’t sleep around?
A: (Laughs out loud) Being gay does not necessitate that I am a slut. I don’t sleep around. Of course, I explored a couple of relationships before settling down with one partner. But now that I have found the love of my life, I have one partner, yeah.
Q: Where do you live? I mean, have you moved out of your home and live separately…or?
A: I have a cottage of my own on the same grounds as my parents’ home. I live there.
Q: Does your partner live there too?
A: Not always, no. I am sure that will happen soon.
Q: It’s really nice of you to give this interview to our newspaper. There are a lot of people out there who are not able to be so bold as to speak the truth. Do you have anything to say to them?
A: I will just say that the best way to go about it is to accept oneself. Once you do that, the people around you don’t have a choice but to accept you for what you are. And another request I have is that please don’t be browbeaten into getting married to someone from the opposite sex because of pressure from parents, family or the society. That is the worst sin a homosexual can commit. Don’t you agree?
Q: You are absolutely right. Thank you Arth Sharma!
A: Thank you!
Sanya’s legs felt too weak to hold her and she sat down on the double bed with a plop. Arth was homosexual. All these years she had been holding a candle to him and he wasn’t even interested in women. She had a tough time controlling the nausea that rose within her. She shook her head in denial. Arth had never ever been attracted to her. To him, she had only been a little girl who needed to be protected. Nothing personal! No wonder he never cared to spend time with her.
Sanya got up from the bed and walked out of Arth’s home in a rush. She was so upset that she seriously considered packing her bags and leaving for London.
15
It looked like fate had other plans for Sanya. That same evening, Shantanu came home to talk to her. He had spoken to a friend who owned a five-star hotel. The friend had promised to let Sanya train at one of his restaurants, under the Head Chef and also learn the commercial side to her skills.
He noticed that Sanya had a pinched look on her face and asked, “Something the matter, little one?” with genuine concern.
Sanya looked up at him and shook her head, “No uncle. Everything’s fine.” While it was obvious that it was not, Shantanu decided not to probe. He gave her a visiting card with a number to call for an appointment the very next day and wished her the very best.
Sanya felt let down that Ansh hadn’t bothered to warn her about Arth being gay. He had known that she was interested in Arth. He could have saved her a lot of mental agony.
Sanya was pacing the floor of the kitchen, unable to concentrate on preparing dinner. Jaya realised that her protégée was distracted and continued to do her job with Deepa’s assistance.
Why was Ansh still not home? He always came by this time. Right from the day she had arrived in Mumbai, he had been home to torment her every evening. He was late on the one day she was desperate for him to get home so that she could give him a piece of her mind. Could anything be more frustrating?
Sanya was angry and disappointed that the feelings she had harboured for Arth were wasted. She needed a punching bag. And who better than Ansh?
In her anger towards Ansh, Sanya forgot the hours they had spent harmoniously only the earlier evening. All she could see was her hurt and she felt so cheated. Well, she couldn’t blame Arth for being a homosexual. It wasn’t his fault the way he was wired. And now she could see that he’d never encouraged her.
But it was different with Ansh. He had been fully aware that Sanya was interested in Arth. She had made it clear in different ways even if she hadn’t talked about her feelings in so many words. Ansh was also aware of his brother’s sexual preference. Ansh had spent most of his free time with her over the past couple of weeks since her arrival. He could have easily told her the truth. But the rat had chosen to keep quiet.
Visibly upset, Sanya went away to her room. Shantanu’s good news hadn’t yet registered with her as she placed the visiting card that he had given her on the side table near her bed. She sat at the window, staring outside, her eyes unfocussed. An orange sun was going down the Arabian Sea as it set, the water glowing in its wake.
Sanya felt it symbolised not j
ust the end to the day but also the demise of her love life. Over the past few weeks, getting together with Arth was the driving force that had run her life. Even before that, she had been thinking of him as her life partner since a whole decade. All that was at an end and Sanya felt uprooted and lost.
“Hey Sanya! What are you doing up here? I thought you’d be cooking up a storm in the kitchen now. No special dinner tonight or what?” asked Ansh’s teasing voice that was too close for comfort. As usual, he had just barged in, not bothering to knock.
Sanya turned in a temper to let rip only to stop in astonishment as she saw the single yellow rose that he held in his hand. It was a fresh bud just beginning to open as if it had been plucked from the plant just then, which it probably had been.
Seeing her look at the flower, Ansh offered it to her saying, “Actually I wanted to give you a red rose, but thought that I should offer you friendship first, before we move on to something deeper.”
Was that uncertainty she saw in the grey green depth of his eyes? Sanya wasn’t sure. Ansh was supremely confident and his being unsure was highly improbable.
“Well, thanks Ansh,” she said, before taking the rose from him. It smelt divine and she couldn’t help feeling soothed by his gesture.
Ansh pushed his hands into his jeans’ pockets to stop them from grabbing hold of her to kiss her senseless. He had better take it slow and woo her into falling for him.
Sanya raised her head to look at him with red-rimmed eyes. “I mean it, Ansh. I really could do with some cheering up today.”
“But what’s wrong Sanya? Dad said that he’s got a superb deal for you to train with some five-star chef. That’s such awesome news! I thought you’d be on top of the world. What’s upset you?” he asked her, genuine concern in his voice. He walked up to her and, placing his hands on her shoulders, he insisted, “Come on, out with it”.
Sanya looked up at Ansh. Oh God! Did he have to be so handsome? Worse still, why the hell did her traitorous body respond so shamelessly to his nearness? It never failed, not once.
Sanya pouted at him as she said, “Why didn’t you tell me about Arth?”
“What about Arth?”
“Ansh, don’t pretend not to know. I know that you’re aware that Arth is gay. I saw…”
Ansh interrupted her. “Of course I know Arth is gay. Why would I pretend not to? If my twin is homosexual, it’s his business and nobody else’s. So what’s the big deal?” he asked, wondering what she was getting at.
“Why didn’t you tell me Ansh? You know that I was interested in him.” Ansh didn’t miss the past tense. “You could have saved me all the anguish. You…”
Ansh stopped her midway again. “Tell me something Sanya. We both know that you don’t think much of me. Would you have believed me if I’d told you the truth about Arth? Moreover, it’s Arth’s business and not mine. I thought it best that you got to know about it directly from him.”
That shut Sanya up. She couldn’t deny what he was saying. She would have never taken him seriously.
“And how did you find out if Arth didn’t tell you himself?” asked Ansh, his voice mildly curious.
Sanya turned around with a jerk as guilty colour rushed to her cheeks. He had her there. She had been snooping around Arth’s home without the family’s knowledge. Her eyes turned dark with emotion as she wondered how to tell Ansh the truth. It never even struck her to lie under the circumstances. What she had done was wrong, but that didn’t mean that she should hide the truth from him.
Hanging her head in shame, Sanya said in a soft voice, “I went to his house today afternoon. I was so frustrated when I realised that Arth wasn’t interested in spending time with me. I thought that maybe he had a girlfriend and I might be able to find out by checking out his home. I’m sorry, Ansh! That wasn’t a nice thing to do.” She raised her head to look him straight in the eye. “I’ve been a horrible guest, Ansh. I think I’ll leave first thing tomorrow morning,” she said, feeling tearful. She had felt more at home at Panorama than her own house in London.
“So you plan to run away in the face of trouble?” asked Ansh, his voice teasing, his eyes shining with mirth.
“Ansh, I’m not planning to run away. I…” her voice shook as she was too close to tears. She turned away from Ansh towards the windows, her shoulders hunched. Oh, what a mess!
Ansh moved closer to hug her slender body. “My darling princess! Don’t be upset,” he said as he held her tight.
Sanya turned around and buried her face in Ansh’s chest, her body shaking with the sobs that she had been holding back since her afternoon visit to Arth’s home. Her arms went around his waist as she cried her heart out for her lost dreams. Ansh stroked her back rhythmically, doing his best to calm her down. It was a while before Sanya stopped crying and moved out of his arms.
“I’m sorry Ansh. Sorry for everything. I haven’t been a nice person, especially not to you. I’m sorry for being so rude to you. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
Ansh snapped his fingers in front of her face, startling her. “Hey! What’s this nonsense that I’m hearing? I thought we were friends. I gave you a yellow rose and you accepted it. Now what was that speech about?” he teased, grinning at her.
Sanya looked up at him in surprise with tear-drenched brown eyes that tugged at his heart, even as she asked him, “You still want to be friends with me?”
“You bet!” he said, hugging her. “Chalo now, wash your face and let’s go down and find out more about this restaurant training.”
That same night the healing began for Sanya as she slowly let go of her feelings for Arth and accepted that he could never be hers.
It wasn’t too difficult once she understood that she had been in love with a non-existent person who had lived only in her imagination.
16
Head Chef Pritam was disgusted after his meeting with the Managing Director of the five-star hotel. The MD had told him—not asked him—to accept a novice into his team and train her in the bargain. Pritam had created his team with a lot of effort, so much so that they were ready to move with him whenever he did. That’s the kind of loyalty he inspired.
And now it seemed he would have to take this girl under his wing, one who had no formal training or qualification. What the hell! He had never been in such a stupid situation in the twenty years of his career that had taken him around the world. It looked like he might as well give up his position as Head Chef and begin classes for housewives. Pritam fumed! But then, he didn’t have much of a choice, unless he quit in a huff. He was under a contract and he wasn’t one to breach one in a fit of temper.
But that didn’t mean he couldn’t make this girl’s life hell, he decided with a glint in his dark eyes.
Sanya’s meeting with Head Chef Pritam appeared smooth on the surface.
“Sanya Chaturvedi. You must be vegetarian, if I’m not mistaken. Does that mean you wouldn’t want to cook non-vegetarian?” Pritam pinned her with his piercing dark gaze, a small frown on his face.
Sanya was cool and confident, not too bothered by his aggressive stance. Right now, she couldn’t give a damn what happened in her life. If it worked, it did. If it didn’t, well, so what?
She looked at him steadily. “I am eggetarian. But, I have no issues cooking non-vegetarian. Only I’ll need to learn from scratch.”
Pritam was impressed, if only a little, despite himself. The candidate was obviously young. But she looked so confident and mature. “And when can you begin?” he barked.
“Tomorrow?” she pushed the ball right back into his court with that one word, her right eyebrow up in an arch.
Pritam nodded. “Report to my kitchen at 8 am sharp. I don’t tolerate tardiness or indiscipline,” he said, getting up to indicate that the meeting was over.
Sanya got up immediately too. “Sure, Head Chef Pritam. I’ll be here at eight in the morning.”
“Not here, but at the back entrance.” Pritam insisted on having the last word.
Sanya nodded. “Thank you sir,” she said, letting herself out of her new boss’s cabin.
Phew!
That hadn’t been bad at all. Feeling slightly better, Sanya went to check out a couple of studio apartments in the area.
She had come across the information when she did a search for rental apartments on the internet. She couldn’t impose on the Sharmas for another six months.
She liked the one in a newly constructed building. It was barely a five-minute walk to work and was just perfect. Sanya paid them a token advance and promised to shift the same day after paying the balance. Yeah, she planned to move in immediately.
Sanya went shopping after that. She went to Colaba Causeway to buy a few knickknacks for her new apartment. Since it was already furnished with a bed, wardrobe, AC and a functional kitchenette, she bought a few bed-sheets, pillow covers, a couple of cushions, a bedside lamp and a few other items that caught her eye. Seeing a beautiful ceramic vase, she immediately thought of Ratna aunty and had it gift-wrapped for her. That’s when Sanya decided to get a colourful shawl, some metal bangles and bead necklaces for Jaya and Deepa.
She took a cab back to her new apartment block, paid the house owner, took the keys and went to leave her purchases in her new home.
It was almost four when she reached the Sharmas’ home.
Ratna was startled by Sanya’s decision to move out the very same day.
Sanya explained, “Aunty, I’ll be starting my training tomorrow morning at eight and will be working on Sundays too. Don’t you think it makes better sense to move into my new home today?”
Ratna nodded. It definitely made sense. Looking at the young lady from London, Ratna felt that she had somehow grown up overnight. It must be landing the job of a trainee in such a posh hotel, concluded Ratna.
With a smile on her face, Ratna hugged Sanya, insisting, “I hope you’ll think of this as your second home, Sanya. You must visit us whenever you find time.”
Sanya felt choked as she hugged Ratna back. The older woman was so loving and supportive. The parting wasn’t easy. But it was best this way.
Flaming Sun Collection 3: Perfect Twins Find Anya (Box Set with 3 novellas) Page 7
